Kourtney Kardashian Just Won't Shut Up
When the doctor finally delivers Kourtney Kardashian's baby, he's probably going to wonder why chunks of its umbilical cord are missing. You tell the doctor that baby had no other choice but to tears off pieces of it to stick in its ears, because Kourtney would not shut the damn hell up!
Since Kourtney announced that she is knocked up, she hasn't stopped talking. If you drive by her house, you'll find her standing out front, mindlessly blabbing to the air. If you threw a soda can at her head, she'd keep on yapping. She wouldn't even notice.
Some pregnant women get morning sickness, but Kourtney has morning/noon/night sickness, because she won't stop barfing up words!
We already know way too much, but Kourtney is still telling us more. Here's a few quotes from just the past couple of days.
Kourtney to Life & Style: "My baby saved my relationship!"
Kourtney to UsWeekly: "I think I'd pose nude while pregnant. I think so. I'd have to think about it."
Kourtney to UsWeekly: "You know what's weird? Like, I always thought, like, if I was pregnant I would eat like, McDonald's or like, Taco Bell all day long or something. I'm not craving those things. Like, I've been craving, like, cold stuff like frozen yogurt and smoothies and like, I've been eating way more fruit then I used to eat before."
Kourtney to E! Online: "I don't think I have ever changed a diaper."
Kourtney to E! Online: "I used to think, ‘Oh, just get a C-section and it's done and easy and whatever.'"
Kourtney to E! Online: "I got tuna on a bagel and pickles and sauerkraut and then bagel chips dipped in thousand island dressing. But after that, I literally went home because I was so tired. I made Scott come home and take a nap with me."
Kourtney to People: "Definitely you want to spoil your kids. But I want them to learn responsibility and want them to make their own money. My dad taught us that."
Kourtney to People: "I think I am strict. "Even [my younger half-sisters] Kendall and Kylie say, 'You are going to be the meanest mom,' because one time at Disneyland I yelled at Kendall because she was throwing a brat attack, because my mom wouldn't buy her a Tinkerbell shirt ... I was like, 'That's not how you teach your kids!' "
Kourtney to the birds flying by in the sky: "Blahblahblah....like blahBABY...like blahblahblahBABY"
• 
nevermind.
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 08/22/2009 - 9:39pm.
The funniest is that everyone is talking about Khloe being a yeti or wookie. Kourtney will be so pissed that no one's talking about HER and her fetus
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You forgot "Sasquatch"
LOFUCKINGL!!!
MayWest69
is sexay
but who am i
just little kittymuffin
Oh, MayWest69, stop that and help me here. It's time for vespers, and after that we're playing Bingo for Bozos.
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Bottom-feeder.
plecostomus, right.
playground bullies. that is what this site has become. the fact that you are all proud of that shit is pathetic. esp thornhill, who is suppose to be a straight man. sad sad little man. how can you call the father of her child out when you are nothing but a rent boy yourself?
The Dlisted comments on her site are fucking HILARIOUS. Mr. Hekki is shaking his head at me for laughing so hard. The tears are streaming down my face.
The funniest is that everyone is talking about Khloe being a yeti or wookie. Kourtney will be so pissed that no one's talking about HER and her fetus.
Everytime she talks about her baby, God kills a kitten.
I heart Dlisted. it's true.
~Zoe
http://www.myspace.com/misszoesimone
http://twitter.com/Zoe_Simone
She is such a dumb bitch. My baby saved my relationship? Fucking idiot...you do not use a baby as a band-aid to heal a piss poor relationship or any relationship in general. She just needs to shut the fuck up with her stupidity. Harsh...I know.
Submitted by i_heart_jack on Sat, 08/22/2009 - 5:45pm.
A lot of the comments from yesterday have been deleted, including mine. There are very few from Dlisted-ers left.
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Still there. I almost hate you for making me look but, you're still there too:)
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
A lot of the comments from yesterday have been deleted, including mine. There are very few from Dlisted-ers left.
I got a pain in my jaw from laughing at the dlister comments on her site. I'm not normally mean-spirited but holy shit, I still have jaw pain!
bless you all!
Did she really say all those "likes" to UsWeekly? The reporter's ears must have fallen off in the middle of that sentence...she sounds like a total bimbo (I'm really not surprised either)...even reading that shit made me feel stabby at her poor grasp of the English language.
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
@AI...All I know is that it was funny as hell. Dlisters are officially "Blog Bullies" and I'm glad to be part of the gang. We be out...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Do leave it out, knock it on the head, have a word and wind yer neck in you minty bastard...
Submitted by Thornhill on Sat, 08/22/2009 - 10:51am.
....The Dlisted Fam had their own version of a Viking raid on there last night....
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ARRGH! I thought we be pirates!
But Vikings is good too:)
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
Bum on Skidrow!!!
Bruce Jenner's plastic surgeon!!! BWAHAHAHAH! And I love 'the only channel we get in hell is E!' This is too funny.
On August 21, 2009 7:08 pm, Morticia Adaams said:
I have a name for the baby: Khloe’s dinner.
OMG!
OMG Provy - “I’d rather go naked than wear Armenian forearm hair” LOL!
and this one from robert Kardashian "Kourtney, you made me the laughing stock of hell."
Alright I can't keep posting the hilarious ones - there's too many!!! Get thee over there and read them before they go. Morticia LOL! Farrah, Thornhill OMG!
@ES...The comments are all there just scroll to the bottom of the page you will see a link saying newer comments, just keep hitting that....The Dlisted Fam had their own version of a Viking raid on there last night....
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Do leave it out, knock it on the head, have a word and wind yer neck in you minty bastard...
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 08/22/2009 - 7:24am.
*wipes tears of laughter*
I missed most of the posts that were deleted but there are still some there.
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I just looked (cuz it's funny, man). I don't think they were deleted. There are three pages of posts. There's a link to Newer Posts at the bottom of the page for anyone innerested.
Frankly, I think we should do that more often:) It's fun and educational for the masses.
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
*wipes tears of laughter*
I missed most of the posts that were deleted but there are still some there.
Dlisted whores at work is a wonderful thing! I bet MK gets a nasty email from this dumbass. LOL He'd love that...
@shandiRW: I was straight up (as I can be when I'm being so bitchy) angel_ifromDListed:)
I think it's that Inglorious Basterds ad. It's making me warmonger;p
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 08/22/2009 - 1:22am.
OMG - this is priceless:
On August 21, 2009 8:32 pm, viva viagra said:
Oh yeah, and someone who goes by the name of Lauren Conrad needs to be telling others to get a life.
If people don’t want to get comments like this on their sites, then maybe they should put a hault to the verbal diarreah coming from their insipid mouths.
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Whodat? Fess up
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who you be?
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
loves it!
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
OMG - this is priceless:
On August 21, 2009 8:32 pm, viva viagra said:
Oh yeah, and someone who goes by the name of Lauren Conrad needs to be telling others to get a life.
If people don’t want to get comments like this on their sites, then maybe they should put a hault to the verbal diarreah coming from their insipid mouths.
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Whodat? Fess up.
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
Submitted by Snarf on Sat, 08/22/2009 - 12:55am.
Jesus Christ. Does this stupid twat ever have a so-called thought that she doesn't have to verbalize?
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I'd like to believe that at one point she tried to internalize, but she was already so full of shit everything else had no choice but to come gushing out of her gaping maw.
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Bottom-feeder.
Jesus Christ. Does this stupid twat ever have a so-called thought that she doesn't have to verbalize?
god. some ppl don't know when to shut their mouths. although it is great to poke fun at others when they cant stop yammering.
Blank Label - Custom Men's Suits and Dress Shirts
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Men's Lifestyle and Fashion Blog
http://blog.blank-label.com
i actually don't mind the kardashians, kim and her ass fat is stupid, but kortney and khole are the ones that make me watch. TEAM KHOLE.
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
She must be enjoy all this focused attention. Until earlier this week, no one who didn't watch the show even knew if she could speak.
Now she can't STFU.
Stupid knocked up slut. Who gives a **&^%% about you ?? Why do you have a dam reality show ??? It is unbelievable. Because her daddy was OJ Simpson's defense lawyer ?? Because the ghost of Nicole Simpson Brown struck cancer in him and Johnny Cochran ?? WHO CARES !
oh your dad taught you that? you mean the one who got OJ simpson off for murder? oh ok.. what a dumb twat. i like how she THINKS shes actually famous and she acts like shes the only one who has ever gotten knocked up. get over yourself bitch!
in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! and support animal shelters<3
Submitted by get serious on Fri, 08/21/2009 - 9:54pm.
Contents of my posting on the Kourtney FATASSian website:
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very, very niiiiice
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Although not to be the party-pooper, I have to say that one comment about how her dad deserved to die was kind of cruel. I didn't agree with him defending OJ either, but that comment really lacked humanity to me.
On a cheerier note, whoever is Morticia Adaams is making my night. Thank you!
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Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Mon, 06/15/2009
It's like trying to put Herpes in its place, when you're syphilis.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 08/21/2009 - 10:49pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 08/21/2009 - 10:24pm.
angle! *smooches*
Where'd you get that quote? I can't see it on KHole's site.
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*smooches back*:) (and where did TITS go? I thought she was hanging around in here....
At the bottom of the first page is a link: Newer Posts. I got lost like that too....
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 08/21/2009 - 10:24pm.
angle! *smooches*
Where'd you get that quote? I can't see it on KHole's site.
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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
AHAHAHA, I love how I can tell which comments came from your Dlisted hoes on her site. XD Love it!
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Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Mon, 06/15/2009
It's like trying to put Herpes in its place, when you're syphilis.
ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 08/21/2009 - 10:36pm.
Someone on Kuntney's site spelled her sissy's name Khole.
K HOLE!!!!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!
*collapses twitching*
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LOLOLOLOLOLOL~! I totally missed that!
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
Someone on Kuntney's site spelled her sissy's name Khole.
K HOLE!!!!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!
*collapses twitching*
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
GET A LIFE!!!
Lauren Conrad has spoken!:
WOW! anyone who had anything negative to say on here is REALLY pathetic! did you really take time out of your life, log onto this website, just to make disgusting comments to make yourselves feel better about your boring, empty lives. maybe you should go out and make some friends instead of wasting your day commenting on peoples sites that your just jealous of! but i hope the desperate comments made you feel better about yourselves! you guys obviously need the self esteem boost and maybe you should think about getting a life!!!!
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
Band-Aid baby never saved any relationship.
♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫
Crazy/Forever
Submitted by TheHeckler on Fri, 08/21/2009 - 9:22pm.
Don't know who else has been on that kuntsharidans or whateverhernameis's site, but it's been a blast. Peace, everyone. I'm out.
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You a funny ho! LOL! I just found the new ones. Double LOL@Robert Kardashian.
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
Contents of my posting on the Kourtney FATASSian website:
"Dear Kourtney,
I’m usually not one to complain about most things, as I never sweat the small stuff. However, after having read your immature comments online, I’ve got to say that you’re heading for a disaster. “My baby saved my relationship”; are you kidding me? That statement alone tells me you have not considered having a child in the long term. A child is not a pet or a fashion accessory; it’s a 24/7/365 job. Also, while a blessing, a child puts a strain on any relationship, regardless of how strong or weak it is. According to you, your boyfriend wouldn’t commit to you alone & wanted to play the field some; don’t think that by having a child he’s going to suddenly change his ways. What will probably happen is, you’re going to find out he’ll be the same immature guy he was before he knocked you up; you’ll be breaking up with him about the time you have your child. So, get used to the idea of being a single mom. Also, you’re not going to have time now to “hit the clubs” or to do publicity. So, get used to not being able to be the “center of attention” or to be able to famewhore anymore. Unfortunately for you, the pampered life you’ve known is now over; the reality of being a parent & having to be mature and think of someone else before yourself awaits you…"
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
"My baby saved my relationship!"
OMFG what a fucking moron.
hmm, i think someone caught on. my comments have been deleted on there. dem bitches!
Don't know who else has been on that kuntsharidans or whateverhernameis's site, but it's been a blast. Peace, everyone. I'm out.
*wipes tears of laughter away*
Submitted by Thornhill on Fri, 08/21/2009 - 8:45pm.
@all you ho's... Your comments on the Kuntdashian site has me in tears...keep up the good work...
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What Thorny said.
Brings a tear to my eye, it does.
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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
@Thorny: Agreed. I'm so glad for the entertainment. It be the Playa Haters Ball up in there, yo:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc5ShIhUkL8&feature=PlayList&p=5A3EA3155C...
(totally bootleg - best quality I could find. SoR-RaY!)
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46
@all you ho's... Your comments on the Kuntdashian site has me in tears...keep up the good work...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Do leave it out, knock it on the head, have a word and wind yer neck in you minty bastard...
@kiv: Like, for real.
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, if an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor. No, on second thought I'll shoot him and then say "This." #46