Callate La Boca
Open wide, it's time for a large serving of CUNT STEW. Actually, this time it's CUNT PAELLA, because Fishsticks Paltrow is taking us to Spain! It's like her second home (Hell being her first). In true Fishsticks fashion, she couldn't just say "I LOVE SPAIN." No, she had to add that the United States sucks dirty ass, because there's not a building here that was made before 1991.
In an interview with the Associated Press (done entirely in Spanish, of course), Fishy yapped, "It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C., it's incredible. Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren't running around as much as in New York. They enjoy time with the family. They don't always have their Blackberries on."
Fishsticks really knows EVERYTHING about Spain. On Sunday afternoons, Pedro Almodovar takes Spanish lessons from Fishy so he can be even more "Spanish-ier." It's true.
In possibly related news, the entire population of Spain just moved to Antarctica.
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one more thing i am going to say:
i have been a journalist and editor for almost half a century. there is a great mass of idiotic media types who think the world rises and sets upon celebrity, who take every exhalation of one of these pretentious narcissists as some sort of holy writ. who have stunted personalities which require puffing up by interviewing and writing about these brainless people - "i must be somebody because i interviewed miss poop 2009" - and who give the rest of us a bad name.
too great a slice of the media is engaged in perpetuating this garbage, which does not have even the saving grace of humour.
give me human interest - not that of celebutards - give me political scandal, treachery, crime, any day. at least within those areas one can see the full range of the human animal on display, from the best to the worst. the airless, brainless, selfish world of celebrity robs us all of our humanity.
I can't wait till Chris Martin publicly takes up with someone younger and less goopy.
I try to like this skank. I really do, then she goes and fucks it up by opening her mouth
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
As a former resident of Barcelona, Fishsticks only got it about half right.
As usual.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes
Don't alot of businesses there basically shut down for the month of August? Yeah, I'd enjoy life more too if I got a month off. Bitch.
Can she possibly get any assier?
Everyone on the planet already knows Europe has a rich culture & tons of old ancient shit, that doesnt mean America is wretched & uninteresting. I am so tired of her being pretentious...She isnt even very good at it, she could at least try to bullshit us with something unique...She always sounds like a a really young/immature intellectual wannabe...She never stays ahead of the curve though, she thinks she is making these brilliant intellectual points, but its always involving concepts that average people pick up on when they are seniors in high school or college freshman.
She's an asshole, and ignorant. The oldest building in Spain is from the 3rd century CE (or AD), so she's only about 800 years off. So if you are gonna talk shit at least get your facts straight.
Also the house I live in is over 50 years old, and the church I go to to confess all my dirty little sins was built in 1790, by Spaniards.... so go fuck yourself Gwenny.
ETA: I live in San Diego, and a lot of the buildings in downtown San Diego are over a hundred years old.
Wait, this is the same woman who appeared in that thespian masterpiece ”View from the Top”? bwhahahaa. Yeah, tell us more about culture and shit Fishy. We are all ears.
there's lots of old buildings here in the US!
In Boston, even NYC...WTF this bitch needs a smackdown.
I used to like her...USED to
Loca!
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
Submitted by Gabriela on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:52pm.
I realize Spanish architecture goes back a long way but if she thinks all American buildings are only 17 years old then she has never been to New England.
Gabriela, ita. My house is 230+ years old. That would make it years and years and years old.
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She's flat and that's that!
17 years old? I think she's been eating way too much birdseed.
I realize Spanish architecture goes back a long way but if she thinks all American buildings are only 17 years old then she has never been to New England.
She does not realize what an asshole she is. It must have been so hard growing up rich in the United States. Fucking cunt. No one in Spain has blackberries? Stupid slag.
I had the misfortune of reading the rest of the interview online. It was nothing but a hard sell on her latest projects--the Spanish POOP site, the cookbook she's writing, the movie she's shooting, blah blah blah. She is so full of shit, especially when she goes off about how much she loves food and how she could never diet. Isn't this cunt the same one who goes on and on about master cleansing? The one who ended up in the hospital because of her extreme dieting? Isn't this the same cunt who barely picked at her food on that PBS show she did? She rings so hollow, time to shut that yapper, Gwynnie poo.
Gwyneth Paltrow does not live in the same world as the rest of humanity.
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Moo!
I love Spain, been there twice, would love to go again.
This bitch sickens me. I have nothing but respect for Spain, but I don't have put down my own country to make Spain seem so important.
I can't stand her.
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
really, the most boring idiot on the planet. i don't know why i am even wasting time commenting on her. . .
What does some bitch that probably only ever flies back and forth bewteen NY and Los Angeles know about America? Shut your hole bitch!
This is a really bad picture of her. I hate her hair, it looks stiff and the color is really yucky.
I'm Spaniard and I love my blackberry.
She's an idiot.
team ziggy all the way.
fuck this cunt.
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:21pm.
She sounds like those comic book fans who are convinced that they can go to Japan and everybody will be like Sailor Moon.
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LOL too true.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:14pm.
Sorry Jazzfish, I missed giving you the credit for this hilariousness
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No problem. I just saw I did, too.
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:16pm.
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So much word.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Well put, Ziggy. That sums it all up. Can't wait for outer planet excursions to start up. Maybe they'll all get stuck out there and die.
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:16pm.
And how dare this slut moan about America's lack of art and culture (which she does, CONSTANTLY) when she makes crap like IRONMAN?
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Brilliant!!
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Mother S-
Oh, I'd just jotted out my thoughts about MJ going from abused kid to drug-abusing possible pedo and you pd a compliment that I took as sincere but when I saw it I think you were gone so I never bothered thanking you until now. ;)
*****
SLUTS - NOT CUNTS!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
~cheetos & frapp~
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:22pm.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:19pm.
JustJack,
What I meant was if you drive through multiple states, you can really pick up distinctive vibes in each one. Fishy grouping the states together was a lazy statement. Each state has its own flavor
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Agreed, I was just trying to give Joe Jackson a chance to not look like such a pendejo yesterday.
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Not to give him a break, but I thought he may have said, "all the countries AND the United States" - must re-watch, but it gives me the winces.
:)
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Submitted by zomay on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:19pm.
JustJack,
What I meant was if you drive through multiple states, you can really pick up distinctive vibes in each one. Fishy grouping the states together was a lazy statement. Each state has its own flavor
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Agreed, I was just trying to give Joe Jackson a chance to not look like such a pendejo yesterday.
She sounds like those comic book fans who are convinced that they can go to Japan and everybody will be like Sailor Moon.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Team Zomay!
JustJack,
What I meant was if you drive through multiple states, you can really pick up distinctive vibes in each one. Fishy grouping the states together was a lazy statement. Each state has its own flavor.
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Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:16pm.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:13pm.
In defense of the good ole USA, I would like to point out that we are like two times bigger than western europe. And that each state is like its own country.
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So thats what Joe Jackson meant by "all the countries in the United states"
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that was funny.
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:10pm.
anyone been to Iceland? i really want to go there
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YAY! It's Ok-ish.
My parents found it boring, but it's nice if you know people there who can show you around (one of my best friends lives near Reykjavik).
Loads of broad land and flatness. Nonetheless the nature is beautiful, epscially in summer with midnight sun. Some geysirs and an open air spa. Funny street signs that loads of tourists take pictures of.
That't it really...
Tickle Loris in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:16pm.
Team Jazzfish_77 & JustJack!
Team USA, too! It's almost the 4th. Yee Haw!!
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TEAM USA all the way. Happy 4th!
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:15pm.
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LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
SHUT UP YOU STUPID BITCH!
Gwyneth doesn't have a fucking clue about European cultures. She made that perfectly clear when she flapped her cracked pussy flaps about England.
Most people in Europe cannot stand whores like Gwyneth. Vapid, talentless hookers who only get by on their parents name.
Bitch, please. Europeans have been suffering under your sort for centuries. If there's one thing Spain doesn't need, it's more bottom-feeding, undeserving, posturing, snooty slugs who survive on nothing but nepotism!
And don't feel good about yourself for snagging a Brit. Mr Paltrow is everything that is awful about the English middle classes: whiny, maudlin, and pompous.
She should be spending her every waking minute kissing American soil. I highly doubt that she'd be able to 'make it' in Europe, because without her name, I suspect that most Europeans would be able to see her for what she really is: An ignorant, loud-mouthed Yank who has made the error of mistaking wealth and recognition for talent.
And how dare this slut moan about America's lack of art and culture (which she does, CONSTANTLY) when she makes crap like IRONMAN?
Madonna is the exact same. Nasty, arrogant whores who don't know what the fuck they are talking about. Oh, and here's a little titbit - I know quite a few farmers who owned land near one of Vadges houses in England and they all bitched about her 24/7.
Fucking Mars might be a nice place to visit the next time you want to go travelling. Some of the land formations there are even older than the Spanish brothels you've been sliding around, slug.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:13pm.
In defense of the good ole USA, I would like to point out that we are like two times bigger than western europe. And that each state is like its own country.
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So thats what Joe Jackson meant by "all the countries in the United states"
Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:14pm.
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:10pm.
anyone been to Iceland? i really want to go there
I think Antarctica is super this time of year.
True. I hear the fall foliage is wonderful this time of year
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"Why would I love a couch?"- Joe Guidice
in other news....I don't believe in national pride but my country is definitely better than yours, just sayin... LOLOLOLOLOL
Team Jazzfish_77 & JustJack!
Team USA, too! It's almost the 4th. Yee Haw!!
Submitted by luscious_t on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:12pm.
Oh my, what did I write this time??? ;)
Must go and check....my memory is like a sieve....
Tickle Loris in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
Pendejo.
News update:
Aniston and UKer split up.
Update 2:
They're back together.
Update 3:
Rumor is Aniston is pregnant.
Update 4:
She isn't and they broke up again.
Update 5:
??
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UKer is the new governor of Cali and will allow gay marriage.
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Update 6: UKer dumped Aniston to marry secret gay lover Brad Pitt.
News update:
Aniston and UKer split up.
Update 2:
They're back together.
Update 3:
Rumor is Aniston is pregnant.
Update 4:
She isn't and they broke up again.
Update 5:
??
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Sorry Jazzfish, I missed giving you the credit for this hilariousness
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:10pm.
anyone been to Iceland? i really want to go there
I think Antarctica is super this time of year.
Oh god, is this thread C*nt VS C*nt for who can piss higher? Or rather, with more history?
Gywneth's the one to hate here, not each other.
No es bueno, no es bueno en todos los.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:10pm.
anyone been to Iceland? i really want to go there
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Iceland you say? Stick your head in the freezer.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by magnificent_G on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:09pm.
Italy and Denmark are worlds apart. Unfortunately. Copenhagen is a beautiful city and the quality life rate of the country is high.
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I watched this '60 Minutes' report about Denmark, and fell in love...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shepBx2ogJo
It seems like a great place to live. Not only because of the beauty, and how the county is run, but also because of the people.
News update:
Aniston and UKer split up.
Update 2:
They're back together.
Update 3:
Rumor is Aniston is pregnant.
Update 4:
She isn't and they broke up again.
Update 5:
??
==================
UKer is the new governor of Cali and will allow gay marriage.