The Photoshop Awards: Jon Gosselin On InTouch
This terrifying photo of Jon Gosselin on InTouch is even making Shiloh sad. SAD SHILOH. Think of the messiahs!
It looks like they lazily sprayed Jon's face with a caramel frosting mist, stuck some swap meet-bought contacts into his eyes to cover up the blood shotties and then finished him off by dabbing his lips with Saaphyri's Lip Chap mixed with the thick tears from his nutsack. The end result is even making Kate Gosselin's possum head flash the sign of the cross while hissing in fear.
Anytheyshouldveshoppedabiggernutsackonhim, Jon also gave an interview to InTouch where he says Kate QUIT his ass and Hailey is the only trick he's banging on the regular. Here's some highlights. And by "highlights," I mean "grosslights."
Why did she want to break up?
I think she initiated the split because she wanted a career. Maybe I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, and she was going to move on regardless. I said, “Are you sure about this?”Did you want to work it out?
Yes, I asked, “What do I have to do to mend the relationship? What did I do wrong?” I was beating myself up about it. So I read a lot of books about personalities, like The Five Love Languages. Throughout the marriage, I felt like my personality had changed a lot. In December, I went to therapy. I asked Kate to come, but she didn’t want to. She said, “If you have a problem, go fix it.”When did you and Kate start living separate lives?
We went to Utah on January 1. On January 12, she flew back with security and I stayed. That’s when I started to just hang out and meet people, and feel free. Not too many girls, just with my guy friends. I couldn’t do that for nine years. When I came back on the 17th, Kate and I weren’t talking. So I just said, “I’m moving out of the house,” and that was it.What was your first relationship?
Hailey — it started around May. She is the polar opposite of Kate. It’s really different. I feel good about myself and people see my good qualities. I’m not being put down. If I want to go out with my friends, Hailey says, “Oh, go out.” I’m not used to that. I was used to, “No, no, it’s your fault.” Sometimes I ask Hailey permission, like I used to do with Kate, and she says, “You don’t have to ask permission.” I was used to living like that, and now it’s like a breath of fresh air. You can have a balanced relationship but also spend time with your friends.How did you fall in love with Hailey?
We started talking and got along well. I started getting really attracted to her, like, on the phone. She really listened to me and took in what I was saying. Then she came back to her parents’ house in May and I went up to see her. We hit it off. It was great. She is amazing.Kate Major said she was dating you.
I felt like, “Okay, I have a cool new person in New York and we can just go out for dinner.” Then it was a conflict of interest with her work. I have always been true to Hailey.When will you introduce Hailey as your girlfriend to the kids?
I think it would have to be after the divorce is finalized. I can’t just show up with Hailey. I think we all need a little routine in our lives. Right now, it’s helter-skelter. Once there is a routine, we’ll start off slowly, like going out to dinner. We are dealing with eight different personalities, and they will each handle it in different ways. They may never be comfortable.
Jon, please borrow on of your kids' old binkies and go bawl by yourself in the corner. This whole "wah wah wah" act is about to expire. Yes, Kate is the cunt of all cunts, but nobody puts a gun to his crotch and made him stay for so long. Actually, maybe she did. I wouldn't put it past her.
And I hope Jon introduces Hailey to his child army soon rather than later. Because I can't wait for the very special episode of Jon H8s Kate where Hailey shows the children how to make a bong using an apple during craft time. YAY!
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I really really really hate this guy. I can't beleive how many tramps he is f***ing with is tiny peen.
Bobby Trendy look-a-like. Thank you for that. I just couldn't figure out who he looked like and that was it.
I really hate that picture of him with Lohan. I HATE seeing ugly men in shorts with flip flops. No one wants to see their ugly hairy toes.
The hottest issue of divorce of one of the famous Hollywood couple Kate and Jon Gosselin is still on the tabloid for the past few months. Kate Gosselin just appeared on the Today Show, hawking the program that features her, her ex-husband Jon, and their children. Kate Gosselin went on to say that the marriage was doomed, and would have failed anyway, cameras rolling or no. At any rate, the ratings of the show have fallen off since they resumed filming, and Kate has insisted that she isn't exploiting her children – even though her plugs could increase ratings and therefore revenue of the show…that stars her children. Many people still insist Kate Gosselin is genuine, and isn't after quick cash by parading her offspring on camera.
She's an "extraordinary child"? In what way?
mk's descriptions are always so accurate!!
Submitted by twosie on Wed, 08/05/2009 - 7:05pm.
Michael K,
You should remove this cover from your website.
I've contacted the editors of this magazine about the exploitation of Shiloh. Everyone knows she is an extraordinary child but these tabloids make outrageous claims that are based on lies and rumors.
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I think you should set up a website called Jolie-Pitts Without Pity or J-PWOP so you can discuss the exploitation of the Jolie-Pitt children with other concerned citizens like yourself.
Submitted by twosie on Wed, 08/05/2009 - 7:05pm.
Michael K,
You should remove this cover from your website.
I've contacted the editors of this magazine about the exploitation of Shiloh. Everyone knows she is an extraordinary child but these tabloids make outrageous claims that are based on lies and rumors.
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O.M.F.G.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Get a grip, please. You can't be serious.
Please with this guy! How much more do we have to endure???
Submitted by mike on Wed, 08/05/2009 - 9:31pm.
so did Billy Ray.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 08/05/2009 - 9:24pm.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 08/05/2009 - 9:23pm.
I've figured it out: the photo-shop editors at InTouch were trying to make his eyes less asian.
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A process also referred to as the "reverse Miley".
Mark McLeod read that and got really excited. Really excited.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 08/05/2009 - 9:23pm.
I've figured it out: the photo-shop editors at InTouch were trying to make his eyes less asian.
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A process also referred to as the "reverse Miley".
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I've figured it out: the photo-shop editors at InTouch were trying to make his eyes less asian.
He looks like a brady bunch kid
put him in a square looking down at alice
shiloh is cute
suck it haters
i hate j. lo and mariah carey eat shit
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Oh, look-- Jon got one of those cartoon avatars made of himself and In Touch put it on their cover. Very edgey!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
He looks like a cartoon character.
*blinks*
falls off chair.
LOL! Is Twosie serious? I mean, after all, it is just a cover. I doubt Shiloh is much affected by it.
Wait. Is that post real?
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Michael K,
You should remove this cover from your website.
I've contacted the editors of this magazine about the exploitation of Shiloh. Everyone knows she is an extraordinary child but these tabloids make outrageous claims that are based on lies and rumors.
Those greasy lips make him look like he just went down on a can of shortening. Gross. He's such a spineless crosseyed freak, famewhore and liar. I wish he'd go away.
This lame jackass does not deserve all this attention. He was crying that he did not like the spotlight then he poses for the cover of this silly magazine crying like a little bitch.
Who cares?
You got to bring Jim, James, Paul & Tyrone...
Give me a fucking break. Maybe if you didn't have all those kids in your early 20's you could have had more free time for friends dumbass. I know Kate could be bitchy but this guy is a useless slug, she probably felt like she was raising a 9th child.
And I see the new PR firm he hired is earning it's keep setting him up with these classy In Touch interviews. And what's with "I have always been true to Hailey"? Always? Like forever? And he's still lying about when he and Hailey got together.
Douchetard is majorly fucking cross-eyed AND has greasy lips like he ate a pork chop with his hands tied behind his back.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Jon is regrettably stupid. Did anyone see this week's episode when he described waking up in an empty house and he said it was weird without all the chaos of the kids being there and he said "But I guess this is the lesser of two evils." So the greater of two evils is the kids??? He doesn't even know what he's saying. In fact, he's got nothing to say. For his segment they actually had to film the kitchen installers talking about getting hit on the head with a drill because Jon has nothing of interest to say. Whatever Kate's shortcomings, she is infinitely more interesting and more intelligent than Jon. I feel sorry for any of the kids that inherited his skills set.
I never watched this show (and never will) but I saw this dude on TV a while back and he has the weirdest fucking hair. It looks like a divot on a golf course - bald in the middle surrounded by alot of hair. Probably had plugs but they should have finished the job. Word to the wise Jon, forget Hailey go out and score all the puss you can score dude!
This guy is a big obnoxious turd...didn't we give this waste of space his 15 mins. already...geez...he still looks like a pig (sorry if I insulted any pigs...my apologies)...I swear he is so freaking fugly...it is scary..not only that he is BBOORRIINNGG...what did he do but not pull out 8 times, and now he gets all this media attention, dayum, enuf if enuf!! I can't even believe I comment on this turd, but the more I see him the more incensed I get...gawd, I really REALLY HATE THIS FUCKTARD!! Almost as much as Parasite, but Parasite gets the award for biggest waste of air...he is a close runner up...can he just disappear now..pretty please...
just take yours out of Kates purse Jon.
hehe Sibsi. I went ahead and googled the Intouch "titles" and supposedly Jlo lost 50lbs. and Angelina is holding onto Shilohs wrist quite tightly. shiloh looks uncomfortable
Coma Caca!!
Olá, Chirio!
I love the new picture!
And yeah, all the other stories seem much more intriguing than the Gosselin saga on this cover.
Oh, how do I want to know how J.Lo "got her body back" too.
I'm pretty sure it involved some tummy tuck, breast lift and body sculpturing technique, but I am always amused by their standard 'through diet and exercise' bullcrap!
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Chungking - Stay Up Forever
Sibsi: Hello. me too I wanna know about Shilohs sad face.
Coma Caca!!
So what's the "Sad Shiloh" headline about?
Yah, I'm more interested in that than this I must confess.
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Chungking - Stay Up Forever
**oops, I meant that she wanted matching cribs, not 6 that didn't match
IMO she "made" this bed, she can lay in it...for yrs she's been treating him like a piece of crap, so he probably snapped and is going crazy with the "freedom" he now has.
As far as that shopping episode...who the hell takes 8 kids shopping? Oh yeah, she does because she's busy making millions off of these paychecks by putting them in that situation! I have 3 kids and a lot of times I'll wait for my husband to come home from work instead of taking the kids with.
Anybody in their past that has put their 2cents in has always said she's evil. From the not wanting "matching cribs" that were donated to her to all the other donations that weren't "good enough" for her.
He deserves to go out there and get a little pussay without that haggard witch barking at him.
I'm so tired of this strange looking man.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
He looks beyond extra terrestrial in that pic...damn I need to purchase Photoshop and start sending my pictures to Maxim.
All cut the shit Jon! This "woe is me" bullshit. We all know your a dipshit douche. I can't see a woman like Kate just saying out the blue we are over. He deliberately went out with his tramps in public to get caught so she would file first and then he could say she filed not me. I don't believe anything he says. And didn't he say he wasn't talking to the press anymore? What an asshole. I'm sure your children will love you when they one day google you and see you with multiple women who aren't their mother and you giving interviews throwing her under the bus. It's obvious you just want to be a care free child and now trying to turn the blame on your wife. Ugh he disgusts me.
Submitted by stars101Sez_Iha... on Wed, 08/05/2009 - 11:49am.
Why does everybody want a piece of Jon Goselin? I don't get the attraction. Dude has 8 kids and a beer belly.
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I'm starting to believe that Jon's wang must vibrate, his cum must taste just like chocolate and his pheromones give off the scent of fresh baked cinnamon buns. THAT's how he gets the chicks. Kate's cooter is just too worn out to feel it and her constant bad-mouthing and screwed up faces ruined her sense of taste and smell. That's why she let that prize go. Anyhoo.... I was thinking that the cover looks like an old album cover, like something from Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. Cheesin' band leader....
"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."
You know, you don't have to "deal" with us if you don't want to. Little tiny x on corner of screen is your friend!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
intouch? how cheap of him...great! now i hate him more! yay! you did it again jon!
WONK!
No, just tired of dealing with dumb shitbags who don't even realize how stupid they come off. Even I have better things to do.
He didn't say "fail" either. I think he must be losing his cunt.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Oh Ricki- So very wrong, but so funny!
You forgot to pull the gay card ricki!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
"Submitted by Race Bannon on Wed, 08/05/2009 - 12:46pm.
Okay, but where does everyone stand on rape AND murder?"
Completely acceptable. The latter justifies the former. If they're already gonna die, why not have a little fun with them first?
iHeartHaters...I never made that claim. Putting your shitty 2-cents worth in hours after the fact is so tired. Way to have a point. No one cares. Thanks for playing.
He had so many people on his side for a long time. He went and fucked it up.
You can have a balanced relationship but also spend time with your friends.
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Sure, but then where do you put the 8 kids? In the closet?
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