Jon Gosselin's Douche Heart Will Always Belong To Meth Brows

The picture above is Satan's screensaver for the week. FYI. So...

Jon Gosselin is still taking up space in Southampton with fellow douchemeister Michael Lohan. The two took their growing douchemance to some polo game in Bridgehampton yesterday. Jon spoke to both People and UsWeekly and even though he denied dating The Other Kate, he still gave different stories about his love life (puke, wipe, puke, wipe, etc....).

This is what Jon told UsWeekly: "My heart is always with Hailey."

This is what Jon told People: "At this point ... I'm single – per se. I'm just a regular guy who just wants to have friendship and good times. And I like meeting people. She's (Hailey) always a good friend of mine. Her family is so good. They took me in and I lived there for a while. I love them to death. She doesn't like this [craziness]. She loves me for who I am and not for what I do. We are going to chill out for a while and see where it takes us. I'm not looking for anyone."

Hmmm....so this sort of sounds like all you single ladies out there might have a chance at licking on Jon's Bluetooth headset. If you want to be in the running, you better slip on your finest Ed Hardy t-shirt (a dirty diaper dipped in vomit will also work). It will also help your chances if you wax your eyebrows with a piece of duct tape so it looks like they just escaped a meth lab explosion.

Maybe Jon should let Hailey know what's going on. After she saw those pictures of Jon with The Other Kate, she fell into a planter again! Hailey needs to stop burying her emotions in plants. It's not healthy or very green-like.

Somebody please water her!

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by MrPossumsMama on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:18pm.

If I didn't know better I'd say they look like a couple.
Is MiLo wearing a wedding ring??

Submitted by smiletoyou715 on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:52pm.

But someone said he is searching someone on the famous rich men seeking passion site !!!.sugarscupid. c o m. there are some of his hot pictures.. joke or not?

Submitted by kitty1 on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 2:56pm.

Are those Man-pri's? He should be shot.

Submitted by loozer on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:21am.

Just too too much. Queasy now.

*************************************************
Well, I could dance with you honey
If you think it's funny
But does your mother know that you're out?
And I could chat with you baby
Flirt a little maybe
But does your mother know that you're out?

Submitted by udontknow on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 3:28am.

Is it wrong for a man like him to have sugar baby?? you know it is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services c ome out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship..like !!!.----SugarsCupid. C O M----what will the world be??

Submitted by Laurel on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 3:17am.

Nice legs, Mr. Lohan.

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 3:16am.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vNOhzvwQtQ

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 3:09am.

Who is the elderly homosexual in the checkered shorts - the husband of the Ornamental queen?

Submitted by yucko on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 1:29am.

"She loves me for who I am and not for what I do..."

What, exactly, does Jon Gosselin fucking do?

I wasn't inclined to blame Kate in the first place--a guy only gets into a relationship like that surely knowing and accepting that the woman is already bossy. But no wonder she bossed his ass around because THESE are the kinds of decisions this stupid piece of shit makes when he has complete free will. He hangs around with a reality-show-wannabe plastic surgeon's daughter who's using him, Lindsay Lohan's father, and a tabloid writer. Idiot.

Submitted by cadebra1961 on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 12:17am.

Submitted by anonymouse_9 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 10:36pm.
I remember when Michael Lohan was released from prison and made that cell phone call to Lindsey, so all of America could see. He also had his big bible next to him because he had become a minister in jail. Maybe Pastor Michael is ministering to Jon.

*********************

Papa Hohan is ministering Jon to show him the ropes. You know, on being a Master Douche, lol!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←

Submitted by Whatever on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 11:46pm.

These fuckwads deserve each other.

Submitted by buttafooco on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 11:25pm.

WTF is up with his toes on the his foot? They look like parasitic kudzu weed...

Submitted by anonymouse_9 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 11:06pm.

I remember when Michael Lohan was released from prison and made that cell phone call to Lindsey, so all of America could see. He also had his big bible next to him because he had become a minister in jail. Maybe Pastor Michael is ministering to Jon.

Submitted by anonymous7643 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 10:41pm.

I laugh every time I see those diamond studz. They're so douchey and dated at the same time.

Submitted by udontknow on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 9:59pm.

Submitted by Paquita on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 9:56pm.

when douches collide.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Is this real life?

Submitted by Grace Disful on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 9:49pm.

My vagina feels uncomfortably fresh after reading this post. . .

I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.

Submitted by Manimal5 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 9:29pm.

"She loves me for who I am and not for what I do."

Well that's good because you do nothing.
Two douchenozzles.
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...I was always thinkin' of games that I was playin'...

Submitted by stake_spike on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 9:18pm.

I bet that crackhead does some ranchy shit to him in bed. Crap Kate would never do hence why he's spouting crap about only being with her. That's one way to keep a desperate, divorced, middle aged dude, be a freak in the bedroom.

Submitted by 881114 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 8:58pm.

I hope I can be a cinderella of someone. My friend recommend me a millionaire dating site ****^^^^ＢＩＧＵＫＬＯＶＥ .c O m ^^^^***where you can find me and many handsome black and white men, where I'm waitting for my right

Submitted by wickedorchid on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 8:30pm.

I am with Pearl Necklace. I used to feel so bad for Jon because Kate was so controlling. Now that I see the stupid shennanigans that Jon get up to when he's unsupervised I am firmly on team Kate. Kate my possum haired blossom, thank you for keeping Jon busy with simple lists of chores and time outs in the corner.

Submitted by zomay on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 8:27pm.

Paquita,

The print was found on a wrapping paper website.

I like yours though.

Submitted by Paquita on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 8:22pm.

zomey, your avie is MY tablecloth!!

you all smell that? Douchiness

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Is this real life?

Submitted by zomay on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 8:20pm.

elmo, not to mention having to see their ankles. These men need to cover their ankles and big ugly toes. Toes only a wife would love. Or a paid hooker.

Submitted by elmo533 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 7:52pm.

Submitted by radio siren on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 2:02pm
___________________________________________

It's not so much that your staring their at feet, it's that you're staring at their hooves; their chapped and caloused feet; dry, ashy toes; and discolored, overly long, and sometimes dirty toenails. Those dogs need to be enshrouded in SOCKS and SHOES!!! And no, socks and sandals will not cut it.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Light up a spliff and break out the Boone’s Farm. The magazine that many of us all loved and hated at times is a wrap like Reynold’s."
-Crunk and Disorderly
RIP Vibe Magazine 2009

Submitted by Sookie on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 7:37pm.

oh for fucks sake.....

________________________________________________
"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08

Submitted by cadebra1961 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 7:32pm.

The bitch passed out against the wall with the plant "consoling" her is fuckin' PRICELESS!!! Bwahaha!! And the troll patrol assholes in the Hamptons? Just disgusting & so pathetic. Call me crazy, but I always found Mr. Hohan slightly & strangely attractive. I know, I may have flipped my biscuit just a bit. Blame it on the weed, lol!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←

Submitted by putas on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 7:17pm.

Submitted by radio siren on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 2:02pm.

This comment made my day. Bro culture! It is rampant. One thing I am glad Mr Putas refuses all of it, esp. flip flops. He's a keeper.

And Jos Shmoe- exactly. Watching the inane ins and outs of strangers' lives really is not a good escape. The popularity of reality tv confuses me too. Then again it's all scripted. But still..not enough to make me want to watch. Dlisted is the only way I know who these nutters are.

Submitted by Coif on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 7:13pm.

I saw it again, Michael K, Hold me!!!!!

Submitted by Plecostomus on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 6:35pm.

Submitted by Pinkrose00 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:46pm.
WTF is that picture of the girl in the planter??!??!!! That's the best thing I've seen all week.
--------------------------

I see you missed the party:

http://www.dlisted.com/node/32921
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Bottom-feeder.

Submitted by zomay on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 6:26pm.

Wow, I just don't know what to say about this. It's like Jon Gross searches with shark like precision for friends...that will piss the whole world off.

Sorry for the extra long sentence.

Submitted by quickkill on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 5:46pm.

So now Jon goes from welfare dad to a Southampton polo party ? Shouldn't he be wearing loafers or clogs ??

Submitted by Coif on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 5:32pm.

Oh god, make it stop, the foulness, the rankness, the unclean ness!!!!

Submitted by ikoihiI on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 5:26pm.

Ah, the picture of meth brows eating Miracle Grow gives a new meaning to 'face plant.'

Submitted by Hysteria on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 5:20pm.

aaaarrrrggghhh. i'm douche OD-ing ....

*eyes rolling back, twitching*
*collapses*

.
.

Submitted by Pinkrose00 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 5:16pm.

WTF is that picture of the girl in the planter??!??!!! That's the best thing I've seen all week.

Submitted by Pinkrose00 on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 5:11pm.

Look at their hideous matching outfits!!!!!!!!! This type of fuckery should not be allowed.

Submitted by Sibsi on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:54pm.

LoL, yup!

"Douchemance" is now a word I will try my best to insert in a conversation in the near future to be sure ;)

Submitted by Droppin Kids Of... on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:48pm.

Two douchebags, one cup!

Droppin Kids Off in the Pool

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Submitted by Albatross on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:41pm.

"Satan's screensaver", "douchemance" - you're killing me, MK!

**********
“Let's go piss off some heterosexuals.”
--Brian Kinney

Submitted by Sibsi on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:40pm.

Submitted by barburger on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:03pm.

Not usually on, on the weekends. Is there no open post on Sunday?

---------------------------------------------------

I believe Open Post is a weekday thing only?

I wasn't able to post around the time MK introduced the feature and since returning, haven't been able to post during weekends either, just like you.

It's alright with me though, 'cause even though Open Post is fun, it gets difficult to keep up.

Oh and as for these two? Woweeee... some serious ugly going on here.

Hopefully Jon's children will do much better than Hohan & Ali Button...

Submitted by barburger on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:38pm.

I'm out, this is boring. Would rather watch the Hamster sleep.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:36pm.

Frick and Frack, Tweedledum and Tweedledee, Thing 1 and Thing 2, Fuk Mee and Fuk Yoo.

♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca

Submitted by leonard mckelvey on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:36pm.

Isn't it just sweet Jon and Mike both in their mandals.

Submitted by barburger on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:33pm.

Not usually on, on the weekends. Is there no open post on Sunday?

Submitted by RainbowBrite on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 4:30pm.

I am preparing for the end times. Our society is seriously fu**ed! These two should be ashamed to call themselves men. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And these women, that don't have an ounce of self-esteem or dignity, who think it's cool to be seen with them!