Callate La Boca
Open wide, it's time for a large serving of CUNT STEW. Actually, this time it's CUNT PAELLA, because Fishsticks Paltrow is taking us to Spain! It's like her second home (Hell being her first). In true Fishsticks fashion, she couldn't just say "I LOVE SPAIN." No, she had to add that the United States sucks dirty ass, because there's not a building here that was made before 1991.
In an interview with the Associated Press (done entirely in Spanish, of course), Fishy yapped, "It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C., it's incredible. Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren't running around as much as in New York. They enjoy time with the family. They don't always have their Blackberries on."
Fishsticks really knows EVERYTHING about Spain. On Sunday afternoons, Pedro Almodovar takes Spanish lessons from Fishy so he can be even more "Spanish-ier." It's true.
In possibly related news, the entire population of Spain just moved to Antarctica.
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Stupid fishsticks! Her movie career ended, so that's why she can't shut your yap!
In defense of the good ole USA, I would like to point out that we are like two times bigger than western europe. And that each state is like its own country.
http://goeurope.about.com/od/europeanmaps/l/bl-country-size-comparison-m...
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Submitted by magnificent_G on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:10pm.
I did. Are you American? thats why! ; P
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"Why would I love a couch?"- Joe Guidice
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:09pm.
So has the USA won this thread yet?
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Was there ever a doubt?
Hey Mother Superior-
I didn't get a chance to thank you for the compliment in the MJ discussion the other night - so thanks :)
...my id is totally easy but my superego keeps a tight rein on that shit... so, I could actually be classy (if I didn't talk with such a potty mouth)
and Gwynnie just runs with the wrong crowd - because you can totally find people in America that aren't whores to materialism - maybe she needs to leave her coastal cities. Generally, though, I agree with her sentiment - she just has such a douchey, GOOPy way of speaking that her inner cunt can't help but shine through.
*****
SLUTS - NOT CUNTS!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
~cheetos & frapp~
News update:
Aniston and UKer split up.
Update 2:
They're back together.
Update 3:
Rumor is Aniston is pregnant.
Update 4:
She isn't and they broke up again.
Update 5:
??
Who talked about unemployed people being RELAXED?! Fuck, I'm unemployed and I have to cope with anxiety and light depression!
anyone been to Iceland? i really want to go there
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"Why would I love a couch?"- Joe Guidice
So has the USA won this thread yet?
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by S_G on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:02pm.
If I were to move to a European country, it would be either England (or one of UK countries), Italy, Holland or Denmark.
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Italy and Denmark are worlds apart. Unfortunately. Copenhagen is a beautiful city and the quality life rate of the country is high.
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:02pm.
In other news, Jennifer Anniston just married UKer
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Wow! That was fucking quick.
Start the countdown to fishy's stumble into the first wives club.
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Still, i can't imagine living(long term wise) anywhere but America.
America! Fuck YEAH!
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:03pm.
in this picture Goopy's head is rearing back in shock at the smell of her own bread oven.
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"Whats that funky smell"
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:00pm.
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yes but I'm a girl...and as far as I know, you guys are still too backwards to legalise gay marriage, I'd marry Aniston in a heartbeat and I'm not even gay, hell I'll even carry her baby if she wanted me to.
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 2:02pm.
In other news, Jennifer Anniston just married UKer
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busting a gut
From what I understand, London is no longer like it was during mary poppins, with cheerfull chimney sweeps dancing and singing with cockney accents....
I think its safe to say that any country gets a lot more enjoyable when you are rich or hosted by a wealthy person.
Still, to be able to run with the bulls in pamploma--since I don't drink anymore, that's not gonna happen--but it would be fun, as long as you don't slip and fall and get hooved to death...
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:51pm.
Submitted by Obsessa on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:46pm.
REAL european women are smarter, sexier, healthier and have way more tact and class than this piece of shit.
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Are you joking? Euros are eeeeaaasssy! Every euro girl ive ever know will have sex with someone just as easy as if she were eating a steak or something......not too classy..
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And now you know me.
I'm not easy, I'm not a steak and I'm classy!
There you go! :D
Tickle Loris in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:48pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:46pm.
Submitted by Owls are A-Holes on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:44pm.
Everyone! Welcome to Dlisted en Espanol!
The sentence of the day:
La chocha de Gwyneth huele a pescado podrido.
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OHMYGAWD!!! LOL
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Hahaha! I getting tired running to Spanglish translator!
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I know, huh?
http://www.freetranslation.com/
"The woodcock of Gwyneth smells of rotten fish."
in this picture Goopy's head is rearing back in shock at the smell of her own bread oven.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
If I were to move to a European country, it would be either England (or one of UK countries), Italy, Holland or Denmark.
In other news, Jennifer Anniston just married UKer
Yeah, there are no super old buildings in the U.S. because the native americans were NOT builders due to their sedentary way of life. And the Unites States was born as a country after the late 18th century (correct me if I'm wrong). So how the fuck does Goopy here expect to find ancient buildings? what a complete dumbass. It's not that people from the U.S don't want to have ancient traditions, buildings, culture, etc. it's just that they are sort of new in the americas. She's the complete opposite of a patriot fanatic from any of the red states.
Also it's so rich of her to criticize her own people when she has the very same life style. Don't tell me she takes time and effort to spend hours and hours "enjoying" her family instead of living the shallow and luxurious Hollywood life she loves so much.
Traga mierda y muere, pedazo de desperdicio humano. There!.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:43pm.
Submitted by UKer on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:42pm.
Submitted by Mother Superior on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:39pm.
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last time I checked the Mayans weren't from the USA.
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MESOAMERICA. Close enough. Suck it.
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Nah, I didn't express I meant American (north and south) culture, but Gwyn talks about US culture only.
Tickle Loris in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:55pm.
OMG EH I can see Corp. Choker's sexy knees!
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Haha....
Did you know that strippers use their knees while giving a lap dance to...well, um....get a MUCH larger tip!!!
OnT: I am not a motherfucking gay fish!
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*you've been far awaaaay. When I see your face my hearts burst into fire*
*Dont think too much just bust that thick*
What Loozer said.
I just came back from a month abroad and am always amazed at how nice it is to acclimate to a slower, more relaxed pace. Unless I'm in the throes of a heart attack, it's okay to wait a bit. We've all been spoiled with the instant gratification of the internet and cell phones. I thought I was going to die when I had to go 5 days without internet in Sicily...but...I lived and by the end of the 2nd day was pretty happy not being tethered to my laptop.
Regarding the architecture remarks, she does have a valid point. She just blew the delivery. There are some decently preserved older buildings, monuments and memorials in the states. But the fact remains this country is only 233 years old and, by default, does not possess cathedrals and castles dating back thousands of years. And yes, they are beautiful to behold and imposing in their age and significance. I hope that our "disposable" culture does not extend to all of our buildings - there are some that would be so cool to preserve.
Piece said.
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Thanks much!
***
Submitted by Owls are A-Holes on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:55pm.
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:51pm.
Coz she is ,white,flaky and soggy like a fishstick. I mean look at the photo ese!
I think Ted Casablanca coined that name.
"It is so different from the United States..."
Um, is it me, or did this supposedly well cultured asshole just imbue the entire United States with one state's characteristics - namely NY. While I like NY and she's right about the rushing THERE, can she step outside of her limited, privileged, pretentious little box for 5 seconds to imagine that there are areas all over the country that value history, live life in the slow lane, value family time and where the people even purposely DON'T take a fucking blackberry everywhere? (as I'm sure she does). Shit, has this woman even been to the South at all? Not that every thing is peachy there - nowhere is perfect - but if you want to see some life-livin', slow-lane lovin', porch-sittin, family time and culture simmerrin' peeps, try hangin' in New Orleans sometime, for example! Sit under a damn oak tree on some pappy's porch at his 1890 built historically designated home on Magazine, sip on an old-fashioned, have a damn conversation with someone and pull the branch out of your ass! You know, I see this asshole want to be another new-age Martha Stewart so bad and although her husband issues may be putting her well on her way (yep, the tour IS a getaway - I would too!), at least Martha actually acknowledges societies outside of NY... okay by stealing their ideas, but it's something!
PS - why in the hell is she looking for a 500 BC building in the US anyway? Can someone just take her citizenship card (if she still has it) and flush it down the toilet? All this hag does is complain about the US.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:58pm.
Submitted by UKer on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:54pm.
ok everyone thanks for the laughs, I don't actually give two fucks about the UK and quite frankly I'd rather be living in California than in London if I was being honest, but until I find someone stupid enough to marry me, I'm stuck living in Europe for a while yet....
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Try Jennifer Aniston. You get marriage and cali.
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LMAO.
Submitted by magnificent_G on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:53pm.
Weird! I'm watching X Files on Virgin right now! Mag G is soooooooo gorgeous! :)
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Yeah El B.,
Limey Bastard! Learn something about England before you start spouting British stuff!!! - Clarrrrissssee
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:52pm.
well some of their culturally significant places did belong to the Moors.
America's welfare people shoot each other and end up in jail.I'd rather hang out with bunch of 'relaxed' unemployed bitches than get shot by wired ones.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Obsessa on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:46pm.
What a pretentious fucking bitch. First off, she can't act like she was born of european descent when she was fucking born here in the good ole' USA. Who do these cunts think they are? It's just like a fake, plastic knock-off Louis Vuitton purse trying to pass off as authentic at a Chanel fashion show.
REAL european women are smarter, sexier, healthier and have way more tact and class than this piece of shit.
I'm first generation american, and I have more fucking euro in me than this cow, and I surely don't think they're culture is better because their architecture is preserved. Of course they have more history, America is still young. It doesn't mean our family values are any less.
I hate this bitch.
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wow for a first generation american you sure sound classy, don't you?
Submitted by Poopele on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:55pm.
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:26pm.
shhhhhh. poopele don't tell em that socialism is a giant ponzi scheme. its funny to see them speak so confidently about it XD
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"Why would I love a couch?"- Joe Guidice
Submitted by UKer on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:54pm.
ok everyone thanks for the laughs, I don't actually give two fucks about the UK and quite frankly I'd rather be living in California than in London if I was being honest, but until I find someone stupid enough to marry me, I'm stuck living in Europe for a while yet....
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Try Jennifer Aniston. You get marriage and cali.
Submitted by UKer on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:54pm.
ok everyone thanks for the laughs, I don't actually give two fucks about the UK and quite frankly I'd rather be living in California than in London if I was being honest, but until I find someone stupid enough to marry me, I'm stuck living in Europe for a while yet....
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Buh bye!
TEAM EUROPE.
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Yeah El B.,
Limey Bastard! Learn something about England before you start spouting British stuff!!! - Clarrrrissssee
Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:44pm.
I love old buildings you know and stuff.
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Like omg! me too, but they have to be like uh really really really old and stuff. Ya know?
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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:26pm.
Spain is a beautiful country with a relaxed realistic LIFE that involves FAMILY and Friends, 3 hour siestas daily, gay marriage is legal, healthcare is socialized medicine that works, people are much slower in their pace of life as compared to NY'ers and their kids arent raised by Grand Theft Auto & myspace.
Unions are demanding a 400 euro a month payment for up to 1 million workers whose dole has run out after Spanish unemployment hit 18 percent in April, by far the highest rate in the European Union.
The new unemployment payments will swell Spain's soaring public sector deficit after Bank of Spain warnings the government has run out of room for emergency spending and risks paying higher credit risk premiums
The European Commission expects Spain to be the last European Union economy to exit recession, probably in 2011. Analysts fear it could face further sovereign credit rating downgrades without urgent action to curb public spending and borrowing.
...so much for your socialist utopia you half-witted craphead.
Submitted by magnificent_G on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:53pm.
But being a TOURIST and LIVING in a country are 2 different things! As a tourist you only see the nice things: the sun in summer, the great food, people having fun. You can't notice (generally speaking) the rudeness, the bad quality of tv, the increasing level of censorship, the unemployment, the bureaucracy, the racism (sometimes towards foreign tourists too).
Nice restaurants make your life better, but life quality depends on other factors.
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SO EFFING TRUE!!!
Visiting a resort or hotel and eating out at restaurants every night is NOT having the true experience of actually being a citizen of a country...
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*you've been far awaaaay. When I see your face my hearts burst into fire*
*Dont think too much just bust that thick*
double post
OMG EH I can see Corp. Choker's sexy knees!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:51pm.
Coz she is ,white,flaky and soggy like a fishstick. I mean look at the photo ese!
I think Ted Casablanca coined that name.
''Oh my God! Bear's Driving! How can that be?!''
What a fucking asshole. Obviously she's never seen the buildings in Manhattan that date back to the 1600's. TAKE YOUR LISP, YOUR BAD ACTING AND YOUR WIMPY HUSBAND AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF AMERICA, JERK.
I agree with you guys – if I could live in Europe, I so would. Just came back from Portugal and the quality of life is so much better than here in New York. One day I really hope to live there, especially as someone who is getting laid off and will not have health insurance! Most European governments have better morals than ours – free health care for all citizens. It’s not about making large corporations richer. I am so sick of the greedy, materialistic aspect of American culture (and I’m American!). It makes me sick. Can’t stand Gwyneth Paltrow, but I partially agree with her.
Submitted by Notoriousrem_22 on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:39pm.
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:26pm.
as much as I cant stand this fanny , she is RIGHT.
Spain is a beautiful country with a relaxed realistic LIFE that involves FAMILY and Friends, 3 hour siestas daily, gay marriage is legal, healthcare is socialized medicine that works, people are much slower in their pace of life as compared to NY'ers and their kids arent raised by Grand Theft Auto & myspace.
Im in complete agreement with her fishy ass and I was living there just @ a middle class level , it really is a paradise when you are paid like this nunnymuggin.
I lived there from Nov'01- March02and it was the most wonderful Xmas I ever had, ALL stores/ businesses were shut for 5 days so everyone could have time off and enjoy the holidays. Imagine that happening here in cash grubbing / materialistic America.
sure, its not perfect, there are problems in Spain too, welcome to the world , but "life" in America, just aint cutting it for me anymore. NO vacation time, no time for family , working 2-3 jobs to live or buy shit that you dont need, guns everywhere ,its about to crash and burn people..
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Thank you. And the people who don't realize this just simply need to get around more. America is a fast track to death and hell, look at the statistics on cancer and other stress related diseases. Take note to how we have more cases of these diseases then most European Countries combined.
And noudidnt say 'Grand Theft Auto and MySpace' LMAO. So true its scary.
reply • report abuse
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ok everyone thanks for the laughs, I don't actually give two fucks about the UK and quite frankly I'd rather be living in California than in London if I was being honest, but until I find someone stupid enough to marry me, I'm stuck living in Europe for a while yet....
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:52pm.
Spain kills bulls, assholes.
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I never liked that.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:49pm.
hey GOOPY yo quiero Taco Bell!
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Mmmmmm...mexi-melt!
Authentic mexican indeed!
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*you've been far awaaaay. When I see your face my hearts burst into fire*
*Dont think too much just bust that thick*
I always hear people squealing enthusiastically about how great it must be to live here in Italy, because they spent 2 weeks some time ago and it was wonderful etc etc.
But being a TOURIST and LIVING in a country are 2 different things! As a tourist you only see the nice things: the sun in summer, the great food, people having fun. You can't notice (generally speaking) the rudeness, the bad quality of tv, the increasing level of censorship, the unemployment, the bureaucracy, the racism (sometimes towards foreign tourists too).
Nice restaurants make your life better, but life quality depends on other factors.
Submitted by xerquina on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:49pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 1:45pm.
have you been living in a hole the last 8 years? =D
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Bush got nuthin' on Generalissimo Francisco Franco! That's why spanish peeps like to be in the streets. Franco made it illegal to gather in groups in their own homes. Fascista!
Europeans drive on the left side of the road and use the metric system....YUCK! They have old buiildings cause they peaked 300 years ago, o yea i went there europeans
Doesn't Spain have a 30% unemployment rate? People are relaxed cause they are all on welfare! Where dooooo they find the time to hit up the corner espresso shop?
Spain kills bulls, assholes. No matter, spain will be hearing prayers from the koran over town speaker systems in 30 years....
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"Why would I love a couch?"- Joe Guidice