Vodka Tampons & Anal Beer Bongs: It's The Thing In Arizona
A while ago there was an episode of The Doctors where they showed us all how to get the sweet nectar in our system on the down low. The key words being "down low." According to the episode, teens are getting their fix by shoving vodka tampons up their snatches and sticking a beer bong up their no-nos. This brings new meaning to the term "drunk pussy."
Well, ABC15 in Arizona says that vodka tampons and anal beer bongs are all the rage with kids as young as 12, because it's a way for them to get boozed without much detection. Stephanie Siete of a substance abuse center in Arizona said, "It's quicker absorption, it's hidden and it's new. For females, they're damaging their reproductive system." Yeah, but they won't notice that their vagina cave is dying a slow death, because they will be waaaaaaasted. Paaaartay while your pussay fries!
Stephanie added that kids in Arizona are also doing it Prince Hot Ginge-style by snorting vodka from the bottle.
Kids these fucking days! When I was 12, we were soooo not hardcore. We just used to get high by freebasing DayQuil and injecting battery acid between our toes.
And yes, getting drunk by sticking a vodka tampon up my ass is tempting, but the last thing I need is another visit to the free clinic. Methinks the "wind blew it up my ass" excuse won't work on them. Besides, who the hell wants to burn up their genitals?!!!! For some whores, the pussy and asshole is their check to cash. So basically you are burning up money! No fuck no.
VIA Gawker
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cheesuz...just pour it in a glass and smoke a joint..whats wrong with kids today?
xoxox
The war isn't working.
EEWW.
That doctor who was The Bachelor is to-die-for. I'd give him head every night of his life!
HI 5 LISA L!!!!
Im all for the fucking retards of the world anhiliating their repoductive organs but whats the betting we end up with a wave of overtly fetal aclcohol syndrome babies as a result instead.
Some humans should just be put down....I FEEL SO FUCKING ANGRY ITS A WASTE OF VODKA, FOOTSTUFFS AND DOCTORS and now my bloody lunch.
GET FUCKED you idiots and that includes the fucking cocksuckers who put this shit on TV
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
why would anyone waste vodka like this? why?!
The youtube video was removed, heres another...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eqCBCUawKY
it's different
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One brow looks like a golf club and the other one looks like a hockey stick. Different sports! Pick a league, bitch!
-MK
http://www.dianacrabtree.blogspo
That's just fucked up in so many ways. But go ahead kids, shove those alcohol soaked tampons up your cooter and damage your reproductive organs. That way this world won't have to be infested by your retarded children you would otherwise get pregnant with within a year.
ima gonna have to give up on being a cougar if kids are shitting jello these days.
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Submitted by Willjaypa on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 7:53pm.
But, do you know what the even bigger trend is? Jello shot suppositories. Yup, that's right. Young people across America are having wild "Rectal Rocket" parties where Cherry, Lemon and even Strawberry Banana flavored Jello shots are used.
My brother told me that his best friend's doctor's gardener's second cousin's mechanic's next door neighbor is an EMT who treated five sorority pledges for alcohol poisoning from using these "Butt Blasters".
And they were all wearing purple jelly bracelets too.
Somebody needs to address this scourge in a "The More You Know" segment!
But, do you know what the even bigger trend is? Jello shot suppositories. Yup, that's right. Young people across America are having wild "Rectal Rocket" parties where Cherry, Lemon and even Strawberry Banana flavored Jello shots are used.
My brother told me that his best friend's doctor's gardener's second cousin's mechanic's next door neighbor is an EMT who treated five sorority pledges for alcohol poisoning from using these "Butt Blasters".
And they were all wearing purple jelly bracelets too.
Somebody needs to address this scourge in a "The More You Know" segment!
saw it on CSI once; the episode where the folks who write 2-1/2 Men penned the show. wouldn't snark this one; it's too bizzare to not be truthful.
For the people who are skeptical based on the difficulty of inserting a wet tampon: you would soak the entire tampon, applicator and all, and then insert as usual. This isn't new. Frat boys have been doing anal jagerbombs for years.
ANAL BEER BONGS DO NOT EXIST. Neither do vodka tampons. And if they do exist, they're isolated acts carried out by crazy-ass skanks.
These are urban legends just like teen sex bracelets and gerbils in the butt.
And don't tell me that your aunt's second cousin's next-door-neighbor's ex-wife's step mother was a nurse at the hospital where it happened!
Thank you my thoughts EXACTLY.
Submitted by Bree on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 1:39pm.
this is the dumbest shit I've ever heard. this is like that 'jenkem' story that came out forever ago. oh ALLLL the kids are doing it! umm, no. maybe like 5 morons tried it and a bunch of parents think it's "all the rage." same goes for this. i bet two twats tried it and now they think every kid is doing it. ridiculous.
Natural selection at work, folks.
that's just crazy and sick. this is our future.
wait, what?
as if. wet tampons are too soft to put in. pffft.
Bacardi Booty Breezes for everyone!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes
This is beyond fucking insane, wtf kids?
The guy in the blue scrubs is HOT!
Yum!
We're collecting lingerie for needy sexy people - Blanche Devereaux
Besides it's probably the nasty ass Phoenix kids. Tucson is just fine :)
I remember reading on the Darwin Awards website about this guy who killed himself by putting his vodka in his rectum for a faster high. He passed out but the vodka in his ass kept right on going, like the energizer bunny, and it killed the fucker.
this is the dumbest shit I've ever heard. this is like that 'jenkem' story that came out forever ago. oh ALLLL the kids are doing it! umm, no. maybe like 5 morons tried it and a bunch of parents think it's "all the rage." same goes for this. i bet two twats tried it and now they think every kid is doing it. ridiculous.
*shuddering at the thought of a fucking cold beer going up my ass* no wonder Jackass episodes always had disclaimers on them. Youth today are dumber than dumb. I think the monkeys have taken over as most evolved.
"Tell them the bug violated you sexually, and you want out" --my friend's advice to breaking my lease
I'm pretty sure than a Bud Light High Colonic will give you alcohol poisoning pretty quickly. Anyone ever see Idiocracy? The world is already well on it's way. Kids today are so fucking ignorant. They save up their lunch money to get homeless dudes to buy them beer & then shove it up their asses?
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
Gag...Anyone that would do that shit has a depraved mind.
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"And my heart it is still beating, but it's fight or flight, the exit from loneliness is not necesarrily the entrance into paradise."
Ummm....I can sort of see the tampon (physiologically, anyway). But wouldnt you need AMAZING sphincter control to get drunk from a beer enema?
Fuck you in the face, cunt! ~~~Stoney 2/19/09
"Paaaartay while your pussay fries!"
i just spit out my water.bawahahahahhahahahahahhahaaaaaaa
I must be getting old. I can barely digest this. Oh to you kiddies, by digest I meant understand. It was not a signal for you to go sit on a bottle of bacardi and practice handstands.
I see corporal choker is sadly missed....
This reminds me of the show Oprah did on Meth that a lot of people used as a "how to" for staying alert and losing weight instead of the warning it was meant as.
Ummmmm.......what?
We are doomed, doomed. There can be no argument.
Fuck you in the face, cunt! ~~~Stoney 2/19/09
Maybe if I shove a rum soaked tampon up the BH's ass he'd be in a better mood!?!? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
*contemplates*
*has bitch face on, tapping foot*
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Submitted by missy on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 12:32pm.
Ill be right back, I need to go shove some liquid LSD up my snatch.
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HAHAHA!! Missy, you've been missed. ♥♥
*quarantines self for eternity*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
This is actually old news for those of us who work in boarding schools-we had an incident last year at a summer boarding school in New Hampshire with some students-the school is co-ed, but the kids who were involved were boys.
This past year at my school in CT (private, all boys boarding), we found used tampon casings on our dorm-could not trace it to anyone though.
ISMU,
God I heart you. Queef.
missy, so nice to see you back.
Now to OP I HAZ NEWZ.
I bet Kourtney Kardashian wishes she thought of this. Booze sans baby friends!
Hey, EH.
Do a little experiment for us. Soak a tampon in cough suppressant and see if it makes you stop queefing.
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 12:31pm.
I thought I told you not to speak, EH.
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*poot*
speakspeakspeakspeakspeakspeakspeak...na na nana naaa!
You arent the boss of me! Only people who are the boss of me have been inside me...you feel like going up there tonight???
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lmy9R_WtPbg&feature=player_embedded
every time I thing I have seen everything, people do shit like this.
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I know I'm a mess he don't want to clean up
- Fiona Apple
Ill be right back, I need to go shove some liquid LSD up my snatch.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 12:30pm.
If you were attempting to make me blush...you were successful my friend :)
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Rock me momma like the wind and the rain, Rock me momma like a southbound train.
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 12:28pm.
I used to ask permission to collect little pieces of wood to play, but I would take a looong ass time to get them. LOL
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I bet. And I'm sure you took nice, deep breaths while you "collected" some, uh, wood. ahahahaha
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 12:29pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 12:27pm
I was going to suggest she'll cut her troath and put some vodka in it to see what happens.
but the cut has to be real deep. Please?
....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K
Agreeing with Jazzfish77 and Rotten_egg!
Not only that If you're gonna raise more than one kids please but please...think about it! If you cant take care of one dont have more. THINK! You might think you can raise a kid if you have a lot or good amounts of $$$ BUT, stop saying yes whenever a kid wants this or that, the latest shit! If they cant pay for it, they need to earn it by getting up and doing shores or getting an F*** job.
Coma Caca!!
Uvy! :-D
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I thought I told you not to speak, EH.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 12:24pm.
Pfffft, vodka. I prefer to soak my tampons in jenkem.
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*vomits*
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
A for effort, F for execution.