You Know What That Means
The gossip around these parts is that Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper went out on a couple (or more) dates together. The tabloids hailed them as the second coming of Jen & Brad. Well, if they were touching nipples in the morning, it doesn't sound like they are anymore.
At the Louis Vuitton show in Paris yesterday, Brad talked a little bit about the noise going around that he's boning Jenny. And he did it in FRENCH. Swoo-ooon. My no-no just queefed in a French accent.
Brad said, "She's a friend of mine. Simply, simply, just a friend. In America, its not like it is here. She's someone who is super, super known. Famous. If someone says 'hello' to her, it's given that he's fallen in love with her. So, no. No. She's a very, very interesting woman, but she's simply a friend."
A "very interesting woman"? That's like when a one-night-fuck says to you afterwards, "That was fun." That's my cue to stroll to his bathroom, wipe my freshly sexed-up ass on his good towel, grab my clothes and proceed to do the walk of shame knowing that I messed up as a true slut. He's basically saying, "Your fuck game is weak!"
"A very interesting woman" either means: a) He got weirded out when Jenny told him they couldn't have sex until the following week because that's when her cycle started. b) She showed up to their second date in her dream wedding dress. c) The head was whack.
Source: People
Who's this guy again?
I can't bag on Jennifer Aniston for pining after douches because just about everyone I know (except for my mom and a few other relatives) seems to have the same weakness for becoming attracted to assholes.
Eh, Jennifer Aniston just really doesn't bother me at all. She's fine.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
"I can't help it the kid was too short to reach my dials!"
But someone said he is searching someone on the famous rich men seeking passion site *******www.sugarscupid. c o m. there are some of his hot pictures.. joke or not?
Damn Bradley Cooper is HOT. But he looks like he's a total man whore. But swoon he got a hot face. And those pretty blue eyes,..YUM. Why does that fugly Jenny get to screw all the hot guys in Hollywood?!
"In America, its not like it is here. She's someone who is super, super known"
He had to explain that she is famous
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Very interesting is a very nice way of Brad telling Jennifer to fuck herself. He wouldn't want to make the vampire he is boinking jealous.
"A "very interesting woman"? That's like when a one-night-fuck says to you afterwards, "That was fun." That's my cue to stroll to his bathroom, wipe my freshly sexed-up ass on his good towel, grab my clothes and proceed to do the walk of shame knowing that I messed up as a true slut. He's basically saying, "Your fuck game is weak!"
Now thats the SAD fucking truth. Props to wiping on the good towels. funny shit. I must have my MK fix on a daily basis.
But I do find credible reports (from those in the LA gay community) re: BC being gay to be worth reading since we are in fact discussing this, important topic, or not.
"Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!" - MK 5/13/09
"A very interesting woman" is also how Gyllenhaal refers to Witherspoon. Yeah. I think Aniston is thinking, well, if it's good enough for Oscar-winner Reese, it's good enough for me. Why not hook up with a man who is pretty but who will be just your pal and basically leave you alone (especially when you're on the cusp of menopause?)? Although I still think she should get herself an unattractive but grateful civilian billionaire and be done with it.
MK - and only MK - can make Jen Aniston and her boring life amusing, but what's really funny is the idea of people who don't know her wanting to have an intelligent conversation about her life -- on DListed, for heaven's sake.
I was all about the "good towel" and a little mindless AJ bashing. Someone cares way too much, and it's not me.
Whatcha gonna do, *SPIT* on me? Heh.
"Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!" - MK 5/13/09
Oh and PS, I think Jen is still single and unlucky in love because she's been blessed with so much fucking money and a few years with Brad Pitt's fabulousness. This makes me believe in karma. Time for someone else to get some.
(michael sheen's queen, that is)
My head gay, located in West Hollywood, and who, despite living in LA, has no clue what's going on in the industry (he hike way too much), knows Bradley Cooper is gay. So based on that, he must be. But he's so damn hot and broken, I would be willing to give him a twirl and let him beat the shit out of me and throw me out the door when we were done.
(michael sheen's queen, that is)
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 8:50pm.
angel_i
I remember, in school, when some scandal would go down and I would HAVE to have the 411 - juicier the better - and the BEST scandals were always really LONG and INVOLVED, preferably a number of players and a palpable ongoing sexual tension (altho I never would have called it that back then). So you could watch their every movement - how they passed each other in the halls; how they sat in class; how they ate lunch....
That shit is too funny, we all did it. Remember the Mr& Mrs. Smith debut?? Those two idiots (BP & AJ) stood there and had that look of "no, we didn't do shit, and we certainly didn't fuck".
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They totally started it! And then Jen with these movie choices. PUH-leeze! We get it. The worst part is that MK's lie-telling is way more interesting than anything that's actually going on. O - and the Brangeloonies - they be MESMERIZING!
Actually, I just looked at Jen's imdb to back myself up...I think, actually, she was getting ignored and then jumped on the Drama Boat for attention a little later. Apparently Friends with Money was very good (anybody?). The reviews were a little confusing at first as you see REALLY high ratings for 4 or 5 and then a one star. Gotta figure out who's right, right? Then this was the next one I saw:
Awful movie and terrible acting, especially Aniston's
And there I was - momentarily mesmerized.
I DID read, tho, that she's obviously too young for that cast. I got the impression she's a little bit Diva...she wants top billing and little competition. Which is what I think keeps her making low level films. She should live it up a little - get outta da spotlight and leave it up to a master just for the experience; and cuz I think I might actually put her on the map.
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
I don't know who this fucker is, but in the above pic, he looks like a Fiennes. May every Jack has his Jill. Still Don't have a date?
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angel_i
I remember, in school, when some scandal would go down and I would HAVE to have the 411 - juicier the better - and the BEST scandals were always really LONG and INVOLVED, preferably a number of players and a palpable ongoing sexual tension (altho I never would have called it that back then). So you could watch their every movement - how they passed each other in the halls; how they sat in class; how they ate lunch....
That shit is too funny, we all did it. Remember the Mr& Mrs. Smith debut?? Those two idiots (BP & AJ) stood there and had that look of "no, we didn't do shit, and we certainly didn't fuck". Haha that was hillarious, any idiot could see they got busy in a big way. Haha. Anyway, who gives a shit about what people want to make of this relationship? Personally I think if she wants to be with someone long term and they feel the sam, they will. Not gonna live my life by who this woman screws at night.
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
I think they would be cute together too. She's too desperate to be a slut tho...she has a little more dignity than that (not much more tho)...
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
I think they would be cute together.
i like how everybody knows how Jennifer is feeling whenever MK posts about her. 'oh she's fine' she has 'a perfect life', 'she doesn't have to have a man to be happy', 'she's not unhappy'. come on!!
oh and why oh why does ST. Angie and Brad have to make 60 million cameos in her threads? she's just not interesting on her own?
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
She's getting too old...
http://www.celebrityspills.com
He needs to grow a weenie.
re; A "very interesting woman"? That's like when a one-night-fuck says to you afterwards, "That was fun." That's my cue to stroll to his bathroom, wipe my freshly sexed-up ass on his good towel, grab my clothes and proceed to do the walk of shame knowing that I messed up as a true slut. He's basically saying, "Your fuck game is weak!"
Yes MK, and the best thing you can do is immediately
agree in a non committal voice, throw it right back in his face, as it where. (older and wiser)
Edie said that sometimes the line between the past and present is blurred.(They are both, it has to be said, quite, quite mad.)
Submitted by Lory on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 12:47pm.
Submitted by sparkle586 on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 12:27pm.
Thats what being a good fuck does for you. JA has the HB syndrome, I'm telling you -- cantfuckforshititis.
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Of course she's bad in bed. She has a vagina and you know how her boyfriends hate that!
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Heh! Yeah seriously. Maybe if she'd stop being a full time beard she could get somewhere. And seriously, why does everyone try to pull that independent woman shit with this chick. Nobody gives a fuck that this bitch doesn't have a husband and kids except her. She's a huge ass pile of flaming boring insecure shit and thats what people cant stand about her. Everything about this chick is so fucking lame and contrived -- thats what makes her unlikable.
@iHeart: LOL at cheeto fighters. They have no backbone just like Britney;p Angie's minions are, by far, the most hearty!
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
I love this shit. It's great - it's like a dream come true.
I remember, in school, when some scandal would go down and I would HAVE to have the 411 - juicier the better - and the BEST scandals were always really LONG and INVOLVED, preferably a number of players and a palpable ongoing sexual tension (altho I never would have called it that back then). So you could watch their every movement - how they passed each other in the halls; how they sat in class; how they ate lunch...and make guesses at what was going on. And you try to keep close to the people in the know so you can know. (I've never understood why it was so important that I know; I just know it is. Maybe I just want to know if my guesses are right.) And there's always a couple people - either they want to be popular *coughperezcough* or, as we see here, they like to be shit disturbers becuz DRAH-MA is funny; moreso when it's en masse. And to torture the obnoxious players of said drama for starting it in the first place.
So I totally understand why he still posts about these bitches:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
I'd comment on this but Neil Young is at Glastonbury (on repeat, he performed yesterday evening) and this is some good shit Dlist sluts
Good frickin god there has to be some kind of fun news somewhere. The JA posts always spurn loons & the MJ shit is so overloaded, plus the infighting is beyond ridic. I missed the cheeto fighters dammit!! Now THAT was newsworthy!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 11:18am.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 11:08am.
JEN is starting to get that look on her face that ALL my co-workers have - I call it "Perma-Frown"
Fuckers are making me get it, too.
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NO, Diamond! Don't get the Frown! Come and laugh lots at Dlisted! Get stoned once per week or prn with a really fun friend. Dr hysteria's prescription!
;D
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LOL. You're right. Just watched Afroman's "Because I Got High" and now iz all happy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4Btclf3jWA
DAMN. Late again to the partay! This is the kind of post that makes the brangeloonies come a-sniffing for "career hag" blood hahaa!!! In between bottle-feeding purple drank to that baby of that third baby daddy, of course.
I'm glad these two are not together. Bradley is just fug to me... fuggier than the original. I think she would look good with Gerard Butler... in fact I'd probably get jealous and turn into a rabid hater...
MizRo: You too. :)
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
rotten-egg: I know sweets. Have a great day all! *muah*
-"Submitted by MizRo on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 1:20pm."
It happens, sometimes. Often, when people don't take the celebrity too seriously it's when we are able to have rational arguments.
-"Submitted by Lory on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 1:24pm."
Haha! thanks, but I'll revert back to my original spiky hair do pretty soon.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by Mother Superior on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 1:56pm.
Interesting is one of the most diplomatic words ever!
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So is "nice", Mother Superior. Ehehehehe.
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Bottom-feeder.
Interesting is one of the most diplomatic words ever!
I guess he's just not into her and is too much of a gentleman to tell everyone she has embroided her negligee with his name, calls herself 'Mrs Cooper', has picked up names for their future kids and has a shrine to him at her place.
Instead telling everyone, he shruggs her off as interesting.
What a nice dude!
Tickle Loris in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
Submitted by MizRo on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 1:36pm.
I have a great memory.
No, I wouldn't spit at Joe Jackson. Or anyone. Ever.
Not that someone like you would understand.
You step off. I did nothing to you.
Real life calls. I'm sure I'll catch you all over every post when I have time to come back here for a little light reading.
Have a great day!
"Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!" - MK 5/13/09
Submitted by cprincess on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 12:59pm.
I was starting to think that he was hot now I think he might just be annoying and just like a normal Hollywood actor-tedious.....
I dont know what to say about Aniston-I feel bad for her in a way because the tabloids never leave her alone with this crap about whether or not she has a man but on the other hand she doesnt look as if she thinks about anything more deep than the latest designer clothes-compare that to Angelina....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
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Didn't bother with the "submitted by", because I'm not interested in arguing with anyone, but anyhoo...
Tennis time in 30 minutes, so my DListed Saturday ends now, until tonight, anyway.
Also must play with my dog. She's my only friend and lover, you know... ;)
"Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!" - MK 5/13/09
Manimal5: lololol! What is odd about the Esposito/Cooper relationship is: didn't they have sex BEFORE the marriage? *gah*
BB & Lory: hahaha!! Didn't know he was gay. Alrighty then, moving right along...
Bradley loves himself so much he goes to a bar to pick himself up.
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Here goes the peace Lory... *sigh*
Laurel: step off. And no, BP/AJ references are not relevant to this thread. No, I did not read all the other comments before I came in.
And why do you know what I've posted other days?
I will post what I wish when IT IS RELEVANT unlike you.
And yes, if you know anything about Joe Jackson you would spit too.
Done with you. Please do not speak to me. Thank you.
Submitted by MizRo on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 1:29pm.
I wonder why Jennifer Esposito divorced him within a few months of marriage? Anyone?
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They are both competitive people so they hated the fact that they had to fight each other in order to get ze cock every time they went out.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by nursebetty on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 1:21pm.
Jen is fine. Just cause she's single doesn't mean she's unhappy. She has an amazing life. A life that most of us can only dream having. I know she's being picky about hooking up permanently after her husbands devastating betrayal with skankalina.
Maybe she'll never get married again, or she might adopt or do IVF just to have a child. Whatever she does I'm sure she'll be happy. I hate how the tabs are always trying to make her look like a loser cause she's not serious with anyone. She seems genuinely content the way she is. OTOH her cheating ex seems miserable with his life choices. Being in a relationship is not always better as many, many unhappy couples can attest to.
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*A* to the *men*!!!
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the end...
MizRo on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 1:29pm
Cuz he be teh GHEY!
That's what I heard anyway...
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by MizRo on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 1:29pm.
~~~
Apparently there's a BI over on CDAN, I think, where he's the main answer. It's not a particularly pleasant one either. Might try and dig it up actually.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
you KNOW its cos the head was wack
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
I wonder why Jennifer Esposito divorced him within a few months of marriage? Anyone?
MizRo: Let's hope things can stay civil here. It wouldn't be a surprise to find the "gotta keep a man and have a litter to be a real woman" team showing up later.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by MizRo on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 1:04pm.
No idea what "ssdd" means, but --
The whole post is obvious, very tired JA bashing. So?
Was going to say "sorry for ref'ing BP and AJ", but why bother?
It's really all about how Jen got dumped by Bradley Pitt-Stank, and hasn't yet found the right companion, anyway. That makes BP/AJ references relevant.
It's a comedy site, honey. No need to worry about what I write. MK is the star here.
And I was not the first to mention Miss Jolie.
Question: Do you really *spit* at people? Because that is too disgusting for words, Joe Jackson or not.
Cute avi, though. Makes you seem likeable.
And I do enjoy your posts. But I am here to read MK, and to say what I feel like saying.
Thanks for asking.
"Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!" - MK 5/13/09