Harry And Pepper Have Broken Up
Remember Harry on Pepper (on the right during happier times)? They are the dude penguins who fell madly in love with each other at the San Francisco Zoo. For six years, they were just like any other happy normal gay couple. They spent their weekends looking at model homes for fun (Why did I used to do that?), hosted "Golden Girls" themed cocktail parties and even raised a babeh penguin together! Well, the gay penguin love affair of our time has ended. And it's all because of a homewrecking SLUT WHORE SKANK BITCH named LINDA (on the left with Harry)!!!
The SF Examiner says that Linda has stolen Harry from Pepper! Linda is the Sienna Miller of the penguin world! Or maybe she's more like the Liza Minnelli?
Anywhorypenguinwithnomorals, Linda has quite the reputation around those parts as a fish digging skeezer. A few years ago, Linda left her man for a much older penguin named Fig. Linda started rubbing her ice cold crotch all over Fig just a few hours after his woman died! Fig went off to the fake iceberg in the sky this year. A few weeks later, Harry was seen hanging out in Linda's burrow! You know that shameless whore Linda tricked Harry into going into her burrow by telling him she just got the entire last season of AbFab on DVD! Shortly after that, the two were shacking up. It gets worse for poor Pepper...
Not only did Harry leave him for a dirty dirty bird (LITERALLY), but his ex attacked him one day! And not in the sexy way Pepper is used to. No, one day, Linda and Harry wobbled into Pepper's burrow and started pecking at him like they were on The Jerry Springer Show!! The three had to be separated. Pepper was put in a different penguin exhibition while Harry and Linda continued to play house.
However, Pepper is now back in the same exhibit as Harry and Linda. Everyone is watching to see what happens next on All My Eggs. One of the zookeepers said, “It’s molting season in late July and early August, and around that time we see couples getting shaken up. It’ll be interesting to see if Harry spends any of that time with Pepper. We’ll have to wait and see.”
Harry and Pepper will be back together. TRUST. Nobody can toss Harry's feathers the way Pepper does. Harry will never quit Pepper!
That being said, Linda is one of my new idols.
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Joe - my girlies love Pingu! The show is still on the air via satellite.
Linda must be a dirty whore. Harry is cornfused. Linda smells like sardines, she must, Harry is just looking for a meal.
Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:20pm.
Mary Poppins isn't the sequel to sound of music?
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No, no, xerquina! These are two entirely different movies where Julie Andrews essays the trailblazing role of working-class women eventually snagging (and snogging) their upper-class employers, thus paving the way for Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman", Fran Drescher in "Beautician and the Beast", and J.Low in "Maid In Manhattan"
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:18pm.
Xerquina
That's Sound of Music babe. Mary Poppins is Julie Andrews as an English nanny and Dick Van Dyke
with the absolute worst fake British accent ever! It's ears bleeding mayhem!!
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Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was the worst English accented POS Dick has ever done. but his hotness made up for it.
LMFAO MK! Hilarious!
Linda is a straight up pájaro cabrona!
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:18pm.
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Hi Queen JJ!
Used to love Pingu, along with La Linea...good memories, ta.
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City and Colour: The Girl
Mary Poppins isn't the sequel to sound of music?
*schedules trip to SF Zoo*
hahaahhaa these penguins have love situations than the hollywood crowd. hahaha great post!
PutaLinda!
Coma Caca!!
Cue Dobson, Robertson and the rest of the self appointed douchebags for Jesus: "This is conclusive proof that homosexuality can be cured. God bless Harry. Let's send our continued prayers to Pepper in hopes he repents of his filthy choice of lifestyle."
http://twitter.com/diegoblue
Maybe it was just a Bromance
Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:06pm.
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Definitely a Hot Slut contender.
What a brilliant story.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
You know were screwed if even the penguins are breaking up!
Aww, I love penguins. This is one of my favourite kids' shows.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTWv63RyLP8&feature=fvst
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Personal Jesus
Xerquina
That's Sound of Music babe. Mary Poppins is Julie Andrews as an English nanny and Dick Van Dyke with the absolute worst fake British accent ever! It's ears bleeding mayhem!!
Comedy Gold. By the time I reached"All My Eggs," tears from laughter were rolling down my face.
Hot Post of the Day.
damn that Linda
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:14pm.
Sally, i've never even watched Mary Poppins. something abut singing Nazi orphans creep me out.
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You are thinking of "Sound of Music"
Sally, i've never even watched Mary Poppins. something abut singing Nazi orphans creep me out.
SLOW news day...
Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:10pm.
i loved Happy Feet but hated the musical parts had to mute every time.
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You and me both!! My little one loves the movie too. Another one I have to plug my ears is Mary Poppins.
Lindalina Jolie!!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:07pm.
I have the sudden urge to watch "Happy Feet"
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Pepper's version would be "Slappy Feet"
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Bottom-feeder.
i loved Happy Feet but hated the musical parts had to mute every time.
DD
None yet. It would be a welcome change. Some high pressure system is keeping it hot and dry here.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:04pm.
They do but I think he is a confused penguin. Maybe the other penguins have been teasing him for being gay!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:05pm.
DD
I am glad to see you have not burst into flame! I about did yesterday. 115. Holee shite!!
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No kidding. Hella hot here. I stayed indoors 98% of the weekend. Are you getting any monsoon rain?
Wow, Linda...talk about March of the Homewrecking Sluts.
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City and Colour: The Girl
I have the sudden urge to watch "Happy Feet"
This was such a cute post all-around.
Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:06pm.
I think the Emperor penguins are the ones that mate for life(?) and/or are monogamous(?)
BTW Linda for Hot Slut.
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Thank you.
Monogamy does not seem to be part of mother nature's plan...
Maybe Harry is just using Linda? Things that make you go Hmmmm. After her sugar daddy, JW, I mean Fig passed, A.N. or Linda inherited his loot. Maybe Harry is hooking up so that he can off her and then he will inherit the loot and share it with Pepper. Maybe the attack was to throw everyone off track?
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I can't say you hurt me when you never let me near...
I would totally watch this on the Animal Planet.
I think the Emperor penguins are the ones that mate for life(?) and/or are monogamous(?)
BTW Linda for Hot Slut.
Submitted by cabbagehead on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 11:57am.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 11:39am.
Can a whore who goes commando please explain to me how it doesn't feel uncomfortable to you to have your taco slot juice uncontained? Nasty!
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Im not gay, but me and my friend used to do that ALL THE TIME! I need to become a realtor or something..looking at homes never got old for me!
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)**********(¨`·.·´¨)**********(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
*you've been far awaaaay. When I see your face my hearts burst into fire*
*Dont think too much just bust that thick*
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:04pm.
I though Penguins mated for life?
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the ozone layers are effing everything up.
What happened to the egg that Harry and Pepper kept warm? Did it hatch? If so, where their baby be at?
DD
I am glad to see you have not burst into flame! I about did yesterday. 115. Holee shite!!
I stopped reading at "Golden Girls"...
Too many word thingy's!
I though Penguins mated for life?
Happy Monday, Sally.
*grumbles at stupid stack of financial reports to 3-hole punch*
Stocky!!!
*dancing a little jig*
Somebody give those three a reality show STAT!
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Waiting for Britney's next meltdown...
I guess penguins are monogamous but not necessarily for life.
I need to go pay Harry and Pepper a visit.
"They spent their weekends looking at model homes for fun (Why did I used to do that?)"
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Did you really, MK??
I wuold rather clean the toilets at mah house than look at model homes. I accidentally drove into a neighborhood of them while looking for Colossal Cave one time. Bat guano got nuthin' on looking at model homes.
Now we know who the villain in Batman 3 will be.
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Bottom-feeder.
LMAO @ All My Eggs!!!! Mk the way you narrated the story is more interesting than 85% of movies Hollywood is feeding us.
Linda is a home-wrecking ho! She pulled an Anna Nicole with Fig and now is coming between Larry & Howard, I mean Harry & Pepper.
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I can't say you hurt me when you never let me near...