Macaulay Culkin IS The Father!
Here's your daily dose of Michael Jackson fanfiction courtesy of The Sun! They have it on good authority (aka the visions they saw after dropping acid while watching The Good Son) that Macaulay Culkin is Blanket Jackson's biological father. Even Claire Cruise has filed this under CRAAAAZY TALK.
A source said that 29-year-old Macaulay donated sperm which was used to create 7-year-old Blanket. The source went on to fart, "This isn't just chitter-chatter, even Culkin suspects he's Blanket's father. So many names have been mentioned as prospective dads, and this is probably the wackiest yet. But Jackson and Culkin were best friends. He was one of the few people Jackson really trusted and Mack never let him down. Really, Jackson idolised him - that's why he asked Mack to donate sperm. Deep down, I think he always wished Mack was his son. Creating Blanket was the next best thing."
Macaulay, who is godfather to two of Michael's children, has yet to comment on death of Michael Jackson. And of course, he wouldn't comment on this mess. Maybe he used it to wipe his ass after a serious bowel movement, but he didn't issue any statements about it.
I should've seen the Macaulay rumors from a million miles away. Expect to see this headline in the next edition of Weekly World News: EXCLUSIVE! Linus van Pelt is Blanket's true biological father! Actually, I'd believe that one.
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His kids are cute no doubt about it. I believe there was careful planning in who he picked for the parents. He needed a daddy to offshoot Debbie's razor sharp chin. I vote the Dr. Klein is Prince Michael's daddy.
god I am sick of this shit!!!
OK, OK.... I AM BLANKET'S FATHER!!! now put it to fucking bed already!
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pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK
I believe MJ didn't want to use his sperm because he honestly didn't want children walking around that looked like his younger years. And you know how much he didn't the way he looked.
A sociological experiment needs to be done on the media's relationship with Michael Jackson alone. The press is just as insane as his life.
Culkin isn't the daddy. He was MJ special friend. I don't care who the real parents are, it isn't Michael Jackson's kids that's all I know.
What's with all this stupid fuckery claiming that Jackson's kids were fathered by white men? The kids have dark skin for fuck's sake. And who in their right minds would want Culkin as a sperm donor, he's as ugly as hell.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Yeah, Blanket is a cutie. Actually, all MJ's kids are super cute.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
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Regardless of parents, Blanket is a pretty cute kid.
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Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Mon, 06/15/2009
It's like trying to put Herpes in its place, when you're syphilis.
They do have extremely similar noses and mouths in the side by side there.
why didn't michael use his own sperm? didn't he want the Jackson talent to go on?
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 11:52am.
@DeeDee: Is this really his mom? Or was it debunked?
http://blogs.babble.com/famecrawler/2009/07/23/blanket-jacksons-mom-reve...
Cuz that would make two albinos and really odd. But didn't I see a younger picture of him, somewheres, with really blonde hair...was it dyed?
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I'm not sure if it was dyed. But it's hard to believe Macaulay is the father. He is so light complected.
@DeeDee: Is this really his mom? Or was it debunked?
http://blogs.babble.com/famecrawler/2009/07/23/blanket-jacksons-mom-reve...
Cuz that would make two albinos and really odd. But didn't I see a younger picture of him, somewheres, with really blonde hair...was it dyed?
♥ Threadkilla!
So now you try to pull the race card and it backfires in your face hard
cuz you know we don't play that black and white shit.
Bully
Macaulay is a bordering albino! There is no way he's the father.
How hard is it to dig up a pic of the mother? The Paps should have been on this weeks ago. I want to see if the cloth head resembles either parent. Actually, I thought he was the only one that looked like MJ.
hahaha very funny cripbabe, Prince Zsa Zsa is the father. How many godfathers do these kids have anyway, don't see any godmothers named?
jt
wtf, how many sperm donations did MJ get and how many godparents do these kids have? so far we have Dr. Klein, Miko Brando, Mark Lester and now Macauley Culkin involved in this cum fest - Parasite Hilton must be jealous! fuck all of them - I say Zsa Zsa's husband is their father.
Hell, anything is possible with this freak fest.
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"This space for rent"
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Ziggy Stardust - you hit it right on the nose. I always thought that MJ did not see himself as a man. I believe he definitely was "intersexual/transgender/transexual/
androgynous person then perhaps that is why he couldnt father the children himself, because he saw himself/herself first and foremost as a disabled lesbian".
Interesting point of Culkin maturing sexually and they had a role reversal. IDK they were still friends and found it strange Culkin made no public statement about it. But why should he? Grieving privately means he was a more genuine friend then perhaps Brooke Shields (who I normally obsess over but her "performance" at MJ's funeral made me lose a lil respect for her).
What a year for celebrity deaths. RIP
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Resistance is Futile!
O FFS!!! I am so tired of Michael Jackson bullshit! And this is one of the most ridiculous news items to come out of the entire scandal! *headdesk*
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 9:51am.
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Hahaha...that's sounds so wrong but yes, my triangle is all tuned up. Got yer flute at the ready? ;)
OnT: Debbie Rowe is obviously the father.
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GBS
Wow. This is my "holy shit" news of the day! I rarely say that when I read stuff, but I did with this!
mmmmkay and maybe Demi is Blanket's mother.
Coma Caca!!
Blanket is Omer Bhatti's kid. I think Omer was Michael's live in BF.
Bhatti was living at Neverland when Los Angeles police raided the estate in 2003 looking for evidence of child molestation.
An investigator later testified before a grand jury that Bhatti became nervous when he was asked about pornography.
He "seemed to have trouble forming a sentence. It was almost like a stutter," the investigator, Jeffrey Ellis, said on the stand.
Ellis testified that when he questioned Bhatti about the consumption of wine and alcohol, referred to as "Jesus Juice," he saw "that same type of uneasiness in him that I noticed when I started talking to him about pornography."
Submitted by The C word on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 9:47am.
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Back at ya! Got your triangle all tuned up? Nits has dry-cleaned her (my) jumpsuit and is raring to go.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 9:39am.
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Mornin' IG! :)
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GBS
Blanket is the most fucking stupid name I have ever heard of. Jeez, what a freak. I still think the father is Bubbles.
Submitted by greenfinch: "why does it look like blanket wears a wig?"
Well, I believe (okay, it was obvious to anyone with eyes) that MJ has bleached his kids' hair before. There are photos of one of the boys with white blond hair and dark roots.
It's MY OPINION that it's cruel and wrong to give your child the message that they need to be "fixed" somehow. Children don't think that darker/lighter skin or curly hair or almond eyes are ugly. They don't even notice. ADULTS give them those ideas.
Of course he loved his kids, and he didn't have any role models but I think he made some really big parenting mistakes. And no, I am not a perfect parent, either. I'm just saying.
Submitted by The C word on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 9:35am.
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Ahahaha!!
I hope Katherine Jackson appointed a Guardian for the kids in her own will, just in case something happens to her. The woman is in her 80's.
Everyone is the Father. Maury should conduct a nationwide DNA test of all males alive when Blanket was conceived. Could I be MJ's Baby Daddy?
I think it was Mrs. Cartman.
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Where You Gonna Find a Good Man Like Me?
I suppose it's possible. There is a bit of a
resemblance. I agree with the
"do the DNA and get it over with already, so
we can get past this shit, and Blankie can
find out who is going to sign his
child support chex.
We should be hearing from Webster any moment now.
http://cubicpolitics.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/webster.jpg
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GBS
Well, clearly they look exactly alike.
*crickets*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
why does it look like blanket wears a wig?
I wish they would leave Mac alone. Seems like he's just trying to lie low with Mila Kunis, who also really seems to be not a cunt and pretty normal too.
I don't see how that rules out the possibility of a blood pact.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Just have Macaulay hold onto Blanket on the side of a cliff with one hand and Paris or Prince with the other hand and see which one he saves. Then we'll know for sure.
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 9:11am.
...Thus, Jackson and Culkin were no doubt on a similar sexual plane when this friendship started - notice how the relationship fizzled out when CUlkin entered adulthood...
Uh...since Culkin was the Godfather of both the older children, and he testified on Jackson's behalf five years ago, it's pretty obvious that they maintained a friendship throughout the years. This would make your suppostions incorrect.
The king of pop had another lollipop.
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Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
Clearly! The resemblence is uncanny, especially since Blanket is thisclose to being an albino like Home Alone over there. Are these poeple fucking blind?
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
Well...just get some of Mila Kunis' spit and you can do a DNA test.
Does it really matter who the bio daddy is? Let's face it here folks... these kids are fucked regardless. On the other hand, I saw pappy joe on tv this morning and apparently he had to sign a document in court that he would not be involved in any way with the raising of these children. Time will tell.
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Weird!! Well, I suppose it's possible. I was just reading an article about his girlfriend the other day, can't remember her name at the moment, she played Jackie on That 70's Show. Anyway she said her and McCauley have been together for 7 years!! I thought that was strange, cuz I'm sure I remember reading about him getting married before (and it wasn't to her). Anyway, she is really gorgeous and seems quite normal.
these poor kids. i hope they don't know about all this speculation about who their biological parents are. MJ WAS and WILL ALWAYS BE their dad.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 9:07am.
Raul you have the ballz to type what I was thinking.
Sometimes you just gotta go with your gut.
that's where the name blanket came from, because MC kept missing the cup and hitting...
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
With two inter-generational relationships to speculate on in one day, MK is really spoiling us!
Culkin and Jackson's relationship was almost certainly a sexual one - even if no molestations or intercourse took place.
For a man/lady of Jackson's age to take such a young child under his wing is telling of a disturbed/misdirected/stunted sexuality that is similar in nature to that seen in Catholic Priests.
Thus, Jackson and Culkin were no doubt on a similar sexual plane when this friendship started - notice how the relationship fizzled out when CUlkin entered adulthood, possibly because his libido had begun to direct itself toward objects with which Jackson couldn't relate? / breast, vagina, actual women who weren't transgendered racial chameleons who looked as though they should be selling cherub door knockers on QVC.
Perhaps that's why Culkin was the obvious choice here - being the first person that Jackson encountered who was sexually mature, and therefore made him look like a child - strange role reversal, possibly eased the asking of such a strange request.
Many transgenedered people also view themselves as being disabled in a sense, and even though they may be a male sleeping with another male, they consider the relationship to be a heterosexual one as their primary identity is female.
If Jackson were an intersexual/transgender/transexual/androgynous person then perhaps that is why he could father the children himself, because he saw himself/herself first and foremost as a disabled lesbian.
This is a possibility that will require more investigative journalism, although I thank The Sun for bringing these revelations to my attention.
Hopefully, through wild speculation and conjecture, we can all find some more dirt to jizz over.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 9:04am.
Blanket's real parents...
http://www.holcombetextileservices.co.uk/SubCatImages/14_DUVETS%20&%20PI...
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That is one horny looking pillow!
Raul you have the ballz to type what I was thinking.
Wow, how long was it in MJ's mouth?
I thought Mark Lester was the godfather. Did they have any godMOTHERs?
MJ sure was weird.