Scent Of A Crackie
Have you always wanted to smell like you've been laying in the moldy bathtub of a crackhouse for several days, but don't want to deal with the hassle of well....becoming a crackhead? You're in luckity luck, because Amy Wino is apparently working on her own fragrance (smells like cat piss, crusty scabs, empty ice pop wrappers, Blaaaake's dried-up dick saliva and weave glue) !
This story is most likely made of lies, but let me dream! Nothing would make me happier than prancing through Kohl's and seeing local crackies in crakehives spraying hos with Eau de Wino!
A source (aka an intern with a beautiful imagination) tells the Daily Star, “Mitch (Wino's papa je'e) is keen to licence Amy’s name to a perfume house. He has been in talks with manufacturers and contacted PR firms for advice. They want it to reflect her style with a classic smoky 1950s look and smell. Amy is keen to expand her brand and wants to latch on to the celeb perfumes bandwagon while she can. They know her fans love to copy her style, and her trademark fashion and beehive hair-do were last year’s must-have look.”
One "industry insider" is hating on this idea, "Frankly, she doesn’t look like she smells that nice, so doing some positive publicity to prove it doesn’t just smell of stale booze and fags would be vital.”
Stale booze and fags?! That sounds more like Eau de Michael K's No-No Hole.
ShareThis
This is gonna be some straight up stank!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Her dress is so gorgeous~~It is said she post a profile with many hot photos at a beautiful people site. That is a site for wealthy people and their admirers, it is called sugarscupid. c o m or something?
Crack hives became a "must have" item?
____________________________________________
http://www.twitter.com/spikevicious
http://www.youtube.com/dkittv
Hey they can sell it in a crackpipe! Wouldn't that be fitting? Then when the skanks are done with all the 'eau de sleaze' they have a new pipe to smoke their shit in.
Smelling bad never stopped Shitney from selling Pee-fumes.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Stale booze and fags?! That sounds more like Eau de Michael K's No-No Hole.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
LMAO; fucking brilliant!
my mom offered to let me wear jean n'ate...(sp?) in middle school to go with the clear mascara i was allowed to wear..i passed =P
she used to wear red door which i thought was a little mature for her..maybe im wrong? it seems like such a corny scent hee hee
________________________________________________
"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
I nearly choked when I read this line:
"One "industry insider" is hating on this idea, "Frankly, she doesn’t look like she smells that nice, so doing some positive publicity to prove it doesn’t just smell of stale booze and fags would be vital.”"
OMG, vital, yes!
Love's Baby Soft and Love's Real Lemon were the only perfumes my mom let me wear in middle school. She used to wear Shalimar, ugh. Try getting into a small car when you have a hangover and mom is wearing Shalimar. Instant upchuck.
if you believe this story is real, you spend too much damn time on gossip sites. go take care of your screaming child.
PSl, I heard that! I blame my mom for inducting me into the rite of passage of shaving my legs and waxing my eyebrows! Never screw your natural eyebrows, unless you have a mono-brow. And even that, so what?
I had white blond hair on my legs. No reason to shave that shit. Dammit! I'm gonna call my Mom and yell at her right now! (ha ha ha!)
GIG, hahahah- yeah, i wanted to use Tickle so much- made me feel "grown up" to use deodorant! Now, I'd give anything to not have to shave my armpits.
*********************************************
well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
you got a brand new key.
I think that we should get together and try them out to see
- Melanie
PSL: ah, those trips down mammary lane, oops....memory lane! Sorry, Wino's boobs are oddly hypnotic today.
I thought the Beehive wig dumped Wino and went to Dollywood?
"Tickle"- LMAO!!!
yes, it came in 4 colors! ah, memories!!!
*********************************************
well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
you got a brand new key.
I think that we should get together and try them out to see
- Melanie
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:55am.
GIG, I loved "Love's Baby Soft"!!!
*****************************************
It brings to mind that deodorant with big roller-ball on the end "Tickle". That had a serious stink. And the bright colored packaging! You'd go blind if you stared at it for too long.
I remember I hated the commercial for Tickle. They showed some annoying actress on a rowing machine giggling like a mental patient. Over deodorant? I yelled at the t.v. for her to get grip before she wet herself.
I can't help but think it will smell like burnt hair.
------------------------------------------
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.
*sigh*
So fucking tired of "celeb" scents/clothes/shoes/wnatever.
WHO actually buys this shit?
Everytime I see her, she is always making a fucked up face. Has this gutter skank EVER taken a good picture?
I'm sure the people of England are so happy. They sure have put out a wide variety of skanks, cunts, whores & sluts. Sienna Miller, Winehouse, Katie Price, Lady Caca, Jodie Marsh, Heather Mills, etc. Good thing we threw their asses out of the US a long time ago; I don't think we could survive with more homegrown free-range dumbasses like these roaming around...
----------------------------------------
"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Aw, hell to the no. Mitch Winehouse needs to take a break from talking to the press-- looks like daddy's picked up his daughter's crack habit since she's left it behind, cos this shit is bogus.
Besides, Demeter already makes a Gin & Tonic perfume.
I'd buy Eau de Michael K's No-No Hole before I bought anything that smelled like Wino. Ick.
**********
“He who hesitates, doesn't get laid.”
--Brian Kinney
Stale booze and fags?! That sounds more like Eau de Michael K's No-No Hole.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...if M.K. bottles his no-no hole scent Mah Boo would buy it, sniff it and be on M.K. like a bloodhound....but her's a warning.....Tommy Girl might catch a whiff.....and M.K. would be converting to sciencreeptology before they fuse together....T.G. would insist on that....
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 12:23pm.
hahah, TEN sprays!?!?! See? They have no idea! hahahaha, dumbasses.
my boyfriend bought the Juicy Couture men's, and it smells good with about one, maybe 2 sprays. He one time used SIX sprays and I was ragging on him so hard and dubbed that cologne his "douche spray" after that.
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Some men just don't know when enough is enough.
I prefer after shave. And if hubby gets that too strong, I hand him a wet rag and say "here ya go".
...laughing at the pig pen comment...lol
Submitted by missy on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 12:12pm.
Submitted by humpa on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:58am.
I know a guy like that. He was waiting for me in his car. I could smell him before I got to the car. He was like Pigpen from Peanuts with the cologne cloud following him around.
He said, "I only used TEN sprays. Is that a lot?"
Submitted by missy on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 12:04pm.
ya dont say....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trust me on this one. My friends used to call me Blanche Devereux because I know ALL the man-catchin' tricks.
**************************************
"F*CK OFF!" -- Harvey Yorke Price
I'm flummoxed that she didn't go with a scratch 'n sniff instead.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"What drawer?". "The KNIFE drawer"
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/futurepigeon/video/x9wcqu_psycho-one-oh-...
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9wd0k_psycho-one-oh-four-knife
Submitted by humpa on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:58am.
Wasn't there also one that smelled like lemons and had a lemon as the cap? lol
Yes, there was I had the lemon one, Baby Soft and remember Sweet Honesty from Avon?
.some guy passed us up and it smelled like he had bathed in Gray Flannel.
I used to date a guy that did the same thing with Aramis and one that did with English Leather. (which by the way, I still like EL)***hides***
Fags are Brit-speak for cigarettes.
Submitted by humpa on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:58am.
Wasn't there also one that smelled like lemons and had a lemon as the cap? lol
And its not always woman that put too much on. This morning, while out walking my dog..some guy passed us up and it smelled like he had bathed in Gray Flannel.
The smell of that coupled with the smell of my dogs poop bag made me want to puke.
**
TOTALLY
sometimes I think men are worse cause they dont read mags about that type of stuff... they just dont know how much to put on.
I can think of 3 men off the top of my head that if I hug them, I smell like their colone afterwards. GROSS!!!!!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
That is just pure hotness right thurrrr!
***********************
"If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I`m f—king my dog!" - Gerard Butler
I don't have time to read MK's entire post on this thread, but just HAD to ask:
Is she sporting that FUCKED UP rat's nest AGAIN?!
I HATE that thing. I'll slap it off her fug-ass head and stomp all over it if I ever see it in person. (okay, not really but I'd want to)
Submitted by 2Di4 on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:55am.
I shouldn't share this, but since I'm married now I may as well pass my secret along to the single ladies.
Wearing just a little of that crap will drive a man insane. It makes them think of their eight grade crush. Trust me on this one.
It totally works in very small doses. The key is that you can't wear a lot and you can't do it often. Just a couple of spritzes early in the dating phase and he is all yours.
**
ya dont say....
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
OMG yes! Love's Baby Soft...
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
"They know her fans love to copy her style.."
She has fans?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Time heals all wounds, laughter prevents scarring.
Wasn't there also one that smelled like lemons and had a lemon as the cap? lol
And its not always woman that put too much on. This morning, while out walking my dog..some guy passed us up and it smelled like he had bathed in Gray Flannel.
The smell of that coupled with the smell of my dogs poop bag made me want to puke.
I'll believe this when I see it.
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
I think I still have a bottle of Baby Soft from 1988. Then again, I don't throw anything away. It's a curse.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
"Frankly, she doesn’t look like she smells that nice"
OMG I can't stop laughing at this. Truer words were never spoken.
Submitted by Green Is Good on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:48am.
Anybody remember that nasty cologne "Love's Baby Soft"?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I shouldn't share this, but since I'm married now I may as well pass my secret along to the single ladies.
Wearing just a little of that crap will drive a man insane. It makes them think of their eight grade crush. Trust me on this one.
It totally works in very small doses. The key is that you can't wear a lot and you can't do it often. Just a couple of spritzes early in the dating phase and he is all yours.
Note to men: This shit won't work for you. Drakkar Noir and Polo are not nostalgic. They are douchey.
**************************************
"F*CK OFF!" -- Harvey Yorke Price
GIG, I loved "Love's Baby Soft"!!!
some people should never be associated with a perfume- Amy is definitely one of them.
*********************************************
well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
you got a brand new key.
I think that we should get together and try them out to see
- Melanie
What about Skorbut No 5 or Peeve Gauche?
WC One? Anails Anails?
Enough now, I'm going home.
Meet y'all later! :D
Anybody remember that nasty cologne "Love's Baby Soft"? Slap Wino's face on a bottle of that pink colored shit. She'll make a mint!
What's the difference between perfume and cologne? *Trots off to Google* Tra la la!
"...her trademark fashion and beehive hair-do were last year’s must-have look."
They're kidding, right??
And that description of Blaaaake's dried-up dick saliva made me gag!
oh, that face! that horrible face! i can't even look at it. please post a picture of kittens or something, michael! i need a palate cleanser!!!
**************************************
"F*CK OFF!" -- Harvey Yorke Price
If it smells like coconuts and reefer, I'll buy it.
♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫
Hey Ladies
She looks so much like Sadie Sandler (Adam's kid) that it's scary!
LMAO that photo, that title!
Note to self: Don't drink and read Dlisted at the same time.
Submitted by loozer on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:40am.
on the day that Amy was born
The angels got wasted and decided
To create a scream come true
So they sprinkled crackdust in her hive
Of mold and covered her with big tattoos
that is why all the dogs in town
Follow her all around
Just like the papz
They long to be
Close to Wino...
---------------
I wondered why 'birds suddenly appeared'
I for one with not buy this. I am still upset that Brit Brit's fragrance did NOT smell like carmel fraps, gas stations, and beef jerky, and I'm afraid that this is another rip-off and we will not get the "stale booze and fags" smell.
------------------------------------------------
It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Submitted by loozer on Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:40am.
on the day that Amy was born
The angels got wasted and decided
To create a scream come true
So they sprinkled crackdust in her hive
Of mold and covered her with big tattoos
that is why all the dogs in town
Follow her all around
Just like the papz
They long to be
Close to Wino...
*************************************************
Whaaaaa...haaaahahahaaaaaa....c-lose to Wino!
Well done! :D
Old pic I hope. Last I saw here Wino was looking like Reese Witherspoon, all preppy and soapy like and Reese Witherspoon was looking like Wino, no explanation needed.
Boxed Wino ?
Why not just bottle the scent of low tide ?