Saturday, August 1st 2009

Sam Champion Is Not Enjoying This

Kelly Clarkson performed on Good Morning America yesterday and decided to lick on the giant gaysicle known as Sam Champion (tastes like pancake make-up, bronzer, urinal cakes, glory hole dust and the back of Diane Sawyer's hand).

You can't tell from this picture, but Sam's penis has crawled up into his stomach and his yes-yes hole looks like a slug after getting doused in salt. The reason? A woman's tongue has never been that close to Sam and he doesn't know how to handle it! Sam is trying to focus. He's using his gaymagination to picture Kelly's tongue as a rock hard nine incher. You can tell by the look in his eyes that's it's not working.

Posted by: Michael K


Whamo's picture

Submitted by mandashell on Sun, 08/02/2009 - 5:49pm.

Hey Mandashell...shutup FAT ASS!!!!! The way you're going on here I would think you're a nice butterball yourself!!!

Meeshie's picture

Wow. She looks like 10 pounds of shit stuffed in a 5 pound bag.

Sayonara's picture

Sam Champion is one of my favorite weather reporters out of the tri-state.

You got to bring Jim, James, Paul & Tyrone...

areyouok715's picture

What a ^%$&$%$ man!! The magazine WEALTHY GOSSIP reported he joined the rich men seeking sugar babies site !!!.sugarscupid. c o mand he is mentioned to find his sugar girl there! the magazine foolx he?? or fools us.

moonmaid's picture

I love her voice and personality, but she is in dire need of Stacy and Clinton. She is wearing clothes that call attention to her backside and thighs, instead of looking cute and chic, which she could, even with the extra pounds.

Unfortunately, she probably eats like most gals here in Texas which is too much greasy fried & Mexican & BBQ stuff. She could do it when she was 19, but her body is changing now. She could afford a personal trainer and a chef, and she should definitely use both, just for her own health and feeling good about herself and her body.

But I could still listen to her belt out those high notes all day. Great voice.

Seen around London's picture

Is this why Clay Aiken suddenly went gay? Don't forget he was on the same tour as Kelly a few years ago and if she started sloshing her slime all over these dudes it would turn any one of them gay.

Whatever happened to Gayken anyway. No label, no tour, no bf, guess he got ginger fuck desease.

Whatever's picture

Not some very flattering pics of her.

deez's picture

That is one girl in SERIOUS fucking need of a stylist.

Not going to get into the weight debate here, but she just needs to dress better for her shape, that's all.

angel_i's picture

I still stand by my opinion that she doesn't look THAT big. She's not anywhere near a morbid obesity or anything like that...and when I see her sing, it seems to me it can't be that bad if she can still get her energy up like that. I mean - Britney lost a lot more weight but she doesn't put half the power into her performances. I would challenge most people - heavy or slim - to keep up with that.

That being said I think the problem is that it doesn't look right on her. Her face doesn't accept it and her arms don't look "pleasantly plump", they look bloated. She better watch out cuz her heart will give out on her sooner than later if she doesn't find some balance there...

♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics

LuLu Fitz's picture

I don't think Lohan's weight is anything to be desired either but how did Kelly let herself get that way when you know she has chef's at her fingertips and can have healthy food whipped up for her at anytime? It's not like the rest of us who have to cook while starving and then have to eat a bowl of lettuce while everyone else eats the lasagne you just made.

annenyc's picture

i hate the weight obsession too BUT she does look like the average chick at the mall whose idea of a healthy lunch is a cheeseburger and fries and a coke. in other words, she is the American standard of "average weight" which in the rest of the world is FAT. I think a healthy body image is good but you should also work to be HEALTHY. She does not look healthy. At that weight it's a good bet she's hitting the junk food on a regular basis.

"All of us are lying in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars."
-Oscar Wilde

areyouok715's picture

He posted a profile on a dating site sugarscupid. c o m . many of his fans were seeking for him and wanna date with him. now that club is very hot because of him.

shut the smurf up's picture

Submitted by LisaRose on Sun, 08/02/2009 - 4:07pm.
I' a size 4/6 and I'm Normal. Kelly is fat.
What I don't understand is what the fuck the fact that she is overweight, has anything to do with her abilitty to sing, she does not make my kind of music, but Girlfriend cansing.

....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K

MizRo's picture

I like Clarkson thin or not.

mandashell's picture

Some of you are so full o' shit!! LMFAO! Seems like people are so cruel because she was thinner and has gained weight. If she was this size when she started and lost weight then you would hear " OMG she looks amazing" or "OMG she is starving herself and selling out" Geez STFU you whiney, phoney bitches. No one cares what you think!!? Imagine that a celebrity who isn't obsessed with their appearance!! Gee golly the horror!!! You act as though she looks like some homeless hobo off the street! This woman won a contest based on her actual talent and not her looks. She can sing her freakin ass off and as long as she has that voice I will be a fan for life. ;') Get the fuck over it already. And clearly some of you lames can't wait for the opportunity to crack a "fat" joke like that is so special and original. I am sure it takes so much effort. Gawd I can't stand stupid/clueless people!! o.0 Whiney bitches! LOL!!!

"do unto others as you want done unto you "

cprincess's picture

She can be what ever weight she wants to be and she certainly represents America but why the fuck does she wear such unflattering clothes?
What is she about 4 feet high?

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

LisaRose's picture

I hope Kelly continues to be this NORMAL weight so the world can feel NORMAL again. KELLY RULEZ!!!

Team Valtrex's picture

How many poor defenseless pleathers had to die to make her top?

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

I can attest to the short thing. I am 5'1" and about 112 lbs...yet in photos I look chunky.

??????????????????????

"Submitted by Diarrhea Angel on Sun, 08/02/2009 - 8:54am.
She's not fat, just overweight. She's probably short, too; which makes her appear bigger. Don't cameras add an extra ten pounds, too? She's probably not very photogenic."

sofster101's picture

Of course like 99% of the comments relate to her weight.

I was going to say that at first glance, she looks like Barbara Streisand.

....but do those qualify as curves??? She looks like a fat toddler.

Vermithrax's picture

Gross. Like that Paris Hilton picture from the SUCIO post yesterday.

ewlulu's picture

She is just trying to kiss the way Paris Hilton taught her too. Full tongue out before the lips even meet, that is the Paris way!

chefcammi's picture

happy sunday all..

its almost as though she's deliberatly making fun of herself knowing that she'll bne ripped to shreds in the press for her weight..

~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
Baby @ 2 months
:)

Diarrhea Angel's picture

She's not fat, just overweight. She's probably short, too; which makes her appear bigger. Don't cameras add an extra ten pounds, too? She's probably not very photogenic.

Your existence proves that God has a sense of humor.

Juiciest Couture's picture

Is Sam Champion gay ?? Awwww. Too bad Chris Cuomo isn't - he is super hot !!

bo_tatoe's picture

Run boy, run! Considering her mass she has devoured several people and thinks you're next on the menu.

OK, this is an imressive example how Photoshop backfires. The more excessive pounds they cheat away from her promo photos, the more shocking it is to realize what a two-legged hippo she actually is.

jackdu2's picture

I recommend you a very interesting place ___Meetrich.com_____ It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!

Mother Superior's picture

I really don't think her figure is that bad, to be honest.
I think we've all seen MUCH worse :)

actually erika, fat people are the biggest drain on healthcare. i know fat people don't like hearing it but, it's true.
you've just been violated!

joe shmoe's picture

She's chunky and genetics means she's pear-shaped and extra weight goes to her bottom half. She's also quite short, wearing clothes that accentuate the chunk and she's being photographed. All three factors don't help, I guess.

I think she looks like she feels confident & happy and she for sure she's talented.

I wish these threads wouldn't turn into a tedious and earnest debate over the health pros and cons of fat v. skinny. It's all been said a million times, already.

************
"I smelled fraud from the moment I stepped into that shop. Actually, what I smelled was butter. Baker's butter. The high-fat, professional-grade Plugra kind.."~Will Upton, dessert blogger & whistle-blower.

this whole thing is pretty sad really. kelly clarkson is an attractive woman when she is in shape. but sadly, she clearly doesn't give a shit about her appearance anymore and it really shows. she won't ever have to worry about dating as long as her 2 boyfriends are named ben and jerry. although i hear another guy from germany named hagen daaz is courting her without their knowledge. this could turn ugly.
you've just been violated!

liverwurst's picture

Her body index is in the "life shortening" range. Girlfriend needs to put down the fork pronto.

ZiggyStardust's picture

WHERE ARE HER TITS?

=========================================

@ZiggyStardust:

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i

ReginaGeorge's picture

I think she mistakened his bronzer for bacon grease and decided to go for it.

christine the hoff's picture

tum, yumR hos,,

-------------------------------------------------

Fucka doodle-do.

Erika_Leigh28's picture

which reminds me i will never forget the words of this gay man i met on the street in boston. i was doing a promo for quaker oats diet cereal and i had to be the chick from the commercial dragging a scale attached to my foot. so this gay guy sees me and goes "girl why are u wearing a scale? u think ur fat?" lol i told him no i'm doing a promo. "oh good" he goes "cuz even though i'm gay i'm sick of women who look like boys!! ur a girl and you are SUPPOSED to have curves!!! lol he made my day.

Erika_Leigh28's picture

also in thumbnail 3 the way she is standing i think her body looks smoking hot there. much better than paris hiltons body type at least kelly looks like a woman and not a prepubescent boy

Erika_Leigh28's picture

coffey i agree with ur comment about the hate for fat ppl. it is their body and their health why does it affect others if they are wealthy enough that they aren't a drain on health care. what about smokers, drinkers and druggies. i'm pretty sure they are more of a drain on the health care system than fat ppl are. there are plenty of so called "healthy" ppl who have just suddenly dropped dead. look at jim fix the runner.

She is so pear-shaped it's not even a joke anymore

MayWest69's picture

enough said.

MayWest69's picture

jizz, you need help. mental help, bad.

eat my shmegna bitch. I have a kid on the way.

EatYourVeggies's picture

Well, people do look different in pictures. Actors and models and musicians have to stay underweight in order to look good on camera. If they are average weight, they start to look chunky in pictures and on film. If they gain a few pounds like Kelly, they look like blimps. So maybe in real life she doesn't look fat, but she does in the pictures and that's all anyone cares about anyways.

MayWest69's picture

jizz, you are your own crazy bitch. how many people run around inside your head?

To: ShandiRW

No, Kelly isn't tall. She's 5'3" or 4" so definitely not tall. Britney isn't tall either. She's listed at 5'4". Unfortunately for these shortish girls any weight they gain shows immediately.

sexytime's picture

I love the pics of her when she is full out belting out a note - she's one of the very few pop stars that I actually like and have some respect for.

vanyvrgs's picture

Sam Champion is the crazy fake person in these pics. Oh and hello to you all, it has been months. ____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.

An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!

Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com

I'm staying off the forum. That crazy bitch Sherry.

shandiRW's picture

Submitted by Jaxon on Sun, 08/02/2009 - 12:13am.
I have a friend who saw Kelly in concert, sat really close to the stage so really saw her up close. She was expecting this really chubby girl and was shocked at how SMALL Kelly was. She said not skinny by any means but that she looked like a girl with some meat on her bones but not in any way fat. She said Kelly is pear shaped and doesn't dress well for that shape but that she is much much smaller than she looks in her pics.
***************

is kelly really tall? i've read accounts that say britney is rather tall in person, has long legs, i'm sorry but i think she (brit) is beautiful anyhow. kelly gives off that cute vibe, i still love her.

***********************************
"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho

"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK