Madonna & Children
Yesterday in Italy, Vadge celebrated her 51st birthday by taking all the mouths she feeds out for a little boat road to a big yacht. Once they got the yacht, Vadge changed into her sexy granny swimsuit and made out with Baby Jesus in front of everyone. When Vadge sucked the life out of Baby Jesus, everyone's stomach shriveled down into a raisin and then fell out of their asses. But hey, it was Vadge's birthday, so she can make people feel vommy if she wants to!
And Vadge's old-timey parasol isn't just decoration, vampire zombie skin cannot be directly exposed to sunlight for more than a few seconds. So don't make fun! But seriously, this whole thing looks so fucking bizarre. I mean, Vadge's veiny log arms, her swim shorts, Baby Jesus, the fluffy white dog, all those children, the old timey parasol.... It's like I'm watching a David Lynch movie while on shrooms.
• 
Ewwwwwwwwwwww
The new kids are probably wondering who the hell the old lady and her son are.
Lourdes continues to look stunning for her age.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
What does the umbrella holder tell his family he does for a living, without his balls immediately shriveling up and jumping into a jar? "Uh, well, I hold a stick of ruffled nylon over the botox'd head of an aging, irrelevant, child-buying hag."
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"It's like I'm gently being butt fucked by a croissant." -MK
I'm glad to see she has someone on staff that knows how to do Mercy's hair. I wish Angelina would take note.
Pixie666: Dlisters are classy honey. We don't measure ourselves in money -- something that can easily be devalued ;)
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"DAAAAAAAAMN!!!! THIS IS SOME BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT!"
Ummm....
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"DAAAAAAAAMN!!!! THIS IS SOME BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT!"
Jesus always has the "duh" look - like the hamster in his head is really, really, REALLY tired.
Submitted by KittenKatinCanada on Mon, 08/17/2009 - 7:16pm.
David and Mercy are beautiful children, but they look uncomfortable around the crazy lady who insists they call her 'Mother'. She just makes me all kinds of sick.
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So true. Mercy looks confused and wants to go back home. I don't think she will ever settle into this makeshift family. You notice Guy Richie has been moving away from all of this mess. I don't blame him. Jesus better get away soon or Madonna will suck the coolness out of him too.
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
Submitted by Mahla81 on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 8:00am.
Notice how Madonna keeps lourdes 10 feet away from Jesus at all times!! Lourdes is never EVER close to him..shes not in any of the pics..
YOu know Lourdes is going to lose her virginity to Jesus in secret. OHHHHHH yes, the scandal! i can see it now...Lourdes is a little hottie and she is dressing sexier now that Jesus is around...you can almost cut the sexual tension with a knife!!!
Madonna should be ashamed of herself. Her relationship with Jesus makes her look absolutley pathetic ..and it will only exacerbate the jealousy she feels toward her stunning daughter.
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I was thinking about the same thing with Lourdes and Jesus, but I didn't want to say it out loud. But I can totally see it happening.
Madonna is becoming pathetic. Crying over Michael Jackson, stealing little children while trying to push her fake religion on people and getting skinny chicken arms. She is pitiful.
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
Submitted by crtb on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 8:48am.
Z's hair is a hot mess all of the time.
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Zahara just gave you the side-eye and will shank you in your sleep later.
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Bottom-feeder.
Please have Madonna teach Angelina how to comb a little black girls hair! Mercy's hair is always braided so nice and neat. Z's hair is a hot mess all of the time.
Can there be anything more nauseating than an antique fish who is still horny? Yuck!
On a brighter note; are there any nude photos of jesus?
Mahla81 - You're so right. Lourdes is totally gonna lose it to Jesus (or another one of Madonna's paramours). I cant wait for Mercy or David to write a "mommy dearest" tome.
If Jesus doesnt speak English, how do they talk?
I am a total 80's/90's Madonna fan but thats a bit much having an umbrella holder in the water with you and a lover a few years older than your own child.
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Resistance is Futile!
I love how ridiculous and vapid this woman can obviously behave and yet her die hard fans still defend her. The swimsuit, the umbrella, the straw hair, the arms, and the horrible plastic surgery that make her look like Jigsaw....the fans STILL think she can do no wrong.
Notice how Madonna keeps lourdes 10 feet away from Jesus at all times!! Lourdes is never EVER close to him..shes not in any of the pics..
YOu know Lourdes is going to lose her virginity to Jesus in secret. OHHHHHH yes, the scandal! i can see it now...Lourdes is a little hottie and she is dressing sexier now that Jesus is around...you can almost cut the sexual tension with a knife!!!
Madonna should be ashamed of herself. Her relationship with Jesus makes her look absolutley pathetic ..and it will only exacerbate the jealousy she feels toward her stunning daughter.
Notice how Madonna keeps lourdes 10 feet away from Jesus at all times!! Lourdes is never EVER close to him..shes not in any of the pics..
YOu know Lourdes is going to lose her virginity to Jesus in secret. OHHHHHH yes, the scandal! i can see it now...Lourdes is a little hottie and she is dressing sexier now that Jesus is around...you can almost cut the sexual tension with a knife!!!
Madonna should be ashamed of herself. Her relationship with Jesus makes her look absolutley pathetic ..and it will only exacerbate the jealousy she feels toward her stunning daughter.
Notice how Madonna keeps lourdes 10 feet away from Jesus at all times!! Lourdes is never EVER close to him..shes not in any of the pics..
YOu know Lourdes is going to lose her virginity to Jesus in secret. OHHHHHH yes, the scandal! i can see it now...Lourdes is a little hottie and she is dressing sexier now that Jesus is around...you can almost cut the sexual tension with a knife!!!
Madonna should be ashamed of herself. Her relationship with Jesus makes her look absolutley pathetic ..and it will only exacerbate the jealousy she feels toward her stunning daughter.
Madonnas net STDS (how she accumulated all that wealth by selling sex and being the queen ho): 12 million including her own variety and breed of herpes and cooch lice.
Average STDS of a d-lister: non, nada, zip.
The Queen ho wins yet again, I hope Jesus enjoys his lifetime Valtrex prescription and having his dick turn green, no amount of money is worth that IMHO
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Yeah.... I was thinking the EXACT same thing.
@ tojo
And that's why we're ragging on her instead of the other way around...it's ok, I'm sure she'd defend you just as much if somebody was funnin' on you...not.
And yeah, we all make $7.50 around here! How'd you know...
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Um....funnin? Never mind don't explain.
So, it's ok 'raggin' on a person you've never met? Right. Defending her? Not quite.
Oh, how'd I know? Your right, silly me I'm SURROUNDED by scholars......
Dlisted ﾜﾊﾞｶﾃﾞｽ!!!!!!
Submitted by pixie666 on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 1:53am.
HILARIOUS!!!!!!
Madonna net worth $325 million
Dlister posters: $7.50 p/h working at 'fine' establishments such as Walmart, WetSeal and Taco Bell....
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And that's why we're ragging on her instead of the other way around...it's ok, I'm sure she'd defend you just as much if somebody was funnin' on you...not.
And yeah, we all make $7.50 around here! How'd you know...
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the end...
Submitted by Flambeau on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 12:17am.
She sells sex thats why she is so popular among the Vadge rabble and pleb supporters. The music industries version of Hugh Hefner.
She also adopts babies and sleeps with holy men in order to create scandal and keep her name in the papers, in order to stay relevant. Its scandal not talent that keeps people interested in Vadge
***********My pet hates: Vadge, the Holie-Shitts, Katherine Hagel and Terribly Retarded Knight*********************
Submitted by pixie666 on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 1:53am.
Madonnas net STDS (how she accumulated all that wealth by selling sex and being the queen ho): 12 million including her own variety and breed of herpes and cooch lice.
Average STDS of a d-lister: non, nada, zip.
The Queen ho wins yet again, I hope Jesus enjoys his lifetime Valtrex prescription and having his dick turn green, no amount of money is worth that IMHO
***********My pet hates: Vadge, the Holie-Shitts, Katherine Hagel and Terribly Retarded Knight*********************
HILARIOUS!!!!!!
Madonna net worth $325 million
Dlister posters: $7.50 p/h working at 'fine' establishments such as Walmart, WetSeal and Taco Bell....
That annoys me, snooty celebrities having people around that hang umbrella's over their head. What, they're too weak to carry those things themselves? Surely that's not the case for Madonna. It's just giving off the message: I'm better than you.
I think Madonna is God... but the bitch cannot dive.
ha!
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Wyle E
"If you don't have a full-time fuck partner, why not take a few part-time jobs to keep the genital area active in the community.""
Oh please she is Madonna! Ya'll just like to drag her down because you're jealous. If she wasn't an excellent performer her concerts wouldn't sell out. And the reason your hairdresser went is because no matter how much he lies about hating it, his gay gene wouldn't let him miss it. Also at all of her concerts I've gone to the entire stadium is hot because everyone from the floor to the ceiling is dancing and singing. How original, a hairburner creating drama. How sad you believe him. But, those pics do look like a Benetton ad. just saying...
I love you Mommie Dearest.
He looks like he's trying to morph into Brad Pitt.
She looks like she lures children into a gingerbread house. Hell, if they turn her down for ehr next adoption and make it stick, she might start doing that.
And I totally agree with the hate for this bitch. It's not hateable enough that she looks like a piece of moisturized beef jerky, is talentless, arrogant, stupid, bitchy, low-class, has no personality of her own, and is generally a big botoxed bag of hot air. She has to adopt kids she doesn't give a damn about and pose with them like they're handbags.
you can almost see the hair growing on her lip....
why does she only adopt black kids?
what?!?!?!?!/..... ???
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pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK
Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 08/17/2009 - 10:17pm.
Rocco. He's managed to escape, but will undoubtedly be recaptured and re-educated.
hahaha. I just wasted some time trying to see if he's with dad, but no luck. Rocco was with M in Paris last month.
Submitted by quickkill on Mon, 08/17/2009 - 10:08pm.
Isn't there another kid ? Guy Richie's son with Madonna ? Where is he ?
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Rocco. He's managed to escape, but will undoubtedly be recaptured and re-educated.
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Bottom-feeder.
Isn't there another kid ? Guy Richie's son with Madonna ? Where is he ?
putas, I bet the jealousy has already started. Lourdes is much more beautiful than Madge could ever dream of being, plastic surgery or NOT.
are all 3 of these kids potty trained...not too sure if baby jesus is...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
Well...
Lourdes is very pretty.
Madonna's got that entire Cher / Pryscilla Presley shit going on with her face in thumbnails #3, #13 & #14.
Nasty.
She ought to get some money back from her cosmo docs.
Bitch may have all the $$$$ in the western hemisphere, but ain't no way of paying Father Time to stay away.
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I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard
These asswipes that need an umbrella person are seriously fucked up. On the upside, at least the dude has a job.
Submitted by Manbearpig on Mon, 08/17/2009 - 8:20pm.
This made me LOL. Thanks.. and the umbrella is ridic. How about some SPF fucking 100 and I dunno, just stay out of the ocean at high fucking noon instead? Eh.
her face in one shot, with the sun dappled on the weird skin texture. Looks like texture of a rubber chicken. The cheek implants are horrendous. Lourdes is what, 8 years younger than Madonnas fuckpiece? Yeah. I wonder when the jealousy towards her kid will kick in. A mother as obsessed with her looks as Madge (as proven with the all the surgery) has to suck.
Lookey at Baby Jesus striking a pose...WORK IT, GIRL...And what's with Madonna's buldykini???? I mean, I know she's elderly and all, but fem it up to a skirted one piece and a flowered swim cap...It would totally fondly remind Jesus of his granny...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
She looks like an Atlantic City beach-goer in 1920. I'm surprised her lackeys don't have spats and bowlers.
i didnt get to read all the posts here so i will ask: does baby jesus look like a bizarro jason priestly in the first pic or is it just me? O.o
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
read the rest of MK's post, cant.stop.LOLing help!
"by taking all the mouths she feeds" ahahaa!
And these pics: sad. So Angelia Jolie 2007.
Why force these poor kids into her religion? I say let kids decide what religion, if any, they want when they grow up.
She looks like Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.
I don't understand why she didn't have an entire awning, built for the occasion.
My hairdresser attended one of her concerts, expensive tickets to boot. She kept the temp high, as it was best for her. Everyone in the audience was sweating and heated. It was a sauna, and he was pissed.
While I find these pictures really bizarre, I don't understand why everyone finds the shirt with her name on it so appalling. How many people do you know who walk around with a jersey that has their name on it? While she very well may be egotistical, I don't think wearing a shirt with her name on it proves that!
Submitted by madam s. on Mon, 08/17/2009 - 7:54pm.
I bet they found out the hard way that Madonna's umbrella holder couldn't swim. They had to hire a new one later in the day.
LoL, I wonder how much money professional umbrella holders make...looks like an easy gig!
She looks really terrible. I bet she's under strict orders from her plastic surgeon not to get any sun on the "work" she's had - hence the black umbrella. I feel so sorry for those adopted kids. Can't wait for one of them to write a big fat expose' in another 20 years. Yeah, and Lourdes is gonna totally steal Jesus away. Any day now Vadge is gonna start clawing Lourdes' eyes out with sheer jealousy.