Bai Ling's Cheetah-Cat Almost Ate Her Nipple

File this under: This is why you don't sleep nekkid with animals who can bite your parts off in the middle of the night (insert a million simultaneous side-eyes here).

About a year ago, one of Bai Ling's ex-boyfriends gave her a $30,000 cheetah-cat as a gift. Bai named the chee-pussy Quiji (pronounced chee-jee). According to crazy ass Bai, Quiji's dad is a cheetah and her mother is a regular ole' domestic cat. Yup, Quiji's mother was a hardcore slut, because she was getting from a damn cheetah.

Anyway, Bai tells PeoplePets that Quiji is her soulmate, because she believes she was a wild pussy in her past life, "In my previous life, I was a cheetah or leopard or some sort of really wild and dangerous animal in nature. But the thing is, Quiji is really the most affectionate, even compared to human beings."

But Quiji is a little too affectionate, because she tried to eat one of Bai's nipples during a make-out session in bed. Bai explained, "I sleep naked ... She was kissing me, and suddenly, she woke up. She saw my nipple, and oh my God, she went for it. If I wasn't fast, my nipple is gone. She thought it was a toy or something."

First of all, we really don't need to know about Bai playing with her pussay in bed. Second of all, THIS CRAZY should not be closing her eyes around a wild animal. This is how bitches lose fingers, faces and more! Bai has some serious nipples, so Quiji probably thought it was a jumbo Tendervittle. Bai could at least sleep with thimbles on her nipples and clitty. Bai does not want to have a "MY PUSSY BITE ME IN MY BAGINA" moment.

Posted by: Michael K

Submitted by Noelegy on Sun, 11/08/2009 - 1:07am.

I'm pretty sure that's a Savannah cat. They're a hybrid of a Serval and a domestic cat, and can cost in the five-digit range.

***************
Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull

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Submitted by easyaspie2 on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 2:13pm.

it is a Serval, Miss Low IQ does not realize that a cheetah cannot mate with a domestic feline. They have different genes and they cannot mate. Or may be she does know and made up that outrageous lie to look cool. It is a domestic cat she is holding that is bred to have the coloring of a cheetah. Nothing more, not wild at all.

Submitted by ghettoprincess on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:34pm.

I thought she said she was from outer space. She said something about when she looks in the sky she can see her mother's home planet. So in her past life she was a wild cat from Mars? I guess that's not too different from this life.

Submitted by paris herpes on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:31pm.

The cat does look like a Serval to me too actually. It is one pretty pussy, not Bai Ling at all though.

"Is lame fish related to Gay Fish at all, because that would answer many of life's greatest douche mysteries." - MK

Submitted by agirl on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:51am.

That video is hilarious - "his teeths are berry small", lol

As for Crazy Bai Ling and her cross-bred pussays, Napoleon Dynamite should investigate that shit.

Submitted by icecat on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:18am.

She is a moron. The cat looks like a Serval cat to me. I highly doubt they cost 30 grand. Der...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serval

Check out the link to th Serval :)

Icekitty
>*.*<

Submitted by cprincess on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:59am.

Hey -what amazing fur she has and if iher mother was a regular old domesticated cat-what a mega slut her momma was!

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by zomay on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:58am.

Tristram on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:19am.

Golden as in Golden Retriever? :D

Yes. You haven't met him. Pretty wild. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you have the other dog that was in your avi? In the snow? was that you? Maybe I am confused.

Anyways that dog was a cutie.

Submitted by CAINandABEL on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:55am.

she is so full of shit...first of all her ex got robbed...that is a Savannah cat that you can get from a reputable breeder for a lot less than $30k.
Second Cheetahs and domestic cats can't breed. The Savannah cat is a mix of Abisinian cats and African servals, which is essentially a wild spotted cat but much more smaller than a Cheetah. For the looks of it that poor kitty hates her crazy ass and was traumatized by her fugly nipples.

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Submitted by BigBadMac on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 7:38am.

I'd totally hit it - for the lulz, also crazies have a certain something going on.

---------------------------

"I can resist everything but temptation"

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Submitted by zinnia on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 4:54am.

Submitted by zinnia on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 4:20am.

"Submitted by PinkPostIt

Time is not her friend."

Word again ,she got granny nipples...

__________________________________________
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

Submitted by zinnia on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 4:15am.

"Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 8:47pm.

Bai is just wishful thinking that something would purposely put that three inch nip in its mouth."

Word. She's totally delusional.

_________________________________________
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

Submitted by zinnia on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 4:07am.

OMG I googled her toples, and this is a serious WARNING her nipples are D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G!!!!
Don't go through that experience. I cant STAND that kind of nipples . (Pun not intended...)

I don't get why this slut is famous or something alike.... Urk. Want to clean my eyes...
__________________________________________
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

Submitted by BobsBB on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 3:36am.

Unethical breeders have tried for years to get big cats to successfully impregnate domestic cats. It hasn't worked. I doubt Bai Ling got the miraculous first one. Possibly an ocelot or a lynx could cross with a cheetah, but even then it's not likely. Liger and tygons happen, but they have so many genetic strikes against them, I'd wager it'd be worse for any poor creature that was cross bred from a wild and domestic pairing.
_____________________________________________
There's the door, spaceman.

Submitted by get serious on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:41am.

She's a total whack job. Typical flighty oddball actress...

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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits

Submitted by xtinawasmynamefirst on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:23am.

sooooo, she gets a 30g cat, but has to shoplift batteries? k.

Submitted by Tristram on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:19am.

Submitted by zomay on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:06am.
Golden as in Golden Retriever? :D
That's not a wild animal.

Yes. You haven't met him. Pretty wild. :)

That was a cool link--thanks. The pound part was sad, huh?

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Bring on the Night

Submitted by zomay on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:10am.

I just popped in to pass along that website.

Night night.

xoxo

Submitted by zomay on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:06am.

Tristram,
Golden as in Golden Retriever? :D

That's not a wild animal.

Submitted by Tristram on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:02am.

Submitted by zomay on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:51am.
http://www.bigcatrescue.org/cats/wild/hybrids.htm

Inneresting. Man messin' with nature. But then my sweet Golden wouldn't exist if not for breeding....

-----------------
Bring on the Night

Submitted by zomay on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:51am.

http://www.bigcatrescue.org/cats/wild/hybrids.htm

Submitted by noseynose on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:42am.

cheetah+house cat=not scientifically possible!

Submitted by Whatever on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:08am.

Quit using the cat for attention.

Submitted by Noelegy on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:06am.

Beautiful kitty that looks stressed out. $30K would have helped a lot of shelter kitties.

***************
Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 11:41pm.

In communist China, pussy eat you.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 11:40pm.

I wonder if she knew how to act in a previous life, she sure can't in this one. That being said, I'd foul her like the sparkplugs in a 74 Pinto.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

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"Falcon? Balloons Girl? Is that you?"

"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."

Submitted by de Cosmos on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 10:55pm.

"Mah poosaaay is hangin' out..."

Submitted by Madam Pince on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 10:39pm.

That cat looks unhappy.

**************************************************

"You can't trust a ho as soon as they start covering their body parts with that Ed Hardy fuckery."

Submitted by shandiRW on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 10:24pm.

that's what'cha get! sleeping naked with a wild animal, lmao.

***********************************
"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho

"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK

Submitted by Zambonie on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 10:15pm.

Bai's on my Christmas wish list every year
Although I'd want to scrub the Micky Rourke off her first now

Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 10:05pm.

"In my previous life, I was a worthless, fame-whoring pussy and did some sorts of really wild and dangerous animals in porn."

"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."

Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 10:00pm.

Beautiful cat.
Why wasn't she arrested and/or stopped from bringing it?
I know Savannahs are illegal in some parts of the country, mainly urban areas, I have never seen a cat like this one.
Cheetahs have been known to be quite compatible with humans, it's rare and in the middle of Africa, so...

/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.

Submitted by No Words on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 9:59pm.

Aw, I love Bai Ling...the original Hot Slut of the Year! She is fully crazy.

Submitted by Bowchickawawa on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 9:58pm.

Being the kitty lover that I am, I have to say that is one stunning looking cat. Too bad she has a kook for a human.

Submitted by Lady_Jennalyn on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 9:54pm.

You can't cross a cheetah and a domestic cat. That thing is part serval (aka a savannah cat).

Either Bai Ling is even stupider than I thought and just started calling it half-cheetah for no real reason, or it was sold to her as half cheetah because they knew bitch was stupid. Most likely the latter.

Savannah cats do make good pets, but I'd rather stick to adopting plain ol' regular kitties from the Humane Society.

Submitted by PinkPostIt on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 9:47pm.

Time is not her friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Brother's 50 year old junkie GF looks younger than this skank.

Submitted by kittymuffin on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 9:43pm.

cute cheetah

GO YANKEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 9:36pm.

this dunb sucks so much ass.
the fucking shelters are full of good cats who need rescue becuase the owners lost thier home.\you want to do somewhor whi;e.get a cat fro, a shelter you dumb bitch.
-------------------------------------------------
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke

Submitted by sushi on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 9:32pm.

I always loved the well-placed "sleep naked" piece of the story. Yep, she sleeps naked wow, how sexy!!! Hilary Swank sleeps naked, wow how sexy!! And on and on. Who the fuck cares?

Submitted by Tristram on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 9:18pm.

It'd be classic if the ex-BF actually gave her a colorful stray and just told her it was a $30k cheetah.

Submitted by TITS on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 9:10pm.

I can't even walk outside my front door with my cat in my arms without him going all claw-y and berserk. I shudder to think how unhappy that cat is under lights, snapping cameras and flashes. A lot of show cats wouldn't be able to tolerate that either.

Where's that white tiger?

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
http://tinyurl.com/yfnaxor
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