Jennifer Aniston Doesn't Want To Look Desperate
When Bradley Cooper told reporters that he was only friends with Jennifer Aniston, she immediately barricaded herself in her cookie dough refrigerator room (you know she has one) and devoured half of her inventory. Jenny apparently thought she was dating Bradley and was DEVASTATED when he denied their love. When Jenny broke into Bradley's home in the middle of the night by crawling into the air vents to confront him about it, he said that he only wanted to be fweeeeeeends. That's when she ate the other half of her inventory.
A source (aka Maddox, again) tells the National Enquirer (via Showbiz Spy), “It was a huge embarrassment for Jennifer — now she feels used an upset — her confidence has taken yet another knock and she’s back at square one in terms of dating. Jen was so happy to be dating Bradley. She saw him as a hot new guy who was finally a worthy replacement for John and Brad."
Jenny also thinks that by Bradley denying their "relationship" to the press, he has made her look desperate (which in Branganese translates into "Jennifer Aniston"), “It makes her look desperate — which is the one thing she dreads coming across more than anything else."
Oh, Jennifer! You could never look desperate. Yes, you make your fuck time partner jizz in a turkey baster instead of on your nalgas, but that's not desperate! That's being determined! Yes, you probably sent Bradley's parents an "I Can't Wait To Be Your Daughter-In-Law" card after your first date, but that's not desperate. That's kind-hearted! And yes, you've probably unofficially broken the Guinness World Record for staging the most faux-weddings with your stuffed animals, but that's not desperate. That's just pathetic....but kind of adorable (not really).
Here's NOT DESPERATE (I'm lying) Jen on the set of her movie The Bounty Hunter in New York yesterday.
ShareThis
Okay...We went to see "The Hangover"....Hysterical!!
*whispering* me nearly peed in my pants!
And...Bradley Cooper - HWAT!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Team Valtrex: She'd be way better off with YOU!You'd have to pretend to not love her too much, though.
This bitch is hot. I wanna look like her when I grow up. Angie resembles an anorexic clown nowadays.
************
Stop the love you save may be your own.
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 8:56pm.
EDIT: And also, she always picks men who are totally immature.
*******************************************
See!! I'm perfect!!!
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
In every relationship, there's one person who loves the other person more. One person has the upper hand. She's one of those women who is uncomfortable with a man really loving her, so she always picks douches who are in love with themselves. She's always the one who's more in love.
Not a good place for a woman to be.
EDIT: And also, she always picks men who are totally immature.
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 8:53pm.
In every relationship, there's one person who loves the other person more. One person has the upper hand. She's one of those women who is uncomfortable with a man really loving her, so she always picks douches who are in love with themselves. She's always the one who's more in love.
Not a good place for a woman to be.
************************************************
That's why she needs meeeee!!!!
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:33pm.
Bradley Cooper is a premature ejaculator who spends his entire lovemaking time apologizing for his inadequacies.
**********************************************
It's only premature if you don't have a ride home.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
@ "get serious"
--> how the hell do you know that she is a "insecure and neurotic woman" ? have you ever met her?
I dont know what all these put downs about Jennifer are. From how i have seen her conduct herself after the number Brad and then John Meyer did on her, she has managed to keep her dignity and has handled it all in a classy manner. The rest is all gossip and what others say/think of her. I think once again, this is proof of how beauty and charms and intelligence don't really matter all that much when it comes to finding the perfect mate and not dying alone.
I don't think people understand how hard that must have been on her. The end of a marriage is always sad. If you loved the other person and it didn’t work out because it was a one sided love and they cheated on you, it is even worse. But what is devastating is having to see him and the woman he cheated on you with and all their happiness paraded in front of you in the news media while you try to heal and put the pieces back together. At that point it doesn’t matter that you are famous, rich, and thin and pretty. Loss is loss- rich and thin, poor and fat.
----"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
As long as we can come over for drinks on Friday, TV ... what the hell ...
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
Submitted by girl_cheese on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 8:45pm.
Cool! I can be Deadbeat Dad of the Year!!!
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:33pm.
Bradley Cooper is a premature ejaculator who spends his entire lovemaking time apologizing for his inadequacies.
hahaha. And that's bad, right?
Invite us to the damned wedding, TV & then hurry and have a bunch of little TV's before her bio clock runs out. I don't usually like kids, but TV offspring I can get behind.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
My plan is coming together. Soon her standards will be low enough for me to have a chance.
*evil laughter*
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I just don't get this chick. She's cute, has a tight little body and tens of millions of dollars in the bank. Yet, she's the most insecure & neurotic woman, who apparently can't either attract or hold a man.
Jen, WTF is wrong with you? You should be drowning in dudes right now. There is NO excuse for your situation, other than you apparently being ultra self centered & extremely picky. Solution: GET OVER YOURSELF. Get out there, find a dude that makes you happy & GET A LIFE with him...
----------------------------------------
"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
True, Veggies. Double standard there. Men are ok single, women are pathetic. A dumb ass belief if ever there was one.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
I dont think she's desperate. she's ok and bland and seems down to earth personality. tired of hearing she's desperate blablabla. so funny how men can sleep around or date here and there, and then when a woman does it, we are whores. yeah whatever. move on. she should like cut her hair or something. do something different but oh well, I rather see her be an ok person than someone who keeps adopting to keep a man and looking like shit.
peace!
Coma Caca!!
This comes out, what like three months after their "date"? Time to hit the ignore button and move on! I thought the media was supposed to report the news...not, make it up...
================================================
the end...
Also: If Jen wants another nutless retard that can be trapped with a litter of children she can always call Jon Gosselin. She had Brad at his hottest anyways.
Jenny, honey...have you ever thought of lesbianism?
Whatever. She's rich and has a smokin' bod. Jenny's doing a lot better than a lot of fat unhappily married chicks out there. The media doesn't make Clooney (who's longest relationship was with a pig) seem like a lonely old has-been, yet they keep bringing up this 'lonely Jen' story. Sexist and stupid.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:20pm.
that is not true- there are pics of her in NY, and she goes to Mexico a lot. Maybe she doesn't like to travel much? I don't, so I can understand being more of a homebody.
------------------------------------------------------
Does she have a home or apt. somewhere else? If I had her $, I'd have an apt in NY and would be sampling different places to live around the planet. This might be one of the reasons she was incompatible with Bradley - he seems to travel around and she doesn't.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 8:04pm.
They canceled my act! Can you BELIEVE IT??? Yeah, instead they had his 'grieving daughter, Paris' up there! I mean, that's touching and all, BUT I was hired to rip the throat out of Joe Jackson spit it on the ground, piss on it and then devour him LIVE onstage...
*
You were wearing your pasties weren't you? You know how the tv people feel about jacksons and pasties.
frankly no one needs to see your 7 nips swaying in the breeze.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Desperate + hot = easy = hotter
Submitted by itsthebritneybitch on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:30pm.
Oh brother. Can't these guys come up with anything new? It's the same thing in every story about her. How about they write a story about her munching on Lohan's carpet or something. That would be more entertaining.
*
IT WOULD!
why can't we have stories like that????? *whine*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Submitted by zomay on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:47pm.
Tigerlilly on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:36pm.
Wake me up when JA does something of note...like a DUI, sex tape, double murder...Yeah, until then, YAWNVILLE...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She needs to pull a Demi and get with Shia Laboof STAT.
;D
:)
Tigerlily is back from her Vegas romp.
For a minute there I thought Tigerlilly was going to be performing at MJ's memorial.
******************************************
They canceled my act! Can you BELIEVE IT??? Yeah, instead they had his 'grieving daughter, Paris' up there! I mean, that's touching and all, BUT I was hired to rip the throat out of Joe Jackson spit it on the ground, piss on it and then devour him LIVE onstage...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Sad. *covering little sock monkey mouth* *impolite giggle*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I don't really care for Jen... I think she is a pretty one note actress and generally not that interesting.
However, the whole desperate Jen media schtick really is old. Who the fuck cares anymore. She seems happier than a lot of married couples, that's for damn sure.
She does have a smokin body, and I give her credit for not botoxing the shit out of her forehead (a la Courtney Cox)...whatever work she has had done is very subtle. I actually don't think her face looks much younger than her age, which is fine...might as well age gracefully. She should lay off the tanning though... I'm 23 and avoid the sun like the plague. I can't imagine tanning at 40.
i think Jen makes it too easy for pundits and media folks(and especially MK) i thought MK's constant Baster joke was a joke and not her actual movie.
------------------------
http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
who gives a fuck? i mean really
and whoever her publicist / pr whore / manager might be...someone tell her to stop fucking with her face, she's looking tranny in the mug
She needs to STOP trying to date actors. It’s obviously not working. Has she never heard the saying, “You don’t shit where you eat?” She’ll never escape the scrutiny of the media when it comes to her love life, or lack thereof. Because of her ex-husband and whats-her-face, she’ll always be under the microscope until the end of time. She could take some power away from this continuing, dumb story that gets rehashed every week by dating OUTSIDE of her industry.
@ The Breakdown: ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes
I don't have a Myspace :( so can I shoot you my email on here?
thehoustongirl AT gmail DOT com
:D
********************************
"I fucking drink beer and party!"
I survived Hurricane Ike!!!
O Jenny! You look hot. Get over it.
♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics
I love that outfit and the shoes!
*runs away*
Tigerlilly on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:36pm.
Wake me up when JA does something of note...like a DUI, sex tape, double murder...Yeah, until then, YAWNVILLE...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She needs to pull a Demi and get with Shia Laboof STAT.
;D
:)
Tigerlily is back from her Vegas romp.
For a minute there I thought Tigerlilly was going to be performing at MJ's memorial.
:D
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tristram on Sat, 07/11/2009 - 3:13pm.
...They grow up and attract douches so fast. *sniffling*...
Submitted by mike on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:31pm.
Submitted by No Words on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:26pm.
Plus, I swear to all of you...Bradley Cooper is gay. I don't think it is that big of a secret. I mean, come on...I know it.
I don't know Bradley Cooper outside of dlisted, but I think you're right. His "we're just friends" coupled with "she's a very interesting woman" convinced me.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Plus, his five-minute marriage to an actual beautiful woman...Jennifer Esposito.
What Tripitaka said.
And heeeeere loonyloonyloonies! ...
she should start dating Joe The Plumber.he sure looks like he can fix her cloggage.
------------------------
http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
The most desperate thing she has done is date John Mayer, an uberdouche and ex-of desperate transvestite Chestica Simpson, for gods sake. If she wants respect stop chasing after the douches!
Wake me up when JA does something of note...like a DUI, sex tape, double murder...Yeah, until then, YAWNVILLE...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
She is not worthy to boink B. Coop on a regular basis. In fact ... no one is. Except me of course.
But seriously, someone find this chick a non famous, non famewhore , normal guy for once and for all. She has terrible choice in men.
I'm not a fan of any movie she's been in (her appearance in "Office Space" was bland). However, I think it sucks tabs clearly make up stories about her. She's 40, divorced and childless is not a reason to make fun of her.
Now, her movie choices are worth laughing about. I don't understand how she gets roles. It can't be because of her acting and we all know her age is working against her.
Team Aniston (for this post only)!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by mike on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:31pm.
Bradley Cooper is a premature ejaculator who spends his entire lovemaking time apologizing for his inadequacies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moo!
Submitted by No Words on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:26pm.
Plus, I swear to all of you...Bradley Cooper is gay. I don't think it is that big of a secret. I mean, come on...I know it.
I don't know Bradley Cooper outside of dlisted, but I think you're right. His "we're just friends" coupled with "she's a very interesting woman" convinced me.
I think her problem is that she is so determined to stay famous that she keeps dating "famous" guys that she thinks will raise her profile, even though all the guys she dates are enormous douchebags.
And Jennifer, honey, just because you got on your knees and put your legs behind your head for BC a couple times, it does not mean you were in a relationship.
***********************************************
I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!
Oh brother. Can't these guys come up with anything new? It's the same thing in every story about her. How about they write a story about her munching on Lohan's carpet or something. That would be more entertaining.
If she were in fact desperate, she'd be dating outside the "fame pool". When we see her parading around a guy she picked up at the In-n-Out drive-thru (not that there'd necessarily be anything wrong with that...), then I might start to believe this desperate bs.
BULLLLLLLLSHIT. Only the celebrities that are dying for attention are photographed all the time. Not that I believe this story, but if she didn't want to appear "desperate" she wouldn't have her agent calling every paparazzi in town the second she steps out of a place. Not to mention that she goes to the places where paparazzi lurk. People who go to the "Ivy" and then hide in pictures are just pretending to want privacy.
Just look at high profile Beyonce and Jay-Z. Despite Beyonce having a big mouth she kept it closed about that and so did Jay-Z. The media would get pictures only occasionally and had a hard time getting any confirmation even after they married. Either Bradley Coopers agent or Jennifer's had him make a statement...it's one of those "any publicity is good publicity" type things. Though I don't think they every dated anyway, Bradley Cooper didn't have to make a statement, but he did, all about getting names out there.
I don't believe this story for a second...she's never appeared desperate to me. Now, "desperate" would be having one baby after another to keep a man. Plus, I swear to all of you...Bradley Cooper is gay. I don't think it is that big of a secret. I mean, come on...I know it.
I don't believe that story for a minute, another lie made up by the media..they went out to dinner once, I hardley think she was thinking long term committment..get a grip people!
Submitted by girl_cheese on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:18pm.
Y'know what's weird about her - she doesn't leave So Cal, ever.
---------
that is not true- there are pics of her in NY, and she goes to Mexico a lot. Maybe she doesn't like to travel much? I don't, so I can understand being more of a homebody.
*********************************************
“I can’t give any details, but it will be one of the most important moments in music ever.”
“I just sleep with the guys in the band all the time because it’s easier.”
- Lady Gaga