John Mayer Talks About Music, Health Care And Sodomy
Last night, NY Mag's Vulture did a quick interview with John Mayer which ended in him threatening to butt rape the editor. You know, being sodomized by a douchebag would probably be like getting a colonic, so if John Mayer goes through with his threat, he should charge for that shit. Colonics are expensive (so I've heard).
A John Mayer interview is like getting finger banged. Most of the time it's just annoying and awkward. But sometimes it make your nipples curl and your eyeballs tingle. I'm not sure which category this interview falls under. You be the judge:
What do you think about health care? Would you take the public option?
"Have you ever heard me play guitar? I'm really fucking good. You know what I'm bad at? Answering questions about public health care. This is not in my wheelhouse. Do you have any questions about music? I almost got a mad need to lighten up. You need to lighten up, because the questions you asked me were all trouble-making questions. If someone gave me the Nobel Peace Prize, and I didn't deserve it, I would just shut my mouth and enjoy the hell out of it."
Which I'm sure he's doing.
"What's he going to do, send it back? It's like I'm getting a wrongful bulge in my pants and everyone's thinking I've got a nine-inch cock. I'm not going to argue with them, I'm going to let them think I have a nine-inch cock."
How about a style question?
"Yes, this seems to be apropos. Do you get paid for this?"
I do it more for fun.
"You do this for fun? That's like me saying ... never mind."
What do you think about guys with seventies mustaches?
"I don't give a fuck about who wears their face what way. If I could grow a beard, I'd have some nutty things going on on my face."
You can't grow a beard?
"It's a pituitary thing. I know you're not that much of a moron."
These are questions my editor wanted me to ask. I'm trying to build my journalistic career here.
"You're not building a journalistic career. You're making yourself look like a moron and you're not a moron. Who's your editor?"
Jada.
"Jada is making you sound like a moron in front of people."
Why don't you tell me about your new album? You've been in the studio for a while.
"I have a record coming out November 17."
Any particular theme or inspiration behind this one that makes it different from previous albums?
"Look what we're doing right now! We're connecting right now! This is great! Yeah, it's going to be quite melodically bright, but the themes are all about heartbreak."
How is that different? Haven't you written a lot about heartbreak?
"I think most artists do, but this is really breaking into the theme of it as a concept."
Is there hope behind the heartbreak?
"The melody is the hope. The lyrics are the heartbreak, the melody is the hope. If you have the lyrics being the heartbreak and the music as the heartbreak, your editor made you ask stupid fucking questions! You're standing in front of me acting as if these questions are fair, but now we're talking about something real. So there was stuff I wanted to put on the record that just didn't fit the concept. So the next record will have that concept."
What concept?
"More political things, worldly things."
Such as?
"Nothing rhymed with public option."
You don't always have to rhyme, though.
"I'm going to forcefully sodomize your editor."
On that note, here's some pictures of possible butt rapist John Mayer leaving a salon after getting his mop cut.
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haha...ultimate douche
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
Douche nozzle!
I do believe he has asked the hairdresser for 'The Edward'.
You're my only friend
You don't even like me
I'm sick of politics too, and while I agree that the interview WAS stupid, John Mayer was not only unprofessional and nasty, but he really has NO room to bitch about the inanity of the questions asked because he's often attending political events and always seems to be endorsing sommething.
If he doesn't want his innterviews going "off topic" or with a social/political theme, then maybe he should've thought twice about politicizing with his buddies and shut the fuck up then.
If he chooses to keep his mouth shut about politics, I'm sure not complaining. It's just one less famewhore pushing an agenda and preaching half-hearted, self-serving sermons. Great.
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Now we are the crow which contemplated the silence...
Nothing original
This guy made out with Perez Hilton in front of his girl friend, Whatsherface Simpson. Enough said.
Isn't there an island somewhere we can send John???? We'll send Michael Lohan along for company.
No you're making yourself look like a moron John.
So irritating.
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
nice hair, dumb pants and purse.
stupid comments trying too hard to sound uber witty....gaaack
yet revealing inner tendencies with the sodomizing comment tho, yes?
UUUUGH and I used to think he was hot.
Must have had a concussion back then.
This guy is the biggest douchebag in the land of douchebaggery.
I can't think about John now without thinking about Michael Jackson.......
I believe someone had Michael killed for the Beatles licensing money, I heard it somewhere 'could be' 1 to 2
BILLION DOLLARS. The person behind this unspeakable act is NOT directly related to ANY of the Beatles, living or dead. But barely 3 months later & it's all boxed sets, guitar hero, etc etc
man this guy is the biggest douchebag...
Damnit he's disgusting as hell.
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
-anonymous
Submitted by dreadpiratecuervo on Wed, 10/14/2009 - 12:06pm.
What a dick. This douche calls the paps on himself & made out with that shit-covered MK-wannabe to get his picture taken & he's that rude to someone who's paying attention to him?
Famewhoring: you're doing it wrong.
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
Exactly. Perez vs John Mayer should do a battle royale douche bag tournament with Brody Jenner and that porn guy (can't be bothered to google his name)
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He is a good guitarist, but not great. You can find ten guys in every town in America who can play better. He just got lucky and hit it big.
He thinks he's smart as hell, too, but always picks women who aren't.
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"If it was true I'd just cop it sweet and think 'how embarrassing, I got caught sucking someone's dick.'"
haha i thought his answers were hyysterical
I thought it was impossible to hate Mayer more than I already do.
But he's once again proven me wrong.
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"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08
All I could glean from reading that interview was douchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebagdouchebag, John Mayer is a douchebag, douchebag douchebag.
Props to the reporter for getting the story. I can't say that he or she exposed anything new, other than that John Mayer can't grow a beard, but if he could, he would grow some kind of douchebaggy facial hair travesty. Quelle surprise!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
I didn't think I could hate this pretentious, egotistical,self important prick anymore than I already do. Guess I was wrong. This guy is one of the biggest douchebags of all time. God I would love to see someone slap that ugly smirk off his face. The guy might be all right to look at but his personality sucks the big one.
And don't get me started on his stupid, fucking mainstream, bullshit music. Argh I just hate his guts!
What a douchebasket. And what the hell is a "wrongful bulge"? That metaphor didn't make sense in any way, not that I'd expect anything John Mayer says to be sensible.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
so does that mean he made out with perez?.and does he or does he not have a nine incher? did he eventually tongue-kiss the interviewer after such a passionate interview?...I'm confused...
To be fair sodomy includes oral sex too..
just saying
She’s a very sensitive lady
She’s always at the breaking point
She’s always on her guard
She’s the fairest of them all
She loves her adderall
She’s kicking out the windows in your car
'The Felice Brothers'
this is my favorite part:
I do it more for fun.
"You do this for fun? That's like me saying ... never mind."
he was going to try to be witty or clever, but he couldn't think of anything, yet he still had enough arrogance left over to keep acting superior.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
i like how when his manhood was questioned he called someone stupid. insecure!
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
I cannot stand this loser! It amazes me how he manages to get girlfriends. Just reading what he said makes me want to murder him. Could someone take him out already! He isn't even funny and charming - its annoying. You aren't clever and funny so give up douchebag. Welcome to the Jon Gosselin and Spencer Pratt club. You are now the head douche dethroning Jon.
ha ha he dresses like a tard too
sent from my iPhone
he's gotta be kidding? way to make somebody feel uncomfortable and irrelevent! he's such an asswipe! he only made it to a-list cause of aniston. he takes advantage of weak minded women....aniston...simpson...i wonder if he's f'd blohan????
sent from my iPhone
TheBreakdown on Wed, 10/14/2009 - 2:18pm.
Could someone remind me of why he is even remotely relevant?
- Didn't he date Tomb Raider chick? Yea, that's it, he dated Tomb Raider chick.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
I can't stand this douche's sense of humor not to mention his music is the worst. i want everyone to know that his antics are total nerd's revenge and he was never best buds with cool ass James Blake in high school like he claims.
Can't stand him.
.....would i hit?
sure...why not? But he is not allowed to talk to me or look me in the idea.
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Is this real life?
Could someone remind me of why he is even remotely relevant?
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I don't get why nobody has called out the hotness of the interviewer. CLEARLY he doesn't give a shit about John Mayer OR the retarded things he has to say. The interviewer even gets bitchy by pretty much saying that he's only wasting his time talking to John Mayer because it's his job.
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http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
What a fucking prick.
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you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons
Nothing is as pure as my hatred for John Mayer. From his antics to his dochetastic interviews, he consistently disgusts me. I guess by commenting I'm giving him the time of day, something he does not deserve. Asshat.
Prostitution Whore! What a douchebag! He needs some alone time with Joe Guidice, Teresa's loverly househusband. That will put some hair on his chinny chin chin.
John Mayer can be a douche. No doubt about it BUT these questions were stupid. Very stupid. Incredibly stupid.
Why is this douche even being interviewed? FUCK! Stop giving him the time of day, you dumbasses! Maybe then he'll disappear! FUCKING DUH!
I wou;d very much like to sodomise him.
Just when we thought he could not be anymore of a DOUCHEBAG!
I really didn't think he could nauseate me anymore than he already has, but unfortunately, I WAS WRONG.
Unpleasant little asshole.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 10/14/2009 - 12:55pm.
He may have said "Nothing rhymed with public option." But, I think he failed to consider Jizz Mop Jen.
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Brill, Jazzy!!! LMFAO!!!!
I thought it was fucking hysterical.
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Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
*in best Spiccoli voice*
yew deck!
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I tell you this, no eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.... So KEEP FUCKIN THAT CHICKEN!
He may have said "Nothing rhymed with public option." But, I think he failed to consider Jizz Mop Jen.
I honestly don't know what's worse: John Mayer or the people who are willing to have sex with him or in any other way fuel his ego.
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http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
This dude is way too high. Whether it be on drugs or himself, he's wayyyyyy too high. Chill, John. Just chill. You are NOT the end all, be all. Just chill.
Wow, he really outdouched himself this time. My vagina feels fresh as a daisy after reading that.
His douchiness reigns supreme, but I did like this comment: ""Nothing rhymed with public option."
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"You can't trust a ho as soon as they start covering their body parts with that Ed Hardy fuckery."
What IS IT about this guy bugs the shit out of me? Oh, yeah. He's a pretentious dickwad.