Thursday, July 16th 2009
Wha?! The New Marilyn?!
SANTO DIOS! Were the bitches at Vogue España sniffing a little "Blohan Special" while they put this cover together and proclaimed her as the nueva Marilyn Monroe?! More like NEVAH Marilyn. Zing?
You can't just throw a kitchen blonde wig on and go skipping around singing that you're the new Marilyn. Trust me, I learned the hard way a few Halloweens back when some mean ass tranny threw a Long Island Iced Tea at me for doing just that. Someone needs to throw a fucking Long Island Iced Tea at this trick! Bitches need to stop trying to make "HoHan as Marilyn Monroe" happen. Let's not do Marilyn like that.
HoHan looks more like Vadge after getting stretched ala Gumby and run through the Photoshop grinder a few times.
VIA ONTD
ShareThis
I thought this was Madonna at first. Speaking of which she did the whole Marilyn thing in the 80s so why does Hohan act like she owns that shit?
Well, both women are complete fuck ups... ok, I know Marilyn is worm food and all, but still that woman had serious mental issues. Besides, come on! she was also a marketing product and not a very good actress. I don't know why people get mad when other chicks are compared to Marilyn.
**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Hohan looks like Zac Efron done did a reverse Chaz Bono whilst donning a dime store wig which was once rejected by Dolly Parton before she became famous...
Unless Kevin Bacon is somehow involved in the cluster fuckery, I DO NOT see the 6 degrees of seperation between Marilyn and FIRECROTCH!
EPIC FAIL!
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
When is she going to realize that the blond hair makes her look like a corner hooker coming off a 3-day coke binge after trying to fuck 500 men in 24 hours?
This is an OUTRAGE, I tell you! There is no freakin' way Blohan could even come close to Marilyn in any way shape or form. At least Marilyn had some class & was a half-way decent actress. Even though she was messed-up on pills & booze, she was still lusted after by many men & envied by lots of ladies back in the day. Who is hot for Blohan? Some nasty skanky lezbo DJ lowlife? Ah puke, this is disgusting & way off base!
Vogue Espana puede comer mierda y morir.
¡Muy retardado y engañado por lo menos!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Submitted by Vico on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 7:20pm.
"So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stop focusing on her face.
Marilyn got chunky due to her addiction to beautiful DOLLS. Maybe Hohan should drop the crack and give in to the allure of those gorgeous little blue DOLLS.
drool
************
Stop the love you save may be your own.
http://whoismichael.com/index.htm
http://site2.mjeol.com/
Have I been mistaken all my life, I thought panty hose that has a line, the line is suppose to be on the back of your leg... i dunno....
........::::::00000000::::::.........
"So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?"
Maybe they think she too will die young from a drug overdose?
**********************************************
Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Jo, don't be tryin' to distract me from my angst with your sweet talkins. *hic* What were we talking about?
Lohan is muy flaca. Even Marilyn had some chunk despite her pill addiction.
Norma Jean she ain't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by chefcammi on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:55pm.
u cant fault her, theyre paying her ass...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Really? I thought interviews, cover shoots, tv appearances, etc are done for FREE. It's a trade off for the celeb to promote something like a movie, record, etc.
That's why some celebs have sticky fingers at photo shoots.
I've seen drag queens in The Village (NY) that looked more like Marilyn. Just when you think Hohan can't embarrass herself more.
If you speak a little Spanish, it's worthwhile clicking MK's Vogue link, then the link that says "¿Quieres ver todas las imágenes de la producción de moda con Lindsay Lohan?"
It sounds like Vogue truly filmed her in front of the Hollywood sign. She's also wearing a lot of Thierry Mugler Vintage, if that helps.
her legs are freakish...
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
Also fuck her and the fat CUNTS on ONTD that defend and worship this crackwhore.
--------------------------------------
If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:51pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:42pm.
Hahahaha! I can't be too mad. I know the 30 sluts who didn't vote are passed out on Strawberry Hill or Tinkle Pink right now. Damn lazy alcoholics. *hic*
**********
Are you saying you tinkle pink when you drink Strawberry Hill? Mon Dieu!
Edited to add: Errmm on topic: yes Marilyn..Lohan..dummies tous les deux.
************
"I put all my faith in this man and now my thighs are huge. I don't know what I'm going to do..I just don't know what I'm going to do."~Louise Cho, victim of the Madoff 'my pastries are all fat-free', Bakery scandal.
Does Lindsay have that much money that she can pay magazines to put her on covers? And Hohan ain't new at ANYTHING, maybe being sober but she still has ways to go.
--------------------------------------
If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
u cant fault her, theyre paying her ass...
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
OF ALL the people in ALL of the WORLD who are alive , acting, writing, singing dancin, making movies, doin TV , touring, playing, Vogue just HAD TO make my hair hurt by putting this useless washed up crackhead on the cover and proclaim her to be the new Marilyn. WTF?
I mean her last 2 films were flops, she has nothing to promote other than spray tan..
Like WHY>
AS IF... Me thinks White Oprah paid these bitches in Coca to make this happen..
Sorry Linds.. stick to promoting spray on urrrange douche glow tan ...
Marilyn Monroe , You will NEVER EVER be..
"You ARE a whore,darlin"- Cristal Conners, Showgirls
Fuckery. Unadulterated fuckery. I've seen sexier Japanese ball-jointed dolls (43cm and 70cm).
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
why does she insist on humiliating herself like that?
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:42pm.
Hahahaha! I can't be too mad. I know the 30 sluts who didn't vote are passed out on Strawberry Hill or Tinkle Pink right now. Damn lazy alcoholics. *hic*
People put Marilyn's face on dresses. People will never put Blowhan's face on dresses.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tristram on Sat, 07/11/2009 - 3:13pm.
...They grow up and attract douches so fast. *sniffling*...
Espana can have her and Fishsticks.
Can this bitch just die already please? We all know its coming anyway.
Oh yeah, Marilyn also had a waist.
This bitch is getting really disgusting and I am so tired of the "faces of crack" being our young people's roll models ~ fucking cunt needs to check herself OUT! And I DON'T mean in a mirror!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe we're all a little crazy, but laughing out loud makes it feel all right.
Submitted by sofster101 on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:41pm.
They should've airbrushed some hips on her.
**********
Yeah, no kidding. Apart from being a messy druggie, she has nothing in common with MM. Least of all physically.
************
"I put all my faith in this man and now my thighs are huge. I don't know what I'm going to do..I just don't know what I'm going to do."~Louise Cho, victim of the Madoff 'my pastries are all fat-free', Bakery scandal.
Is it terrible that I'm hoping she follows in Marilyn's footsteps, only is much more proactive about it?
Now, Marilyn was gorgeous. There will probably never be another one like her. But she was a fucking whore. How she gets this treatment of robbed innocences is beyond me. She managed to fuck everyone, including brothers, means that she was a slut.
Submitted by sofster101 on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:41pm.
They should've airbrushed some hips on her.
======
They should have airbrushed some talent into her.
************************************************
"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
************************************************
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:38pm.
***********
You got into that strawberry stuff, didn't you? Hahahahaha...I KNEW you'd come undone when it didn't win Hot Slut!
************
"I put all my faith in this man and now my thighs are huge. I don't know what I'm going to do..I just don't know what I'm going to do."~Louise Cho, victim of the Madoff 'my pastries are all fat-free', Bakery scandal.
They should've airbrushed some hips on her.
Ahhhh....quick question..when did MM become a bony, androgenous, bleach blond with bad roots?
sigh....LoHo is FAILING at simply being herself! shame really, cause while i never watched her movies, when she first appeared on the scene she has such promise.
tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 5:52pm.
*stabs self in eye*
____________
Awwww. Lilo abuses your loyalty, MC. *sad face times*
Tristram on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:33pm.
Cosmo sounds somehow age-inappropriate. And SI only features women on the cover once a year. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
True, when you are 13 though, cosmo seems cool and more adult than Sassy magazine or 16. :D
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tristram on Sat, 07/11/2009 - 3:13pm.
...They grow up and attract douches so fast. *sniffling*...
The only reason why Marilyn Monroe is as popular as she is, is because she died.
It is not necessarily a compliment to be compared to the lady.
Submitted by zomay on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:28pm.
Cosmo sounds somehow age-inappropriate. And SI only features women on the cover once a year. :)
You know, Marilyn really was a gross mess that used to piss and shit in the toilet and not flush. She also hardly bathed and would eat and leave food in her bed. Yeah, I still like her better than Blohan, though.
************
Stop the love you save may be your own.
http://whoismichael.com/index.htm
http://site2.mjeol.com/
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:23pm.
These pix look like contrived studio shots layered onto stock backgrounds.
************************************************
Let's keep this simple: These pix look like SHIT.
Is that okay?
Tristram,
My sister did a cosmo and her friend did SI or Time. I don't do that kind of crap. Of course we were all like 13.
Heeheeeehaahheeee
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tristram on Sat, 07/11/2009 - 3:13pm.
...They grow up and attract douches so fast. *sniffling*...
lol Texndoc.. btw, I read the article you posted last night. If that's true, I don't think the bill will pass. I do believe people who can afford it, should be able to have private insurance. However, I also believe people like me who can't afford insurance, should be able to get basic preventative healthcare.
************
Stop the love you save may be your own.
http://whoismichael.com/index.htm
http://site2.mjeol.com/
Submitted by zomay on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:20pm.
Tristram, when you were a kid, did you ever go to Magic Mountain and get one of those magazine cover photo shoots?
Nope. I had hard-ass parents. Is there a Hollywood sign portrait, then?
These pix look like contrived studio shots layered onto stock backgrounds.
Look closely (if you can without puking) at the hair. It looks like its been cropped from the original photo in order to layer it onto the background image.
************************************************
"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
************************************************
Don't see the Marilyn Monroe connection at all. Marilyn Manson, definately.
Is she looked like herself she couldn't get the cover of a penny-saver.
No, no, and NO.
Marilyn managed to make a breakdown look hot, sexual, and glamourous. Hohan just makes you wanna turn the hose on her ass.
Next they're gonna say Miley Cyrus is the new Judy Garland....wait, don't give them any fuckin ideas!
WHY???!!!!
*shoots self*
************
Stop the love you save may be your own.
Tristram, when you were a kid, did you ever go to Magic Mountain and get one of those magazine cover photo shoots? Heeeeheeeheeee
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tristram on Sat, 07/11/2009 - 3:13pm.
...They grow up and attract douches so fast. *sniffling*...
Maybe, just MAYBE she could have gotten away with this shit a few years ago when she still had a good figure and wasn't a trainwreck. Not long ago I was watching E! (don't judge!) and they had a rerun of SNL where she was hosting. She was probably 18 at the time, and she really looked gorgeous.
"Submitted by stake_spike on Thu, 07/16/2009 - 6:12pm.
I think they mean Marilyn in the train wreck department, but even then she did it with class. I mean during that time she fucked a Kennedy and Miller. Who did Linds screw.... oh yeah a Best. *eye roll*
Besides Marylin could act ("Don't Bother Knocking" anyone?) and she was likeable, LezLo is neither."
Actually - two Kennedys.
--------------------------------------
"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
WHOREhan got this because she PAID for it. That's right, she paid the magazine for the layout and to be named "The Next Marilyn". Her pimp mommy, white oprah, set it up. There's no other reason a magazine would highlight a disgusting, no talent drug & alcohol addict...
----------------------------------------
"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits