Oh, What A Beautiful Pair!
HAHAHAHAHA! My recurring nightmare CHERYL BURKE is stuck with former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay for the new season of Dancing For A Check! Thank Cheesus they didn't give Mop Head a hot piece.
You don't know how many delicious dinners were absolutely ruined last season thanks to Mop Head getting all horny around Gilles Marini's toasted skin baguette. Seriously, my stomach turned inside/out every time CHERYL BURKE looked at Gilles with those "fuckme" eyes like she was all ready to soak up his sex juices with her mop head. Vom, wipe, vom, wipe, vom....
I'm not going to put my barf bucket away just yet, because the minute Mop Head rubs all over Tom all sexy-like, I will not be able to control myself. Knowing her skanky ass, she will.
The rest of the couples have also been announced. Just nod and pretend like you know who all of these whores are. I even tried Googling the name of a bitch I didn't recognize and it came back with, "Nevah heard of him." The couples are:
Mya and Dmitri Chaplin
Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas
Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova
Ashley Hamilton and Edyta Sliwinska
Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff
Kathy Ireland and Tony Dovolani
Debi Mazar and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo
Louie Vito and Chesie Hightower
Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya
Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson
Tom DeLay and Mop Head
Macy Gray and Jonathan Roberts
Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough
Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer
Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel