The Government Cheese Version of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Is Over
Last month, it was reported that the punk fart princesses' marriage to Sonic the Douchehog was headed for the gutter, because he just couldn't take her being a drunken skank anymore. Well, UsWeekly says that Avril Lavigne has pink slipped (not in a sexy way either) Deryck Whibley and evicted him from their mansion in Bel Air. Queef like you care.
A source said that Avril will drop divorce papers in Deryck's lap any day now, "She dumped him and told him she was leaving him. She wants to move on. Divorce papers will be filed any day now."
29-year-old Deryck and 25-year-old Avril made it legal around 3 years ago.
I don't blame Avril. Having a pesky ring on your finger gets in the way of passing the pussay to every booze bottle and dick around town. Just replace that wedding ring with a clit ring and she's good to go!
And now I must file for divorce from the short bus anthem "SK8R Boi." Every time I see Avril's male syrupy face, that stupid ass song fucks me in the brains repeatedly....without protection.
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is she really 25?? and she still dresses like that?? what a fucktard. TRY HARDER, bitch!
Avril is too much of an immature, dumb cunt to be married anyways. Homegirl still acts like she's 14 and so "punk rawk" *vomits*
::And as God as my witness, I will never shampoo your hair again!" - Blanche Devereaux::
Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman to have sugar daddy??
It is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services came out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.
such as ^-^ sugarscupid.com ^-^
it’s the biggest sugar dating site for beautiful woman and rich man
Deryck opened the door and put the trash (Avril) by the curb. Goodbye and good riddance to rubbish.
Sonic the Douchehog
LMAO! Michael K.......You've been playing Sonic on xbox 360 haven't you honey? Okay fine! I do too!
she should just cut him with that razor nose of hers
let him bleed out and say it was an accident in bed
she'd save a ton on lawyers and alimony
Homigod, "Sonic The Douchehog?!?." I am CRYING!
We never saw this coming! He has one of the biggest noses ever.
Thank yooooo, M.K., for associating my good name with these two vacant twats. Surprised, actually, that their marriage lasted this long. Maybe she couldn't find him to serve the divorce papers.
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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 12:01pm.
did you ever try the government cheese? they made the best, best, best grilled cheese sandwiches...
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hellz yeah! when I was little, we would go visit my mom's 'adoptive' grandmother. she was this tiny little old lady who lived in a trailer covered in pictures of Jebus. she always had the gubment cheese and it was gooooooood. she always gave us some to take home.
She's been packaged from day one, and she's way past her expiration date.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/suburb_compatible/2207019680/
bo_tatoe, if by achievement you mean "dressing up with rubber bracelets, funny faces and a guitar you can't play and calling yourself 'punk'", then yes, Avril has achieved something.
Manimal5: Patrick Swayze did. Sniffle.
kdracofan, oooooh, that would be juicy. I've frankly never gotten a straight girl vibe from Avril, she always seemed more like the girl who wants to be a boy instead of a girl who merely acts like one. She's mannish in attitude. I betcha she's the secret lesbian. It would also explain why she's ignored her poor ugly hubby.
did you ever try the government cheese? they made the best, best, best grilled cheese sandwiches...
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she was clumsy, stupid and mean, but I wouldn't wish that death on a opossum...
"... Version of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz ..."
BITCH PLEASE, reality check!
Do not reference two nobodies who don't exist when it's about one somebody who actually happens to be a somebody.
You don't have to like her but do recognize achievement opposite to zero achievement. Being famous for pretending to to be famous is no achievement.
Doesn't anybody stay married?
wasn't this one of the Blind Items about "once the wife presents the divorce papers to her soon to be ex, will 'come out' as per her gf's request'?
Heard she's been wanting to get it on in a lesbionic way...
I found a great dating site____ diamondsingle.com ____. The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs.. what's the most important is that you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one. I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy.
What's kind of relationship do you want?Hope you can find your perfect match.
he has such a weird face
wait, what?
File this one under:
"Who gives a goddamn?!"
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
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I din't even know the government made cheese!
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!
Submitted by chowgirl69 on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 9:12am.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 9:10am.
You Canucks even respond civilly and good-naturedly to a troll who has insulted your country. Don't ever change.
When you're the "government cheese" version of an Asshole Simpson or a Pete Wentz, it's time to just kill yourself.
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http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 8:54am.
Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 8:51am.
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I know! Sort of like a cross between a ferret and a troll doll.
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LOL! you nailed it!
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 9:10am.
Submitted by Poopele on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 8:50am.
Freakin' Canadians shouldn't be allowed to marry and reproduce anyway
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aww poor Poopy needs a hug and some Timbits
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Yeah cuz just imagine what could happen if us Canadians starting breeding...intelligent & good looking people everywhere!! Can't have that, lol.
barfbag one and barfbag two. i guess deryck can't use avrils hot topic store card anymore, aww shuckkkss.
Submitted by Poopele on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 8:50am.
Freakin' Canadians shouldn't be allowed to marry and reproduce anyway
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aww poor Poopy needs a hug and some Timbits.
jt
these two are about as punk as pumped-up South Beach queens circa 2000.
as in - not.
I'm just glad they didn't breed a Down's vampire teeth babeh.
I object to this characterization. Government cheese is tasty. These two fuckers are not. May I suggest that they are the dick cheese version? But, then that leads to the question, how foul is the dick cheese of dick cheese?
umm who and who and double the I dont care.
Coma Caca!!
Submitted by greenfinch on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 8:43am.
they live in california..50/50 non?
Yup, unless they have a prenup. But weren't they both well off before marriage? Each might be able to keep that monies.
TAKE IT TO KATRINA!!!
"short bus anthem "SK8R Boi." No, MK those kids are smarter than to listen to that dreck. That being said,the marriage lasted about 2 1/2 years longer than I thought it would. He's better off without her.
Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 8:51am.
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I know! Sort of like a cross between a ferret and a troll doll.
The Best Damn Marriage is over? That's a shame.
Being edgy and cool can take it's toll on a relationship. They were probably always fighting over who got to wear the 'To Write Love on Her Arms' t-shirt.
Wonder who will get custody of the hair gel?
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 8:43am.
Well, at least they didn't procreate.
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thank god for that! can you imagine their spawn??! that would be one bitchy, ugly little fuck.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Freakin' Canadians shouldn't be allowed to marry and reproduce anyway.
I thought Pete and Ashley were already government cheese themselves.
I want you to pluck me like a fruit - Blanche Devereaux
snowpiece,
I think it is an insult to Sid & Nancy, dead dope fiends that they are, to be included in the same sentence as "Hot Topic". Although, I'm sure a stabbing/overdose with these two would give alot of people the smiles. LOL
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 8:43am.
Well, at least they didn't procreate.
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That we know of....
Hasn't she been dating that Brandon guy, that used to call Lindsay Lohan firecrotch all the time? I've seen pictures of them together all the time.
http://www.ifeelyaophelia.com
Jenna Jean
dreadpiratecuervo : they are the Hot Topic Sid and Nancy
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
I love the "Who Cares News?"
I only wish that they'd had a public fight.
If either one of them are into retail therapy, Hot Topic stock is going to go through the roof!
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
Who?
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Submitted by Raul Duke on Thu, 09/17/2009 - 8:40am.
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BWAHAHAHAH! Raul, you made me snort in front of my co-workers and I had to pretend it was a cough and make a very serious work face.
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink