The Beer Snatch(er) Of Zachary, LA
42-year-old Lisa Newsome was arrested after she was caught on tape stuffing a 24-can case of beer up her muumuu and shoving several bottles of Coke in her titty area at a convenience store in Zachary, LA. I guess bitch wanted some beer in a bad way that she didn't care about getting a yeast infection. Yes, I'm here all week!
When Lisa was busted by the cops, she admitted that she stole the 20-pound case with help from her thieving snatch. Lisa even offered to demonstrate, but the cops told her to keep her chonies on. Lisa is still in jail on $1,000 bond.
The cops may not want to see Lisa's suction cup pussay at work, but I do! Homegirl has some major skills. Although, if Michelle Duggar ever gets into a life of crime, everybody should be scared. Screw a measly 24-pack, Michelle could swallow up an entire Old Milwaukee Brewery and then some!
VIA We Saw That
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@TheBreakdown: Thanks, love...be well; and you'll be hearing from THIS girl soon, so check your mail. Mwah!
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"You look like a girl who smokes out of a can."
breaktheleash:
I have made it easier for you digitally defiant sluts to read episodes of heaux-ism.
I'm a heaux with a heart!
look below!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
@TheBreakdown - hellooooooooo? Are you still in Germany? I just popped on to read the latest trash and saw your handsome face; thought I'd try to catch up w/ you. Hope all is well... I don't have Assbook or MyFace accounts, so I can't read and respond to what you've been up to...Hopefully you're having fun and beaucoup $$$.
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"You look like a girl who smokes out of a can."
This skank is obviously in the wrong profession.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
She's got some serious thigh muscles, I'll bet she can squish pumpkins between her legs.
Are you looking for millionaire singles or wealthy great looking soulmate?
I'm glad to recommend you a place____ WealthySeeker.com ____ to search them out! we have more than 1200,000 members including: lawyer,CEO,manager,model,actor,doctor,hollywood celebrities,althlets,investors.
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"People have been going in and out of this place for decades."
LOL.
I want hair just like hers! HAWT!
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
i think the lady must have watched the 'been caught stealing' video by janes addiction right before this stunt, lolz. remember the guy sticking a turkey up his mumu (or was it a pineapple?)
Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 3:55pm.
See Chupa thread. :)
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 3:40pm.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 3:12pm.
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*dies, gags, chokes, pisses laughing, and gags again*
BTW, where did you get my picture?
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I found your picture next to the men's restroom in a Huddle House outside of Del Rio. Your bizness card was stapled to it, 1-800-Do-Me-Now.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 3:12pm.
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*dies, gags, chokes, pisses laughing, and gags again*
BTW, where did you get my picture?
@I.G.
We shouldn't have told her to move her hips until she unloaded first.
http://i140.photobucket.com/albums/r36/crazyrachel02/Funny%20Comments/fa...
Submitted by Sluttsville on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 2:56pm.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8x9NNvCPEs
For I.G.
"I said: shush girl; shut your lips,
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."
Aheheeh MizRo *hugz*
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Bottom-feeder.
KEG-els.
*dying*
Hahahah Pleco!! You always make me laugh.
Lord knows I need to laugh. *muah* I hope she remembered the spout!
Submitted by MizRo on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 2:13pm.
Ruh? A suitcase of beer up her...
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No, MizRo, the case was between her thighs.
I think it was the KEG she stuffed up her...
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Bottom-feeder.
Ruh? A suitcase of beer up her...
IMPOSSIBLE.
This is actually pretty common mo for thieves. They have a belt, and then some kind of a bag between their legs to stuff things into. I had to watch for this when I worked retail. A few years before I had worked there a woman had made off with several leather jackets in this way.
Nice coif.
Maybe when she gets out she can give a live demo via YouTube. Just because the cops don't want to see it doesn't mean this would not be a good demo. Haha.
I love that the police chief's name is David McDavid!!! Awesome name!!!!!!
LOL stoney I was saying the same thing but watch the video, she does clasp it between her thighs!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
HAHAHAHA!
Loving the tags to this story.
"AAIGHT! WHO THROWED DAT BEER AT ME?"
I just sent this to my hubby and he is willing to put up the bail money, on the condition that the next time it's Dos Equis.
It's a good thing that Bud was...light.
Try the veal, folks! I'll be here all night.
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Bottom-feeder.
i feel sorry for the peen that finds it's way into this chick's steeltrap cooch...
and it makes me wonder what else was smuggled up there that was used later..*shudder*
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she was clumsy, stupid and mean, but I wouldn't wish that death on a opossum...
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 12:49pm.
I think the story is wrong and it was a 24 OUNCE beer. Sorry, but you can't fit a 24 case between your legs and walk. Impossible.
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You haven't met my sister in law. It took 50 lbs of melted butter and a huge shoehorn just to get her back into Wisconsin.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 12:50pm.
ha!
Submitted by mike on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 12:46pm.
Somewhere I have a newspaper clipping of an account of a large/obese woman who attempted to walk out of a department store with a tv claspted between her knees. She was wearing a long dress/muumuu so it was hidden from view. This was late '80s/early '90s, so the tv was pretty big. It took place in Pennsyltuckey if I recall correctly.
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And to clarify, when he says "tv" clasped between her knees, he's referring to a television, not the annoying dlisted poster.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I think the story is wrong and it was a 24 OUNCE beer. Sorry, but you can't fit a 24 case between your legs and walk. Impossible.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
"...warm Cuntineapple Juice"
with a side of cheese...?
*vomits*
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"I HAVE NO MORE GOTTDAMN CUPCAKES!" 08.18.09 The delicate flower that is Mrs. Bradiful Bitch
Plecostomus on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 12:46pm.
Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 12:42pm.
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You missed the thread on vodka tampons last week, didn't you?
I saw it didnt its not as disturbing
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
next arrest will be for sneaking into the zoo to fuck and elephant.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke
Wait, wait wait. She shoved a 24-pack up her snatch!?!?!?!??
Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 12:42pm.
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You missed the thread on vodka tampons last week, didn't you?
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Bottom-feeder.
Nothing like a nice tall glass of warm Cuntineapple Juice.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Somewhere I have a newspaper clipping of an account of a large/obese woman who attempted to walk out of a department store with a tv claspted between her knees. She was wearing a long dress/muumuu so it was hidden from view. This was late '80s/early '90s, so the tv was pretty big. It took place in Pennsyltuckey if I recall correctly.
She uses a life raft as a diaphragm.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 12:42pm.
does anyone remember my story about the lady who put the pineapple in her pussy! LOL
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Wasn't that Don Ho's sister, Dawn Ho?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
i need OP!! i gots a question for my fellow horz!
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www.walkms.org
do it for a fellow ho!
she uses a mattress as a tampon.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke
does anyone remember my story about the lady who put the pineapple in her pussy! LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
why would anyone put ONe can of beer between their snatch damn that must hurt, how the F I dont think I would ever never put anything food related damn I hate putting on tampons imagine a cold brew YUCK
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Submitted by Mother Superior on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 12:37pm.
If she can open wine bottles with her vag, then I'll clapp my hands.
Instead of ping pong balls, she can launch a can of brew across the room. Be ready to catch, Jack.
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Where You Gonna Find a Good Man Like Me?
She must use a Welcome mat as a pantyliner.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
*flaps bingo wings*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."