Friday, July 3rd 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Amber Rose's Chia Pet Head
Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, so those of you that celebrate that shit should spend today preparing your liver and stomach for the fuckery that is to come. That's what I'll be doing all day (holy water colonics, etc....), so I'll only be posting here and there. This shit will return to its normal schedule on Moooonday. That's if I don't end up in the hospital after joining the legion of drunky dumb fucks who think it's really hilarious to stick a sparkler in your ass. Tempting....and completely possible.
Now I leave you with Kanye West's ballsack polisher, Amber Rose, outside of a club in Hollywood last night with some kind of fungus growing on her head. Stop the insanity!
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And btw, for 20 million, MJ could've had my present and future children, both kidneys, my gall bladder, and part of 1 lung. And I'll cook him a cheeseburger. With fries.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 1:03am.
swill with the best of 'em, best with the swill of 'em, that's what i always say!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 1:01am.
ESE did you see any of TV's MJackson jokes?? LOL! I is going to hell just for laughing at them!! TV's getting a promotion to Satans right hand man!
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This just in!
Official Employer Recordings of TV's phone conversations: Hello, it's me. (pause) At the desk. (pause) I know, what are you wearing? (pause) Haha...okay, we need to end this conversation, because I do not need to go to a seminar.
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 1:01am.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:58am.
no, seriously... i heard they're gonna melt down all his plastic into legos, so little children get to play with him for a change
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Their parents aren't going to pocket the customary 20 million that way.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 1:02am.
DUCK!!... 'eh, fuckit!... let's hunt Elmer!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:12am.
... hi, all!... what are we into tonight?
I'm drinking Merlot (with red berry & chocolate flavours) so the label says.
**SWILL**
@ESE:
What?! Nope. No dead freaks around here!
I don't know why someone would say that!
@TV: Schools. Out. For. Summer!
I was thinking the same thing.
@M2C: See above:)
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:57am.
School's out, wabbit season transitions directly into troll season.
.........
*high fives*... next time I see one I'm gonna call out "ZOMG!! Look over there!! It's the Jonas Brothers!!!". Should at least keep them distracted for 30-45 minutes.
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wabbit
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:58am.
no, seriously... i heard they're gonna melt down all his plastic into legos, so little children get to play with him for a change
-----------------------------
"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:57am.
of course you know, this means war.... duck season!!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:54am.
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
In other news, and don't quote me on this.. but I heard, and it may not be true, but i heard that Amy Winehouse likes drugs! *shocky face*
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:54am.
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:40am.
Just Another Day on DListed:
......
Haha! I noticed some troll activity here recently, stirring up shit and trying to get people to fight. Why do they do it? Are they really that bored/lonely? Makes me want to cut a troll!
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School's out, wabbit season transitions directly into troll season.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
o.k.... so, i heard this rumor... not sure if it's true... haven't seen anything to back it up, but, uuummm.... i heard Michael Jackson died
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:40am.
Just Another Day on DListed:
......
Haha! I noticed some troll activity here recently, stirring up shit and trying to get people to fight. Why do they do it? Are they really that bored/lonely? Makes me want to cut a troll!
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nite, Dee
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
see ya, DeeDee!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
ESE- This is what I'll be seeing tomorrow night with mah two favorite hookahs!
TV- You din't waste the side-eye. Just think of it as practice for the next Vegas trip.
And with that, I'm out. Goodnight Dlisters ♥♥
Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:38am.
wait, I wasted a side-eye?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:40am.
that's what i like to see... even if it is double vision!!LOL!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:29am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:26am.
if i can go, you get to gamble vicariously through me... then you will truley know what it feels like to lose your soul!LOL!
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Ha! My friend took me gambling once and showed me that! He had a good time, tho:)
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:33am.
*crosses fingers* I'd rather Mariah that bloody Angie... you know Mariah's medicine cabinet is full of GOOD party drugs. Me is askeered of heroin!
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Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:38am.
I will just for you ESE!
This one should have another title:
Just Another Day on DListed:
Then How Can I Be a Jerk Off, Brainiac?
Man #1, annoyed at being pushed: You don't have to push!
Man #2: Well, it was really crowded.
Woman: Welcome to New York!
Man #1, to woman: Your mother!
Woman: That's mature! What are you, in the 5th grade? Grow up, jerk-off!
Man #1: Suck my dick!
Woman: You don't got one, honey!
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:36am.
You are a lucky son-of-a-bitch because Nitty and her hubby just went to bed.
Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:34am.
DeeDee!!!... it's technically the 4th... you gonna put my favorite drunken elephant up or what?!?!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:34am.
I won $1700, she offered to father my children. *eyes Nitty's hubby nervously*
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:27am.
I like living dangerously...
*blows unicorny rainbow Hello kitty kisses*
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Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:26am.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:24am.
I just gamble vicariously through Nitty, it's like coming home showing a profit, comparatively.
_______________
I won $13.50 in Vegas and Nitty still hounds me for advice.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:27am.
Or My2 is getting adopted.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:26am.
if i can go, you get to gamble vicariously through me... then you will truley know what it feels like to lose your soul!LOL!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:24am.
hi, rainbow pooper!!!
... i think i'm about to get sued by Mariah Carey for calling you that!LOL!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:24am.
I just gamble vicariously through Nitty, it's like coming home showing a profit, comparatively.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:09am.
Sandybiotch!!! What are you doing January??
Hai ESE!!
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Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:22am.
possibly... if my empty pockets fill up by then... i'm gettin' drained here... and not in the good way!!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:19am.
Sure, everyone wants the Bettys. Btw, dlisted gathering in Vegas in January, you in?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:17am.
save me some Bettys! you can have all the Wilmas!.... uum... we'll split the Dinos!
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Howdy, ESE! We're all going to Nitty's house for cake, potatoes, vodka, and Flintstone vitamins!
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:10am.
Rodrigo isn't allow to use the computer.
"I love a parade,the tramping of feet,
I love every beat I hear of a drum.
I love a parade, when I hear a band
I just want to stand and cheer as they come.
That rat-a tat-tat, the blare of a horn.
That rat-a tat-tat, a bright uniform;
The sight of a drill will give me a thrill,
I thrill at the skill of everything military.
I love a parade, a handful of vets,
A line of cadets or any brigade,
For I love a parade."
... hi, all!... what are we into tonight?
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"I've come here a thousand times,
some things never change.
Lay me down...take me away.
Oh God... I'm so damn tired."
Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:06am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:04am.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:01am.
As usual, the absence of swim trunks has done me in. I apparently never learn.
_________________
Don't worry. No one missed mine last night. ;)
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Least of which is the guy who currently has them up on ebay. I'm not buying now because I need a snack first.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Who said POUTINE? I swear my gallbladder just quivered.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:04am.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:01am.
As usual, the absence of swim trunks has done me in. I apparently never learn.
_________________
Don't worry. No one missed mine last night. ;)
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 07/04/2009 - 12:01am.
As usual, the absence of swim trunks has done me in. I apparently never learn.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 07/03/2009 - 11:57pm.
Submitted by DeeDee on Fri, 07/03/2009 - 11:53pm.
Yeah, like I could lose any respect for Nitty!
Wait, that came out wrong.
Love you bitches, hijacking a plane to Tejas in the am, dying with jellusy!
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No hijacking required. Just pack all vodka and a pair of swim trunks. Also, learning a few role playing cyber game terms would be a huge plus for the hubby. Of course, we might expect you to cook, but the general consensus around here is there can never be enough cheese.
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
This bitch is sexy as hell.
You know I'm bad, I'm bad! Shamon! You know it!! hee heee!!!
-love you always, MJ!
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 07/03/2009 - 11:55pm.
ok, now you're mixing dessert with alcoholism and just toying with my emotions.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by DeeDee on Fri, 07/03/2009 - 11:53pm.
Yeah, like I could lose any respect for Nitty!
Wait, that came out wrong.
Love you bitches, hijacking a plane to Tejas in the am, dying with jellusy!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 07/03/2009 - 11:46pm.
*drools* and for dessert... take one Tim Tam (or chocolate teddy bear or whatever choc cookie you Merkins eat) and a White Russian. Bite a corner off each end of the Tim Tam and use as a straw to suck the alcyhole drinky.. then eat cookie! Choc coma-licious!!
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