Get Ready To See All Of This In Playboy
Bethenny Frankel better come out with a Skinny Girl Dramamine-tini, because the world at large is going to need it when Kelly Bensimon of The Real Housewives of New York City flaunts her lopsided tittays in the pages of December's Playboy. That is the worst Christmas present ever.
InTouch Weekly says that Kelly won't bare it all. Thankfully, she's keeping her leather cooch wallet to herself. Kelly's ex-husband, photographer and former Elle creative director Gilles Bensimon, will shoot the pictures. The source added, “Kelly is a former model, so she will be a natural."
This is going to be Playboy's thickest issue, because Kelly's "at war" boobies won't fit on one page together. One titty will be on page 6 while the other will be on page 10. It's going to be like putting a damn puzzle together.
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God -whoever does the photoshopping is going to need a vacation after trying to fix this....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
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I see a peen.
ParisHilton: "Huge"
Everything looks good except for the stomach and the boobs.
I see she's posing at the oh-so-classy Sandals.
Plus, she's wearing a cross.
Is that allowed.
Also, wtf with those black lines coming out of her bikini?
It's like a goody trail run rampant...
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Submitted by Antiheroe on Wed, 09/23/2009 - 11:59pm.
She has a nice tuck game.
________________________
even if the tits were gone, that would be a fucked up body for a dude.
I find the word "natural" hilaric in this context. If this is truly how Mother Nature created Bethenny, she must have done something in a past life to seriously piss her off.
What in the fresh hell is going on with that torso? Bitch should wear tunics forever, every day, for the rest of her life, and then 6 feet under in the ground.
She has a nice tuck game.
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Why should I be humble, if I know that I am THE BEST IN THE WORLD?
That is the most fucked up body I've ever seen in my entire life. Sheryl Crow comes in second.
Seriously, it looks like she has a third boob, under her left boob. Am I the only one that is seeing this? It's like an abnormal growth on her left side.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I guess the only reason they're letting her pose is a) they really need to sell magazines and b) Gilles is shooting it. There's no way Playboy could swing for that kind of talent (besides haven't they been using the same photog for years)?
Former is right. I've seen sexier bags of potatoes. This photoshop job is gonna take a team working 24 hrs a day til deadline.
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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
And the b*tches proclaimed Christina Hendricks is "fat." Yeah, guys are really into Skeletor here, believe me. Men don't like competing bones, if you know what I mean.
She's going to need Photoshop times one million for Playboy.
i already thought kelly was vile with clothes on...she is even more disgusting in a bikini...who finds this person sexy? who?
_____________________________________________
she was clumsy, stupid and mean, but I wouldn't wish that death on a opossum...
Why is that woman smiling?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
We uphold the gaudy, crass and greed,
Waiting to make fun of those who breed.
Brad can fuck Angie in his grotto,
But Dlisters snark, That's our motto. ~~N.Witty
Well.
We found Arnold Shwarzenegger's torso.
That's something, I guess.
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She also looks like she has a ceasarian scar.
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I'm not really that smart, it's just that everyone else is so damn stupid!
Ummm....no. Do not want.
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!
She's got a ninja turtles body.
Peter Belly!!!! I love that, Jill-the-Ripper....i have called it a beetle belly, but peter belly is better....say that 10 times fast
What fresh hell is this?
Ok, which of you Playboy subscribing whores is jackin' it to the likes of this???? I mean, REALLY??? FOR SHAME, FOR SHAME...
I'm all for cougar whores bringing on da SESSSAY, but look, REALITY CHECK! Yo' ass need to be nekkid in Mrs. Robinsons Nekkid Monthly...LEAVE PLAYBOY ALOOOOONE....
Actually, I don't care...Complete the grannification of Playboy...Ain't no skin off my ass...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Thanks. I just threw up a little bit.
This dumb cunt was on the local news tonight, selling the joo-ree she made with dull coke razors and paper clips (designs NOT STOLEN from her former friend/biz partner). I wanted to drink bleach.
thank god for photoshop I guess! ack
A+ for tucking.
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She has what my sister and I have always called a "peter belly"
Meaning a thin barfly-type chick with a bit of a pudge for the guy to rest his dick on.
What a treat it will be to see all of her mutilated glory airbrushed to the near-barbie status she thought she would reach with all of her surgery. I've n'er seen such wonk.
OK, THe Hef is putting these compass-confused titty balls in his mag?
We are in a recession!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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To quote Frost:
Meh face? Check.
Awful plastic tits? Check.
Thick waist? Check.
"Hips" same width as waist? Check.
***
Truer words were never spoken.
She looks like a dude. Someone put her on blast on TheDirty.com. Gross. I'd rather look like I do now than look like her, and I have a fat ass.
I don't know what's going on between the two pieces of her bikini, but it ain't right. And I fear it is going to give me the bad dreams.
Meh face? Check.
Awful plastic tits? Check.
Thick waist? Check.
"Hips" same width as waist? Check.
I'm missing why this is such a travesty: this is what Playboy's been crapping out since the '90s. The only difference is that this one is lumpier than most of the others pre-Photoshop.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
Ug, ick, gross! What a nasty looking body!
BWHAHAAAHA! She's at Sandals...LOL! Guess her expensive and luxurious getaways to St. Barts have gotten away. She is a bitch. Trust me.
*** "Michael Fux. Doesn't it sound like that's the way it was meant to be?"
*** MK, June 29,'09
Submitted by EatYourVeggies: "She has the torso of an grizzled old truck driver."
LMFPO!
I despise this nasty trick. She is mean and petty and insecure. Bethenny ran circles around her. Her body looks bad in this photo, but it's pretty nice - except for her FrankenBoobs, which are as bad as Posh's old ones.
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I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy .You should check it out!!!
She is seriously disgusting and weird. Not funny charming weird, just plain freaking nuts. Bethenny will take the skinny cake any day. PUN INTENDED. Does anybody know if she is getting her own tv show?
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Jenna Jean
And this folks is why Playboy is losing money.
who is this woman?
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Ok I'm not a man, but are there guys out there who honestly want to see this messed-up body? The world must have spun off its axis if this shit is for real.
“Kelly is a former model, so she will be a natural."
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Yeah? Keep it that way.
xoxoxoxo
hugs y'all.
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
She a-l-w-a-y-s poses with that collapsed knee. My friends and I sometimes play a game where we fold a paper in thirds. One person draws a picture of someone from the neck up, someone else draws the torso, someone else the legs. No one can see what the others have drawn. You wind-up with something funny like a monster head, a boy torso, and a mermaid tail. That's what this looks like.
OMGGGGGGGGGGG Her body is horrid
jt
jesus christ, I know they're going to pay her to pose for them, but are they going to pay people to buy the magazine too? from the looks of this lumpy whore, they're going to have to.
They got the boy part right.
No waist!!