Friday, July 24th 2009

Kim Zolciak Understands The Fame

Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewives of Atlanta can relate to both Britney Spears and Michael Jackson. Kim understands the beast known as fame (not to be confused with the beast on her head nicknamed "famewhore"). Kim talks about this in an interview she gave to Popeater that was delivered down to us by the baby angels. For serious. Kim is really the grand dame of delusional! Example: "I feel bad for Britney Spears, I look at her and I'm like they just tear up one side and down the other! Then the next month, she's doing so great, she's lost weight, she's a great mom all of a sudden. I kind of sympathize with her because I take a lot of that heat myself." Oh and it gets better....

"I wasn't into Michael Jackson, back in the day I was, but then when he did pass, I'm like everybody else, I bought all his songs. He was so super, super talented and it's pretty terrible. Although I can understand how it could happen. I understand the fame. My life changed in such a short period of time, I can't imagine what he dealt with. Sometimes, emotionally, it's taken its toll on me, never mind him who is far bigger worldwide."

Oh, Kim, you are more famous than Brit Brit and Michael Jackson combined. Well, that's if you count all the voices inside her wig as fans.

If you drive by Kim's luxurious townhouse on any day of the week, you will see a mob of paparazzi and fans fighting just to get one peek of her. Yes, you'll notice that the paps are a little shorter than normal and that's because they are neighborhood kids Kim pays to hold cameras. Just go along with it! Oh and the fans are actually members of the ASPCA trying to capture her wig, but again, go along with it! Just skip through Kim's forest of crazy. It's better for everyone.

And I leave you with another amazing quote about her wig line: "I got so much heat for wearing a hair piece, which is comical because all the girls on the show wear one. I took so much I heat, I was like, I'm gonna turn a negative into a positive. I'm gonna go ahead make it work. Actually, it was really difficult for me to talk about that last year. Now in just a year, I'm able to talk about it, explain my situation and why I ended up in that position and why I still do it today ... 'cause I don't really have to. It's turned into a business venture at this point."

I. Cannot.

Posted by: Michael K


Wanton Hussy's picture

Bitch looks like Scott Stapp in a Dollar Store wig.

patty cake's picture

Bessy the cow eyelashes are her crime of fashion

xoxox

The war isn't working.

Mother Superior's picture

Is she still denying the wig?
I wonder what lives (or died) underneath....

udontknow's picture

She is really sexy!!! I have ever seen her hot video on the wealthy dating club (sugarscupid. c o m) for hot guys and girls to hook up each other. She is really sexy with bikini in that video.

cadebra1961's picture

I have never watched THIS caca show. Now I know why. And who the fuck applies (or should I say, PAINTS ON} this broad's make-up? A half-blind, drunken 90-year-old demented queen? And don't even get me started on the hair/wig/whatever....or the verbal diarrhea that spews from her pie-hole. STFU you skanky, stupid, retarded, famewhore SKANK!! Aggghhh!!!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←

yucko's picture

What I don't get is this...

Wearing a wig: whatever. If you need or want to wear a wig, fine. But if you're supposed to have some money, then why not buy a wig that looks like and is made out of REAL human hair? For all I know, maybe Kim's is real, but it doesn't LOOK like it is. It looks like fucking Barbie hair. It doesn't even match what little bangs you can see poking out of the edge.

MyTwoCents's picture

I think Kims wig might be related to 'The Hat'... she really needs to get that thing some foil lining.

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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang

z-listed's picture

Forget about the wig, MK, what's going on with those EYELASHES!

Shit if I tried to wear those I'd be blind in 10 seconds from the weight!

udontknow's picture

She is really sexy!!! I have ever seen her hot video on the wealthy dating club (sugarscupid. c o m) for hot guys and girls to hook up each other. She is really sexy with bikini in that video.

gee_gee's picture

Girrrl! Can we speak for a moment about this chick's eye make-up game? What really happened here? Did Wet & Wild have a sale on extra large lashes? Damn. And I feel like her brows are GLUED ON. Fail.

TITS's picture

'animal stories' HAHAHAHAH!

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"What drawer?". "The KNIFE drawer"
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/futurepigeon/video/x9wcqu_psycho-one-oh-...
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9wd0k_psycho-one-oh-four-knife

azgirl's picture

Those eyelashes! OMG!

great halloween costume, will scare all the little kiddies going out looking like that

soul's picture

yeah Michael Jackson was famous,you Kim are not, good she got that.dumbho.

Hysteria's picture

blah

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.

F-listed's picture

i am starting to think this woman is as bald as beyonce and her basement sister . Why else is she throwing a rug on her head like that and those eye lashes... sheesh.

Bjork You's picture

She has bukkake (sp?) face, meaning that it's the kind you wanna jizz on, like some of those busted ho's on those nasty porn sites. I know that's a horrible thing to type, but don't you think it's kind of true? (Fergie has bukkake face, too.)

babybunny's picture

since when did tarantulas on eyelids become a fashion statement? Very KLASSY with a K for sure! She is such southern white trash..but that synthetic hair...too damn much!

stake_spike's picture

Wait I forgot why does she wear the wig again? Becuase she has cancer? I thought that was fake.

QueenVelveeta's picture

Love her Dynel wig.

caribbeanchic's picture

Submitted by ChubbyWubby on Fri, 07/24/2009 - 1:17pm.
Another talentless all fake skank whore---fake eyelashes, fake hair, fake boobs, big ugly nose and bad complexion from 50 pounds of makeup. Her and Jordan are cut from the same slutty mold.

OK, I just pictured your avatar saying those exact words except it would end with Quagmire saying "I'd still hit them both, ehe ehe".

loozer's picture

When did Kelly Pickler become a New Jersey Housewife?

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Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted...

hotmess119's picture

God this just gets me even more excited about watching these tramps next week. Seriously. I watched the "lost footage" last night and I had forgotten how much I love hating Kim and Sheree. And oh, how I love the NeNe.

letinstar's picture

fuck effort with the wig she's trying to rock....
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....

ChubbyWubby's picture

Another talentless all fake skank whore---fake eyelashes, fake hair, fake boobs, big ugly nose and bad complexion from 50 pounds of makeup. Her and Jordan are cut from the same slutty mold.

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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Dirk Diggler's picture

That wig is 100% synthetic and it shows.

Silvara0428's picture

Wish I could stuff her "hair piece" down her mouth piece...
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TexnDoc's picture

Disgusting how this did not win "Hot Slut of the Year" last time. Lost to a picture of a cat, I believe. Bonnie Hunt's impersonation :"I'm just gonna give y'all a little taste of my songs. La-la-la-la-la. That's all for y'all". Kim is the best.

Cindyloo's picture

Those are some scary lashes.

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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."

sugar free's picture

are your eyelashes supposed to touch your eyebrows?

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Time heals all wounds, laughter prevents scarring.

caribbeanchic's picture

Oh no. This picture is wrong. They should ban zoom on cameras on account is this sh*t.

VaNcItY's picture

She'd look a helluva lot better if she waxed her mustache (rather than pounding on the make-up), had dark brown hair and no fake eyelashes, or at least some natural looking ones.

death2douches's picture

Those tarantula eyes bring me back to my cashiering days at Wal*Mart, and the hot piece that was named Darla who mixed super glue with her Maybelline to achieve this look of utter hotness.

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"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." ~ Cordelia Chase

"Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable." ~ Mrs. White

dreadpiratecuervo's picture

Did she make her fake eyelashes out of construction paper? They don't look remotely natural, therefore they don't look remotely cute.

you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan

Meeshie's picture

Submitted by Raul Duke on Fri, 07/24/2009 - 12:12pm.
Note to self: Self, STAY THE FUCK OUTTA ATLANTA!

No-No-No...Raul (and the rest of you) please come to Atlanta. I swear people in ATL aren't like this wig-wearing, narcissistic, big-tittied, big-nosed, Muppet-makeup-wearing cuntwad. As you can tell from my "colorful" description of Kim Zolciak, we are much classier than she. ;-)

milash's picture

What are those things crawling on her eyelids?

kittenkeane's picture

OH MK! Love the "I.Cannot."

I have that thought every friggin day, at least once!

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"I'm Not an Alcoholic, I'm a Wine Connoisseur!"

missy's picture

"...never mind him who is far bigger worldwide."

I love how she throws in the aburdly unneccesary disclaimer "worldwide"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

have some more kool-aid, kim

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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

z0mgeddie's picture

this bitch is suppose to be the same age as me (30)? ha!

don.i.mo's picture

Is she speaking Yodaeze in her interview? I couldn't quite get the meaning of this:

"He was so super, super talented and it's pretty terrible. Although I can understand how it could happen. I understand the fame. My life changed in such a short period of time, I can't imagine what he dealt with. Sometimes, emotionally, it's taken its toll on me, never mind him who is far bigger worldwide."

WTH?! Girl, shut your mouth because you've removed all doubt....

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"Hand me a wheel and a boat hat, because we've got ourselves a new Captain Understatement here!"-M.K.

chowgirl69's picture

Submitted by BJ JINKINS on Fri, 07/24/2009 - 12:12pm.
it must be beauty qween friday cuz this hole page is filled with beauty qweens

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LOL, fuck this made me laugh at my desk like a lunatic...thanks BJ.

MizRo's picture

hahahaha! 80's video, so true, TB!!

I have to rescind my semi-attractive statement: the more I look at her, the uglier she is. That proboscis is as big as Parisite's too.

Frybread's picture

Those eyebrows are fantastic. Is this a dude in drag?

Stoney's picture

I love how she refers to wigs as "hair pieces".

*snort*

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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

madam ex's picture

What a way to start the day.

Mr. Mercury's picture

...by the way, someone please tell me she's not wearing a giant fake sunflower on the side of her head.

"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"

suckandfuck's picture

I HAD CANCER WAIT! I DIDN'T HAVE CANCER.

Snarf's picture

Did she have her makeup gun on "whore" or "clown"?

girl_cheese's picture

She looks like my dad in drag. Are we 100% sure this is really female? She's wearing a 3/4 wig. She's using her own hairline/bangs to make it look almost believable.

M.K. - give us a warning when posting these kinds of pics. I'm trying to eat lunch here.

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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.

TheBreakdown's picture

MizRo!

OK?

You can totally see where her busted hairline recedes and her Yoko Fono dollar store extensions begin.

She looks like an extra for a bad 80s video.

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