Dear Dakota, Invest In A Camera With A Good Red Eye Blocker
Summit Entertainment released a few stills of the evil vampire clan known as the Volturi from Twilight. Now, I've never read any of the Twilight books, so I'm just guessing they are made of evil based on their shiny Hot Tamales eyes. Speaking of those eyes, director Chris Weitz says they had the ruby red contacts specially made, "They're opaque red, almost like preying mantis eyes. You can't really see into them. There's something terribly off-putting about it."
Um. They paid too much. My goth cholita cousin has contacts just like that and she got hers at the swap meet for $19.99! Yes, one of them made her eyeballs cry bloody tears, but at least her wallet isn't crying. And that's all that matters!
Below are pictures of the rest of the Volturi bitches including: Christopher Heyerdahl as Marcus, Michael Sheen as Aro, Cameron Bright (the creepy kid from Birth) as Alec, Dakota Fanning as Jane and Jamie Campbell Bower as Caius.
If they were wearing creepers and carrying coffin lunch boxes, they'd look exactly like the goth kids at my high school.
• 
Tristram beat me to it: "preying mantis" hit me like a nice bite down on tinfoil.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
This is the cheesiest shit ever.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Not a Twilight fan at all, but aren't vampire supposed to hide the fact that they're vampires so no one kills them? These costumes look like something an overweight depressed, goth, drama geek came up with for the high school senior play.
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"I'm a black robot, motherfucker."
This girl creeps me out.
All child actors do.
The child actors who were children when I was growing up anyway.
<3 Shirley Temple tho...
Dakota might have achance of being like that, but as of right now, I think she just ruined every movie she was in with her screaming like a baby banshee.
Try reading "New Moon". All the way through. If you can get through the fucking 98 pages of italicized "werewolf" thoughts and write me a 500-word report, you get a lollipop.
Yes, I read the books, or tried to. All of them. Suck my asshole if you don't like it, because I fucking hated it, too. Awful, awful garbage. But I just had to see what the hype was. I think it's just retarded fanbase + 1,000 reminders of how Edward is the hottest thang on the planet per installment = $$$. By the way, Meyers never even describes what Edward looks like other than eye and hair color. She couldn't describe her own hand if her life depended on it. She's also the most repetitive writer I've ever encountered. Her shit is like an episode of Teletubbies.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
Are they sparkly too?
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The purpose of existence is to maintain its purposelessness.
So...Michael Sheen looks basically the way he did in all the Underworld films, Bower looks like a refugee from the Malfoy clan, and the first guy looks like the vampire from Van Helsing. Yeah, way to be original, Twilight producers. These movies are a joke.
Wow she looks great. I liked her in Push too.
Puberty is crazy. Us girls come out of that looking grown. I remember she was a crying child in War of the Worlds only a few years back.
Crossing fingers that she makes it past 21 unscathed. Don't go the Lilo route! You want to become a regularly working adult actress!
::pouring malt liquors for the death of the dreams I used to have for Lohan's career. talent wasted is some BS::
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"This is all rather 'may-jah'..."
~Posh-esque
Submitted by Im a Princess on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:12am.
the books were honestly very good. Try reading before judging then you can give a fair assessment of it.
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Try thinking that maybe, just maybe, people who judge the book(s) *have* read them.
I read the first one and it bored me to death. It'd be ok if it was a story written by a 12 yr old, but a book, published by a real publisher?! I could hardly believe it. I couldn't even find a spark of the engrossing, dark passion the fans seem to find in it. It's trite, derivative and lifeless. The characterizations are ultra lame - examples: Bella is sooo different from other teens because she OMG has read all of the greatest writers already; Edward is soooo different because OMG he listens to classical music OMG; Bella is a bitch to everybody and is supposed to be clumsy... but everybody wants to be her friend at school. Huh?! this doesn't make sense, as well as may other things. Besides, almost everything in Smeyer's "writing" is just filler. BLAH!!!
Lame. I see goths on the daily that would put these freaks to shame in a heartbeat.
Also, this is what it comes to...? Gloating about cheap-ass contacts. Nothing about the depth of the characters and their rich history. The angst, the pain, the desire....nothing about the passion they brought to their performances or the vision of the director?
It all sounds like some kinda highschool film project.
♥ Threadkilla!
I'm not afraid to kill you in front of a priest. ~ Nurse Jackie.
Submitted by caribbeanchic: "There is something about that kid from birth's face that makes me want to punch him in the face continuously...
You're not the only one! This quote from a review of "Thank You For Smoking:"(the currently ubiquitous, buttock-faced Child of the Corn Cameron Bright)" had me LOL and it's been filed away in my brain since. Every time I see him, my brain flashes "BUTTOCK FACE".
http://www.thelmagazine.com/newyork/thank-you-for-smoking/Content?oid=11...
Giggle! Every photo I take comes out with the red eye! Paging Visine!
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Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Actually kinda looking forward to seeing this movie (oh the shame)
Dakota grows so quickly!!! She looks gorgeous, I think!
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:58am.
Nice! I've only read his stuff in VF.
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Worst Music Vid Evah: “Shine on Me”
well, I liked the books...i couldn't stop reading them. the casting could have better i think...but with camera magic i think this cast will be fine, well so long as they can act the part. we shall see.
There is something about that kid from birth's face that makes me want to punch him in the face continuously. There is something about his mug that disagrees with me but i can't quite put my finger on it!
Submitted by Plecostomus on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:10am.
I had that exact same look on my face when I stumbled out of the first Twilight cesspool.
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ROFLMAO @ your avie. It keeps getting better.
Love the topical changes LOL
Team True Blood (the books, not so much the series. but Eric kicks the shit out of Edward every time)
@ Tristram
.............
Agree, there are so many great books in this world to waste time on junk. I'm planning to re-read all my Dominick Dunne books beginning with "Another city not my own".
Submitted by greenfinch on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:46am.
I also do not know how she got published. And I have to caveat I read all the books. I've been reading True Blood and not too make accusations but Twilight almost seems like the PG version of True Blood....hmm.
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Rock me momma like the wind and the rain, Rock me momma like a southbound train.
dakota's too young for that role anyway...but since the
franchise doesn't call for acting she'll be fine
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Submitted by chewba on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:42am.
I am superstitious about starting a book and not finishing it.
A wise man said (paraphrasing) there are too many great books on earth to make yourself read something you're not enjoying. It's fun to just dabble with a book, reading the parts that are interesting, then setting it aside. (But to each his own, of course.)
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Worst Music Vid Evah: “Shine on Me”
Submitted by chewba on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:42am.
i honestly do not know how this woman got published. like they should have had a ghost writer or something cause they could have done a better job. so not only does this woman get one shite book published she gets four and movies made and makes a shit load of money...somethign in life just isnt fair now is it...god.
*gets out typerwriter and starts novel..*
rotten_egg on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:22am
I'm sure I wouldn't be able to read the whole damn book, so I just skip it. Has absolutely nothing to do with them being for teens since I like the Harry Potter series and the old classic fairy tales writers Like the Grimms and Andersen.
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Which is why I refuse to crack the cover!
I'd take "The Red Shoes" and other Tattered Tales over this any day.
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"This space for rent"
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meh, don't care about all this vampire stuff.
wait, what?
Submitted by greenfinch on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:20am.
Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:12am.
not just for teeny boppers? i tried to read twilight and the writing is sooooooooooo poor i didnt get past page 5. its still sitting on night stand and i cant bear to pick it up. i'd say its not even for teeny boppers..no one should read such tripe.
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Ugh! I totally agree. I managed to gag my way through Twilight and finish it, but only because I am superstitious about starting a book and not finishing it. I have not one ounce of desire to read any further in the series or watch any of these movies. The writing was just atrocious.
Rpattz!
Is it just me or does the second guy look like Zac Efron in 20 years as a vampire!?
Snowpiece - I actually liked the baseball scene because I LOVEEEEEEEE that Muse song.
This movie will be cheesy just like Twilight but I'll go see it. *shameface*
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Rock me momma like the wind and the rain, Rock me momma like a southbound train.
Submitted by Tristram on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:15am.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:09am.
Because I wear contact lenses almost every picture has me with red eyes, although my family says it's because I'm evil.
*cough*Cuervo*cough*
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You just had to go there, huh.
I have the same problem. I have light blue eyes, and on so many photos my eyes look RED. I look like a lunatic. Well, a very pretty lunatic... :-)
I love Dakota & she looks mostly appropriate, but the casting of these movies kind of stink...I have read the books & the vamps are supposed to be incredibly breathtakingly beautiful. No one in the cast fits that bill besides Rob Pattinson & possibly Dakota.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:12am.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:09am.
Because I wear contact lenses almost every picture has me with red eyes, although my family says it's because I'm evil.
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Contact lenses cause red eye?
OK, I'll believe you because I'm skeered of evil people. ;)
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Yes, the contacts are responsible for my red eyes. *hides goat's blood*
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:15am.
Color me not impressed.
WTF about Aro looks ancient? Dakota looks like Mary Ingalls after a saloon bender. The blond one looks like the star of Twinklight, the gay porn parody.
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LOL! Or Nelly Olsen.
They're nothing like what I invisioned. Alec and Jane are supposed to be twins. Uh, not so much. Looks like Summit FAILED on hair/makeup/wardrobe again! But the movie will still be better than that Catherine Hardwicke "spider monkey" shit.
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"Drink your juice, Shelby" M'Lynn Steel Magnolias
2 words, SUCK IT!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:15am.
Color me not impressed.
WTF about Aro looks ancient? Dakota looks like Mary Ingalls after a saloon bender. The blond one looks like the star of Twinklight, the gay porn parody.
Meh. Feh.
mary ingalls, lmao! you're so funny!!! omg.
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
P. J. O'Rourke
@rotten_egg: "Vampires that sparkle in direct sunlight, really?" REALLY? Yeah forget it not even gonna start on that. Now I understand that Dildo glittery thing.
throws Visine @snowpiece
Coma Caca!!
IF I were to watch this Twilight stuff (drunk) then I would watch it for that guy in pic#1. The guy on pic 2 looks like a regular guy at the bar I go to, who comes over to me and starts talking all about how the Universe was created and how he likes to travel.
Coma Caca!!
because I smoke mad weed almost every picture has me with red eyes....
LOL :P
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
I'm going to be quite honest, I would rather read all of Shakespeare's books in one go, than read any of these shitty books... and you can figure out Shakespeare bores me to death.
It's not abut being books for dumb teens who love a good lame love story on a sugar overkill, it's the whole plot that puts me off. Vampires that sparkle in direct sunlight, really?. Pfft!. I love Agatha Christie and she still manages to kill me with her sometimes super sugary love stories inside her mystery/murder plots.
I'm sure I wouldn't be able to read the whole damn book, so I just skip it. Has absolutely nothing to do with them being for teens since I like the Harry Potter series and the old classic fairy tales writers Like the Grimms and Andersen.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Yeah the eyes are cheesy but their hairstyles are worse.
Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:12am.
not just for teeny boppers? i tried to read twilight and the writing is sooooooooooo poor i didnt get past page 5. its still sitting on night stand and i cant bear to pick it up. i'd say its not even for teeny boppers..no one should read such tripe
((looks for her Visine)
Coma Caca!!
If it doesn't have Vampire Eric, I am not interested.
2 days no sleep and 60 beers - bright, blood red eyes... check.
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"I HAVE NO MORE GOTTDAMN CUPCAKES!" 08.18.09 The delicate flower that is Mrs. Bradiful Bitch
Haha MK...I missed your creepers comment when I first read. You took me back...my cousin loved those things back when we I was rather young and she was a creepy goth girl with white face makeup, safety pins strategically placed up her pants, black hair and cigarette burns on her arms-I suppose this was to prove how "cool" she was. Yeah, she was pretty lame but I will admit the creepers were a little cool.
I still think Dakota is cool as shit. I hope she keeps it together, she is a great "actress".
....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K
Color me not impressed.
WTF about Aro looks ancient? Dakota looks like Mary Ingalls after a saloon bender. The blond one looks like the star of Twinklight, the gay porn parody.
Meh. Feh.
Gimme some wolves.
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
Submitted by Sluttsville on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:09am.
Because I wear contact lenses almost every picture has me with red eyes, although my family says it's because I'm evil.
*cough*Cuervo*cough*
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Worst Music Vid Evah: “Shine on Me”
Wow, People actually said "preying mantis." IN THIS ECONOMY, they can't afford editors.
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Worst Music Vid Evah: “Shine on Me”
Submitted by Sluttsville on Fri, 08/28/2009 - 10:09am.
Because I wear contact lenses almost every picture has me with red eyes, although my family says it's because I'm evil.
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Contact lenses cause red eye?
OK, I'll believe you because I'm skeered of evil people. ;)
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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