Ali Lohan Is On Her Way
(Warning: clear your throat before you read the first part) 15-year-old Ali Lohan isn't enrolled in regular school, because she's a full-time student at UCWB (University of Crack Whore Behavior). UCWB's Dean of Famehowhoring, Professor Blohan, has taken little Ali under her raggedy wing to mentor her in what's really important in life: PARTYING.
Life & Style reports that since White Oprah is mostly passed out in the lap of some trucker she picked up the night before, Blohan has been taking care of her younger sister. The two have been doing regular sister bonding activities like smoking and boozing club until dawn. I'm not being sarcastic, that really is a good way for sisters to bond. Hell, it's a good way for everyone to bond. Seriously, if your dog is giving you the silent treatment and throwing you shade, just take that bitch to the local club. By the end of the night, you'll be the second coming of Turner & Hooch!
One witness who was at L.A.'s Crown bar when Blohan and her apprentice were there said, “Lindsay didn’t coddle her or anything. They partied until after 1 a.m., and she treated Ali as if she were just one of her friends at the club with her." And another nosy bitch added, “Both of them were smoking like chimneys and dancing around.”
When Life & Style asked Michael Lohan about this, he didn't seem to be worried, “I’m glad Lindsay and Ali remain so close." Yes, Ali Lohan yacking up Alize in a urinal while Blohan kicks at her to hurry up really is a touching picture of sisterly love. Again, I'm not being sarcastic.
And before you start wondering how Ali is getting into these clubs, take a good look at her. Would you card a face like that? Exactly.
Here's the greatest older sister in the world (once again, not sarcasm) heading straight for the gutter in NYC last night.
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why do so many of you seem to care if Lindsay is doing coke? its no secret she's an addict but seriously, get over it. the only reason she's still on the cover of rags like this is because of all the attention we give her. I blame myself for her delusional thinking because by posting this comment, I'm telling Michael K that I give a shit about her trainwreck so he will continue to cover her and use pap pictures and they will continue to follow her. ignore her and she really will go away.
I do like the classy whore look though.. she'd look hot if she wasn't so trashed.
And Patrick Swayzee looks lustworthy RIP
I'm not trying to be a bleeding heart here, but life in Hollyweird must be hard for Linds. All that focus on looking a certain way and perfection. Her talent and overbearing mother has bought scrutiny. She's a natural red haired freckled girl and in her previous incarnations lovely for it. For all her skankiness remember she's just a kid that seriously has to grow up.
RIP Patrick Swayze. I remember seeing the movie "Ghost" when I was just in high school. Its a big loss for the movie industry. After a long battle with pancreatic cancer, the actor Patrick Swayze has passed away. He was 57 years of age. Patrick Swayze was diagnosed in 2008 with stage 4 cancer, and it metastasized to his liver. Pancreatic cancer is one of the most aggressive forms, with less than 5% of patients surviving 5 years, most succumbing within 6 months of diagnosis. Swayze leaves behind an intimidating body of work, including smashing successes in blockbuster films, hit TV shows, and even a few highly regarded indie appearances and stage work. He will certainly be sorely missed, and there will be many paycheck loans worth for tributes to Patrick Swayze.
Patrick Swayze should have made the cover instead of the non-relevant Lohan bitches.
Ali looks like Demi in Ghost, and Patrick Swayze is right there.
Weird.
Except she's alive, and he's not.
It's official. Life does NOT imitate art.
Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman to have sugar daddy??
It is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services came out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.
such as ^-^ sugarscupid.com ^-^
it’s the biggest sugar dating site for beautiful woman and rich man
Totally unrelated but i want the lipo jeans on the magazine cover
- <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 -
I think mastication means to chew your own penis...
15?
Too much tanning, drugs, whatever it is, she needs to slow the ef down...
I would not wipe my dog's ass with that magazine. The millionth crackhead story gets the cover and Patrick Swayze gets a little side blurb along with the millionth Angelina is starving herself story? I am so sick of looking at these fucking twats.
"WHO ORDERED THE HAMBURGER WITH AIDS?"
At first, I had the same reaction as everyone else: how does an underage person (who is KNOWN to be underage) consistently get into a bar?!? Then I realized that the world at large really wants these skankazoids to die.....maybe die is too harsh (I had a bad day and I abhor this family). No one has tried to intervene to help Whorehan. That sends a message that is loud and clear; no one gives a shit about this moron.
Oh God I love this headline.
I know, I know, I should be lamenting poor Ali's descent into sex, drugs and plastic surgery, but, but but...
I just read it like 'you've ruined your own lands, you're not ruining mine!!!!''
Some random line npcs used to shout in this old ass game (EQ) and just imagine Fippy Dark Pawn chasing Lindsay Lohan outta the town's gate.
Okay, I'm done laughing and talking obscurely about some random gaming connection.
Is that a dude or a chick in the second thumb behind Whore-han
*** "Michael Fux. Doesn't it sound like that's the way it was meant to be?"
*** MK, June 29,'09
Is that a dude or a chick in the second thumb behind Whore-han
*** "Michael Fux. Doesn't it sound like that's the way it was meant to be?"
*** MK, June 29,'09
urgh. The time I threw up Alize was the worst one ever.
Ali looks like Demi Moore in this pic.. which is scary because Demi is what, 35 years her senior?
Ali Lohan resembles Angie Harmon...
if Angie Harmon were 50 and anorexic.
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Patrick Swayze is in the sidebar because we all know he's been dying for what, 2 years now? It's not like it was a sudden thing. There have already been tons of tributes to his career, marriage, etc. in print. Plus, I'd much rather read about how Linds is fucking up CCoAL than some sad shit about how Patrick Swayze died anyway.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Throwing attitude ...
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"throwing you shade"
Could one of you more hip dlisters splain to me what this means. I need to know so I can use it in a sentence tonight at my AA mtg.
Oh yeah, She looks like a dime store stripper.
Why is she dressed like Roxy Hart in a commuity theater version of Chicago?????????
So gross. I'm really over her. I hate pretty girls who make themselves look ugly ON PURPOSE. I bust my ass everyday to look halfway decent, it's a fucking full time job. And this girl is born gorgeous, and has literally gone to shit.
is it just me, or has Ali Lohan been '15' since 2007? how long til this trick has her sweet 16 already?
What a shame.
Heading for vampire territory. Her next move should be to call C-Love and set up a lunch (drug) date.
Who keeps giving her money?
BLOWhan is always knawing on her fingers in recent pics. that bitch is back on the snow, hard man.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Seriously, tho - maybe she has a part time job as a pathetic cracked out hobo where she rakes in hundreds of dollars a day in coins.
That happened to us once when I was working at a record store. We used to cash in this hobo's coins (then we din't have to go get any! win/win!) and one day my co-worker turned to me and said, after his third pit-stop, "He earned twice as much money as we did today. Tax free."
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!
angel_i on Wed, 09/16/2009 - 12:53pm.
Waddyamean? It's going great! Can't you see?
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lol, true, what was i thinkin?
HoHan always reminds me of a 1960s Midge doll:
http://wherethetoysare.com/images/midge1111c.JPG
Barbie's befreckled cousin or whatever.
The one in this pic even has cokey eyes.
i was unaware that ali can look so much like potato head willis in some photos...go her.
wait, what?
the underage drinking thing pisses me off as well. shit when i was in college you had to pay like $200 to get a piece of shit fake ID that got taken away every other month. and this little skankarella gets to go and drink wherever she wants and probably for free.
oh and shes 15! 15! shit when i was 15 i think i was still playing with my american girl doll and jumping rope.
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what do i think? i think why not. rock and roll.
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Ugh, fucking Lindsay with her finger in her mouth trying to look sexy? Barf barf barf barf.
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
"throwing you shade"
Could one of you more hip dlisters splain to me what this means. I need to know so I can use it in a sentence tonight at my AA mtg.
Oh yeah, She looks like a dime store stripper.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 09/16/2009 - 12:40pm.
Lowhan is getting to the age now where she will have to rely on her smarts not just her youth. Lets see how that will go.
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Waddyamean? It's going great! Can't you see?
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!
BLOHAN - listen up buttercup. it's OVAH! you killed your career - do us all a favor and go away now.
and while you're at it stop with the lip injections, blonde hair, anorexia, hooker couture, and the coke because none of it is doing you any favors.
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what do i think? i think why not. rock and roll.
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What is with these shitty rag mags putting dear Patrick in the corner where he does NOT belong. I hope his Ghost haunts everyone of them.
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Nobody puts Swayze in the corner.
omg its Maniston in the back on thw 2nd pic!
Oh, and BTW, I think it's safe to assume that you just wasted your time reading my signature.
the whole underage bar thing REALLY pisses me off...the ABC shut down the best bar down the street for A MONTH because of a minor infraction (can't remember but it wasn't underage drinking because the average age is probably 70 there)...they could make so much $$$$ in fines just walking into any hollywood bar on any given night...sigh...celebrities, still better than the rest of us
p.s. and yeah patrick shoulda had the cover
Agree with everyone else on PS!!! Fucking horz get the main spread when all they're good for is spreading the split. AAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!
*sharpens shank*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Not too long after the spit/swallow issue is addressed most of them develop post-coital amnesia.
Posted By KittyCat. 9*3*09
Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 09/16/2009 - 12:23pm.
WTF..Patrick Swayze gets a blurp on the cover while the
Blohan turds get the main cover??
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Patrick Swayze demonstrated how to be a movie star and still be a gracious, humble and classy.
Meanwhile, a raging Hag like Blowhan is still trawling the back alleys of LA for heroin.
Why does LL even bother? Doesn't she know that no one takes her seriously any more? Save the money on the fish lips! The trendy outfits! CAUSE NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!
Everything goes in Blohan-Land.
Both graduates of Dinas home schooling! Shouldn't Hohan be trying to sneak Ali into a bar right about now?
Michael's too busy coaching Anne Heche and Coley Laffoon to be bothered with this.
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Always Look On the Bright Side...
Her and Taylor Momsen need to become besties and hook on the corners because they look 45 and not 15.
www.ifeelyaophelia.com
Jenna Jean
Every club/bar/pool hall that has allowed that 15 year old in needs to have their license pulled and CPS needs to be called on the mother. If Michael Lohan has any kind of guardianship rights and has allowed this on his watch or has failed to report Dina for neglect then he gets a visit from CPS too. What fucking asshole, bottom-feeding, narcissistic parents those two are!
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I am not a pussy.
Lowhan is getting to the age now where she will have to rely on her smarts not just her youth. Lets see how that will go.
They both look like shite.
I have no doubt that these two share everything; including venereal diseases.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i