Tony Dumped Jessica
Papa Joe won't be spending his afternoon in a bubble bath with his Crazy Daisy Love Doll like usual, because he'll be too busy begging Nick Lachey to get back together with Jessica Simpson so they can shoot another reality show together called Newlyweds: Once More With Feeling. Papa Joe knows that Jessica will have to find another way of staying relevant now that Tony Romo has dumped her ass after almost two years together.
A source said that Tony pink-slipped Jessica the night before her birfday. I guess that's one way of getting out of buying her ass a present.
Jessica was planning a Barbie and Ken-themed party for her birthday (and there's the reason why Tony quit her ass), but canceled it. The source went on to say, "She is heartbroken. She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."
Jessica took a break from drowning her sorrows in sheet cake (Jennifer Aniston already ate the country's supply of packaged cookie dough), to Twitter a little bit. Last night, she wrote: "Everyone needs to know that hope floats...grab the strings and pull it back to you." A few hours later, she added: "Falling asleep with my mom and the dogs. Please lord give all of my beautiful fans, friends, enemies, and family rest. Bring all of us peace."
What she really meant is: PLEASE LORD GET ME THE COVER OF PEOPLE THIS WEEK!
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He had to dump her before her birthday, the guys in the locker room would have a field day with news of the Barbie & Ken themed party got out.
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Exactly. Seriously, WTF, Barbie and Ken?
I think she's probably a very sweet, but dumb girl, who just seems like such a needy person. She made such a fool of herself wearing his jersey during a game. She dumped Lachey because she thought the grass would be greener and now she's getting dumped by jackass athletes.
Submitted by Event Horizon
You did see her show right?
Dumb as a box of rocks...
Cute can only take you so far...for every hot woman u see theres a man somewhere whos sick of her sh*t!
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Actually, no. I've never watched that show because even then I had standards and taste.
And for every hot woman you see, there are SEVERAL men who are sick of her shit.
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If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you. - Oscar Wilde
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Poor Jess. I can't stand her but that's cold. Happy birthday, Jessica. Don't know if you're big on booze, but now seems like the right time to start drinking.
Okay, here is why I can't stand Chestica Simpleton...
Who has a Barbie and Ken birthday party at age 29?
Why would someone divorce a perfectly nice man like Nick Lachey because her daddy told her to?
In the dictionary, her picture is right by the word "dumbass."
Nick Lachey would NEVER take her back!
♥ Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you ♥
Wow poor Jessie
Tony needed to beat the heat from a Barbie n Ken
party before the boys in the team anal raped him with
their words.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Hit it and quit it.
Whatever will she talk about onstage when she performs at the next Garlic Festival, etc?
I don't understand the hatred towards Chestica. She's incredibly stupid but seems pretty genuine, and had some talent at one point. When she got in shape for that Daisy Duke movie she was absolutely smoking hot... maybe she'll start working out again now. lol
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 2:37pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 2:16pm.
I'm ok, grainy. I'm fucking with the tards over at JJ right now in the blob b-day thread.
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I just went and did that too. It's so comical how upset they get.
Share the link so we can all play.
He had to dump her before her birthday, the guys in the locker room would have a field day with news of the Barbie & Ken themed party got out. She is so desperate and has been planning the wedding in her head since their first date. I am surprised he stuck around this long, maybe John Mayer did teach her some tricks after all.
Yes!
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
People kept reporting he wasn't serious about her, so Rocket is probably right. He was probably just waiting for the right girl to move onto, and an uncomfortable moment to avoid as impetus (i.e. the horrendous party).
Also not into her music, but I feel sorry for Jessica. She seems like a well-intentioned and sensitive person, but misguided and maybe too zealous. She very clearly wants to be with someone, and I think that is working against her.
Submitted by Morbidosity on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 2:58pm.
Barbie and Ken?? Wonder if Assoleigh was going to show up dressed like Skipper?
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haha. And Pete was going to show up in his Teresa costume.
back to Jessica... Where's a hurricane when you need one?!?
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I don't want more choice, I just want nicer things!
Barbie and Ken?? Wonder if Assoleigh was going to show up dressed like Skipper?
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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.
Please let this be true. Maybe Romo will get his head in the game now. Can't wait for the TO reality show on VH1.
A "Barbie and Ken" themed party? No wonder that sent the poor guy running.
Jessica Simpson is pretty but she's got the IQ of an egg plant.
And that's probably unfair to egg plants.
Romo was dating Carrie Underpants and escourted her to a big Country and Western Awards Show. Saw Jessica Simpson there and contacted her dad and her the next day.
He's breaking up with her because he has someone else in mind. Old habits die hard.
oh jessica... i hope she finally will realise that she made a mistake breaking up with nick. nick was soooo good to her and not only did he put up with a lot of her crap, he put up with her crazy father as well.
Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 2:45pm.
I saw it on aol & sent it to MK. He said he'd already received it several times, so I'm guessing some other sites must be running it too.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Well this is shocking.
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Tristram on Sat, 07/11/2009 - 3:13pm.
...They grow up and attract douches so fast. *sniffling*...
I never read this anywhere else. If true, they'll be reunited by next week. Papa Joe won't allow a real breakup.
who cares?
Awww, I feel sorry for her! He didn't seem like he wanted to settle down at all.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 2:16pm.
I'm ok, grainy. I'm fucking with the tards over at JJ right now in the blob b-day thread.
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I just went and did that too. It's so comical how upset they get.
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
I can't wait for all the deep meaningful country songs this breakup will inspire from this thoughtful soul searching artist. I wish I could tell if she was going to pork up or Blohan, but I'm sure she'll be dressed classy.
I am not a fan of anything she does (except some of her shoes are the hotness) BUT she does seem like a very nice and down to earth girl so I do feel bad for her. I am sure she will be just fine and I really think her and Nick should give it another go. They were so perfect for each other maybe she was just too young to do it the first time. Time changes people.
Jessica was planning a Barbie and Ken-themed party for her birthday (and there's the reason why Tony quit her ass), but canceled it.
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For reals. For anyone who's wondering about timing...
I mean, if he had one doubt in his mind and Jessucka called up and said:"Hi, hunny!!! Guess wha'?! I'ma have me a Barbie and Ken party fer mah BIRFDAY!!! SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!" that would be the signal:
Quit this bitch. Do it now.
♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics
Oh wow. Let's see a show of hands on how many dlisters aren't surprised by this announcement? I, for one, am shocked.... I agree with Morbidosity, I'm sure her family was pressuring him to propose to her on her b-day & he just couldn't take it anymore. She was a nice little piece of arm-candy & now he's done w/her. Next!
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She shouldn't have gone along with her dad's plans to increase her celebrity by having her break-up with Nick. Nick obviously loved that dingbat and considering her intellectual and creative limitations she should have stuck with him. They'd have 2.5 kids and drawing a regular check playing daily shows in Branson. Her tweet sounds suicidal though which is sadness.
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I am not a pussy.
MK didn't call her Big-Titted Frog in this post. It's such an apt description. I'll bet she has the IQ of an amphibian too.
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Seeing how she has nothing to offer the world other than being an idiotic cum dump, I'm surprised that he stuck it out for this long.
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"When I was on welfare and foodstamps the government never helped me out." - Craig T. Nelson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jQAQ0lbAcw Voices That Care~ A patriotic star studded salute to the troops!
Obviously the contract has expired.
Failed at marraige. Failed at music. Failed at shoes. Failed at movies. Now she's failed at a fake p.r. relationship. Seems to me Jessicunt needs to be on Failblog.
Submitted by loozer on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:50pm.
Momma Superior,
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
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I know.... :(
Everthing will be just fine though ;)
Submitted by Master Blaster on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 2:14pm.
Blonde, huge boobs and can't keep a man!
She must have a horrible (or no) personality and is terrible in bed. A lethal 1-2 punch to any girl's (or guy's) love life.
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You did see her show right?
Dumb as a box of rocks...
Cute can only take you so far...for every hot woman u see theres a man somewhere whos sick of her sh*t!
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)**********(¨`·.·´¨)**********(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
*you've been far awaaaay. When I see your face my hearts burst into fire*
*Dont think too much just bust that thick*
Hahahaha and YAY! This is the best news I've heard all day.
I can see why he dumped her before her b-day. She and more especially Daddy Joe was probably putting the squeeze on Tony to put a ring on her finger. This was Tony's way of saying HELL TO THE NO...I aint going to marry this ho!
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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.
Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 2:06pm.
And there's this boxer who was strangled to death by his wife with her purse strap, right? Police suspected her because she couldn't explain how she could be in the same room for 10 hours with the deceased and not notice he was dead.
That and the "LV" marks on his neck.
Jessica was planning a Barbie and Ken-themed party for her birthday.
How old is she ....8?
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"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe
i think every pro athlete should dump his significant other at least until the storm clears.
I'm ok, grainy. I'm fucking with the tards over at JJ right now in the blob b-day thread.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
i never got why all my buddies thought Jessica Simpson was hot. i never got hard for her
That's how i roll
Blonde, huge boobs and can't keep a man!
She must have a horrible (or no) personality and is terrible in bed. A lethal 1-2 punch to any girl's (or guy's) love life.
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If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you. - Oscar Wilde
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As a dude, i can admit that dumping a bitch before her bday is not cool, however, considering the circumstances i don't really blame the guy
That's how i roll
Good God, I didn't really look at the pic 'til now. WTF is up w/ her hair? 2-tone.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Stoney!!!!
How is my little cinnamon bun frosted with cream cheese icing buddy today?
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 2:11pm.
You know what else floats, right?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A fatty turd?
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)**********(¨`·.·´¨)**********(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
*you've been far awaaaay. When I see your face my hearts burst into fire*
*Dont think too much just bust that thick*
You know what else floats, right?
♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics
Countdown to "Heartbreak!" People story in five, four, three, two...
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."