Zooey Deschanel Married The Dude From Death Cab For Cutie

Willie Nelson has nothing to do with this story, but the ole' stoner should be in every picture. And he's wearing a pineapple shirt, so it was a no-brainer. Anywaaaaay....

Zooey Deschanel married Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie on Saturday night in a town near Seattle, Washington. The two have been making soft and sometimes depressing music together for about two years.

Anybody who watched the episode of Top Chef: Masters that Zooey was on, knows that homegirl is a serious vegan who doesn't even fart on gluten. She doesn't touch the stuff. So I can only imagine what their wedding reception was like. They probably released everyone into an open field and let them graze on the grass like damn cows. Then they nibbled on some dandelions for dessert. If you wanted to booze it up, you had to eat fermented apples off the ground. I'm not joking. That's totally what it was like.

My ass would've been evicted from that wedding for smuggling in a 6-piece from Popeye's in my ass crack and a bottle of MD in my taint. I would've done it Newsome-style. Trust me, there's room.

VIA People

Posted by: Michael K

•

Weddings

Submitted by joan cusack on Tue, 09/22/2009 - 6:00am.

They probably released everyone into an open field and let them graze on the grass like damn cows

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Today's coffee-spitting moment!

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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates

Submitted by redpoint_blackdot on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 11:14pm.

Alrighty! I find Zooey Deschanel completely inoffensive and kind of an anti fame whore and i couldnt give two fucks about what she eats. Bitch looks healthy and happy and just because someone has a post on here doesnt mean there must be a way to have this person ragged on like she ate your babies.

"I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!"
- Kathy Griffin

Submitted by Noelegy on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 8:48pm.

I was a vegetarian for close to ten years and almost invariably, I would be the LEAST picky eater in any given group, and I would take far more crap from others about how I ate than I ever gave anyone for eating meat.

If someone asked about my reasons and was being sincere (and not just wanting to rag on me), I would answer their questions, but I wasn't a preachy veg by any means. And the preachy ones always annoyed me.

***************
Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull

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Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 7:17pm.

Submitted by celessa on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 6:43pm.
zooey's vegan? hardly. she and ben were in the fatty, cheese-infested french bistro (aka cafe presse, in the capitol hill neighborhood of seattle) where i work about 11am this (monday) morning.

Ha! But what did she eat? (BTW you are so fired.)
________________
Late middle age, he was coming to understand, was a time of life when everything was predictable and yet somehow you failed to see any of it coming.

Submitted by celessa on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 7:13pm.

zooey's vegan? hardly. she and ben were in the fatty, cheese-infested french bistro (aka cafe presse, in the capitol hill neighborhood of seattle) where i work about 11am this (monday) morning. i had no idea they had just gotten married! they were with ben's whole side of the family and ben kept addressing his grandmother as 'granny.' it was pretty cute.

Submitted by stake_spike on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 6:37pm.

Aw I like her, she's so cute.

But I agree they look like they're the most annoying hipster couple.

Submitted by Larilee on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 5:10pm.

She doesn't consider herself vegan. She has severe food allergies (gluten and soy) and since her sister Emily is vegan, she often eats vegan. But she actually considers herself a mostly vegetarian.

Submitted by Sensimina on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 1:38pm.

Something about Zooey D. has bothered me ever since Elf. I think it was the singing scenes shamelessly plugging her voice for the music industry to fawn over. She's cute and I want to like her, but there's something fake about her. Also, this picture of her dude in his "Man on the Moon" outfit made me dislike her even more.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule

Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 1:11pm.

I love Zooey Deschanel and I love vegans too.
Damn, you bitches are pissy!

♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!

Submitted by Rae Rae on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 12:13pm.

"I never understand why vegans get so much shit for not exploiting or supporting the killing of animals (I know some people are just being sarcastic.)."

Because people in general don't give a shit about what they do or how it effects anyone. Forget abotu food, look at just straight etiquette. I'm vegan too and it's a very personal thing but people who hate on it are LAME.

Submitted by c-est_moi on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 12:10pm.

I am so glad the biopic with her playing Janis Joplin got axed. She's no Janis -- Like every one says, she plays the "quirky nerdy" girl over and over, which is fine, but I don't see her filling that role properly.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 12:09pm.

they also seem like they would be the most annoying hipster couple ever !!!!!

Submitted by Vern on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 12:08pm.

Greenfinch-
Vegan Alfredo sounds awesome!
There is an ice-cream made from coconut milk that is the best 'vegan' product EVER!

I wonder if Michael can hide coconuts in his taint?

Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 12:08pm.

for some reasons she bugs the shit out of me...yes she's pretty but i have hated all the "acting" roles she's done..."look at me i'm a doe eyed hipster" (who like everyone else has said) is painfully forced "quirky"...i'm a fucking vegetarian but i could NEVER be vegan...i loves my cheese too much...

Submitted by shandiRW on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 11:39am.

does she play the same role in every movie she's in? the voice, eyes, no expression. i agree with whoever said deliberatley too quirky, blah!

***********************************
"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho

"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK

Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 11:37am.

vegan desserts are the worst EVER!!
but I have had 3 bean chili at a vegan place that was delicious

Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"

Submitted by blaaaake on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 11:30am.

*yawn*

Submitted by c-est_moi on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 11:07am.

She has a wonky eye.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:57am.

So...I guess an Omaha Steak House gift card as a gift is out of the question.

_______________________________________________
"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone

Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:52am.

Submitted by quesadilla on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:16am.
I don't boast or preach anything.

Good! Then you're the exception. I don't take kindly to anyone else telling me how to live, no matter what the topic.

_________________
Late middle age, he was coming to understand, was a time of life when everything was predictable and yet somehow you failed to see any of it coming.

Submitted by quesadilla on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:46am.

I don't boast or preach anything. The only time I mention being a vegan is when someone offers me food and I say no thank you and then they ask why and I say because I am a vegan. After I say that the only thing that happens is one asshole will try to probe me about being a vegan, not to find out why I am a vegan, just to be obnoxious. Other than that I know I am not going to convert anyone to veganism. That would be like me trying to convince a religious person to become an atheist. I know it is not going to happen, so I don't bother.

Submitted by greenfinch on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:24am.

Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:51am

omg totally agree..

Submitted by greenfinch on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:23am.

Submitted by MyFingersHurt on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:23am.
i know exactly what being a vegan is thank you very much..its about not eating anything good, preaching to your friends about animal cruelty and selling non animal products on your website and spamming all your friends with bullshit about every last thing mentioned above on facebook 4-5 times a week...oh an never coming to your friends place for dinner for fear of an ounce of animal protien may have inched over on toyour lentils...

trust me i know exactly what being a vegan is...

veganism = annoying as fuck

Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:21am.

Submitted by quesadilla on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:47am.

I never understand why vegans get so much shit for not exploiting or supporting the killing of animals (I know some people are just being sarcastic.).

It's because they either boast or proselytize about it.
________________
Late middle age, he was coming to understand, was a time of life when everything was predictable and yet somehow you failed to see any of it coming.

Submitted by quesadilla on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:17am.

I never understand why vegans get so much shit for not exploiting or supporting the killing of animals (I know some people are just being sarcastic.).

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:11am.

LOL@ sensimina.

I read recipes for fun and some vegan recipes sound good.

However, I don't understand the concept of tofu bacon or turkey. If you think eating animals is wrong, why is eating a facsmile of their meat okay?

Submitted by Snarf on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:09am.

Maybe some people choose to be vegans cause they really,really don't like plants.

**********
Shiitake happens...

Submitted by Sensimina on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:00am.

MyFingersHurt

Veganism is disgusting and makes people smell and look bad. I mean do what makes you happy but it's fucking gross. Vegans smell like they brush their teeth with hummus and bathe in fermented bean paste.

Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:59am.

they look like they would totally have a long ass conversation about the newest farmer's market after fucking.zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I agree with whoever said the hipster era needs to be over.die hipster scum!

Submitted by freebird on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:56am.

Submitted by MyFingersHurt on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:23am.
Wow. So many people are ignorant about what veganism is, and what the food is like. Surely you know that vegans don't eat grass & there are amazing, delicious vegan foods out there?
*****
Surely you know what sarcasm is and that there are many amazing, hilarious ways to use it out there.

Submitted by MyFingersHurt on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:53am.

Wow. So many people are ignorant about what veganism is, and what the food is like. Surely you know that vegans don't eat grass & there are amazing, delicious vegan foods out there?

Anyway, they're a cute couple! I want to see the pics.

Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:39am.

now this is some dull ass coupling.

Submitted by freebird on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:35am.

LOL MK! Hilarious post!!! I love her voice.

Submitted by kanderso on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:22am.

She annoys me for some reason...too deliberately quirky and twee.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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Submitted by greenfinch on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:22am.

they prob served seeds, berries and tofu for dinner. no booze. and no cake :S

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Submitted by herbivore on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:19am.

ben gibbard has been vegan for years. maybe she did it for him. how romantic!

Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:17am.

haha fucking lame hipster cunts, go die.

Submitted by greenfinch on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:14am.

Submitted by Vern on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 8:38am

haha i agree, ive had a few and most do suck

although i have a good recipe for a vegan alfredo sauce which is quite tastey.

Submitted by freshfacestripper on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:11am.

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Submitted by Vern on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:08am.

I just meant I have to buy vegan products because I know they won't have milk or eggs in them. Trust me, most of them suck.

Submitted by greenfinch on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:05am.

Submitted by jls on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 8:13am

what is the point in being a partial vegan. i mean if you have allergies thats one thing but if youre vegan youre vegan..thats that.

and she doesnt look sick enough to be a total vegan. all teh true vegans i know look grey and have brown teeth

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Submitted by Vern on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 8:57am.

REAL gluten intolerance is a disease: called Celiac, it's no joke, it makes you feel like Amy Winehouse when she can't get the bad shit. (Maybe she should meet Kerry Katona's mom)

And I have to do a partial vegan thing because of milk/egg allergys.
BUT! I love steaky!
So now I have two new heroes!
Zooey (remember weeds?) AND Michael's acrobatic taint!!!!!!!!

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 8:56am.

Submitted by jls: "To be fair, they played up her veganism and whatnot on Top Chef-- she's only SOMETIMES vegan, and does eat meat and gluten from time to time (out of her own mouth"

Not harshing on YOU, but that is stupid. That means that EVERYONE is a vegan, by her definition. I'M a vegan sometimes. Yes, sometimes I will eat a meal that doesn't contain any animal produts. I might go for two meals in a row that are (unintentionally) vegan.

I mean, whatever she wants to call herself is fine with me, but I bet the real vegans are pissed.

Submitted by jls on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 8:43am.

To be fair, they played up her veganism and whatnot on Top Chef-- she's only SOMETIMES vegan, and does eat meat and gluten from time to time (out of her own mouth-- see: some of her Craig Ferguson interviews), so yknow. Grain of salt.

I find Ben Gibbard pretty obnoxious, but absolutely adore Zooey.

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