It Looks Like Celestia Is Back
Actually, I don't think Celestia ever left the building. So, everyone, Ellen Degeneres' former scissor sister is still a card-carrying member of The Batshit Crazy Club. Check her wallet, you know she has a card and everything. In fact, I'm sure she's chapter president.
Anne Heche brought the crazies in a big way to Letterman last night. When Letterman asked Celestia about her ex-husband Coley Laffoon (I can't with that name), she raised her dress and shat all over him. Anne said he was a "lazy ass" who does the dick slappy dance every time he gets a check in the mail from her. Anne also launched caca bombs on the idea of marriage and said Letterman did the wrong thing by getting hitched to his lover. Anne, who has a PHD in lunacy, said, "Don't get married. Forever engaged is a wonderful romantic thing to do."
Taking marriage advice from Anne Heche is like taking mental health advice from Anne Heche. That being said, talking trash about your ex on national TV isn't a smart thing to do, but it is an entertaining one! I love it when this crazy bitch opens up her arms and unleashes the unbridled fuckery. Celestia, come back and visit us soon!
And you know, Portia de Rossi turned to Ellen and said, "You actually ate this wacko's snatch?"
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Anne's kids are so frigging ugly. They make my eyes hurt. How did the ugly loony score 2 hot husbands is beyond me. Ellen is pretty cute.
ALL RIGHT! Celestia's back! Hail to the Queen of Crazy!
Submitted by madam s. on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:33am.
I'm not an Ellen fan, but I will never understand how she stumbled onto this nutjob nightmare. I also don't understand how she scored the beautiful Portia, actually.
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If I was a lesbian, I'd be taking the E-Train all the way to the bank, baby. Ellen is a fucking catch! You know she can it eat raw, too.
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Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I"m glad she had the balls to say it like it really is!
Submitted by luvmehateme on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 4:50pm.
Sooo, I guess I am the only one who found this hysterical?! I am sorry, but it is funny. We have no idea if he is actually the KID's Soccer coach, let's keep it real.
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Their kid is that age, and I don't know when some random guy w/o his kid actually being on the team would coach a bunch of 7yr olds...possibly a "traveling" team, but those kids are usually older.
Submitted by chewba on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 11:15am.
THANK YOU! FINALLY! She is just pissed like "normal" people who don't like their exes.
-"Well, should we get more coffee or get two guns and shoot ourselves?"
Sooo, I guess I am the only one who found this hysterical?! I am sorry, but it is funny. We have no idea if he is actually the KID's Soccer coach, let's keep it real.
Maybe because I have so many friends getting divorced right now and this is how they talk about the exes but I found it pretty funny.
She is supposed to "take it for the kid" because she is famous? She is venting, leave her the hell alone.
Chances are, Homer already knows Daddy only has money because mommy pays him.
-"Well, should we get more coffee or get two guns and shoot ourselves?"
maybe she thinks she's being funny.
letterman does, so why not her?
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pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK
I'm sure there is a video of her on Letterman a few years back, where she was giggling and gushing over Lafoon. This woman is certifiable.
Submitted by applehead on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 11:39am.
Maybe he's coaching THEIR KIDS team and that's why he's saying come watch the game? Maybe she's such an egomaniac, she's making it out that he's trying to get her to watch him, and that's not the case at all. He has custody, I thought.
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I thought the same thing. Maybe he is trying to get her to be more involved in her own child's life.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
dyke kunt fckn twat lickn ho stupid arse bbeeeaaatch!
That interview had to be so damn awkward for Dave, but she has a few valid points.
But still one crazy fucker.
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As far as her views on marriage go, I have to agree with her. And I'm married.
On the other hand, I read her book "Call Me Crazy" and she is definitely CRAZY.
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Always look on the bright side of life
I didn't go back and read everyones post and don't know if this was brought up...
Maybe he's coaching THEIR KIDS team and that's why he's saying come watch the game? Maybe she's such an egomaniac, she's making it out that he's trying to get her to watch him, and that's not the case at all. He has custody, I thought.
No wonder she's divorced.
Whoa whats up with the receding hairline? Have you ever noticed that all people with foreheads that big (male and female) are fucking nuts!
I think she is hilarious and dead on in her opinion of marriage. Go Anne.
If what people are saying about her childhood is true, I forgive her for being such a crazy bitch. No one should be violated by their parents.
However, I wouldn't deal or associate with her crazy ass much.
We actually studied her in my abnormal psychology class a few years ago and dug deep into her story versus the story of not only her dad and the rest of her family.
I went into it totally believing her, however, after analyzing it all, most of the class (including the professor who is also a therapist) came to the conclusion that she might have false memories due to her psychosis issues and suggestive therapy (when a psychologist suggests things so strongly you believe it is true). A lot of her story just did not add up. Most of the time a bad childhood causes mental issues, but once in a blue...mental issues lead people into bigger issues (like false memories).
Again it is always he said, she said, but something in the water was not right with her story...
Aw Michael, she was great, talking about the dude that she supports doing the happy dance going to the mailbox to get her support checks. He's a douche and no matter how crazy she is, he will still be a douchetard.
i never thought about anne heche before this, but now i LOVE her! she is crazy and hilarious
www.thatshideous.com
Submitted by d-nice on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:41am.
ya know, i am VERY surprised by the comments here that are condemning the gal for her opinions on marriage/divorce.
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I was going to say this earlier but I kinda forgot...but now that it's come up...
It's not so much her words that bother me but the energy behind them. She has some kinda weird not-right tension that's always right on the surface.
As for being honest - for me, it's more about delicacy. You can say what you mean without being harsh about it. Or you can be harsh but choose your words carefully so that it's not obvious to someone with limited comprehension skills...
I said: inside voice/outside voice. The way she was expressing was the way I might to a close friend - or even not a close friend, but in private. On national television, it seems a bit much.
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As an Evil Overlord, I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that using such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117. #15
ya know, i am VERY surprised by the comments here that are condemning the gal for her opinions on marriage/divorce.
those are her opinions and she is entitled to them-PC or not. so basically people are saying she should suck it up and take one for the team, enjoy going to the soccer stuff, being there for the kid???
i think the fakeness is what makes a kid warped. honestly if a marriage didn't work out & the couple don't feel it for each other then why can't you put it out there? some relationships aren't meant to be and i don't BLAME her for being upset about handing her dough to him. it is reality, it is honest.
so i guess everyone out there is more comfortable with the smug, fake facade, and think she isn't entitled to her real yet not popular take. SAD.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:14am.
green
I think of that homer too, but you and I are in an older generation...
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True, true. Though admittedly the next thing that came to mind was "Homo". I couldn't help it! *embarrassed* Poor kid.
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WISH GRANTED! >:)
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I'm not an Ellen fan, but I will never understand how she stumbled onto this nutjob nightmare. I also don't understand how she scored the beautiful Portia, actually.
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ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
Wow, she's unpleasant and crazy. Even Dave's like, WTF, how do I shut her up about marriage?!
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
I love 'Hung,' but she bugs the hell out of me.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Ha! I found the whole thing HILARIOUS!
I am now fighting my ex for the house and that's going to be his job, opening the mailbox and all he has to do is get my checks for a house he spend absolutely no money on or contributed to its upkeep. Yet, I owe him for earnings because he's on the deed. I swear! It's enough to drive you crazy. Men are golddiggers too!
I agree with Anne, sometimes you divorce them and you don't want to see them EVER! I don't want to share any time with them more than I have to for the sake of my kids.
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Expecting my third in October.
'scissor sister' - teheheheheheheheheehehe
green
I think of that homer too, but you and I are in an older generation...
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
P. J. O'Rourke
Richard Gere named his son Homer too. Something's in the water.
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Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Submitted by Tristram on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:38am.
Submitted by missrepresent on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:33am.
Let me just play devil's advocate...she really had a sucky childhood....
That would explain some things, but tortured kids who become parents have to try their utmost not to repeat the cycle.
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It DOES explain a lot. And, sadly, I think "try" is the key word here. Sometimes people try and fail and can't do much about that. It seems to me she could do worse (and has - eep!). I can't decide, myself, how much slack to give her, really...
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As an Evil Overlord, I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that using such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117. #15
the only true homer
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_Simpson
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Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
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is that spammer showing tit in her avie!?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:28am.
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:20am.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:15am.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 8:52am.
As soon as she named her kid Homer, you know she didn't give a crap about his well being.
oh gawd, don't I know it! the teasing that child will get will be fucking horrible, and the only known homer these days is a fucking doofus cartoon character. she could have at least named him stewie griffin
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I initially thought of Homer, referring to Homer's Odyssey. However, it's an extremely old-fashioned and quite frankly unflattering name to saddle on a kid.
can she walk in heels? she looks awkward with those pumps...
Submitted by missrepresent on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:33am.
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Hmmmm. After reading that I'm torn. That is serious major abuse. No wonder she has/had the Celestia personality. And while she seems to be rather coherent and stable at times, she still has some serious issues, but it also looks like she has earnestly improved them. Wow. I hope she keeps working on that. I love Ellen, so I'm glad Ellen isn't with her anymore.
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:34am.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:28am.
Homer is bad enough. But pairing it with Laffoon!?! This kid is DOOMED
he's gonna be called homo every day of his sad life.
and, only in america can you get famous by licking the tacobox of a famous woman.
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
P. J. O'Rourke
Not so crazy I think. I dig her.
POOOTEEEE!
Submitted by missrepresent on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:33am.
Let me just play devil's advocate...she really had a sucky childhood....
That would explain some things, but tortured kids who become parents have to try their utmost not to repeat the cycle.
JBL> She was being sarcastic. ;)
It's the same thing I say when bitches be all nosey and gettin up in my business.
Idk....I find her sort of amusing, actually. She reminds me of Tori Amos, almost. A little out there, but mostly harmless.
missrepresent> Thanks for sharing that. Awful stuff~! Now I get why I don't mind her: that religious stuff will eff a person up! I know from experience!
IV> I think maybe she's just a fan of ancient Greece. ;)
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:28am.
Homer is bad enough. But pairing it with Laffoon!?! This kid is DOOMED!
Let me just play devil's advocate...she really had a sucky childhood....
Anne Heche had a miserable childhood, says Alex Witchel in The New York Times Magazine. Until she was 12, the actress was repeatedly molested by her father, an evangelical Christian and closeted bisexual who gave her herpes as an infant. He later died of AIDS. After many years of therapy, Heche called her mother to confront her about the abuse. But her mother conceded nothing; by then, she had become a Christian therapist who specialized in teaching gays how to overcome their homosexuality. “Jesus loves you, Anne,” her mother said, and hung up on her. Heche, now 40, understands her mother’s denial. “I had a mother whose whole life was based on not looking around or knowing anything. The person in the bubble says, ‘This is the only bubble I’ve ever known, and I don’t want out.’” It’s that same impulse, Heche thinks, that led her mother to proselytize against gays. “That she is attempting to change gay people into straight people is, in my opinion, a way to keep the pain of the truth out. It is no mistake that she still stands up against love. And one wonders why I’m not rushing to have her meet my children.”
She named her other kid Atlas. Nice. Book of maps.
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Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
And you know, Portia de Rossi turned to Ellen and said, "You actually ate this wacko's snatch?" <--LOL
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Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:20am.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 9:15am.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 8:52am.
As soon as she named her kid Homer, you know she didn't give a crap about his well being.
oh gawd, don't I know it! the teasing that child will get will be fucking horrible, and the only known homer these days is a fucking doofus cartoon character. she could have at least named him stewie griffin.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Damn, giving away half your money makes you a bitch and she has visible Spanx leg too!
She should have kept her trap shut. I don't see anything wrong with her ex asking her to come watch their son play in a soccer game. So what if her ex is one of the coaches? This woman had an affair w/her co-star while she was married and she has the nerve to talk trash about her now ex? Classy.
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that voice makes my ears bleed. what a no class twat.
What did Ellen ever see in this twit? She's no beauty queen and that voice!
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