NW Is Trying To Kill Kristen Stewart!!!!
Australian tabloid NW (aka The Bible of Truths) is in SHOCK, because Kristen Stewart has a BABY!!!! in her womb. And the BABY!!! belongs to the Unicorn Forest Prince himself...RPATTZ! Their proof? They think Kristen's Bud and bud bloat is actually a baby bump! Also, some source (aka the NW intern who was chilling out with the stoned wallabies at lunch) claims Kristen asked a friend to buy her a pregnancy test at the drugstore, because she didn't want to be photographed with that shit in her hand. Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock.
Kristen is in danger girl, because the mob of crazed horny Twitards will get her for this. Kristen's only supposed to be pregnant in fake life! Their the ones who are supposed to have RPattz's babehs in real life. Not Kristen! That's just fake life. That's not real!!!!
The only way we'll know if Kristen is in fact pregnant is if a rhinestone-encrusted baby eats its way out of her stomach.
VIA ONTD
Poor poor bitch, from size 00 is up to 2 (in her fat days of course). That belly is from drinking beer and smoking weed or just PMS related. Who knows?? that bitch is always hating the world, the only times that she has some emotion is when the dazzling Magical Forest Prince is nearby, she almost seems normal, of course that only means that she needs a good ride in the Prince of the Unicorns Happy Train- Express or just hitting it on a weekly basis..
I am just a bit curious..the magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported his profile was found on the famous free dating site ~~~ sugarmommamatch.com~~~last week and he uploaded many photos there. wow, he want to find a cougar there?
NW makes up most of its stories, it's pretty trashy. Kristen Stewart is not pregnant, just pudgy and unfit.
But, if Twihards ever managed to get past their parents internet filter to read ths site, I don't think they would even bother to read whole the story. One look at the cover and Kirsten would be hunted down by a pack of them.
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My dog: the original wonk eye.
Ha Ha Ha I read this magazine all the time. There is only about 1% truth in it. The picture doesn't even look like Kstew. She is tiny but those pants must be tight.. Maybe she had some taco's or somethig..
WHO?
YOU ARE H A L E R I O U S!!!!!!!! :)))) I love it!
I was wondering when one of these stories would emerge. First off, that pic looks incredibly photoshopped. Second, this chick is no bigger than a size 4 in real life, and I highly doubt the costume people would have stuck her in leather pants without some Spanx underneath to control bloat.
BorgQueen oh yes, it sucks royally. Among other things *spoiler spoiler* Bella gets knocked up with an "impossible" vampire mutant baby who grows uber-fast, breaks her spine and makes her drink blood. And when she goes into labor she starts barfing blood and Edward has to RIP MUTANT BABY OUT with his TEETH because the placenta is marble-hard (?!?!?!?!). So he turns Bella into a vampire, and she turns out to be the Mary-Suest vampire ever with a "love shield," a supermodel body and more self-control than anybody else.
Vampires apparently can't have sex without massive property damage. Oh and Bella gets to tell her parents about her being a vampire so everything is perfect and there's no personal sacrifice.
Oh yeah, and it turns out that mutant vampire baby is Jacob's soulmate, and the REAL reason he was so nuts about her was because she'd spawn his creepy demonchild fiancee. Nothing like implied pedophilia to say "troo love!"
The best part of the book, honestly, was all the unintentional homoeroticism ("I broke the headboard," indeed, hee hee!).
For a vampire fix, try "Moonlight" or "Blood Ties," or try the Dresden Files for some awesome vampiries,
Race, I assure you that I have nothing at all against homosexuals, and if I have said anything to make you believe otherwise allow me to apologize right now! I was just commenting that the chemistry in the film did not seem believable. The Lord accepts everyone, we are all God's children.
Submitted by Walrus Talk on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 2:31pm.
Submitted by LunaChick on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 2:27pm.
I watched Twilight, for the first time, yesterday. I cannot believe that a slow-paced movie, with such horrible acting, is as popular as it is.
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Not to mention the fact that all of the male leads seem to be flagrant homosexuals, my darling!
Do you have something against the gay community Walrus, because being a gay man, I have noticed a few of your posts today and they seem a little sarcastic in nature and I am getting a bit offended by them, Darling.
Submitted by LunaChick on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 2:27pm.
I watched Twilight, for the first time, yesterday. I cannot believe that a slow-paced movie, with such horrible acting, is as popular as it is.
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Not to mention the fact that all of the male leads seem to be flagrant homosexuals, my darling!
I watched Twilight, for the first time, yesterday. I cannot believe that a slow-paced movie, with such horrible acting, is as popular as it is.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
uf. next!
Tabloids never let celebs have a little bloat do they? Geez...it's actually kinda annoying...yawn, who cares about these people anyway?!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
Stupid tabloids, weird angles do not always equal pregnancy!!
She's not knocked up, just bloated.
"Kristen is in danger girl" made me spit my diet coke everywhere!
ISprainedMyUvula - I just got into the Twilight series tho I pride myself on not losing my mind
and becoming a Twitard but I have to say idk why Kristin Stewarts gets dogged the way she does in the smut rags. She is young and despite she has been working for a longtime, she is still humble, down to earth and hasn't let fame go to her head (or her nose ala HOHAN) or been photographed with her cooch hangin out. She's a pothead (which is a plus for me)& is prolly why she is so clumsy in real life.
Dementa- Does the 4th book sucked? I will be pissed if it does.
The series and True Blood have reignited my love of vampires since Anne Rice became born again and stop writing horror.
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Resistance is Futile!
I don't think she's pregnant. She's simply sporting the classic careless pornstar pose when they forget to suck it in while sucking because they forgot they were on camera and the jellyrolls are just there for everyone on the internet at 1am to see.
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Work it, baby.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
Ha! My friend picked up a bunch of old mags from December til now - the Enquirer, The Star, Us, etc....I flipped through the covers: George Bush is depressed and contemplating suicide, Jen A. is adopting a baby boy and getting advice from Brad, Angelina is pregnant again, Brangelina is breaking up, o yes and the great depression of 2009 was predicted in the Bible!...and that's just the few I can remember. I think I'll just wait and see how this plays out, tyvm.
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Wow, those covers are as craptastic as ours.
They even got the Shitneyese going on.
"IZ GITTIN' MURRIED Y'ALL DING DANG!"
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
So what if she's pregnant? It's not like she's going to have the baby.
I found a hot place, Sign up for FREE on ~~~http://tinyurl.com/rag432~~~~to find a rich and sexy woman.Come On!!
If this is true, then RPatz and Kristen Stewart are s-t-u-p-i-d. Three movies left in that series, fans waiting anxiously for all of them, they stand to make a fortune.
who? the photo looks fake..
"Blo, when Sean was doing lines off of your raggedy cooter lips while you were watching Pineapple Express and promised to put you in a movie with Seth Rogen when you said you've always wanted to do acting stuff with him, he didn't mean it for real."
For the story to be plausible, you'd have to assume RPattz has sex with females. Where's the evidence of that?
lol, you in danger girl! the clearance racks at hot topic are now deserted, lmao i nkow girls who look like that.
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
Um, why would ANYONE fuck that nasty bitch?
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
that kristen girl is so pale and unfit.a perfect match for greasy mcgreaster.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Im more interested in the "Im gettin married Y'ALL!!!" headline
hahahaha
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Or pretending to work their corporate job while playing on dlisted and rocking an Rpattz avatar. ;)
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*Blondeface*
Can't a girl have the PM bloat? Shit. Oh god, there's like an inch of chub so she must be preggers...
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"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't stop her from throwing a glass of vodka at it" DEB
Or pretending they aren't loonies while their kid watches The Jungle Book next to them.
*whistles innocently* :P
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
@ ISMU - *waves*. or they are in summer camp, or summer school.
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*Blondeface*
I'm kind of bummed that Twitards don't come here to defend her honor. But I'd imagine that their parents block a site like this because of content.
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
That picture of her in the unbuttoned pants doesn't even LOOK like her. That's a totally different person! Maybe a stunt double? Maybe a bloated NW intern dressing up and trying to make the story happen?
Submitted by dollyface on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 9:37am.
LOL! And poor Jen is STILL crying over Brad!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Yikes! You forgot to say "Spoiler alert"!
I mean, not that I got sucked in to that wretched series or anything. (clears throat and looks down nervously)
Deb, I so agree - Michael Jackson was MURDERED!!! hahahahaha
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The other headlines are better. LOL@ "I'm getting married, y'all!"
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Prrrlease... her gut over bagina looks big, but I don't think there is a baby in there.
Please, like she would be that careless...She probably has tons of work lined up, she is crazy insane popular right now which equals even more money, so I am sure she is not about to have any accidents ...she is totally on the pill.
maybe my brain is just programmed to see him everywhere now, but i thought that was a picture of bloated michael jackson.
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"F*CK OFF!" -- Harvey Yorke Price
many nice and single girls have a account on __C lassymingle C om___. so dont miss them. dont miss your classy lover!!
Yeah whatever. a bunch of twitard looneys for that guy. lol at the whole front page. "Jen's tears over brad..again" rofl!!
Coma Caca!!
Crap, you read that fourth shitty book? I think that monster baby WTFery scarred me for life.
And according to the tabloids, nobody ever gets PM bloat. You can gain up to ten pounds from that shit.
I can't stand this bitch. She fucking sucks.
i feel like my stomach resembles Kristen's today? Oh if only it were a baby friend, LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
I don't think she's knocked up. Looks like she's just got to take a dump.
RPratt just said he was waiting for the right girl or smething...and I dnt think their dating. This might b lawsuit time for Kristin.
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*you've been far awaaaay. When I see your face my hearts burst into fire*
*Dont think too much just bust that thick*
WTF is the weird dimple on the side of her bloat belly?
The only way we'll know if Kristen is in fact pregnant is if a rhinestone-encrusted baby eats its way out of her stomach.
AHAHAHAHAHAHHA! This is why I am sooooo glad I am not a celebrity. Eat an extra helping off the craft table and BOOM everyone thinks you are preggars. Lame.
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*Blondeface*