One Of The Jonas Brothers Is Finally Going To Get His Cherry Popped
Kevin Jonas has announced that he is engaged to a man trying to pass as Haylie Duff his girlfriend Danielle Deleasa! Dude is going to have a dick boner until his wedding night. Unless, this is "the gay" one. If that's the case, then his ass lips won't stop quivering until his wedding day, because he will finally a cover-up that will allow him to go frolic amongst the peens!
People says that Kevin proposed to Danielle this morning at her house in New Jersey (DUH). Kevin said, "It was tough performing last night, knowing that I was going to ask the biggest question in my life to the most amazing girl in the world. She said yes, yes, yes like 500 times super fast in a row." 21-year-old Kevin and 22-year-old Danielle met two years ago in the Bahamas.
Congrats to these two little lovebirds. Hopefully, Danielle can teach Kevin all about the importance of eyebrows. Kevin's virgin caterpillar brows desperately need to be "PLUCKED!"
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He looks like he has a small yet plump pecker.
Ew.
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Moo!
HEY! Who wants to chase the muthafuckin ball?!
Figures the fuggiest one would go first. The middle one's waiting for the right moment to get caught face down in a public bathroom, no doubt...
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There's the door, spaceman.
Submitted by mharker on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:38pm
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Was I your maid of honor?
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I don't know, did you get falling-down drunk and puke your guts up at my reception? :P
Hope she doesn't have too high of hopes for the wedding night.
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"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't stop her from throwing a glass of vodka at it" DEB
I don't know the name of the song, but is nothing to be proud of... really.
...I'M FREAKING OOOOOOOUT! Damn.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
oh then that's even better, today I read where TS was saying all her songs are about people she knows...
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
thanks Sug!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:35pm.
Submitted by mharker on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:33pm.
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Oh Lordy, do we know each other?
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Was I your maid of honor?
I hope his peen isn't as pastey as his neck. Bleh!
I too thought that was Haylie Duff.
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Prostitution whore!!
She looks like Haylie Duff.
BTW, "Paranoid" is allegedly about Taylor Swift.
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Moo!
Love me cancerously
Like a salt-sore soaked in the sea.
'High maintenance' means
You're a gluttonous queen.
Narcissistic and mean.
Kill me romantically.
Fill my soul with vomit,
Then ask me for a piece of gum.
Bitter and dumb;
You're my sugarplum.
You're awful, I love you!
(Chorus)
She moves through moonbeams slowly
She knows just how to hold me
And when her edges soften
Her body is my coffin
I know she drains me slowly
She wears me down to bones in bed
Must be the sign on my head
That says, oh...
Love me dead!
Love me dead!
You're a faith-healer on T.V.
You're an office park without any trees
Corporate and cold
Gushing for gold
Leave me alone.
You suck so passionately
You're a parasitic psycho, filthy creature
Finger-bangin' my heart
You call me up drunk
Does the fun ever start?
You're hideous and sexy!
(Chorus)
She moves through moonbeams slowly
She knows just how to hold me
And when her edges soften
Her body is my coffin
I know she drains me slowly
She wears me down to bones in bed
Must be the sign on my head
That says, oh...
Love me dead!
Love me dead!
Rawl! Uhng!
Love me cancerously.
*whistles*
Brrrot-dot-da-d-da-da!
Brrrot-dot-da-d-da-da!
How's your new boy?
Does he know about me?
You've got the mark of the beast.
You're born of a jackal! You're beautiful!
(Chorus)
She moves through moonbeams slowly
She knows just how to hold me
And when her edges soften
Her body is my coffin
I know she drains me slowly
She wears me down to bones in bed
Wha' 'bout that sign on my head!
That says, oh...
Love me dead!
Love me dead!
Love me dead!
Love me dead!
Oh... Love me dead!
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''Oh my God! Bear's Driving! How can that be?!''
she looks like a young julia roberts.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:35pm.
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:32pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:30pm.
LMAO tell me the name of the song, I want to steal it off Limewire tonight when I go home, I need to hear one of their songs...
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"Paranoid".
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Moo!
LEAVE FORD FOCUSES ALOOOOONE, LMAO
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:32pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:30pm.
That's why my ex is still my ex
I'm running all the background checks
And she's freaking out!
Ugh. I hate that I know the words.
THAT IS THE ONE I WAS SINGING!!! :(
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AHAHAHA! BOOYAH!
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Moo!
Submitted by mharker on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:33pm.
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Oh Lordy, do we know each other? Haha, that is so close to my situation at the time it's scary! All except the lesbian part--- not that there's anything wrong with that. :)
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:32pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:30pm.
LMAO tell me the name of the song, I want to steal it off Limewire tonight when I go home, I need to hear one of their songs...
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
who cares!
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
IS GETTING A DIDLO SHOVED IN YOUR ASSHOLE REALLY CONSIDERED "POPPING YOUR CHERRY"???
LOL@ Aubrey04*** And that is one sweetass Ford Focus!
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:24pm.
Not many 21 year-olds know their arse from a hole in the ground, let alone have enough sense to get married.
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So true. I have a friend who got engaged 3 months after she met the guy, married at 20, and got divorced within a year. He ended up verbally abusive and she realized she's a lesbian. 20 wasn't that young a few decades ago, but I remember reading a recent statistic that people who married later are less likely to divorce.
Know who you are before you commit for life, people.
Wouldn't it be easier, and less costly in the long-run?...if he just sowed his wild oats now...rather than being forced to get married at such a young age, and then having to split his income among this gal and however many children she's planning on having to cement her gravy train.
Evidently, these purity rings are resulting in earlier and risky marriages for the guys. Better to just have a simple one-night-stand and avoid the legal fees and child-support.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:30pm.
That's why my ex is still my ex
I'm running all the background checks
And she's freaking out!
Ugh. I hate that I know the words.
THAT IS THE ONE I WAS SINGING!!! :(
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
With all the sadness, death, and negativity in the news lately, I can't hate on their engagement. Yeah, they're prob too young, but I wish them the best.
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Douchechill!
That's why my ex is still my ex
I'm running all the background checks
And she's freaking out!
Ugh. I hate that I know the words.
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Moo!
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:27pm.
Preggers *cough* *cough*...shotgun wedding *cough* cough*
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''Oh my God! Bear's Driving! How can that be?!''
Submitted by mike on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:22pm.
I'm quite proud to say I have never heard a Jonas Brothers song.
Me neither..or so I thought.. so a couple of night ago I'm listening to the radio while doing some homework and I caught myself singing a song... Iknew the lyrics, I did not know the singer... when the song ended the Host said..Jonas Brothers....I am so ashamed...
*hangs head in shame and puts herself in time out*
Edited cuz I'm retarded
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Engaged at 22, wedding date not set. Meaning they probably won't be getting married at their current ages. Not saying they aren't young, I'm just saying that it's not like he's 18 and she's 17 and her dad is standing there holding a shotgun.
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"I do believe in goats." - Johnny Depp
Hotmami, you got me beat. I got married at 20 and didn't even make it to my 3rd anniversary. What a dumbass I was!
Matthew Broderick and Kevin Jonas need to throw their fucking sideburns into a fucking incinerator. Christ! I fuckin' hate 'em!
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"If your horse dies, I suggest you dismount."
Submitted by Molly Mae on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:24pm.
All these little purity ring wearing goody two-shoes rush into marriage just so they can have sex. Someone should let them know they can do that without the marriage and inevitable divorce part.
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DEAD ON. Completely agree with you Molly Mae.
Wow. Junior golddigging. Bootiful! *dabs tear* They grow up so fast these days!
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Uh....yeeeeeeaaaaah. Getting married at 22 is really not a good idea, Jonas. I got married at 21, and less than four years later, am working on a divorce. You won't burn in hell for having premarital sex. And if you do, you'll have lots of company.
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I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!
He is UGLY. He is only getting married so he can get some ass. If bitch is smart she will get knocked up ASAP so she can get that cash money after they divorce.
Submitted by Rican35 on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:23pm.
Hope she doesn't get mad when he busts all over her wedding dress.
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BWAHAHAHA!
HA! I see they are following suit after the Hanson brothers before them - marrying young so that they can do the sexy and pop out the kiddies faster than you can say "I now pronounce you man and wife"!
I have on thing to say: PRENUP! Scream - We want PRENUP! Cuz if she leaves your ass - she's gonna leave with half..
What a dummy.. getting married that young. It won't last and he will end up paying her millions.. then in a few years the Jonas brothers will fizzle out like Hansen, NKOTB - the Bareback...errr.. Backstreet Boys.. and he will have to go on a reality show just to save his house and his Ford Focus!
If he wants to get laid that bad he should just go to a hooker. Not many 21 year-olds know their arse from a hole in the ground, let alone have enough sense to get married.
All these little purity ring wearing goody two-shoes rush into marriage just so they can have sex. Someone should let them know they can do that without the marriage and inevitable divorce part.
Also, she looks like Haylie Duff and you'd think she would've done something about his eyebrows by now. Ew.
Hope she doesn't get mad when he busts all over her wedding dress.
I hope she gags on his eyebrow hairs...! Nah, whatever...good for them...
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
Awww who cares?! He's not the cute one.
Beat Biter, Dope Style Taker... MC Lyte
This is what happens when people pledge to not have sex until marriage... how much do you want to bet after he realizes sex would be more fun with other girls, these two are splitsville?
Ahhhhh how cute.
I give it 2 years.
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she's working on "the Jodie Marsh nose"
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
LOL I see divorce and a Clay Akin style People magazine cover in their future.
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If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
I'm quite proud to say I have never heard a Jonas Brothers song.