Jennifer Aniston Doesn't Want To Look Desperate
When Bradley Cooper told reporters that he was only friends with Jennifer Aniston, she immediately barricaded herself in her cookie dough refrigerator room (you know she has one) and devoured half of her inventory. Jenny apparently thought she was dating Bradley and was DEVASTATED when he denied their love. When Jenny broke into Bradley's home in the middle of the night by crawling into the air vents to confront him about it, he said that he only wanted to be fweeeeeeends. That's when she ate the other half of her inventory.
A source (aka Maddox, again) tells the National Enquirer (via Showbiz Spy), “It was a huge embarrassment for Jennifer — now she feels used an upset — her confidence has taken yet another knock and she’s back at square one in terms of dating. Jen was so happy to be dating Bradley. She saw him as a hot new guy who was finally a worthy replacement for John and Brad."
Jenny also thinks that by Bradley denying their "relationship" to the press, he has made her look desperate (which in Branganese translates into "Jennifer Aniston"), “It makes her look desperate — which is the one thing she dreads coming across more than anything else."
Oh, Jennifer! You could never look desperate. Yes, you make your fuck time partner jizz in a turkey baster instead of on your nalgas, but that's not desperate! That's being determined! Yes, you probably sent Bradley's parents an "I Can't Wait To Be Your Daughter-In-Law" card after your first date, but that's not desperate. That's kind-hearted! And yes, you've probably unofficially broken the Guinness World Record for staging the most faux-weddings with your stuffed animals, but that's not desperate. That's just pathetic....but kind of adorable (not really).
Here's NOT DESPERATE (I'm lying) Jen on the set of her movie The Bounty Hunter in New York yesterday.
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Y'know what's weird about her - she doesn't leave So Cal, ever. Brad & Anj are in France, Iraq, New Orleans ... But not Jen. She mostly stays in So Cal, even with all of her $. Why doesn't she look outside the business for someone? It's like she has blinders on.
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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
I don't believe the "she's desperate" bullshit that Holie wants everyone to believe. She's getting fucked by real men this time instead of the small dicked Pitt. Good for her. She's much more likeable, makes a lot of money, has a great figure -- much better than that fucking boney steroidal anorexic whore.
Submitted by Jizzball on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:00pm.
I know someone more desperate.
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Phoebe Price?
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Moo!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 07/12/2009 - 7:04pm.
It's funny- with all these stories, I still don't see her as desperate. Jessica Simpson and Kate Hudson reek of desperation to me, bt not Jen.
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I totally agree, PSL. She has NEVER seemed desperate to me. Actually, to me, she seems genuinely happy with her life, single or involved. And what a body. God, I'm a decade younger than she, and I'd LOVE to look like that. I really can't say anything negative about her.
am i the only person in the world who feels for this woman??
her husband left her for a twig with fat lips yet she is the one who the media hates on. honestly, if i were married and my husband left me for someone else, and all of a sudden they were the new "perfect couple" with a million children traveling all over the world, i would probably be in somewhat of a rush to get remarried and have kids and get my life on track too.
A woman in her 40's without veiny penis arms?? Nice. She looks smoooooking in the office slut gear! Way better then that brother kissing, 12 head will ever look.
Uggh in A Mighty Fart she had me rooting for the terrorist, you suck HOLIE
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"Why would I love a couch?"- Joe Guidice
I think she isn't desperate and doesn't actually give a fuck. But what she does need is a new publicity machine because this whole "rejected jen" crap is really annoying.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
No clip-on gold badge on her waistline? Surely she must be playing NYC's hippest and most glamourestest female cop. You know she bucks the system and conflicts with that male chauvinist Sarge back at the station.
He was using her to up his profile to grab the role in 'The Green Lantern'.
Since he struck out, he should look into a more worthy beard.
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damn, if rich white chicks can't get men, what chance does my po' Black ass have?
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The once-happily-married Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are said to have signed in to hotel guest registries as Mr. and Mrs. Ross Vegas. When the couple split so Brad could be with "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" co-star Angelina Jolie, the now-single Aniston allegedly selected a most surprising choice of aliases: "Mrs. Smith."
Since hooking up with Angelina, Brad Pitt really needs to be discreet while traveling, so rather than draw attention with their own names, Brad and Angie have been known to go incognito as Bryce and Jasmine Pilaf. When he's on his own he signs in as Carl Con Carne, while she prefers names like Miss Lollipop or Miss Manners.
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Moo!
i agree PSL, she seems smiley and is working. the young famewhores seem desperate to me not Jen.i guess you can't be successful AND single in Hollyweird.
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I simply don't buy the "desperate" stories. She strike me as pretty self-satisfied (in a good way).
Frankly, this "Jen needs a man!" line of thinking is pretty damn sexist.
At first I thought you were funny; now I think you're just miserable for no other reason than just to be grasping at imaginary straws.... you've lost all credibility and you're just plain mean and small. Wouldln't want to be you...
It's funny- with all these stories, I still don't see her as desperate. Jessica Simpson and Kate Hudson reek of desperation to me, bt not Jen.
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another Jen post, you know what that means?! let the "this is all St.Angie's fault" commence!
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How hard is it to find a worthy replacement for John or Brad? Douches and dimwits are everywhere.
It makes me wonder how she makes so much $$ and why paps even photograph her. It's all getting kinda old, isn't it? Jen disappointed yet again. She wasn't even *with* Brad very long so where is the disappointment. If she feels used, well welcome to the real world. And how many of her men have made the trek to Courteney & David's house to get their seal of approval? Arf, arf.
OMG can't the media let this woman be.
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She certainly looks better than Chupa below
She really is a modern tragedy!