Open Post: Hosted By Richard Irby
Go ahead and pick up your genitals off the floor before reading on. Make sure to dust them off first.
So, sometimes justice is not served. For instance, take the case of the thong-wearing bicycle-riding pepawpaw of Tallahassee, FL. 55-year-old Richard Irby was busted after residents at a trailer park complained about him walking around in spandex panties with his limpy peenus out. Richard was charged with indecent exposure and a judge told him he can no longer ride around town with his wrinkly pancakes hanging out. Richard has to wear shorts that come down to his knees.
This is what I don't get. Lady CaCa is allowed to sashay through the streets of the world with her dick hanging out and you don't see her getting arrested! Yes, the sight of this bald bear with his belly bouncing around may give you cotton mouth in the vagina, but if he wants to do dry anal with a bike seat out in public, that's his RIGHT!
And the city of Tallahassee should be thankful that they don't have (NSFL) this piping hot grandpa with a mutant peen roaming their streets. Seriously, ole' dude's wang could star in a remake of Tremors.
• 
Are you looking for sexy wealthy men/beautiful women to date? This is the premier dating community that will fit your requirements. Start searching on "Militaryflirting.c o m"today,you never know what tomorrow may bring.
Guy looks like he goes around sniffing little girls' bicycle seats. Just sayin'.
___________________________________
www.peopleofwalmart.com
___________________________________
www.peopleofwalmart.com
Submitted by speakit on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 10:35pm
hehehe!... i think i dated her! night, speakit!
-----------------------------
"I found out, long ago...
It's a long way down the Holiday Road."
ese, whatever your troubles are, I hope your day goes smoothly tomorrow.
I will leave you with this:
John took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked the man. "I want to get weighed," said the girl. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
'Night
Submitted by speakit on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 10:22pm.
heehee!... yeah, the day's only got a half hour left... hopefully i can sleep soon, tomorrow's gonna be a mutha! *cues Paula Abdul*.. "Two steps forward, I take two steps back"
... how did that come to mind?!
-----------------------------
"I found out, long ago...
It's a long way down the Holiday Road."
well, ese, there is one great thing about a horrible day. It ends. And every tomorrow is a fresh start.
I have a joke for you:
The Kentuckian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car.
"Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"Nope", he replied.
A few minutes later, as they makeout became heated, she asked, “Now do you want to get in the back seat?”
"No, I don't", he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."
Submitted by speakit on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 10:15pm.
i'm gonna swill in the aftermath of a horrible day... don't mind me, i'm just in a mood
-----------------------------
"I found out, long ago...
It's a long way down the Holiday Road."
whatsa matter, ESE? Bad day?
"Up in smoke
Thats where my money goes
In my lungs
and sometimes up my nose
When troubled times
Begin to bother me
I take a toke
and all my cares
Go up in smoke
Up in smoke
Donde todos es mi rey
There are no signs
Que dice no fumer
So I roll un "bomber"
Y me doy, un buen toke-ay
Y despues I choke
Y todos mis cares
Go up in smoke
Come on let's go get high
Up in smoke
That's where I wanna be
'Cause when I'm high
The world below
Don't bother me
When life begins
To be one long
and dangerous road
I take a toke
and all my cares
Go up in smoke"
yeah... that's the kinda mood i'm in.. thought i'd share
-----------------------------
"I found out, long ago...
It's a long way down the Holiday Road."
Does he pick up peanuts with that shit?
I clicked on the NSFL link. Why is that dude's peen SO WEIRD?!?
those anti-smoking videos were dreadful. i'm so glad i quit.
No way, Jazzfish!! I'm not playing another one. It took all kinds of talking to get my boy to calm down. Rattled my nerves. Then I had a smoke. :p
I know it's all late on open post, but I just wanted to share something pretty funny.
****************************************************
That was funny? Someone shooting blind into a darkened room at a NOISE???
God help us all. :(
Submitted by speakit on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:59pm.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:52pm.
speakit, try this PSA for smoking: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YjrkBYDDQM
________________________________________________
*sigh* I played it and now my son is giving me the lecture of a lifetime.
====
This is another good one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEGLlo8IY5E
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:52pm.
speakit, try this PSA for smoking: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YjrkBYDDQM
________________________________________________
*sigh* I played it and now my son is giving me the lecture of a lifetime.
Submitted by speakit on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:35pm.
ubmitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:33pm.
Today's scary picture: http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-4/254images/300.jpg
_________________________________________
That is scary and sad. Can you find one with the lungs of a smoker? cuz that's my vice
====
speakit, try this PSA for smoking: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YjrkBYDDQM
ubmitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:33pm.
Today's scary picture: http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-4/254images/300.jpg
_________________________________________
That is scary and sad. Can you find one with the lungs of a smoker? cuz that's my vice
Submitted by speakit on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:30pm.
I'm all for the right to bear arms, btw. I would just hate to think of any accidents, ya know?
=======
Gun Safety 101
1. Treat all guns as if loaded.
2. Never point a load gun unless you intend to shoot.
3. When you shoot, shoot to kill.
************************************************
I never said that it was your fault. I said that I'm going to blame you.
************************************************
Today's scary picture: http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-4/254images/300.jpg
Submitted by MissLoveInTx on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:26pm.
She shot and ran, and luckily her kids were staying the night at a friends' house.
___________________________________
well that's good! She should take a gun safety course if she hasn't already. I'm all for the right to bear arms, btw. I would just hate to think of any accidents, ya know?
If you can't see your target, don't shoot. That's a good rule. :)
Submitted by MissLoveInTx on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:26pm.
She shot and ran, and luckily her kids were staying the night at a friends' house. She is just ganster like that lol.
=======
Little Ms. Alice Capone.
************************************************
I never said that it was your fault. I said that I'm going to blame you.
************************************************
Yeah it is a messed up situation..she was so mad because she just moved in about two months ago but it's a rental property and there are a lot of home invasions that go on around her neighborhood. She had her landlord on the phone right after the situation happened.
**********************************
"AND YES SHE DID NOT HAVE TOILET PICTURES HERE WHEN Y'ALL PROBABLY WANT HER WIG RIPPIN' ON THE SEAT AND DOING A BOOT CLAP PROBABLY NOT!"-Keepin the comingback memory alive for Dlisted whores!!
She shot and ran, and luckily her kids were staying the night at a friends' house. She is just ganster like that lol.
**********************************
"AND YES SHE DID NOT HAVE TOILET PICTURES HERE WHEN Y'ALL PROBABLY WANT HER WIG RIPPIN' ON THE SEAT AND DOING A BOOT CLAP PROBABLY NOT!"-Keepin the comingback memory alive for Dlisted whores!!
Submitted by MissLoveInTx on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:18pm.
I dont know if I should laugh or feel bad for your friend, having a ceiling collapsing is fucked up, but that story is pretty funny
....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K
lol probably so..but according to her it was the massive amounts of rain we've had lately. she is the most feisty person i have met under 5 feet tall..my lil gansta girl!!
**********************************
"AND YES SHE DID NOT HAVE TOILET PICTURES HERE WHEN Y'ALL PROBABLY WANT HER WIG RIPPIN' ON THE SEAT AND DOING A BOOT CLAP PROBABLY NOT!"-Keepin the comingback memory alive for Dlisted whores!!
Submitted by MissLoveInTx on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:18pm.
So instictively, she grabs her gun and shoots in her living room.
__________________________________
Do you mean 'shoots' in her living room as in ran quickly or actually took a shot? Cuz if she actually shot, I'm glad it wasn't one of her kids that made a loud noise in the living room.
Submitted by MissLoveInTx on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:18pm.
LOL. Did the ceiling cave in because of previous shootings she's done? ;)
************************************************
I never said that it was your fault. I said that I'm going to blame you.
************************************************
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:10pm.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 3:30pm.
Fuck. Why do hangovers have to involve headaches that feel like massive strokes?
~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever had one of those hangovers where it feels like when you wake up you slept too long on one side, and your brain feels as if it's stuck to the inside of your skull in one place?
====
I always feel like the alcohol puddles to the low point in your head when you sleep. The pain seems to be worse there. That's why I need to stand up and let it drain out. Strange?
I know it's all late on open post, but I just wanted to share something pretty funny. I wanna give props to my friend who is a single mother of two small kids. Last night she heard a loud BOOM!! noise at her front door at about 4 am and thought someone was trying to break in her house. So instictively, she grabs her gun and shoots in her living room. Then proceeds to jump out of her window (it was POURING outside) in nothing but a t-shirt, tucks and rolls rambo style in her front yard and starts montoring the premises. she made it to the front door and opens it, to find out that the loud boom was from her ceiling caving in from all the rain. Hot mess!!
**********************************
"AND YES SHE DID NOT HAVE TOILET PICTURES HERE WHEN Y'ALL PROBABLY WANT HER WIG RIPPIN' ON THE SEAT AND DOING A BOOT CLAP PROBABLY NOT!"-Keepin the comingback memory alive for Dlisted whores!!
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:09pm.
Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:01pm.
Hahahaha! Yay! Now I have a good excuse for my immature behavior. If I had some cake, I'd share wif you. I do have some vodka and cranberry juice!
======
Thanks. Still at work a 6:25 p.m.
************************************************
I never said that it was your fault. I said that I'm going to blame you.
************************************************
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 3:30pm.
Fuck. Why do hangovers have to involve headaches that feel like massive strokes?
~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever had one of those hangovers where it feels like when you wake up you slept too long on one side, and your brain feels as if it's stuck to the inside of your skull in one place?
Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:01pm.
Hahahaha! Yay! Now I have a good excuse for my immature behavior. If I had some cake, I'd share wif you. I do have some vodka and cranberry juice!
ΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦ
Boogie Monster
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 7:45pm.
*barfs*
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 7:44pm.
Happy dlisted Birthday!
Now, we can be go through the Terrible Twos.
************************************************
I never said that it was your fault. I said that I'm going to blame you.
************************************************
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 7:52pm.
Jazzfish! I laughed my ass off at those poor creatures.
===
Yeah. I was actually more disturbed that they were talking about eating him right in front of him. Seemed a bit awkward. Stupid, I know.
Jazzfish! I laughed my ass off at those poor creatures.
David Letterman's sensational sex scandal has triggered a $300 million divorce
war between the 62-year-old talk-show host and his outraged wife Regina, say sources close to the star.
The couple - who lived together for years before marrying March 19 - are fighting over everything from his extensive property holdings to custody of their son Harry, 6, according to insiders.
"It's become a ...real battle," revealed a Late Show insider.
"Regina is humiliated, and she wants to get even with David for his public admission he cheated on her repeatedly during their 23-year relationship."
--from the National Enquirer. Oh, and OUCH!
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
My kindergartener is telling me about her little school friend whose mother is mad because her father married the babysitter. It's really hard to keep a straight face.
Skip to 3:30 for the good parts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nmkj5gq1cQU&feature=channel
Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 7:36pm.
Happy Dlisted birthday, Momus. My two year was a few days ago, too.
ΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦΦ
Boogie Monster
Submitted by JustJack on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 7:37pm.
Happy Birfday Momus
========
Thankee.
************************************************
I never said that it was your fault. I said that I'm going to blame you.
************************************************
Happy Birfday Momus
I went to my profile page and notice that I've been dlisting for over two years.
Time sure flies when having a shitload of fun.
Thanks everyone for the funniest two years of my life.
************************************************
I never said that it was your fault. I said that I'm going to blame you.
************************************************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8E_zMLCRNg
*crickets*
A
My EYEZZZZZZZ!!! Is this guy out of his mind?
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 5:06pm.
Jazz - I didn't know if you were still here, so I asked the mod if it could be deleted.
=====
Ok, that's what it seemed.
I dont know where that stupid shit came from that a mans dick size is measured by his shoe size, so not true. I dated a guy with size 13 Timberlands, motherfucker, my clit is bigger than his hard dick.
almost done....
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Is this real life?