The Photoshop Awards: Shakira's New Single Cover

They tell me this is Shakira, but it looks more like something you get when you rub Brit Brit and Sasha Fierce together. Actually, I think when you rub those two together you get pork grease, condensed labia leche and bronzer.

Shakira took a crash course in "How To Ho It Up To Sell Records" and I'm all for it. If the video is anything like this single cover then I can't wait to see what the glittery gays of YouTube are going to do with it. They better have an ice pack on their nuts right now, because their tuck game will have to be on point.

VIA ONTD

Posted by: Michael K

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Photoshop Awards

Submitted by HotSlutOfTheDecade on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 9:35pm.

That might be her body but that sure isn't her face. Doesn't even resemble her unless she had major plastic surgery.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Submitted by Bare Naked Lady on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 9:18pm.

When I first discovered Shakira I thought she was great and I loved her look, then I saw her morph into this generic blonde pop persona who I couldn't even recognize. If you hadn't told me who this is, it would have taken me a long time to figure it out. I think she looks better as a brunette.

Submitted by starpoot on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 9:16pm.

What's up with all the female pop stars trying to look like the same woman?

Submitted by tharuffian on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:47pm.

ive always liked shakira..she must be listening to some dum ass man to make him money..sigh

Submitted by IT-IS-HOT-HERE on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:19pm.

Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman to have sugar daddy??

It is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services came out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.

such as --- http://www.SugarBabyMeet.com/---

it's the biggest sugar dating site for beautiful woman and rich man!

Submitted by stars101_sez_yes on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:18pm.

Submitted by Morbidosity on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:08pm.

I don't know. I think its media pressure and bad managers. I think turning her into a pop tart is only going to be bad for her career in the long run.

The same thing happened with Christina Aguilera she was best when she was in her Latin phase but then her managers just screwed everything up and made her into this overprocessed pop tartlet with the hectic makeup and catchy pop tunes and it just ruined her for me.

Shakira was this indie/ latin/ soul flavor person originally like a latin Tracey Chapman now shes becoming more Vadge like. Style over substance is going to ruin her

Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:17pm.

i like Shakira. i know nothing about her personal life...Nothing. which is probably why i like her. oh and her music ain't so bad either.

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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/

Submitted by illuminaupolis on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:12pm.

She has a perfect ass, there I said it. But man I sure liked her more when she was down to earth.

Submitted by Sibsi on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:08pm.

Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:57pm.

Your observation is right on. :) They are both from Lebanese descent. Shakira's last name is like Mebarak and salma is Hayek (of course)

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That's pretty cool that they have that in common and explains the resemblance.

Reading on Shakira now... is she still with that sleazy son of a corrupt politician? Her personal life sounds interesting, though can't find all the dirt at once!

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Submitted by zomay on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:57pm.

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I always report the posts, then a minute later there's another id created and more stupid comments, so reporting certainly doesn't help =\

I know it's just a mild nuisance, but some days I fucking hate it when they show up amidst interesting posts.

Yeah, I'm lazy and even the action of skipping a post annoys me.

Submitted by Morbidosity on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:08pm.

Submitted by stars101_sez_yes on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:01pm.

Now shes trying to turn herself into the Spanish version of Britney. She needs better managers thats for sure.

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And this is what I don't get at all. She has that sultry Spanish thing going on WHY would she want to trade that off to be just another poptart?

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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.

Submitted by stars101_sez_yes on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:01pm.

Submitted by Morbidosity on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:48pm.

Thats true she was all acoustic back then and not manufactured and shit. Now shes trying to turn herself into the Spanish version of Britney. She needs better managers thats for sure.

Submitted by zomay on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:57pm.

Sibsi, yea I don't get it either.

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Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:57pm.

Submitted by Sibsi on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:30pm.

Your observation is right on. :) They are both from Lebanese descent. Shakira's last name is like Mebarak and salma is Hayek (of course)

Submitted by Sibsi on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:55pm.

Submitted by zomay on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:33pm.

Help! I am a retard who spams you can meet other retards for free at www.spamsux.net

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Lol!

Oh and there's another retard who just spammed about a cougar site! Wow, I remember when they used to be all about the interracial love. They're diversifying for sure.

Ugh... what do we have to do to get these fuckers to stop doing this? Doesn't this blog have an anti-spam software built in its tools?

Submitted by Morbidosity on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:48pm.

Underneath your clothes..... one the best sexy times songs ever.

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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:46pm.

Shakira's always done this. I hate it. She doesn't need to.

♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20

Submitted by stars101_sez_yes on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:44pm.

shes becoming clownish and stupid now. Why is she trying to turn herself into a cheap version of Britney

Submitted by MelodySoul on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:40pm.

I gagged a little at "condensed labia leche".

Submitted by TITS on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:39pm.

I've overeaten and am too bloated to photoshop, so just picture in your mind shakira replaced by tigerlilly with blood on her mouth and fur.

Good eh?

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Michael Jackson was my inspiration. Love and blessings." Miley Cyrus on Twitter

Submitted by zomay on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:33pm.

Help! I am a retard who spams you can meet other retards for free at www.spamsux.net

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Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:33pm.

Shakira CANNOT sing. She sounds like a swamp creature on uppers.

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Moo!

Submitted by F-listed on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:31pm.

She is too young to go undercover and air brush. I can understand Madonna and Cher but why her?

Submitted by Sibsi on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:30pm.

Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:27pm.
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Ah, thanks.

It's a shame. She looked like she could be Salma's little sister in those pictures. Stunning.

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Submitted by MizRo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:26pm.

Peace out all. Be well.

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G'night, Mizro!

Submitted by Tripitaka on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:30pm.

Oh Shakira, go away and take Shitney and her two trannies Christine and Chestica with you. The time of the midget, blonde popsluts has come and gone. You're nothing special.

Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:27pm.

Did a google search...here's some pics of her from the olden days w/ black hair

http://www.angelfire.com/sd2/izzy/girls/shakira/dark/pics.html

Submitted by MizRo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:26pm.

The Beyonce-effect, Mk is spot on.
Peace out all. Be well.

Submitted by Sibsi on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:23pm.

You hoes know I value your opinions and all that, but I have to say I'm not on board with her looking generic as blonde. Then again, I don't know what she is like as brunette.

I'm getting a slight Bardot vibe on her face. In a different setting, it could have worked.

Submitted by Albatross on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:23pm.

I love Shakira, but that pic looks nothing like her!

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“Do anything, say anything, and fuck anything. No excuses, no apologies, no regrets.” --Brian Kinney

Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:22pm.

I don't hate on Shakira, bitch is HWATILENTE!

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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.

Submitted by nelvannya@hotma... on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:21pm.

Great she is hot... but we all knew that and we all loved her when she had the curly hair, all natural beautiful, still curvy yet not slutty fantastic Shakira

Submitted by Tatiana on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:20pm.

Aw, I like her. But, that ain't her real body on the cover.

I love the shoes.

Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:19pm.

Yep, that album cover says "I'm a talented singer, and not a talentless slut".

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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by pizza on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:16pm.

Nope. I think thats all her and she's fucking hot.

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The last guy that told me to have patience, I burned him down and bagged his ashes.

Submitted by MizRo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:15pm.

Mr. Mercury: that was the one! Awesome episode.
GiGi: cookie-cutter now...
It's like a factory: "just another brick in the wall" (Pink Floyd)

Submitted by LisaH on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:15pm.

yet again, a stripper who sings.

Submitted by zomay on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:13pm.

A blond lady in a cage with a bathing suit/leoturd outfit. TRAILBLAZER.

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Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:11pm.

Submitted by MizRo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 6:58pm.

yeah, she looks so generic now! I used to love her in highschool. I would play Pies Descalzos and Donde estan los ladrones religiously and sing like her.

She used to be so down to earth and accessible while being gorgeous. Now she just seems like another blonde off the pop production line

Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:10pm.

Submitted by MizRo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:06pm.
EVERYONE seems to go blonde in the music and movie industry: it's disturbing.
It's like that Twilight Zone episode with the people with pig-noses.

I loved that episode! It was called "Eye of the Beholder" and at the end the beautiful girl had to settle for a handsome man who was also considered hideous.

"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"

Submitted by Bag of Dirt on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:06pm.

Apart from the obviously blatant photoshop, that cover is just BAAAAAAD. Like.....some LP cover for some horrendous 1980s hair metal band.

Submitted by MizRo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:06pm.

EVERYONE seems to go blonde in the music and movie industry: it's disturbing.
It's like that Twilight Zone episode with the people with pig-noses.

Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:03pm.

HAHAHA, C Word! She's flying on her own.

Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:03pm.

Hips don't lie, but obviously Photoshop does.

"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"

Submitted by cuntygolightly on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:02pm.

hmm i miss the old chubby shakira...
what is with that leotard? i mean that's hot but that ain't her...

Submitted by rotten_egg on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:01pm.

When will this chick just drop the peroxide blond epic failure? I'm still waiting. Some women just can't sport blond hair, Shakira included.

And spot on, MK. She has been looking like everybody except herself. She's just another over-processed product to be sold in the north american market. Meh.

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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Submitted by The C word on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 7:01pm.

Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 6:55pm.
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ITA IG: it's the warble...like a Colombian Rita McNeil.

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If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

Submitted by MizRo on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 6:58pm.

GiGi: I was going to say the same thing about the 90's Shakira!! I'm disappointed in her if this is what she's become.

Submitted by Fame on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 6:58pm.

Come on now, she's had all those hits, like.... er.

Well done on the choice of picture, everyone knows the way to sell singles is to wear a leotard and put yourself in a cage. Just ask Vadge. Actually dont, the cage is a trap, she'll rip your limbs off and feast on your proteiny muscles.