Abigail Breslin Is Not Blind Or Deaf Enough To Play Helen Keller
That's what an advocacy group called The Alliance for Inclusion in the Arts screamed after they heard Abigail Breslin is going to play Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker on Broadway. They are shitting in the producers coffees, because they believe the role should go to an actress who is either blind or deaf. Where was this group when the damn PEPSI GIRL was cast as Helen Keller? That's when we really needed them.
The producer of the revival told The New York Times that they had to cast a big shiny name in the lead role in order to get investors to fork over cash for the $3 million production. He said that they might cast a deaf or blind actress as Abigail's understudy if she's "qualified." A rep for the advocacy group says that isn't enough. They think that an actress who can see and hear could never accurately portray Helen Keller.
This is the thing. Jakey G played a down-low peen lover in Brokeback Mountain and he..... Oh, um. Well, Jennifer Aniston has played a needy spinster with a hongray womb in all her movies and she.... Shit. Um, well, Tommy Girl played an egomaniacal vagina-hater in Magnolia and he... Oh, forget it. I stand corrected before being corrected. I'm with the advocacy group.
• 
I see where they're coming from, but seriously get real!!
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So they want a blind and deaf girl to play Helen Keller onstage in a Broadway revival. I realize there ain't nothing like the real thing, baby, but did they REALLY think this shit through before they started bitching?
-.-
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Is that the little girl from little miss sunshine?
~*~Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me~*
jt
fuck the advocacy group - who btw, happened to put me out of business because they felt that they were more qualified to help producers cast disabled people more than an actual disabled person (me) who has been an agent, manager AND casting director for over 25 years. these twats know NOTHING, but love the press, so of course they were gonna throw their two cents in.
first off, you'd never be able to find a blind actor who does deaf that well or a deaf actor that does blind that well, much less one that does both. second, the role of Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker is one of growth and discovery and requires a blank canvas. if you hire a disabled actor who is either blind or deaf, they're already coming into in from tainted perspective - mainly, their own. it wouldn't work. plus, the producer's right - they need a name to sell tickets and there's no disabled actor I know of working that's enough of a draw.
ergo, I'm with the producer on this.
Hollywood doesn't even cast fat people in fat roles anymore. They put anorexics in fat suits. Wake up! It's the 2000s.
Abigail Breslin is growing up to be such a talented, pretty girl. Why do these assholes have to pick on her?? It's like kicking a kitten.
Yes, Hollywood should hire diverse actors and be inclusive and blah, blah... but she earned the role. It's called ACTING, why does that necessitate the actress playing Keller be deaf and blind? It's not like the director turned down an equally talented, disabled girl over her.
ARGH! Fucking PC bleeding hearts piss me off.
**********
"All of us are lying in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars."-Oscar Wilde
Been there, done that re: disabled HK in The Miracle Worker; Patty Duke was nuts.
Tell 'em to go fuck themselves.
Well, that might be kind of difficult...
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Submitted by loozer on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:41pm.
How did Helen Keller burn her face?
She answered the iron.
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Q: How did she burn the other side?
A: They called back.
Wow look how pretty she's gotten!
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"I DON'T NEED ANYONE TELLIN' ME 'PLAY ON WORDS' I'M A MOTHERFUCKIN' LYRICAL WORDSMITH MOTHERFUCKIN' GENIUS"
Gimme a fucking break. It's called ACTING because ACTORS "ACT" like something other than themselves. People need to stop looking for shit to object to.
"WHO ORDERED THE HAMBURGER WITH AIDS?"
@Spastic Colon
Submitted by Spastic Colon on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:56pm.
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Why you gotta play the black card? Just kidding. I think most of us in here would support and understand the importance of the advocacy group. We just play at being heartless assholes. We get it out here so we don't have to as much in real life.
Excuse my ignorance, but is there such a thing as a working blind actor?
That's silly.
In passing, that last paragraph in MK's post... Pure heaven. I fucking love this bitch.
Don't get me started. I'm still upset that they used Tom Hanks in "Forrest Gump."
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Bring on the Night
Vanitas- No, not Jewish but I am willing to convert!
HEY I GOTTA GO. My lunch "minute is about up and I have to shit. I know, too much info.
Tell Stoney I am waiting for her to come see me in San Diego. I'll treat her good!
Maybe be on tomorrow for a few.
David Letterman - are you jewish?
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Girl Scouts - Maybe next time you'll buy the fucking cookies.
"Ain't got no distractions - can't hear no tumblers or bells - can't see no lights a flashin - plays by sense of smell......always gets a replay - never seen her fall....that deaf dumb and blind kid....SURE PLAYS A MEAN PINBALLLLL!!!!"
(Helen Keller hitches up skirt, gives thumb-ups to the crowd, and is carried away by accolytes....)
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
That made me lol
Submitted by Commenter85 on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 1:04pm.
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Girl Scouts - Maybe next time you'll buy the fucking cookies.
KD- I didn't dump her, she dumped me and kind of admitted to wantin g to see other dudes. It's cool, i get to work, she can air her snatch out and be a ho if she needs to. and I can hit on the dlisted "single ladies" I can put a ring on it.
OMG...you know when you do a search for something and google has related to at the bottom? Check out the related to helen keller jokes. Seems we really are going to hell:
Searches related to: helen keller jokes dead baby jokes black jokes chuck norris jokes mexican jokes jew jokes racist jokes funny jokes black people jokes
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Girl Scouts - Maybe next time you'll buy the fucking cookies.
Submitted by david Letterman... on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:58pm.
Suck- Nah, we are on good terms, but we are split up. She is staying at our place until I get back. I am a single guy in Cali! WHOOOOO HOOOOOOO!
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WELL OK! BUT HEARING THIS MAKES ME NERVOUS!!
LMAO at pinball wizard!!
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MOTHERFUCKER WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? KEEP IT COMING. 10/27/09, the great philosopher, Dr. suckandfuck
What did Helen Keller say to the shop clerk after knocking everything over?
"Just looking!"
How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? Rearrange the furniture.
Or did someone say that one already? I can't keep up.
Jeepster- Yeah I am lovin it here! Maybe I won't ever go back
Hellen Keller, isn't she that blind kid that played a mean pinball?
Dave- that sux that you split up because she stinks. Unless there is more to it than that. How long is your shipyard job? I heard the SanDiego zoo is cool, but I didn't have a chance to see it when I was there a few years ago. I liked the Aquarium of the Pacific, in Long Beach, but that is where I was staying, so it is a couple hours away from you.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They made her read the waffle iron. Oh the innocence of childhood and all of its terrible jokes..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm a black robot, motherfucker."
Didja hear that hores????? David Letterman is FREE!!!!
(getting on plane to Calif NOW, hitting eject button on Stoney's, ME's, Snowy's, and S&F's seats.....)
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
Lil Rascal- Hi ya! We are ovah! We "remain committed to be good friends and still love each other" (isn't that what celebs all say?).
She is stayin at our place until I get back. She is paying half the rent (I think) and she put money back into my acct so we are cool as cool as two people who were once engaged but now are'nt can be.
How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? Stuck doorknobs to the walls.
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Girl Scouts - Maybe next time you'll buy the fucking cookies.
So What is the Pepsi girl up to these days? Did she grow up to be really fug, like I imagine??
Submitted by david Letterman... on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:54pm.
Suck- Yeah, I am in Cali, doing work at a shipyard. Pretty cool work actually. I thought the job was in L.A but here I am.
No, she dug a hole under the fence and ran away. ************************************************************************************* "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!" Homer J. Simpson http://www.aquaescorts.com/
Michael K I love your last paragraph. But Tommy, Jennifer, Jake? The most glaring and obvious - in her last film Get Smart, International Supermodel Phoebe Price played an extra on the street! A passerby! A nobody! When we all know.... I'm with the advocacy group, too I guess.
Suck- Nah, we are on good terms, but we are split up. She is staying at our place until I get back. I am a single guy in Cali! WHOOOOO HOOOOOOO!
I am wanting to go to the zoo here! Not looking for a date or anything, just since I am here. Seaworld too.
*cpvering good eyr truinh to typt* LIL@
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MOTHERFUCKER WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? KEEP IT COMING. 10/27/09, the great philosopher, Dr. suckandfuck
@ David Letterman
...........................
What about Ms. Starkist?
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:50pm.
jack, I need to feel your face to see how you look like
*sticks finger in your good eye*
____________________
HAHAHAHA! Now jack is qualified to play this role!
≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈
Winter Lady
As a person in a chair who has performed stand up (yes, spare the jokes -- we all get it, it's ironic) and has attempted to land acting roles, I can relate to this advocacy group. Not only are there not enough mainstream roles with characters who just happen to have disabilities, but when roles are written, they are given to the able-bodied.
I've seen this board up in arms when someone appeared in "blackface". How is it any different than when there are perfectly capable actors with disabilities who could be cast and instead an able-bodied person simply pretends?
Plus, look at it another way: think of what Helen Keller represents to the blind/deaf community. Now imagine if producers announced that they were making a Martin Luther King, Jr. movie with Tom Hanks in the lead role because "he could sell tickets".
San Diego - Holy shit Dave!!!! I was just there 2 weeks ago - great town!!! (I was stuck mostly in the convention center though)
Dave - we are trashing the purest and most noble person EVA!!! HELEN KELLER!!!!!
welcome back!
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
Submitted by david Letterman... on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:54pm.
Suck- Yeah, I am in Cali, doing work at a shipyard. Pretty cool work actually. I thought the job was in L.A but here I am.
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Good! Glad to hear it!!! That ho didn't give you any more trouble did she?
but is she annoying enough?
Suck- Yeah, I am in Cali, doing work at a shipyard. Pretty cool work actually. I thought the job was in L.A but here I am.
GODNEY is busy twittering herself. And she might be texting too.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
I wish there was an open post! I don't have a lot of time to wait!
Where'as that trick GODNEY? I even went to the Shitney thread and she is M.I.A! Did Raul off her or something?
Why didn't they hire a deaf person to play Helen Keller? Because they don't listen well to directions.
Submitted by david Letterman... on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:45pm.
SUCKANDFUCK! RAUL!
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DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ARE YOU IN CA NOW? WHAT BECAME OF YOU?!?!
HEY Jack. Nothing much, eatin lunch and workin. How's everyone?
Submitted by david Letterman... on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 12:45pm.
SUCKANDFUCK! RAUL!
What up buddy!?************************************************************************************* "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!" Homer J. Simpson http://www.aquaescorts.com/