You Saw This Coming
Over the weekend, Blohan's Casa de Crackie was broken into and thieves snatched a safe as well as some other crap. Michael Lohan put on his obvious cap and said he believes it was an inside job. Michael plans to get to the bottom of it! Don't worry, Detective La Toya isn't going to waste her stellar investigative skills on this case. It's way too obvious for her.
Yesterday, Blohan co-signed her father's claim on Twatter: "that's how i know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren't taken... just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me."
The Chicago Sun-Times says that some of those things that "meant a lot" to her include "very incriminating videos and photos." A source added that Blohan will be all sorts of embarrassed if any of it got out. FOR WHY THE EFF WHY?! We've already seen (don't click on this) Blohan's carniceria in all its gory, so there's not much else that can embarrass her even more.
On second thought, maybe they stole the director's cut of Labor Pains. If that's the case, then I'm scared too.
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QUESTION: What do you do when you're a broke "actress" who can't find work?
ANSWER: Make some porn tapes. Leave your door unlocked so that "burglars" can come in and find them. File a lawsuit. Receive a huge cash settlement when they are released.
The only possible thing on the tape that could impact her reputation would be images of her studying for a role, eating healthy, watching tv, reading the Bible and playing Monopoly with Sam. Methinks Crimsoncrotch is afraid people will find out she's actually normal.
She looks like a confused duck.
She is a skank. She has already flashed her crotch to the world and everyone knows she snorts.
WHAT can this skank be embarrassed about? After showing your pussy to the entire world nothing should shame you.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
I think (fingers crossed, salt over left shoulder, four-leaf clover fondling) we are done as a collective pop culture with the "surprise" snatch shots. I mean, WE were over it a long time ago, I assume, but I am speaking of all the misguided handlers and star-cough-lets who thought it was a great career move to flash doughy beavers amidst ultra-zoom lenses and wafting low self esteem. It's absurd now, and I am hoping for total shock and abhorrence later. Can't we just fast forward to the future, when the color of our government-issued chip implants outrank fake tit size as the new Erogenous Meter?
Oh Cheesus, Angel_i:
Personal slime!!!! Yes - Panties (cute or industrial-strength) are also necessary to keep your "juice" in check!!!!
How could I have missed this reason??? These hos without "hosiery" have to be funking-up their designer clothes with their juice!!!! What a waste! So - never go shopping at the Goodwill in Hollywood. STANK!!!!
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
Submitted by Plecostomus on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 12:03pm.
Makes me wonder who the Blohans are going to blackmail so that those "stolen" items never see the light of the tabloids?
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Puh-leeeese! Bitch stole them from herself (WITH the help of Daddy Lohan, I might add)so she could leak it so we won't try too hard to ignore that stupid movie she's gonna be in.
I've never hated her more than with those puffy pink lips. Those lips make me want to kill her the way I kill that 4pm housefly every day. First, I poison them with repellent and hairspray and then I beat them to death as they writhe in pain.
(I'm not proud - I'm just sayin')
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that using such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117. #15
i suggest putting latoya and her csi skills on the case...but in the end, i'm sure the black guy did it...
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she was clumsy, stupid and mean, but I wouldn't wish that death on a opossum...
what an unsavoury minge in that link.
-------------------(my signature)
even dolls get cold in winter
Makes me wonder who the Blohans are going to blackmail so that those "stolen" items never see the light of the tabloids?
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Bottom-feeder.
When did covering your bathing suit parts with underpants and bras become old-fashioned?
unless of course there are pics of samro's deli sliced meat too!! EWWWW!! puke!! i hope who ever has this "embarassing" stuff on blohan just keeps it to themselves, we already know shes a trainwreck.
lmao @ "lindsays carniceria!" thats hilarious!!
"The Chicago Sun-Times says that some of those things that "meant a lot" to her include "very incriminating videos and photos." A source added that Blohan will be all sorts of embarrassed if any of it got out."
Uh, what exactly could embarrass her? She's the lowest of the low, and seems arrogantly proud of it. We've already seen videos of her drinking, snorting coke & giving some dude a blowjob in a back alleyway; what else is left? Was she doing heroin? Stealing? Fucking a dog?
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Slutts
LOL
oh don't get me started on the unhealthy ones!!!
*pukes*
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
Submitted by Miss Priss on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 11:45am.
vaginas are so ugly...but so are peens..
gawd the human body is just disgusting
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Naw, the healthy ones are beautiful.
vaginas are so ugly...but so are peens..
gawd the human body is just disgusting
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
I must say that is the first time that I've seen a vagina coughing, both Lindsay & her pussah were coughing and looking haggard.
PS. Her poon is nasty. I have no desire to see any more incriminating photos of this girl.
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that using such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117. #15
Submitted by Ms. Caligula on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 11:37am.
*projectile vomits*
I think I can SEE a herpe in the first one.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Jeepster on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 11:22am.
okay - AND - is it now gauche to wear underwear in Hollywood? I thought that really good underwear was a sign that you had "arrived". Expensive panties are a symbol of all that is good in the world! Why shum them? They are there for a REASON:
1. They protect your genitalia.
2. They add sex appeal and a hint of "mystery".
3. If you are a Tranny, a nice pair of panties gives you "tuck-confidence".
4. If you are getting out of a sportscar, a flash of lovely panties can be enticing, naughty, and cool (in a classy, nasty kind of way)
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Nevermind! How about keeping the slime off the seats and your dress and whatever else it might bump into? Ick!
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that using such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117. #15
TEAM WEAR CUTE PANTIES OVAH HEAH TOO!
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/26/2009 - And Blohan still holds the blue ribbon for the nastiest, quivering raw fish-lookin pussy, IMO.
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I have to respectfully disagree. I believe that blue ribbon should go to Paris Hilton:
http://www.celeb-porn.info/pic-paris-hilton-pussy2.jpg
http://images.heaven666.org/p/1/paris-hilton-upskirt-pussy-shot.jpg
As Markie_Farkie put it, "Man, that thing looks like it's been pounded more than a cheap steak!"
Submitted by Jeepster on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 11:22am.
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I'm in my 20s and from the midwest and I couldn't agree more.
TEAM CUTE PANTIES!
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 11:02am.
Chirio: all that scrag wants is ATTENTION!
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Don't they all!!! attention whores
Coma Caca!!
okay - AND - is it now gauche to wear underwear in Hollywood? I thought that really good underwear was a sign that you had "arrived". Expensive panties are a symbol of all that is good in the world! Why shum them? They are there for a REASON:
1. They protect your genitalia.
2. They add sex appeal and a hint of "mystery".
3. If you are a Tranny, a nice pair of panties gives you "tuck-confidence".
4. If you are getting out of a sportscar, a flash of lovely panties can be enticing, naughty, and cool (in a classy, nasty kind of way).
Seeing someone's raw, shaved-fish orifice is not a turn-on unless you are a Dirty-Vicar (see Monty Python)or have recently spent some quality time in prison.
Just my opinion, but I am an OLD FART from New England.....
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 11:05am.
I'll say it again....this whole robbery is staged. Blohan planned it so she can get free media press & insurance money.
sounds like a crackie fmaehwore thing to do, so I concur with you!
and no I was not rhyming on purprose
"Blo, when Sean was doing lines off of your raggedy cooter lips while you were watching Pineapple Express and promised to put you in a movie with Seth Rogen when you said you've always wanted to do acting stuff with him, he didn't mean it for real."
I'm sorry, I had to. Her vagina is weird. Like her labia lips have been excised or something.
Homegirl probably smells like Pantene, cocoa butter and three kinds of Victoria's Secret body spray...
I'll say it again....this whole robbery is staged. Blohan planned it so she can get free media press & insurance money.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
Chirio: all that scrag wants is ATTENTION!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Detective La Toya needs to find Lindsay's missing hairline.
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"Light up a spliff and break out the Boone’s Farm. The magazine that many of us all loved and hated at times is a wrap like Reynold’s."
-Crunk and Disorderly
RIP Vibe Magazine 2009
Oh God - I clicked on the link...why do I DO these things? And guess what I have for lunch - TUNA SALAD. I can't.
I need to go home, but how do I explain this to the boss? "Hi - I have to leave now because I just clicked on a link to a picture of Lindsay Lohan's genitals, and the delicate linings of my eyeballs are burned so badly that I cannot decipher the intricate code that will drive a dozen projects, thereby jeopardizing the careers and possibly the lives of my co-workers and clients". See ya tomorrow.....(if I CAN see).
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
Brit's gash is nearly equally as gross as HoHan's but HoHan seems to have more lunchmeat.
I want to squeeze those disgusting lips like a whitehead and watch all the puss bust out.
I don't want to read about her, I don't want to see her nasty sex tape, I just want Blohan to GO THE FUCK AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*runs away screaming*
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
So last night I went over to check on celeb ass kisser (perezH) site, and saw that Aubrey O'Day wants SamRo. Dont kill me for going there, I only go there once in a lifetime haha.
biab conf call.
Coma Caca!!
why, oh why did i have to click on it??
*furiously rubbing eyes*
eh, she wasn't robbed. she's just pissed because all the people she's "borrowed" from over the years came by and picked their stuff up.
...
but, then again, what do i know?
ubmitted by CRAZY on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 10:42am.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 10:25am.
Fuck it looks like her vajayjay is tring to hide itself! EWWWWWWWWWWW!
bwahahahahahahahaaaa
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"I HAVE NO MORE GOTTDAMN CUPCAKES!" 08.18.09 The delicate flower that is Mrs. Bradiful Bitch
Since when is 'getting your dildos back' a crime? SamRo should sue her for defamation of character. And win this time, bitch. Don't Perez us again and make the Black Eyed Peas bring on the justice.
Exactly jacknthehat - I think it was the dealer trying to get back whats left of his stash.
Submitted by Miss Priss on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 10:41am.
Miss Priss! ♥♥♥
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www.walkms.org
do it for a fellow ho!
lmao @ 'carniceria'
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 10:39am.
Farrah,
I still have nightmares about that dolphin porn he linked.
And people say I am a scatloving sick fuck, I learned from the master!
To the rest of you re cheeto pussay.
You are welcome. :)
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Eastendgirl,
That dolphon porn video clip he linked has permanently scarred my psyche :(
Let me guess, they took her platinum & diamond coke straw? You know she's got one.
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
It'd be karmic justice if, in her efforts to leak a sex tape, evidence emerged that she'd broken her terms of probation. I keep waiting for that to happen but I'm just being silly, since celebs in LA don't face punishment like the rest of us would. Tom Sizemore comes to mind.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Wed, 08/26/2009 - 10:25am.
Fuck it looks like her vajayjay is tring to hide itself! EWWWWWWWWWWW!
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"If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I`m f—king my dog!" - Gerard Butler
"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!" -unknown
Farrah!!!!
I knew it was you when I seen Brandon Flowers!!! (I luv him)
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
Fuck she's ugly. If you insist on blowing your lips up until they look like two dead slugs sitting on your face, why must you paint them up with your pepto-bismol pink lipstick?