Gat In The Gut
Meet 25-year-old jail inmate George Vera from Houston. Dude admitted to correctional officers that he hid a gun under his fat rolls before he was checked into the jail house. This was after the officers searched his ass at least 3 times after he was booked. FYI: I'm pretty sure he's a dude, but I don't think you'll find a police officer in the entire land who will want to jump in and confirm this. No takers.
A Houston police official said that they go through training on how to search fatty fat fatties, "We teach officers to lift up and look under. But the officer may not have arrested anyone this big before. They can be so big, basically short of strip searching or searching cavities, they could miss something like this."
600lb George, who was originally arrested for selling bootleg CDs, approached an officer during shower break and admitted to smuggling in the gun. George was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility and was released on bond.
You know, you have to give it up to George. Dude is working with what McDonald's, Taco Bell, KFC, Quizno's, IHOP and (insert every other fine restaurant establishment here) gave him!
And it doesn't state this in the article, but they also found the bullets in his belly button, a silencer under his right titty, a monogrammed sock with the initials J.H. under his left titty, Heidi Montag's dignity in one of his armpit lips, a butter churn in his crotch area (maybe that was his peen?) and the joo-ree missing from Lindsay Lohan's Elle photo shoot tucked into his back fat.
Source (Thanks Larissa)
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Stupid fuck...why did he admit to it if the cops didn't see it
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
Are the police even sure that this creature is really a guy. Take away the facial hair in the first mug shot and that looks like a woman,
Wouldn't even have to do that. It's not like he'd be the only Mexican woman to ever have a mustache.
Are the police even sure that this creature is really a guy. Take away the facial hair in the first mug shot and that looks like a woman,
Also, they jail tricks for selling bootleg CD's? Talk about stupid. The police should be worrying about serious crimes, like rape and murder.
Come at me bitch!
25 years old???
"Fatty, fat, fatties"!...hahahahaha M K you kill me.
He doesn't look that fat.
Submitted by Raul Duke on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:18pm.
Submitted by Race Bannon on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:14pm.
Uh, I hate to be stupid AND lazy (to google) but what in tarnation is a Funnel Cake and where do you get them?
-------------------------------------------------------- It's a deep fried treat found a state or county fair, try one and if you feel guilty after eating it the carny running the Tilt-a-Whirl will sell ya some meth to tweek off those extra calories.
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The best funnel ia at any Polish Church Bazaar, or the Englishtown Flea Market in Englishtown, NJ.
That's nothing. One time my dad found half of a grill cheese sandwich in a woman's back fat at the jail.
DEEP HO really IS A DUDE!!
Bwwwaaahhhaaa.
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That fucking funnel cake link crashed my 'puter! Funnel cake is at the top of my list of things that always smell better than they taste. After about the third bite, the thrill is gone.
1) Funnel Cake
2) Caramel Corn
3) Cotton Candy
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Hey Provolone -
Gawd knows what's in our water - if it can be true enough that growth hormones in our milk are making our kids hit puberty earlier, then just about anything is possible...one of these days you're gonna see flying rats (not pigeons)and 2-headed pizza-delivery boys...it's all coming.
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
What a waste of life.
Thanks everyone for the links! I feel fat just from the whole visiual experience. Now I HAVE to go to the gym after work.
Picture here: Yummy, now hungry...
http://funfareonline.com/Product-Funnel%20Cake.html
Thanks Crazy! It looks like an intestinal tract! Those must be like 2000 calories with the grease alone! I feel fat just watching that!
Submitted by Race Bannon on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:14pm.
Uh, I hate to be stupid AND lazy (to google) but what in tarnation is a Funnel Cake and where do you get them?
-------------------------------------------------------- It's a deep fried treat found a state or county fair, try one and if you feel guilty after eating it the carny running the Tilt-a-Whirl will sell ya some meth to tweek off those extra calories.
Funnel cake is batter poured into a pan of oil from a pitcher (the funnel) in a kind of scribble pattern, deep-fried, then covered in powdered sugar. Tastes like a zeppole but better b/c it's not as heavy.
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
Race, lol @ 'we don't get fat.' I think you're right, though.
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She's flat and that's that!
Race -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funnel_cake
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"Did you KNOW it is snowing in my room, god dammit!?"
suckandfuck,
The few posts that you've made here have me intrigued, and I would like to learn more about yourself and your family.
My mom recently had surgery to remove a fibroid and said she can't lift things, she said they really did some shit to her uterus so I said "you can't fuck either right?" she said "no", I immediately thought of my black stepfather, thinking this must be a bummer for him and said "yeah he better not, he'd probably tear you in fucking two" she laughed and made me promise not to tell anyone about it so if anyone asks you about this, deny it up and fucking down.
P.S. ITS FUCKING HURLEY IN THE PICTURE HOLY SHIT
@ Race
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xyplVdOGoI
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"If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I`m f—king my dog!" - Gerard Butler
"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!" -unknown
Submitted by loozer on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 11:46am.
On the bright side, he was being creative and taking advantage of his obesity. Maybe he likes being big, maybe that's just the way he Rolls (and rolls and rolls...)
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LOL!
He probably didn't know he had the gun at first - it was just sucked in by "his" gravity.
I am no skinny minnie, but I am one of those people who watches the fat-people exploitation shows on TLC, going "How do you get THAT fat?" Especially if you live with someone else...how do they not say, "Whoa, you're getting pretty fucking fat! I'm going to stop bringing fried chicken to your bed!"
Provolone- Ummm, no! This is not what a ghey face looks like fat, we don't get fat! (Just kidding), still, this is not a gay fat man, it is just an ugly fat slob, period.
Deep fried dough with syrup poured on top and then sprinkled with powered sugar.
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RIP Mr. Hughes.
Thank you for Farmer Ted.
You know what's really good...deep fried ice cream!
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"If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I`m f—king my dog!" - Gerard Butler
"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!" -unknown
Uh, I hate to be stupid AND lazy (to google) but what in tarnation is a Funnel Cake and where do you get them?
Submitted by Jeepster on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:07pm.
I've heard that they put estrogen in our food supply. So i'm thinking he's a guy exposed to a bunch of ghey chemicals. Or maybe this is what ghey face looks like in the fattie world....
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"Yes, as far as shitty music goes Michael Jackson made the best"- Howard Stern
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:10pm.
Friday is donut here and I had half of one. Raul is rockin' a belly but nothing like this pig!
I LOVE Funnel Cakes...yum, yum.
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*Blondeface*
Who said funnel cake? I love those things!!!
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
lol Plecostomus -
that would explain the anger, the gun, and the 'change of heart" (confession) - this IS a woman - "a woman WRONGED"!!!!!
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
EEG, good for you. I'll be sitting next to you on that bus.
FFS, if you're too fat to walk, then put down the funnel cakes and trying exercising.
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She's flat and that's that!
Buffalo Girl goes round the outside, round the outside.
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RIP Mr. Hughes.
Thank you for Farmer Ted.
Jack, thanks, but no thanks. I will not eat a funnel cake.
Shit, I'm still feeling guilty about the spoonful of mashed taters I ate wiff my pork chops last night!
*does leg exercises at desk*
Submitted by Jeepster on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:07pm.
Ya know guys - I would not be surprised if this actually IS a woman
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Seconded. She just needs a makeover and a good man to make her see the error of her ways.
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by Raul Duke on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:06pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:02pm.
Have you ever sucked the jelly out of a jelly donut and refilled it with cookie dough ice cream
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EW! Hell no! Shit, I can't even remember the last time I ate a donut. I know it's been at least 10 years, if not more.
*hands M.E. a funnell cake and some hand lotion*
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"Did you KNOW it is snowing in my room, god dammit!?"
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:07pm.
Bahahahahaha! EWWWWWWW!
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"If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I`m f—king my dog!" - Gerard Butler
"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!" -unknown
Submitted by Raul Duke on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:06pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:02pm.
Have you ever sucked the jelly out of a jelly donut and refilled it with cookie dough ice cream?
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If you have, you may be a fat ass.
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"Did you KNOW it is snowing in my room, god dammit!?"
Ya know guys - I would not be surprised if this actually IS a woman - the mustache could be explained by abnormally high testosterone levels - hormones in the morbidly obese are all out of whack - the excess weight causes a welath of hormonal problems - this might also be a glandular problem (thyroid) - the features are just so feminine.....spooky.
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
Jack - YES FUNNEL CAKES! I don't eat that shit so I fergotted what they were called.
Submitted by CRAZY on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:04pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:02pm.
Funnel cakes! Yummmm!
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Or if you climb inside this guy's fat rolls, you can find some tunnel cakes.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:05pm.
*smears Jack's face with strawberry syrup*
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"If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I`m f—king my dog!" - Gerard Butler
"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!" -unknown
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:02pm.
Have you ever sucked the jelly out of a jelly donut and refilled it with cookie dough ice cream?
Oh, I thought that was a really fat, really ugly woman with a raging case of PCOS. Hirsutism is a bitch to some women with PCOS, but no, that's a feminine-looking super fat guy.
I find his spaniard casanova bigote really funny and goes along with his shoulder-length curly hair. He sort of looks like a fat and fugly Antonio Banderas.
The endless possibilities of having shitloads of meat folds, eh?.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:02pm.
Gross. It boggles mah brainz thinking how these fatties pay for all that food!! Its why i laugh when people say people are starving in this country. Whatever.
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"Yes, as far as shitty music goes Michael Jackson made the best"- Howard Stern
*takes Crazy's powdered sugar*
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"Did you KNOW it is snowing in my room, god dammit!?"
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:02pm.
Funnel cakes! Yummmm!
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"If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I`m f—king my dog!" - Gerard Butler
"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!" -unknown
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:02pm.
Did somebody say FUNNELL CAKES!!!!!!!!!?
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"Did you KNOW it is snowing in my room, god dammit!?"
Submitted by Race Bannon on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 12:00pm.
JAZZFISH!!!!!!!!!!!Gross! Between that and MK's butter churn comment, I think I am going the anorexic route because I will never be able to eat again with those images in my head!
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No reason to thank me. I like to think of it as a community service.