Blohan Got Robbed Again
For the second time in three months, LiLo's Casa de Cokey has been broken into by a bunch of thieves! When she got home from NYC this morning, she found out that some hos had ripped the safe out of the wall and stolen a bunch of watches. Apparently, it was all caught on surveillance video.
LiLo did the first thing you do when you've been robbed, she called Michael Lohan. Probably because she figured his ass did it.
Michael called 911 and then he called TMZ (of course). Michael said he believes it's an inside job, because Blohan's assistants conveniently forgot to turn the security system on. Then Michael said something that proves he's either: a) still on the bad shit b) got the crazies in a serious way c) is just trying to get his daughter to pay his car note or d) all of the above. This is what Michael said, "I am not going to put up with individuals violating my family. Lindsay is a charitable, generous person that always gives. This is a personal violation and it has got to stop." The answer is "D," right?
If by "charitable and generous," he means that she sometimes let's her friends snort a third of her line, then okay. The Saintress of 8 Balls is Lindsay Lohan.
Michael Lohan wasn't the only one who was going to get a little attention from his daughter getting robbed. Nope, White Oprah put on her shiniest shoes and tap danced over to People to sing her statement about the whole thing. White Oprah queefed, "Ali and Linds just left me in New York, and left people in charge to pack, as we are moving her to a safer place. She is okay, but upset."
LiLo needs to find a different surface to do her bad shit off of, because breaking dozens of mirrors has given her centuries of bad luck! But seriously, whoever broke in was probably just stealing their shit back from her.
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lol this is my first time on this site..and im liking your humor..you make the stories so funny....lol @white oprah put on her shiniest shoes and tap danced over to people mag...haha
what's left in her house that she hasn't already pawned off for crack money? she is genius for scamming on insurance fraud, times two.
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:51am.
Those new lips make her look fat--or a skinny person with a fat person's face... Am I the only one who thinks most women look best with the lips that they were born with? Too many duck-billed platypusses out there
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I agree. I've never seen any that look remotely natural.
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Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.
Galiléo
Papa Lohan you da'man hiring PI's- he probably hired hair plugs Gosselin and meth eyebrows Glassman to investigate the burglary in between bong hits, and the exchange of crabs,and our beloved White Oprah will start a new talk show explaining how her her daughters break-ins started her on the road of addiction, and how she snorted up all her daughters money. And poor Lindsay will run into the arms of her boyfriend SamMan (after filing the bogus insurance claim from the stolen safe her crack pack stole) and the two will live happy ever after.
The End
Snideychick sez:
It's not just the injected crap in her lips that's making her face look fat. It's the sun damage/drug usage/starvation that's breaking down the natural collogen in her skin causing her face to sag. Look at the area under her chin and below her cheek.
No 23 year-old should have that much droopy skin UNLESS they were obese and lost a lot of weight.
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:51am.
Those new lips make her look fat--or a skinny person with a fat person's face... Am I the only one who thinks most women look best with the lips that they were born with? Too many duck-billed platypusses out there...
The robbery--who cares, drama...
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I thought the same thing, even though she is far from fat, the lips make her look as if she had gained 10 lbs on her face.
The trout pout is a horrible epidemic:
http://izismile.com/2009/01/26/girls_with_silicone_faces_47_pics.html
I don't understand that anyone who has seen Lindsay walking around with very expensive bags and rolex and cartier watches could think that there's nothing in her house to steal. The girl has a lot of very expensive accessories. Maybe they were also looking for drugs.
Come at me bitch!
I call bullshit on this so-called burglary of this piss colored hair attention whore. First of all, she called Daddy (someone she has publicly stated she wished would shut up and leave her alone). Second, the only thing she might have worth stealing would be her coke stash and what dumbass calls the cops to report their drugs have been stolen?
And shouldn't her teenage sister be in school? They came home at 3am - California has curfew laws for minors.
Someone put this waste of oxygen family in a hot air balloon and send them on their way to nowhere.
I bet this "robbery" was staged for the insurance money.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
If Heidi Montag is getting "gigs" anyone can, even this dirty little duck billed platypus!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Livin' La Vida Lohan!
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Bottom-feeder.
Do you think Blohan could even get a Playboy gig nowadays? She's lookin' worse every day.
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
Who does this cunt think she's fooling with her new duck lips? Did she really think people wouldn't notice she has fake injections? She is in the news EVERY FUCKING DAY.
Well, this is the kind of shit that happens with you run with the crowd Lindsay's running with - aka drug dealers & users. This is probably also the result some sort of karmic justice taking place after all the shit she's supposedly stolen from various people & places.
Ego...
Submitted by Miss Molly on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:31am.
WHY does someone who barely works need assistantS???
Those new lips make her look fat--or a skinny person with a fat person's face... Am I the only one who thinks most women look best with the lips that they were born with? Too many duck-billed platypusses out there...
The robbery--who cares, drama...
WHY does someone who barely works need assistantS???
If this train wreck does have assistants, I suggest they never put this job on their resumes, because they are FAILING. She's a disaster.
Finally, where does she get the money to not only pay people but be worth robbing?!
I'd say the only inside job on this is that it never happened - Michael be lie telling to make it seem like Blohan Hohan would actually call him in a time of "need."
wat she need a watch for?
There are only two times:
Daytime
Partytime
Submitted by jussayin on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 6:56am.
who BURGLES broke people?
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Right! I mean what can she possibly have in her house worth stealing?
Coke and booze: She doesn't have any which is why she isn't home. She's out getting more.
Bottles of Sevin Nyne: You can't give that shit away.
Polaroids of SamRo's panocha: Ewww, no thank you.
Submitted by vidz on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 6:51am.
Hey did anybody happen to see project runway's first ep? she was the judge and there was a contestant, Ari who looked EXACTLY like a wynona/samRo hybrid.
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Yes!! It's a wonder she didn't jump up on the stage and start dry humping Ari's leg.
who BURGLES broke people?
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We can do it, it's all up to us mmmkay
With a little plan we can change our lives today
Hey did anybody happen to see project runway's first ep? she was the judge and there was a contestant, Ari who looked EXACTLY like a wynona/samRo hybrid. I'm surprised Lohan didnt jump on her. Pussy partner replacement: Check!
Homegirl probably smells like Pantene, cocoa butter and three kinds of Victoria's Secret body spray...
I think just about everyone in the Lohan family is currently using drugs in a major way. She called him of all people and then he turns around and calls TMZ? Cokey messes all of them. Didn't some shit go missing a couple of months ago from a photoshoot she was doing? Skeevy drug addicts rip each other off all the time.
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I am not a pussy.
Jon Gosselin's ex gf did it.
Seriously? He called TMZ ?? WTF
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 4:17am.
i only have one question...
are the black kid's pants(that aren't hers) safe and sound?
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Haha! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I read somewhere that, due to their amazing jail dodging powers, she locked them away in a secure Swedish bank vault a long time ago. Along with her dignity.
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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
i only have one question...
are the black kid's pants(that aren't hers) safe and sound?
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"Jesus built my car, it's a love affair,
mainly jesus and my hot rod
yeah, fuck it!"
she so needs to get back to work, hopefully the short stint will help her. people were saying she was really pathetic for that film to go straight to cable, yet Drew Barrymore's Grey Gardens was felt to be a big plus for Drew.
1 of the only things I like about Lindsay is that she isn't afraid of making a fool of herself, she's
ok with the mud being thrown in her face, fine with physical comedy. BUT-she needs to keep her hair red, otherwise her hair is "wannabe starlet" hair.
Her face is fat even when she's skinny, how odd.
intellectually driven passion, passionately driven intellect
Uhhhh...Linds....uhhh....close the door...put the key in the lock and turn it.....door is locked! Magic!
My friend recommended me a very interesting place____billionaireromance .com____ It's where wealthy singles looking for someone to enjoy their wealthy lifestyle with:)
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 12:40am.
Submitted by CeeCee on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 12:05am.
She wasn't robbed, she was burgled.
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I thought only Big Macs could get burgled.
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LMAO Robble Robble
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"So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?" -Enid
Orange. Drama.
The end.
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
Why is that cunt and her asswipe family ALWAYS calling 9-1-1 ?
They should be fined for dialing 9-1-1 for NON-EMERGENCY issues.
Well if with "always giving" he means her pussy...well yeah,he is right; she is giving that away a lot, alright.
But seriously, who cares. Good for them, whatever they stole. This dumb little ungrateful, orange crack-whore doesnt deserve anything she got anyway.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by CeeCee on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 12:05am.
She wasn't robbed, she was burgled.
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I thought only Big Macs could get burgled.
I KEED! I KEED!
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that using such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117. #15
I call bullshit on this story, what a fuckin' deadbeat, coke-head, looser and a pathetic excuse for an 'actress'
She's got the Rock Of Love porn star collagen lips going on for her.
She wasn't robbed, she was burgled. Sorry, but to those of us in the law enforcement field, that is annoying. To be robbed there needs to be a physical threat.
My friend recommended me a very interesting place____billionaireromance .com____ It's where wealthy singles looking for someone to enjoy their wealthy lifestyle with:)
Did they check for pawn slips, just in case Blohan cashed in and "forgot" the whole thing?
Ah well, if they did get robbed I betcha what she's REALLY upset about is that they took all the coke.
If she hadn't forgotten her CrackBerry at that head shop in Manhattan and then made a federal case when the guy returned it to her, then the crooks wouldn't've known she was out of town, and the robbery never would've happened.
Submitted by Tristram on Sun, 08/23/2009 - 10:33pm.
well that's true but its not at all who you are thinking! promise..
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Rock me momma like the wind and the rain, Rock me momma like a southbound train.
The Lohans seem to have TMZ, OK! and Life & Style on speed dial.....nah, too easy.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Sun, 08/23/2009 - 10:30pm.
It's the daytimer with the same initial as your first name. *drinking Nembutal myself*
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Sun, 08/23/2009 - 10:17pm.
hahahaha. well I will tell you it was human. no snowy wolf dreams here. ew. haha.
why do I watch To Catch a Predator? It's like a train wreck I can't look away.
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Rock me momma like the wind and the rain, Rock me momma like a southbound train.
You just know that Daddy Lohan put Jon Gosselin up to it. Probably promised to split the profits with him.
"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."
Submitted by Who Datt on Sun, 08/23/2009 - 10:20pm.
It's a shame her folks weren't as concerned when her childhood and innocence were stolen from her. But then again, they did the robbing.
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For some reason reading this made me say 'aw SNAP!' Summed up nicely, Who Datt.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Sun, 08/23/2009 - 10:17pm.
i said I'd never tell!
*mixing Nembutal cocktail for the lady*
Dude. Shit is going downhill fast. That's too bad.
Is there too much titty in my avie? Can't tell.
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Uh oh, Heaven is starting to take out Soccer Moms. - BRADIFUL BITCH 8/13/09
Again? Really? C'mon Blohan you've already pulled this publicity stunt before...