Samantha Burke Is Already Putting Her Baby To Work
So your checking account is crying because its HONGRAY and you've got Jude Law's shiny new baby friend in your arms. What's a self-respecting gold digger to do? You do the math.
All you have to do is polish that baby and push her out on the ho stroll! And that's exactly what Samantha Burke is doing.
The Daily Mail reports that Samantha sold the first pictures her daughter Sophia to the highest bidder. Samantha's agent confirms that Hello! Magazine snatched up the pictures and interview for around $300,000. A source said that Samantha has kept her baby under lock and key so that paps wouldn't get any shots of her, "Samantha may have got pregnant by accident but she’s a smart businesswoman. The child has rarely left the house since her birth and when Samantha has had to take her out for some reason or the other, her face is carefully covered."
The first time Jude ever lays eyes on his new baby is probably when she's on the cover of Hello! Magazine since he hasn't gone down to Florida to visit her.
While my wallet fucking heart applauds Samantha for making that money, I have to say that she needs to think bigger. Magazine pictures are for amateurs. Everyone is doing that. Samantha needs to put baby Sophia out on tour! Sophia can sit on stage goo goo and ga ga-ing for two hours. Shit, it sounds more entertaining than watching Jude Law in Hamlet.
And yes, everything I know about parenting I learned from Joe Jackson.
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Bitch! I was suppose to be his gold digging wife!!!
I fucking love this dude!! He's so hot!!!
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ParisHilton: "Huge"
I see now why she took those sexy pictures of herself before she got too pregnant, home girl is eating nothing but ho hos and oreos these days and waiting for that check in the mail.
24? 24!!!!! She looks like she's 40!!
I feel very sorry for this child, despite all the money she will have. Imagine having these two for parents.
Law needs to keep his tubesnake in his pants or get snipped: his tadpoles are FIERCE.
Women should also take birthcontol and PROTECTION seriously: AIDS is on the rise again as well as STDs. Blows my mind that people still have unprotected sex.
Dr. Funk, why don't you do the sensible thing and advise your like thinking brethren to either date men or transwomen. If you have a preference for vagina a transwoman is your best bet. You'll NEVER get her pregnant.
Sorry if this has already been said. I haven't read all of the comments yet. But I've seen Dr. Funk's theories before and as a woman I resent them. Why put draconian laws on women's reproductive rights when men can solve this problem for themselves without involving women at all. Funk, you've got more options than you think! A vasectomy is ALWAYS a good way to go. Or why don't you take a page out of Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper's book and withold your precious bodily fluids from biological females. Just flat out deny them your essence. Or you could just stop fucking until you're ready to have kids.
That's one-hundred percent guaran-goddamned-teed to avoid your fears. I suspect you and your ilk like fucking too much to give it up altogether so homosexuality or a transwoman's probably is the best solution.
Submitted by DR.FUNK: "The law should read that women CANNOT collect child support if they breed out of wedlock."
As a woman, I'll gladly agree to that law IF:
Abortion is free, legal and safe. And birth control is taught starting in 6th grade. And birth control is free and available to everyone.
Deal?
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The purpose of existence is to maintain its purposelessness.
if you got it, pimp it
@
Submitted by starfishing on Mon, 10/26/2009 - 5:03am.
yea, cause the world needs WAY MORE LAWS concerning sex and marriage. DR. FUNK, you are sho funky!
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Exactly.My proposed law would simplify things & shrivel the convoluted family court system to almost nothing.It would also force women to be more responsible about the multiple options for BIRTH CONTROL available to them for the last 50-60 freakin' years.It is afterall women who actually have the babies.Glad we agree.
Her shape is most odd. Like DAMN woman, that is a pear figure if ever I have seen one. Her face annoys me.
Jude Law. He cant be bothered to even go SEE his child? This just deepens my dislike of him even more.
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The crack of dawn ain't safe around Jude Law.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgJ8l5KJeOI
Get it, Samantha!
Submitted by DR.FUNK on Mon, 10/26/2009 - 2:23am.
The law should read that women CANNOT collect child support if they breed out of wedlock.Such a law would be pro-family...pro-family planning...and would eliminate most of this lazy deceitful behavior.
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yea, cause the world needs WAY MORE LAWS concerning sex and marriage. DR. FUNK, you are sho funky!
Samantha deserves all the trash that comes in the garbage.
{ Paging @DR FUNKY_1950s -- In case u didn't notice, it takes NOT one, but TWO breeders to create those things }
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Jude Law, hrm...hasn't anybody seen him skulking his way out of "Sex Addicts Anonymous" meetings? I can't imagine any other explanation for his choice in sexy times.
What sad individuals to let themselves get carried away to the extent that babies are involved. If you gonna do the low and dirty then at least use some protection, you losers. Yet another kid that has a faulty start, with a gold digging mama and an oversexed daddy.
The law should read that women CANNOT collect child support if they breed out of wedlock.Such a law would be pro-family...pro-family planning...and would eliminate most of this lazy deceitful behavior.
My baby daddy crave for dinner.
manimal5:She should pimp her kid as Lady Goo-goo Ga-ga.
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LOL! Sponsored by Tuck's hemmorhoid pads....
@"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
THE FIRST SIN WAS INTERCOURSE.
Submitted by your ex on Sun, 10/25/2009 - 9:50pm.
fat whore who LOOKs like willy wonka, HER BABY MUST NOT TOUCH WATER i heard you will turn into anugly GREMLIN LOL!!!!! FUCK U FARRT
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HOLY SHIT OLOLOLOLOOL
Me no understand English.
ur cute asl"???
Thank you, lover.
mrs voorhees i wanna smack ur ass
My Grandson Joey is gonna be a Transformer for Halloween! Maybe he'll make the NAMBLA Top 10 Halloween Special!
fat whore who LOOKs like willy wonka, HER BABY MUST NOT TOUCH WATER i heard you will turn into anugly GREMLIN LOL!!!!! FUCK U FARRT
@ Plecostomus
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Pleco you naughty boy!!!!
I love every single one of your Georgina avatars, but my personal favorite was of Tila Tequila with big boobs and Georgina's face with grinning blond Scandinavian viking right behind her with his hands groping Tila Tequila. That was the best!
stupidstupidstupid
Ali Lohan had his stupid baby ?
stupidstupidstupid
She should pimp her kid as Lady Goo-goo Ga-ga.
YAY! *claps hands, licks window* :D
♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 10/25/2009 - 8:48pm.
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Done! 100 or Xmas, whichever comes first hee hee hee!
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Bottom-feeder.
@Plecto: How bout a comprimise? 100 or Xmas, whichever comes first...? :D
♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.
Both of these fugtards are just plain fugly as sin. That woman should keep her legs shut or fugtard should use a HUGE CONDOM!
A source said, "She's a smart businesswoman." Oh yeah, what business is she in? The screw Jude, have a baby, and whore her out for money business? Actually, what other skills does she have?
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 10/25/2009 - 8:32pm.
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Haha, I KNOW!! Funny you should bring that up because yesterday the hard drive where I kept all these avies went EMPTY, and I almost had a breakdown thinking "I can't go back and do them all over again!" Luckily my friend who works with computers retrieved the data and I guess I should be storing them online, on Flickr or something.
I think I'll wait till we have a hundred avies (shouldn't take too long now) before we officially unleash the glorious Georgina on an unsuspecting public.
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Bottom-feeder.
I can't believe how many people din't know who Gorgeous Georgina was! Or I can...see why it' safe to put up that gallery, Plecto?!? Just never mention where you got the face from;p = He's just Gorgeous Georgina. Name the celebs. It'll be impossible to search and what's the chance that THAT guy or any one of his friends is going to be searching celebrity galleries on the internet?! ZERO! Do it! Do it!
♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.
@little_rascal:Now she's gained a ton of weight and has a huge butt.
Poor Jude screwed up (literally).
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Well, I think he screwed down...:)
I agree that weight really ages a person. I think she looks 35 fat, so I'm thinking 30 thin.
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
LOL @ angel_i!!!
@ Tristram :Haha thanks!
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Bottom-feeder.
Hello Gentlemen!
Have you ever seen Jude Law in Breaking and Entering? Beautiful - just beautiful. So why does he waste his time with skank whores like this? I just don't understand. Maybe somebody at ukwealthymen.com can help me?
♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.
Submitted by Plecostomus on Sun, 10/25/2009 - 8:13pm.
hahaha. True. Do you know I never knew who your basic avie was until you explained it this weekend? I must have missed whatever day MK posted that one. And, like everyone else, I bow to your Photoshop skillz, of which I have none.
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Big Mouth Strikes Again (great old-timey live version)
Is he good in Hamlet????
<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>
I was like dooodooo and she walk like beep beep
Submitted by Tristram on Sun, 10/25/2009 - 8:11pm.
Wait, are you offering beautiful girls or UK wealthy men? Can't beautiful girls and wealthy men (UK and elsewhere) make their own connections without your intercession?
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Well, maybe Burke met Law through their intercession, Tristram. Although the "beautiful" and "wealthy" parts are highly doubtful.
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by linobcs on Sun, 10/25/2009 - 7:56pm.
Hello Gentlemen! Are you looking for beautiful girls? I know a hot and interesting place named ukwealthymen.com. You may take a look.
Wait, are you offering beautiful girls or UK wealthy men? Can't beautiful girls and wealthy men (UK and elsewhere) make their own connections without your intercession?
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."