Thursday, July 2nd 2009
The Photoshop Awards: Shakira's New Single Cover
They tell me this is Shakira, but it looks more like something you get when you rub Brit Brit and Sasha Fierce together. Actually, I think when you rub those two together you get pork grease, condensed labia leche and bronzer.
Shakira took a crash course in "How To Ho It Up To Sell Records" and I'm all for it. If the video is anything like this single cover then I can't wait to see what the glittery gays of YouTube are going to do with it. They better have an ice pack on their nuts right now, because their tuck game will have to be on point.
VIA ONTD



Hahaha, ISprained... exactly. A yodeling goat.
Oh, Christ. Now there's Shakiraloonies?
She sounds like a goat.
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
I LOVEEE SHKIRA AND I WILL ALWAYS LIKE HER!!!!
SHE'S 4 EVER & EVER & EVER
SHE SHE WOLFFFFFFF =DDDDD
Shakira is the BEST singer on the whole world!!!This is her new style,her new era,her year.Enjoy it!
Shakira is Shakira, and for us,for us,her fans,will be always the One and the Best and we will support and help her and will be whenever and wherever with her. And she know it and cause she love us and we love her. And that never can´t change some article on the Internet.
I know, we never can´t agree with all, what say the second, but ALL must agree with this, that Shakira made absolulety very much hard,really hard and amazing and fantastic work, and not only in music, but too as good and incredible great human and woman around the whole world. And especially in Colombia.
Shakira,we love YOU!!!
P.S Beware of She wolf!!!
First of all, Shakira is Shakira and she's got a name so even if she sung in jibberrish she would still be #1. Her reputation doesn't summon gliterry gays - this is offensive to say.
I remember with Hips Dont Lie & La Tortura when Shakira would change a lot from her old self that there would exist a LOT of drama, however even if Hips Dont Lie was #1 in bad critics because Shakira didn't appear as a domesticated girl as in past works it was THE MOST PLAYED POP SONG IN HISTORY.
The fashion today asks for bathing suits that's why Madonna and all these singers wear it. I am 99,9999% sure that Shakira wants to show her animalistic side. At least Shakira wears these outfits while she is a She Wolf and in a cage not as a casual outfit like Madonna and Lady Gaga LMAO.
Shakira is pretty unique. She has her own style and she always tries to avoid being vulgar or explicit in contrary to the ladies you have mentioned in your critic. Afterall it's apparent that you have only passed by the TV and saw Shakira hipshaking once and didn't see beyond that. You haven't heard her full artwork to understand who she is that's apprent. So you better get informed before you start making announcements with critics that aim only to hurt her beginning.
Girl looks good. Shakira has always backed up style with substance. Most who listen to all her work would likely agree. Good for her if she feels like letting the "She-wolf" out.
If the "Hips Don't Lie" Shakira is all you know, forget the accepted stereotypes of this woman. She's a lot more than meets the eye. Check out the "Pies Descalzos" foundation—one that she supports with massive amounts of her own money. Her character, not her hips, is her greatest asset.
Auuuuu!
yaaaaaaaaaaaa !!
Shakira is my Goddess !!
She is amazing in all respect of music & fun !!
Go Shaki goooooooooooooooooooooooooo !!
SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL OF YOU...
LADY GAGA AND OTHER ARTISTS DOESN'T COPYING NO ONE.SHAKIRA ALSO.EVERY ARTIST IS UNIQUE.AND THESE UNIFORMS,BACKGROUNDS,DANCE COREOGRAPHIES AND ETC IS JUST THE POPSTARS' FASHION OF OUR DECADE.
First of all Shakira is not copying any Gaga-Fierce-Britney girls....
She just changed a bit her style....Do you mean that no one can wear anymore bathing suits just because lady gaga or beyonce(who is a copycat herself) wore it before?
She feels in touch with her feminine(and animalistic) aspects and she's exposing that. She's more confident than ever and she has all the right to feel that way, as she is drop dead gorgeous.
Shakira is unique at what she does and she has millions of fans supporting her. This look perfectly suits the theme. 'She Wolf'
(btw she's blond since 2000...in case you say that she dyed NOW her hair in order to copy some divas)
I wouldn't have a problem with the leotard-wearing, except that everyone who does it, OVERDOES it. I think you can do away with an album cover or a music video or two without looking ridiculous, but lately (I'm looking at you, Lady Gaga...) it's ad nauseam. Yes, you have a nice ass. We fucking get it, now put it away.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
What are you going to do, suck me to death?
put some pants on dammit! this leotard craze is getting out of hand.
um and just wondering, what exactly is labia leche? it sound like the sort of thing paris hilton might be suffering with.
- <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 -
I think mastication means to chew your own penis...
I like the hair but eh she looks okay. I can't believe I'm gonna say this... but Stop Copying Lady Gaga!
What's with all these popstars wearing leotards or bodysuits, whatever they're called, with no pants? Gaga took it and she owns it, sorry but it's true. They all look like they're stealing her look when they do it.
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http://tryvindale.com/VrCLTVk1
She was actually naturally pretty and sexy, I dont understand why they would photoshop her to this extent, wtf was wrong with her before? I always liked her spanish stuff...and her body is incredible..., she moves pretty good too... I would lick her too Clarisse.
I used to like Shakira before... before she started to sing in English, when her hair was black and she didn't dress slutty, and her songs had meaning and were cool, but now they are just Blah! ...now she looks like one of those bimbo head "singers"... now she looks like a white version of Beyonce.... Shakira you need to go back to your roots!!!! AND WHEN IS THIS PANTLESS SHIT IS GOING TO STOP!?!?!?
angel_i,
Def maximum strength pheromones!
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Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 07/03/2009 - 11:18am.
angel_i,
True true! I was thinkin more like this...
http://mzablog.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/shakira.jpg
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Yes! Fucking hot! It's not just the way she looks either, its some kinda scent she gives off or some shit;p
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
angel_i,
True true! I was thinkin more like this...
http://mzablog.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/shakira.jpg
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all these pop "singers" are looking the same. nothing different. the title of the album ..wtf
I liked her music..but years ago...
Coma Caca!!
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 07/03/2009 - 2:37am.
You ladies don't think she's hot?? I'd lick her from navel to neck...and back! OY!
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I'm with you. Her REAL body, that is.
Actually, she's one ho who's sexuality doesn't bother me. It seems natural to her. And I guess cuz she used to Rock Out South American style back in the day that I always thought of her as a feminist. I see nothing wrong with a feminist being sexy - that's a big part of being feminine. We like to dress up and get looked at and men like to look at us...it's all good...she's seems grounded over all.
What bothers me is that they photoshop her personality right off her every time! And she lets them! I wonder if she's got a choice or if her other choice is to look for a new job...
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
am i the only one who thought of lady caca?
this pantless shit needs to STOP
I love her. You just made my morning!
meh...
most of them end up doing the same thing whether they can sing or not...
ftr, ive only ever liked one song by her which was the one she did with alejandro sanz; other than that im kinda weirded out by her yodeling stuff...
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Shakira, you're too good for this 'sex sells' crap. Ugh.
Why do talented women feel the need to objectify themselves to sell albums?
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Pull My Finger
I met my perfect one on --~~B l a c k W h i t e l o v i n g.c O m~~- It is a wonderful dating site for black and white singles to have fun together! And it's free! Hope it can help you find your ideal match!
At first glance I thought it was Daisy...
Soooooo....I guess Shakira's hips do lie.
That pix was Photo Shop within 1 inch of legal limit.
Actually, I think when you rub those two together you get pork grease, condensed labia leche and bronzer.
ROFL! OMG MK! That is so freaking funny! I can't stop laughing!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You ladies don't think she's hot?? I'd lick her from navel to neck...and back! OY!
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"(978): it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny ?"
uh, didn't madonna already do the whole leotard/heels combo a couple of years ago?
she is really hot. seems that she is hotter on ~~((((((sugarmommamatch.com ))))~~`
that is a free sugar dating club. she must go there to find
someone. i also saw her hot pics and videos on that web. unless you watch it, you won't
know how...she is.
She is hot.
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*Blondeface*
She's actually pretty, though.
Why do celebrities need to fux with shit that isn't broken?
I don't really know a whole lot about Shakira, but that weird yelping-yodel thing she does when she tries to show off her range, and her awkward rendition of "the robot" she does in her videos had always made me want to climb the Alps and watch Small Wonder.
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Work it, baby.
Good thing she's freaking gorgeous, because she can't sing (in English, anyway) to save her life.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
"I can't help it the kid was too short to reach my dials!"
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 11:09pm.
Submitted by speakit on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 10:46pm.
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 10:45pm.
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Were her breasts small and humble?
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Mwahahaha! Yes they were! Small and humble! Just like my first paycheck ever!!!
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My paychecks are still like that. I have hawt secsky latina paychecks!!
When I first saw this pic, a part of me thought "damn, looking hot, mami! Work that sex appeal!" and then the other, less slutty and more rational part said "Shaki is better than this, she is a true talent and does not need to stoop to the lowest common demoninator to sell albums".
Not sure which one wins, they will continue to battle until I see more evidence. If she appears in the video looking like this, the slut wins hands down!
I love the "she went through a crash course on how to hoe it up to sell records". Perfectly said, once again, MK!
Common sense is the genius of humanity - Goethe
Submitted by speakit on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 10:46pm.
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 10:45pm.
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Were her breasts small and humble?
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Mwahahaha! Yes they were! Small and humble! Just like my first paycheck ever!!!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
She looks better when she looks like she used to. Too generic, assembly line beauty now.
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 10:45pm.
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Were her breasts small and humble?
I met Shakira when her musical career had just begun. Sweet down to hearth gal. She looked very pretty with her black hair. This gal doesn't look like her at all. Don't get me wrong, she is still a good looking girl, but IMHO she looked better back then.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Those latina curvas she shouldn't hide! WTF! I mean that's what she's known for...dancing around bellydance style and shaking her hips. Why would they do this to make her look like the same blonde chick she clearly is not! Oh wait...yeah, MONEY!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
They better have an ice pack on their nuts right now, because their tuck game will have to be on point.
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HAHAHA.. I love trannies.
Submitted by paris herpes on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 10:25pm.
For some reason I thought Shakira's ass was bigger than this.
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It is! I noticed that way back in some cardboard Pepsi ad, totally caught my eye. Cuz I like her curves - but they were gone! *shockyface* ESCANDALO! Now I'm used to it *sigh*. It's so stupid cuz it's SO obvious when you see her live.
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by paris herpes on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 10:25pm.
For some reason I thought Shakira's ass was bigger than this. Like KardaASSian style you know? It's very meh lookin' here!
Usually the hips don't lie...except after phoyoshoppe.
Shakira vacillates between feminist and tramp. But las caderas no mienten.
For some reason I thought Shakira's ass was bigger than this. Like KardaASSian style you know? It's very meh lookin' here!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
I WANT SHAKIRA'S ASSSSSS!!!!
I like her music. Makes me dance.
So does this mean we get to be treated to more dumb fucking rap interludes in every song?
I think she's talented but I hate when artists do that odd phrasing and deep throated Alannis Morrisette crap.
i see that shakira is a member of the "no pants" club...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....