The Photoshop Awards: Brit Brit's Candie's Ads
If my little 6-year-old cousin handed me these pictures and said, "Look what I colored! And I stayed in the lines," I would totally believe her. I would also pat her on the head, give her a losing scratcher ticket (they don't know the difference) for a job well done and then immediately marinate my hand in a bowl of Purell. Kids have cooties. I would never guess that these are actual pictures taken with an actual camera. Photoshop fuckery to the extreme.
This is one of those "fuckit" jobs too. The hos at Candie's handed these pictures over to the Pshop artistes at 4:45pm on a Friday. They just slapped this shit together so they could hurry up and get to happy hour. Fuck, they probably did this job at happy hour. I mean, look at that white fence. Fences aren't supposed to look like that in real real. Although, the fence still looks better than Brit Brit's Kim Zolciak-approved wig. There's a tightrope...
And what is with Brit Brit's horse obsession? This is some Equus shit! Cheeto-uus!
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Who's going to buy anything endorsed by Britney, except Paxil?
Submitted by Kelly Taylor on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 11:01pm.
Kiwikim
You're a little overeager to prove your skinniness to an anonymous male over the internet. Yep, you're a fatty.
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I weigh 934 pounds and I have warts. So fuck you.
Submitted by Kelly Taylor on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 11:01pm.
Kiwikim
You're a little overeager to prove your skinniness to an anonymous male over the internet. Yep, you're a fatty.
******
Ha. Yeah, I'm dying to prove my worth to a guy that spends his days jacking off to a photoshopped avatar of a loser.
As soon as the photo shoot was over Britney scarfed down that whole table of pastries.
Nurse Jackie to the Psych Ward!
♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics
What happened to Candies? I remember their ads used to be really skanky and disgusting, like the one with Jenny McCarthy sitting on a toilet with her underwear around her ankles. But this campaign with Britney looks like something out of a "My Little Pony" cartoon for children.
Maybe their icky ads were getting complaints-I remember some magazines banned the Jenny McCarthy ads-so they changed directions, but I liked it better when they were icky. This "pink rulez!!!1!" thing is ridiculous.
Submitted by Kelly Taylor on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:51pm.
Submitted by get serious on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:48pm.
C'mon; get serious. This is SLUTney spears we're talking about here, after all. Those pictures are so fake it's hilarious. SLUTney hasn't looked good in YEARS...
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You have no idea how many loads have been and continue to be blown because of that girl. I've jerked off to the pic in your avatar. I'd bang the hell out of her any day and so would tons of guys. Bitches just love to be hatin on other bitches behind the safety of their computer as they eat Frito pie and tell themselves "Maybe I'll shave my legs tomorrow".
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So Jizz isn't keeping you satisfied?
Submitted by Kelly Taylor on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:51pm.
Submitted by get serious on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:48pm.
You have no idea how many loads have been and continue to be blown because of that girl. I've jerked off to the pic in your avatar. I'd bang the hell out of her any day and so would tons of guys. Bitches just love to be hatin on other bitches behind the safety of their computer as they eat Frito pie and tell themselves "Maybe I'll shave my legs tomorrow".
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Men pay meth whores for sex too. What's your point?
p.s. my legs are shaved and I haven't had a crisp sort of anything in years. I had celery and fruit from Whole Foods for dinner. Maybe you need to be imagining the girls on the other side of the type writer instead of the cheap photo shop job. You may have blown your wad over the avatar, but I think the point is you're not jerking off to reality-just a photo shopped picture of her. In reality, britshit is the one eating cheetos and drinking crap sugar from Starfucks and hasn't changed her bloody pad for years on her own, much less shaved her legs.
Submitted by Cara on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:34pm.
She still has dead cow eyes.
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This.
+ 1
C'mon; get serious. This is SLUTney spears we're talking about here, after all; the most brain-dead, leg spread, snatch flashing mental midget god has recently created. Those pictures are so fake it's hilarious. SLUTney hasn't looked good in YEARS...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
I can't even call this Photoshop...try "paint by numbers"...she doesn't look remotely like this. We all saw the pics from a couple of days ago. Stinky and sweaty, with a ratted out weave, and saggy boobs.
Submitted by get serious on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:48pm.
C'mon; get serious. This is SLUTney spears we're talking about here, after all. Those pictures are so fake it's hilarious. SLUTney hasn't looked good in YEARS...
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You have no idea how many loads have been and continue to be blown because of that girl. I've jerked off to the pic in your avatar. I'd bang the hell out of her any day and so would tons of guys. Bitches just love to be hatin on other bitches behind the safety of their computer as they eat Frito pie and tell themselves "Maybe I'll shave my legs tomorrow".
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:47pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:37pm.
LOL at pics. What is that hairy thang that Brit is holding?
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Dat's London, silly! Amember him? :)
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:37pm.
LOL at pics. What is that hairy thang that Brit is holding?
p.s. Didn't we just see Jordan doing a similar ad campaign not more than a few months ago? JORDAN! Page 6 girl. Jeez Britshit. You're clueless.
Could she look any cheaper? That brassy home dye job blonde hair? That cheap lace on the t-shirt? Does she not realize that she's working for the same company that hired Bristol Palin? She's over 30 with two kids and doing ads for a cheap clothing company and her peers are getting jobs with Louis V. She needs a serious image make over. And that hot hunk of man behind her is SO out of her league. He looks like he's bringing his horse over to the stable girl so she can clean up the shit.
And Candy's...what the fucking hell shit damn were you thinking hiring a girl that was photographed with a bloody pad hanging out of torn fish net stockings last year?
Submitted by moomarse on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:29pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:22pm.
Damn! I should have done this one first! Way easier!:
http://s733.photobucket.com/albums/ww340/angel_i13/?action=view¤t=...
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PERFECT!! I like her better with pink hair too.
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TY:) And she looks so much happier too:)
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
She still has dead cow eyes.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 10:22pm.
Damn! I should have done this one first! Way easier!:
http://s733.photobucket.com/albums/ww340/angel_i13/?action=view¤t=...
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PERFECT!! I like her better with pink hair too.
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
"I'm not sure what that sign meant."
From the looks of these photos you'd never think that she was once a bald, umbrella wielding, speeding down the freeway, giving up her kids, Frapp guzzling, cheeto munching, pap smuggling meth head.
Damn! I should have done this one first! Way easier!:
http://s733.photobucket.com/albums/ww340/angel_i13/?action=view¤t=...
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
hmmm she looks Zest fully clean!! I feel fresh!
hahahahaha
Coma Caca!!
many nice and single girls have a account on __classymingle.com___. so dont miss them. dont miss your classy lover!!
look, brit brit is still one of the prettiest girls going, and you all know it.
and what i appreciate is that candies did not airbrush her so that she does not even look human, and they did not make her grossly skinny.
can she NEVER get a break? is that the rule?
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The McCanns Did It
She looks so natural. Just a little lip gloss, maybe some blush, some Bondo....
Submitted by Kelly Taylor on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 9:54pm.
I want to see what you ladies all look like. From the sound of the comments, you all must be fine as hell, or you just talk mad game and can't back it up..
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
"I'm not sure what that sign meant."
Who's here? Did Deb hafta go? That took awhile...I was fixing Brit's pic!:
http://s733.photobucket.com/albums/ww340/angel_i13/?action=view¤t=...
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by Kelly Taylor on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 9:05pm.
And before the snide remarks begin, I meant with my penis.
....this sounds so wrong...Kelly? penis?
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New Kids On The Block sucked a lotta dick
Chinese food makes me shit
And it isn't fly when white guys drive by
In a Hummer, in a Hummer.
I want to see what you ladies all look like. From the sound of the comments, you all must be fine as hell, or you just talk mad game and can't back it up..
this looks like barbara mandrell making a comeback...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
She looks like an old lady.
Click. Flash. Pink. Trash. Valium. Eyes. Wow.
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I had a horse like that! He died because I gave him pink hay!!!
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"Don't fuck with me!"
"I thought I already did?"
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 9:18pm.
So, Candie's are white trash shoes, right?
Okay, because back in the day, the girls who wore Candie's also wore Jordache jeans and tube tops and hung out in the movie theater parking lot and put feathered beaded roach clips in their hair.
And back in the day, Candie's were platform shoes made of plastic that looked like wood. I DESPERATELY wanted some.
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I remember it well too - - I wonder why being a cheap slut (at least looking like one) was so desirable to young girls back then... like Sandy in Grease... "you better shape up... do-do-dooo"
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
"I'm not sure what that sign meant."
Submitted by F-listed on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 9:21pm.
She looks beautiful . Let's be nice. Brit has come a long way. We shouldn't break the spirit of people who are trying to find their right path. Do we?
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Apparently, you don't understand that this is the purpose of dlisted.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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She looks beautiful . Let's be nice. Brit has come a long way. We shouldn't break the spirit of people who are trying to find their right path. Do we?
So, Candie's are white trash shoes, right?
Okay, because back in the day, the girls who wore Candie's also wore Jordache jeans and tube tops and hung out in the movie theater parking lot and put feathered beaded roach clips in their hair.
And back in the day, Candie's were platform shoes made of plastic that looked like wood. I DESPERATELY wanted some.
Like this: http://retroland.com/pages/retropedia/fashion/item/3169/
I think she's still totally hot, i don't know why chicks are always hating on her. She's looking great since her crazy phase is over but I gotta say I'd have hit it back then too. I have this theory that women are still angry for how distracting she was to their men in her day when she was the hottest thing burning up the planet, and they love taking it out on her still to this day.
Submitted by Kelly Taylor on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 9:04pm.
At least this ad is having a good effect on someone! The makers of Candies are hoping guys will buy Candies for their girlfriends and then jackhammer them (with their penises).
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
@Deb-- it's the perfect quote for D-listed! ;P
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
God, she looks 40 in that pic. That chick from The Cougar look younger than her.
And before the snide remarks begin, I meant with my penis.
These pics could also use a touch of Cornify or Jenna Frank (google them).
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= ^ . ^ =
I would jackhammer this girl so hard.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:55pm.
How about pink hay? Remember those days? Sitting on the porch sipping Country Time pink lemonade? All natural goodness!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
@Grace Disful.
Thanks. It is one of Cholly's true gems, and he gave me permission to proudly use it! Words to live by, words to live by.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I have a white fence just like that on that stupid Farm Town game I play on facebook. WTF is this shit? Pink hay? That horse looks embarrassed as all get out.
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I'd consider following Jesus Christ if he were on Twitter.
MK I love you!
"and then immediately marinate my hand in a bowl of Purell. Kids have cooties".
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:55pm.
O my. Very nice. Let us see what we can do, shall we?
*slaps on latex gloves*
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*fingers drumming the desk impatiently*
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:51pm
Well, in this ad, I'd have to agree that the pink is not "soothing," especially worn by that fake gay jockey. All the photoshopping makes me picture Adnan's head photoshopped onto his body.
BTW I'll take this opportunity to tell you that your signature cracks me the hell up! Charles Manson. . .
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.