Remember Jon & Kate?
With the news of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Billy Mays taking up prime real estate on the news and most websites, I kind of forgot that Jon & Kate existed. Although, on Sunday, I was walking down the street when I saw a raggedy rat chewing on a stale meatball. It reminded me of someone, but I just couldn't put my finger on it then......
Jon & Kate are still ticking, but they want everyone to know that they won't be whoring themselves out to the media anymore. Basically, they're knocking on our doors, peeking in and screaming, "WE'RE STILL HEEEEEERE." They issued this statement yesterday:
"During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation. Our goal is to do the very best for our children and that will be done as privately as possible. We appreciate the understanding, support and well wishes from so many."
Wait, they forgot to say, "Our goal is to do the very best for our children which is why we bought them CROOKED HOUSES. Yes, CROOKED HOUSES make children happy. CROOKED HOUSES make children behave. C-R-O-O-K-E-D H-O-U-S-E-S!"
Expect this shit to be a weekly thing with them. Next week they will issue another statement, "FYI: We still aren't talking to the media. We mean it......unless one of you just happens to stop by to borrow some sugar or something."
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I'm sorry, but when you've gone to such lengths to make your entire life a public spectacle, you don't get to cry "Privacy!" at the eleventh hour.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
I have never really paid any attention to these fucktards but it occured to me looking at this picture that Jon has about 1 1/2 of the 2 necessary Downs Syndrome chromosones. I mean really look at that picture and tell me I am wrong. I know nothing about this guy or his familial history but I would wager there is a Down's Syndrome child in the tree.
Crooked houses? How about crooked eye? She's sportin' a wicked wonk eye here. Kate we can see the wonk eye, okay? The skunk hair does nothing to hide it.
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
Droppin Kids Off in the Pool
They're disgusting, nearly as disgusting as the Octomom. I still laugh over the fact that Kate thinks she should be shilling for beauty companies and actually thinks the women of America want to imitate her rat-like hairdo. She's delusional - not as delusional as Sulyman, but almost.
And Jon is just a big boring wad.
Good God when will the world tire of these morons whoring out their poor kids? I cannot wait for them to grow up and write a nice fat tell-all book about Mommy Dearest and Daddy Nutless.
Bullcrap. These two morons crave the limelight.
Ooh, forgot to mention that last night on TLC there was a CROOKED HOUSE commercial! It said "you can personalize them" and showed pictures of Cara's house and the boys pirate house, too. Crooked House stands to make a lot of money off of this Jon and Kate fuckery.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Do you think he knows just how big a tool America thinks he is? I mean, really, does he grasp the enormity of his douchebaggery?
I think not.
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No, he doesn't grasp it. He probably thinks he's shit on a stick, when really, he's just full of shit with the IQ of a stick.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
"An Old Friend Of Jon's (Not Kate's) Speaks Up
(Interesting)"
If by "interesting" you mean "mind-numbingly dumb," then yes, totally interesting. :P
The "super six" b/c they were the six best looking guys in town? Vomit.
That picture says it all.
She's oblivious and he's itching to bust out of there.
Do you think he knows just how big a tool America thinks he is? I mean, really, does he grasp the enormity of his douchebaggery?
I think not.
An Old Friend Of Jon's (Not Kate's) Speaks Up (Interesting): http://tinyurl.com/oyqsfm
WIll never get fascination with the spate of shows on SuperBreeders. Yeah yeah children are a miracle (have em) but..nothing makes you special for being able to cough out chillens from your vajay jay. She didn't even conceive these herself right? What's the draw with these people?
This couple is so white bread and treacherous. He looks like someone who couldn't help his kids with their homework. She looks like a generic viper uber competitive mom on the playground. Please let this be their 15 minutes..
ooo, what the hell kind of picture is this?! are they all posed up or what is before or after split, i'm so confused.
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
Jon's eyes SCARE me, you can he is smiling with zee eyes and thinking "I'm putting six of my spawns right inside you, your life is over and it starts with THIS!".
Seriously - is he mentally retarded? He's so difficult to look at!
Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman to have sugar daddy??
It is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services came out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.
such as --- http://www.SugarDaddyChat.com/---
it's the biggest sugar dating site for beautiful woman and rich man!
Okay. Bye!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by greenfinch on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 8:47am.
i cant believe like 20 years later shes still driving past the molesters house and watching him. like you cant tell me thats normal
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I know...either shit or get off the pot. (shoot the bastard or stop driving by his house and tormenting yourself)
She did seem like a "whoa is me, I got it so bad" blah blah blah...I mean I have sympathy for victims, but she took it to a whole nother level
Mk,
To answer your top question -- NOPE. I don't remember them.
So what else is new?
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Jon Gosselin......im here ready and waiting. do me.
Seriously!?
These two twats released a public statement requesting that they be given privacy? I swear the comedy just writes itself.
If these two fucktards were my parents, I'd seriously start considering playing hopscotch on a freeway. A trained monkey would be a better parent.
Jon is so creepy looking and shifty. Like a Korean/Hawaiian Joe Jackson. Why does/should America care about a couple whose reproductive system didn't work proper?
You know what I thought after reading this?
That it's really sad that real celebrities have to, yaknow, die in order to 'take back' the headlines in the entertainment world.
Now, I watch my trashy reality shows too, I also even read and laugh at shit about those Real Housewives hags, but these two crossed a line when they started to feature in every damn news cover/show like they were "real" famous people, all because people are too retarded to be mesmerized by a shitload of kids and treat it as a kind of accomplishment to have so many.
No offense meant to anyone with several kids or who grew up in a big family, of course. You're likely good people and are not annoying me.
Note to Gosselins: Please just go away for good!!
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 9:36am.
i have never seen anything so horrifying in my life. like she'd spend 2-3 hours in the shower wiht a toothbrush up her arse cleaning it cause she felt grossed out by pooing.
like how does she fair iwth her period. or having sex...
the bf and i still laugh about it and make jokes too (yes we're just as terrible) but its one of the most ridiculous things ive ever seen.
i like how the dr. madeher eat high fibre foods to make her poo while she was out lol
or same dr last night puting vag juice on a towel and makign the dude rub it on his face...shes brutal.
greenfinch: OMG YES! Horrifying. Mr. Hekki and I watched that together and there were jokes for DAYS about toothbrushes and what we were really doing in the shower. (we're terrible)
And since we're a little poop-centric in our family (we report unusual or particularly satisfying BMs to the others), we couldn't understand her inhibition and shame. We really felt sorry for her, because she couldn't enjoy a good dump.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 9:14am.
omg we watch that show sometimes. did you se ethe one where the chick cleans her ass with a toothbrush after she poos?
No worries, they won't let us forget who they are. Until recently they weren't even THAT well known and now they are everywhere!
you people watch way too much tv!
*runs away*
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 9:11am.
FREEEEEEEEEEE LMAO that was not a real Gosslin! that was some imposter! LMAOOOOOO
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I've never seen the show so I don't recognize the kids. Colbert is fuuuneee!
Snowpiece: I LOVED that episode. That chick and the duster girl, Allison, are the all-time BEST EVER!!! The not-swallowing thing: you can't even make that shit up.
The show that comes on after it, "Obsessed" is pretty fucked up, too. People with OCD!
mike that's Table for Twelve, LOL surprised you even knew the Mom was a female.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
FREEEEEEEEEEE LMAO that was not a real Gosslin! that was some imposter! LMAOOOOOO
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
Who ARE these two exactly?,he looks like a
Chinaman and what's that thing on her head?
I've no idea....
Tevness
I met my perfect one on --~~B l a c k W h i t e l o v i n g.c O m~~- It is a wonderful dating site for black and white singles to have fun together! And it's free! Hope it can help you find your ideal match!
Wait, who are they? Did they work for MJ?
Are they kin to Debbie Rowe?
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
When Lord, when will your servants be free of these greedy, manipulative chuckle-heads?
*checking picture*
Yup. Jon still looks like a retarded burn victim.
Carry on.
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
her parents hate her. lmao
you know i saw the crooked houses epi last week and she went on about how htey always eat outside in the nice weather. but you know what bothers the hell out of me, and im sure its for her sanity from having to do dishes every day...i hate that they eat off of paper plates. drives me fucking nuts. you k now it would be cheaper to do dishes.... but paper plates at every meal..ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I was channel surfing and happened upon them last night. The twins really, really need to be medicated. I know I did. Jon is just a turd. The softer and slower Kate talks makes her more and more a victim. She didn't want this. She just wanted a picnic and those damn crooked houses for her precious herd.
by Snoogle on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 8:50am.
Does anyone know if Jon is getting his balls back in the divorce?
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I doubt it
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 8:44am.
oh totally anorexic like. she was also addicited to pain killers. she would inject tem in her tube as well. she had like 6 differnt doctors she wnt to for meds.
like she didnt even blend real food to put in her tube just shit like boost or whatever it is that old people supplement with. that was why i felt she had eating disorder. cause if it were a true swallow thing. shed be blending real food for the feedign tube which you can do...
it was jsut such a bizarre situation.
Does anyone know if Jon is getting his balls back in the divorce?
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I just watched the MK interview and I swear to the Goddess' of Lucite and Cutlets the minute he spoke unicorn kittens followed by rainbow glitter shot out my ass!!!
News Release For Jon and Kate:
I do not give a fuck about you and your marriage and your stupid fucking reality show. I was flipping channels and saw it once, why the fuck anyone would tune in to see Kate scream at Jon and kids, Jon be a pussy, money being thrown at undeserving assholes, and kids constantly throwing fits is beyond me...on second thought, I think I get it now, this are the same reasons why I watch VH1's Celeb Reality shows.
"WHO ORDERED THE HAMBURGER WITH AIDS?"
WHO?
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Never Can Say Goodbye
Submitted by applehead on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 8:42am.
it was disgusting. and i laughed at that too..why areyou taking that..youre just gonna waste it...cause im hungry lol. oh man. youre just gonna spit it out.
i cant believe like 20 years later shes still driving past the molesters house and watching him. like you cant tell me thats normal
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 8:38am.
freeeeeee? one of the kids???
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Yeah, I think the 6/25 episode one of the little girls did a cameo. She was cute. He called her Four Gosselin. It's about midway through.
http://www.comedycentral.com/colbertreport/full-episodes/index.jhtml?epi...
greenfinch so was she heavy or anorexic like? or normal?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
Submitted by EvilShoe on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 8:38am.
Submitted by greenfinch on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 8:34am
i have not seen that one! but i shall watch for it.
i am curious to see the one of the bulimic girl who hides the bags of vomit in her closet lol