Balloon Boy's Mom Comes Clean
Last weekend, Sheriff Obvious McDuh got on his little stage and tap-danced while singing about how the Balloon Boy incident was just a big hoax. Well, what the sheriff didn't tell us was that Balloon Boy's mom let the air out just two days after we all wasted our time watching that stupid ass balloon in the sky.
According to CNN, Mayumi Heene barfed the truth out to investigators and said they had planned the whole thing for two weeks. Mayumi confessed that they did it so that the media could slobber all over them and they could get their own reality show. The sad thing is that it kind of worked. This is why the media should be run by cats. Cats would have never cared enough to fall for this shit.
While half of Colorado was searching for Falcon Heene, Mayumi said they knew that he was hiding in the attic all along. Mayumi and her husband Richard told the kids to lie to the police and to the media to keep the charade going. The Gosselins needs to send Richard and Mayumi a bundle of balloons as a thank you gift for making them look like the greatest parents who ever parented.
Sheriff Obvious already said that the Heenes would most likely be charged with conspiracy, contributing to the delinquency of a minor and attempting to influence a public servant. Child Protective Services is also investigating the fuckery.
Richard Heene continues to deny that it was a hoax. The funny thing is that Richard and Mayumi have different lawyers. It sounds like Mayumi is ready to sell her husband out so that she doesn't have to simmer in a jail cell. Mayumi should at least give her husband a farewell care package of Prep H and a sewing kit. Richard's precious haircut is going to make him mighty popular in the clink.
And not only should cats run the media, but they should also raise Balloon Boy and his brothers.
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Those 2 crazies shouldn't even have kids. Who in their right mind names their kids Bradford, Ryo & Falcon? Those are the names that get you beaten up in school. The parents should go to jail!
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they should be have a lien on any money they make and take a % for the rest of their lives...if you want to figure in all the time that was wasted/lost at the denver airport it's got to be in the millions
Ha! So much for that "submissive Japanese girl" you married Richard, just taking orders and agreeing with whatever you say and looking at the floor and bowing as she backs out of the room...
This was HER opportunity to get the fuck away from him and she is taking it!
In other news, Falcon is a stoopit name for a kid.
Whatever they are, they need to compensate all the services that were called upon and a hefty fine added on top.
Icing would be jailtime.
They give me the willies. Mofos.
Good American Entertainment.
--
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N97HXJS7ayc
Sorry I don't think bipolar makes you do this. I think you'd have to be a sociopath or something.
haha to the person who said they hate the wife more, i hate her just as much. She is just as annoying, i saw the wife swap episode the other day on you tube. She is just as crazy.
Oh, I'm tardy to this party!
She burst his balloon, I see.
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Bottom-feeder.
Future of our country? SCREWED!
I'm tired and I'd like to have a rest.
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I said this before. People get arrested for calling 911 because their burger wasn't cooked right at McDonalds. These two involve all kinds of agencies and get a major airport shut down, plus endangering their kids, and they haven't been arrested. What is wrong with the fucking law enforcement?
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Moo!
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 10/24/2009 - 9:04am.
I just reported that stupid spammer. I encourage everyone to do the same. For the love of god.
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Just did. That huangzhixian84 is pissing me off. Like anybody is going to be stupid enough to go to their bogus website.
On topic: Both Mayumi and Richard planned this stunt and carried it out. They both should get tossed in the clink. The kids would be better off raised in an orphanage in Kabul.
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 10:45pm.
I hate to harp on shit, but this week has been real hard with these little girls showing up dead, one in the trash in Georgia and the other dead in the woods killed by another kid. I see that Cummings guy still pleading for his kid (we all know that teenage bride of his killed her) and it bothers me that these fucktards would make up something so stupid as a missing kid on a balloon.
FUCK YOU HEENES.
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ITA!!
But if they get a reality show, I hope it's FROM PRISON.
Submitted by Sexecution on Sat, 10/24/2009 - 4:46am.
Best
Post
Evah!
No one could have said it better! Kadooze!
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Moo!
I h8t myumi more than her dickhead husband.
I just reported that stupid spammer. I encourage everyone to do the same. For the love of god.
Heeney Heeney Heiney Ho.
Worst parents ever...after Dina Lohan.
What a shocker--it was fake all along. Duh, I mean even Stevie Wonder could see that. We all know Daddy Heene was the "brains" behind this and forced his wife/kids into it. I truly believe the man is bipolar with a touch of the crazies.
They were also on Scrag Swap.
stupid fuckers, they should just be thrown into Mt. Fuji or something.
let godzilla decide justce.
Lets talk about biology,
Make believe youre next to me,
Phonography, phonography,
Talk that sexy talk to me,
Better make sure that the line is clean,
Keep it confidential, you and me.
Phonography, phonography,
Dirty talking, call it phonography.
Her lawyer told her that not only would she probably lose custody of the kids at least for a while, but that she would also bear the cost of what is probably going to be a whopper lawsuit, from law enforcement, the small farmers whose crops were destroyed by the "rescue vehicles" costing what may end up to be millions of dollars, and the fact that they are both bad parents who used their child and the authorities and national media in a cheap ploy to get on television so they DON'T HAVE TO GET JOBS TO SUPPORT THEMSELVES.
Yes Richard, the evil reptilian government thwarted your dumb ass again. Lizards Rule! Eat shit and die Heene!
I predict she'll try a defense claiming to be abused and going along with him out of fear, and they will probably break up over this.
But they wanted lots of media attention! Be careful what you ask for.
Forget about the stinkfish.
Now, where are the nude photos of Dad?
they probably offered her a plea...no charges, no fine...grrrr if she turned mr.wizaed
She's going to pull her 'Asian flower' routine, but she was a full participant in all of this. I just hope they don't buy into it. BOTH of these people belong in jail.
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
I almost feel sorry for these people, but I think Child Protective Services should take the kids anyway. Both parents have obviously been enjoying too much helium from that balloon. Why does everyone want to be famous? Looking at the average Hollywood star fame & fortune don't necessarily make you happy. I thank the Lord every day for making me mediocre.
No one made her "act" like that for the 911 call. There probably are domestic violence issues between the two of them, but she may/probably does love the attention as much as her husband.
Fina frekinly, this is no surprise but I just wanted to hear it from the kinaving horse's mouth.
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@teamvaltrex:Oh, please, BatBoy is my homie. I'm going to Weekly World News.
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FINE! (Flouncing off.)
I'LL go to Charmin.
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 11:16pm.
@teamvaltrex:I'm still going with "what NOT to do with 50 square yards of mylar and a miswired brain".
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We really don't have to choose. I'll write my article for the National Enquirer; you do yours for The New Yorker....
An analogy for OUR respective brains!
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Oh, please, BatBoy is my homie. I'm going to Weekly World News.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
@teamvaltrex:I'm still going with "what NOT to do with 50 square yards of mylar and a miswired brain".
____________________________
We really don't have to choose. I'll write my article for the National Enquirer; you do yours for The New Yorker....
An analogy for OUR respective brains!
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 11:00pm.
Ha! Middle-aged white couples in x-mas sweaters drinking chardonnay makes me think of... *one finger.... draws finger horizontally across neck, tongue out*
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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 10:41pm.
I think this should be officially renamed the "Balloon Ploy" incident.
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I'm still going with "what NOT to do with 50 square yards of mylar and a miswired brain".
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
@provolone:@provolone:squats
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siddly dquat
Pig!
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Well, I barely passed Latin in high school, but I thought my general pigishness would save the day...FAIL! :)
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Methinks the real tragedy will occur halloween night.
Any guess on the percentage of winos, possums and balloon boys we'll see that night?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 10:54pm.
charades makes me think of middle-aged white couples in x-mas sweaters drinking chardonnay.
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@mytwocents:You're supposed to tell us how many words, but I'mma guess... Richard Heene on his first night in prison?
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Ha!
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
@provolone:squats
_________________________
siddly dquat
Pig!
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 10:47pm.
Oooh, are we doing charades??
You're supposed to tell us how many words, but I'mma guess... Richard Heene on his first night in prison?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
@Stan Hooper:
Heardat, Brotha.
♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 10:43pm.
squats.
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I hate to harp on shit, but this week has been real hard with these little girls showing up dead, one in the trash in Georgia and the other dead in the woods killed by another kid. I see that Cummings guy still pleading for his kid (we all know that teenage bride of his killed her) and it bothers me that these fucktards would make up something so stupid as a missing kid on a balloon.
FUCK YOU HEENES.
Sorry folks just got a little too postpartum shit going on.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn
Wilson in Juno.
The Eggo has popped from toaster eight weeks early, had my son Jayson Matthew on 8/27/2009
The bad thing about these sorry excuses for parents will be that they DO get a reality show.
What is up with rewarding of irresponsible behavior?
First Octomom, now these idiots.
@provolone:The cans you guys throw down a staircase make waaay different noises than mine
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I'm a HUGE fan of your can, Provolone...shimmy, wink, licking lips...:)
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
I think this should be officially renamed the "Balloon Ploy" incident.
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 10:36pm.
@teamvaltrex/little_rascal:Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 10:28pm.
@ Centaurious
......................
The names of two other sons are Bradford and Ryo.
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Nope, Parakeet and Titmouse.
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Penguin and Robin
The cans you guys throw down a staircase make waaay different noises than mine
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@teamvaltrex/little_rascal:Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 10:28pm.
@ Centaurious
......................
The names of two other sons are Bradford and Ryo.
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Nope, Parakeet and Titmouse.
____________________________________
Penguin and Robin
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."