I Can Haz Kitty Porn?
If you ever get busted by the cops, put on a Hazmat-made rubber glove, reach into Keith R. Griffin's pocket and pull out the "MAH PUSSY IZ 2 BLAME" excuse. The cops will laugh at you until they turned inside out, but at least you've entertained a bunch of police officers. That's what 48-year-old Keith did.
This dumb fuck was arrested and charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after detectives found about 1,000 pictures of child porn on his computer. Keith put the blame on his cat! This mega idiot said that he would regularly leave his computer on while he was away and his cat would jump on the keyboard. Keith said that whenever he would return, he would find strange shit downloaded to his hardrive. I CAN'T WITH YOU, Keith! Although, the more that I think about it, this does make sense....
The other night I was at my friend's house and I think her pussy made me smoke a joint filled with heaven's grass. I didn't want to, but it made me. And whenever I go to my mom's house, her cat (don't make me say the p word) makes me eat pounds of In-N-Out. Again, it forces me to do this against my will! I have no choice. Think about it. Look at Maru. That pussy is acting like he's so cute, jumping out of boxes and hiding in shit. You know he's up to some evilness. Maru is in those boxes making bombs and planning our demise. Cats are the EVIL of the world. Click. It all makes sense.
You know Keith is going to be sitting in a prison cell holding his freshly dicked asshole so that his organs don't fall out, while his cat is lounging around somewhere thinking, "That's what you get for switching my Fancy Feast to that generic shit." Payback is a PUSSAY!
Source (Thanks Benny)
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edit-sorry for the repitition...stupid laptop stuck on me
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
@ Shivonne...HAHAHA!!!!!
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
@ Shivonne...HAHAHA!!!!!
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
I found a great dating site_____Wealthyromance .com______where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true! u dont have to be a millionaire.but u can meet one. I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy___________________
Maybe his cat was trying to type in kitty porn and typed in kiddy porn instead. Bad Kitty!!!
Dude, I tried this already. I told Mr. IV that there was NO WAY I ordered hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise from Amazon.com and that it HAD TO BE the cat walking across the keyboard. FAIL!
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
may his nuts rot
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
Sorry to rain on your parade, but fuckers like this are seldom raped in jail. They isolate them from the other prisoners from the get-go. Human rights and shit.
And castrating them doesn't seem to stop them from fucking up kids, either. Fuckers don't need balls nor dicks to abuse these children.
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"Don't be afraid. I'm right behind you. Using you as a shield."
I'll be keeping "mah pussy is to blame" in the old memory bank for future court appearan... err, reference. Future reference. Yeah... that.
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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
Right! And cats steal babies breath while they sleep!!! Choose bunny!
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When I cannot find myself
And wish that I were someone else
I listen to him talkin’
kiwkim:
cats are evil i totally agree. they're vindictive, spiteful and they can get into your dreams and do horrible things to you. i mean this. i have a cat myself and although i love him when he dies, i DON'T want another one.
but downloading shit into ones computer is a bit far fetched! lololol
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"Honey, i am more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get"
Carwash 1976
See, this is why I'm a dog person :P
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Oh, really? And next I supposed he's gonna tell the judge his pussy's name was R. Kelly?
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Be careful when proving intellectual superiority that you don't reveal social retardation.
A cat stole my car once.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
My kittehs are always downloading CatFancyFelines and AlleyCatBoys. I tell them I will take away the catnip, they dont care! ;>
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 11:03pm.
Mani, if you get one, don't be fooled! That's what they WANT you to think! When you get up and leave the room, they're making long distance prank calls or hiding all of your left socks!
Bloody evil cats.
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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
You just know he had that story concocted from the first time he decided to save a pic. He said to himself: "You know, I'ma keep this one and if anyone ever finds out - I'll just say the cat stepped on the keyboard....that happens all the time|!"
Cut to 999 pictures later....
♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics
I don't have a cat but if I did it would be way to lazy to do anything on a computer other than lay across the keyboard or go after the fake fish on my screensaver.
Cats are evil. I totally believe him. My Dad's cat tries to trip people every time they walk down the stairs.
Damn those cats! My cat charged 5,0000 dollars to paypal accidentally when I was in the bathroom.
Tiger Lilly:
don't cats do the darnedest things? lolol!
___________________
"Honey, i am more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get"
Carwash 1976
Is this Miley's Boyfriend?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Maybe it was a spelling error. The cat wanted some Kitty Porn. It's an easy mistake...
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I'm telling you my cat manipulates me into doing the randomest things! Some people play dumb but this guy... he blamed his cat for God's sake!!
Dudes,
My cat ran a wicked ass Ponzi scheme out of my home office that would have outraged and disgusted Bernie Madoff! I shoulda known sumpin' was up when his din-dins consisted of Lobster Tails and Kobe beef filets whilst my ass was eatin' canned tuna...sneaky lil' bastid...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Blaming the cat??? Hmmm, that works for farts only.
Thankfully, he'll now be on a predator list and be watched and hounded till he's dead.
.
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mahaatma:
lolol actually he's a boy so i think i would have named him big pimpin in black except turner!
___________________
"Honey, i am more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get"
Carwash 1976
Submitted by gucci on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 5:15pm.
mahaatma:
oh please you think your cats bad? i just learned my cat has been running a stray female cat prostitution ring in my bathroom for years! i mean i know cats are sneaky but this is ridiculous!
that said, fuck this guy up the ass with my 5 pound curling iron when its hot!
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...aaahaahhahah!!!.....gucci, you shoulda just named that puss Heidi Fleiss!....
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"you're gonna LOVE my nuts!!! Vince, demonstrating the Slap Chop
*cries*
I want to be a granny too!
I don't even have kids! Whaaaaaaaaa!
mahaatma:
oh please you think your cats bad? i just learned my cat has been running a stray female cat prostitution ring in my bathroom for years! i mean i know cats are sneaky but this is ridiculous!
that said, fuck this guy up the ass with my 5 pound curling iron when its hot!
___________________
"Honey, i am more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get"
Carwash 1976
Submitted by mahaatma on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:44pm.
Miaowwwww!
No, honestly, I wish you all the best! Have a sip of champus ;)
HAHAHAHAH Gucci. I wish my cat was hardcore....she is the laziest bitch EVER.
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*Blondeface*
Young children? Not animals, necrophelia? Mmmh, that was probably the file the cat ate. See that's why I don't own cats- they get you in so much trouble.
Oh well, what's life without a grand dollop of the illicit? Not much in Keith's life I guess...
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:42pm.
Submitted by mahaatma on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:24pm.
outstanding! here's to us young, rocking grannies!
thanks guys!!!
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...I'll drink to that!....Dlisted grannies kick ass!!!....
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"you're gonna LOVE my nuts!!! Vince, demonstrating the Slap Chop
Uh, yeah, and my cat keeps turning off the alarm clock - that's why I'm late for work.
yeah, that's it.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
As someone who had a very 'different' kind of childhood than most I'd like to volunteer to permanently cure this asshole of his wicked affliction.
First the eyes scooped out, then the tongue cut out, Hands amputated at the wrists, feet at the ankles, dick and balls destroyed then mayhaps a hot curling iron up his ass?
My cat made me do it!
Wonder if the cat was also getting him high on catnip too, because that story could only be concocted by someone who is very high!
Submitted by Mother Superior on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:26pm.
Submitted by mahaatma on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:24pm.
Congrats!!!! Spoil him! :D
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...thanks Mother Superior, I will try my best...
...and, by the way, your avie is hysterical!...
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"you're gonna LOVE my nuts!!! Vince, demonstrating the Slap Chop
Submitted by mahaatma on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:24pm.
outstanding! here's to us young, rocking grannies!
thanks guys!!!!
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Fucka doodle-do.
Where's the reality show? Is he available? Call his agent.
His cat also bounced checks and forced him into bankruptcy.
<"Cats are the EVIL of the world. Click. It all makes sense.">
You missed the point. It's CAT OWNERS who are the EVIL of the world. Pay attention.
This guy is wasting my oxygen.
Submitted by mahaatma on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:24pm.
Congrats!!!! Spoil him! :D
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:20pm.
Submitted by Mother Superior on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:18pm.
YAY!!! Gran Hoff! Way to go!
Does the kid resemble you? ;)
it's currently the size of a nut, so......
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.....so yes!!!!!!!!
WOW!!!!
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:11pm.
Submitted by PeachPie on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:07pm.
WORD
yesterday, I saw the first ultrasound of my first grandchild.
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...High five girlfriend!!!.....me too, just yesterday - my only baby's having a boy!....life is good!...Congrats to you!...
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"you're gonna LOVE my nuts!!! Vince, demonstrating the Slap Chop
@ Christine! OH, I could only imagine :)
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*Blondeface*
Submitted by Mother Superior on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:18pm.
YAY!!! Gran Hoff! Way to go!
Does the kid resemble you? ;)
it's currently the size of a nut, so......
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Fucka doodle-do.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Sat, 08/08/2009 - 4:13pm.
congrats, Christine! That's so exciting!!!!!
thanks. and ITA regarding your thoughts, you don't have to be a mom or dad to feel stabby about this shit.
it's just this animal thing comes over you when you have a child, it's just a reflex thing....
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Fucka doodle-do.
YAY!!! Gran Hoff! Way to go!
Does the kid resemble you? ;)
So happy for you!!!