Friday, October 30th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By A Dancing Pumpkin Head
So now you finally know what my second job is. I'm a Fly Pumpkhead on The CW News in Omaha, Nebraska. I WISH. If I had moves like that I wouldn't be wasting my talents on the local news. I'd be punching and thrusting on the Santa Monica Promenade or in the NYC subways. For real.
And now we all finally found a Halloween costume that will give us a good reason to vogue AND karate kick at once. ALL THE SINGLE PUMPKINHEADS!
VIA Videogum
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it was funny and the guy stayed in time with the music
What' with the spammers? I leave you guys for 2 weeks & this happens? I should LaToya your asses!
Ok, the pumpkin head was fun to watch
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
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Sweet Babu:
It ıs not an uncommon practıce ın Europe, and I am new here so I do not know how Istanbul's system works.
But these bıtches better watch out cuz I am new here too, am only vısıtıng and no one can hear you scream ın the small back alleys!
MK taught me that!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 4:39am.
So as some of you sluts may recall...
_______________
Damn, I hope they don't think they can rip off the man in the kilt. Give Breakdown his dough or face the shank!
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"I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink
No,no,no.
I'm so tired I don't know what to do
I'm so tired my mind is set on you
I wonder should I call you but I know what you would do
You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got
for a little peace of mind
I'm so tired, I'm feeling so upset
Although I'm so tired I'll have another cigarette
And curse Sir Walter Raleigh
He was such a stupid git.
You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got
for a little peace of mind
I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind
I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind"
yeah...
-----------------------------
"Got up next morning and I grabbed that gun,
took a shot of cocaine and away I run,
made a good run but i run too slow,
they overtook me down in Juarez, Mexico."
So as some of you sluts may recall...
Last nıght I had two shows ın two dıfferent clubs so I lıterally left one stage (kılt,boots) ın costume and proceeded to the next and hopped on. One set there and then back to the fırst club for my second set and then back to the second club for the follow-up set.
At the end of the nıght I am waıtıng to be paıd from the second club and the promoter ıs lıke 'Come back tomorrow and we pay you after your show.'
Now thıs ıs not so uncommon ın Europe so I was lıke fıne.
But ıf I do not get paıd tonıght?
I am gonna act my color.
I have already prepared my shank!
As ıf I come all the way to foreıgn lands to perform for free?
Fucka, please!
***************************************
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
this guy totally stole my mom's act. this is fucking huh.lar.ry.us. I can't....
G'night TV
Submitted by Team Valtrex
My 1st trip to Vegas this year, I drank vodka from the moment I arrived
~~~~~~~~~
Sounds exactly like my trip to Jamaica, except with Rum!
When I go on vaca I expect to stay awake for 20 hours a day and sleep when I get home! If there isn't a 24 hr food court, I don't want to go there. Sandals is the BEST resort for UNLIMITED drinking & eating & beach fun. #1 bonus, NO tipping allowed. However, if you tip your bartender, room service, concierge the first day, they will be at your beck and call the entire time your there. Vegas. Not so much.
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 3:07am.
I don't even like drinking anymore, it's not worth the heartburn I get, but I have to keep my liver in fighting shape, just in case.
On that note, I'm soberly going to try to pass out, have a good night!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I usually prefer smoke over alcohol, but the border busts are making it hard on us. May have to buy some Miracle Grow and a few pots soon.
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 3:01am.
My 1st trip to Vegas this year, I drank vodka from the moment I arrived until I left, 3 days later. I slept for 2 hours per day, drank continuously the rest of the time. I never got drunk. I think I just get bored and go to sleep.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I drink too much becaue I have an iron stomach and it takes 10-12 oz of booze just to get me started. It's a friggin CURSE that I can drink most people "under the table", so to speak.
I drink ON THE WAY to a restaurant to SAVE MONEY!
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:50am.
I only drink too much to help me sleep or to make other people more interesting.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex 2:30am.
Sorry to learn that TV. My condolences.
I have a similar story in my family.
That's why I always try to treat people with kindness.
It's also probably why I drink too much.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:31am.
I'm going back in January for the 3rd time in a year, and each stay gets longer. Haven't seen your bracelet though.
_________________
I stayed at The Palms; partied at The Playboy Club and several others, including The Rio. If you find the bracelet I might pay you for it, but I suspect you’ll only find plastic beads and glitter…Good Luck!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:35am.
We can do both!!!!
************************
So nice of you to offer, but unless you have some kind of magic wand that can reverse time... i'll pass on the sharting, thanks.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!
MTZ, never underestimate the ingenuity of a woman, right? (I had to make sure I spelled that correctly!)
Most men would just let their NASTY non-nail show, but hell to the NO for a woman!!! That finger grossed me the fuck out for WEEKS, so hells yeah I kept that ugly bitch covered up. Rum helps, fer sure!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:30am.
Tttttvvvvvvvv... there's nothing I can say about that, other than I'm sorry. Do whatever you think you should. :(
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:32am.
We can do both!!!!
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:24am.
MTC, I was bummed about the loss of the finger nail before my 40th B-day trip to Vegas, but it was healed enough that I disguised it with a flesh-colored strip of bandaid, just wide enough to cover the nail.
Otherwise, the UNLIMITED BOOZE in Vegas was enough to enable me to completely forget about my missing nail...and the fact that I was turning 40!
............
Well done, petit! Bandaids are the most under-rated tool of the healthcare profession. It kept out infection AND stopped you from turning green evertime you saw it! Twofers! If they sold bandaids with a little bottle of rum, I'd never need to see a doctor again.
I'm turning thirty ten soon... akkk! I'll follow your lead and self medicate myself through that little trauma, too. I think I'd rather be sharted on than face that particular horror.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:29am.
TV~I thought I was over Vegas, but now I know I MUST GO BACK. Like a Vietnam Vet, I gotta go back and get what I left behind.
Namely, my thigh highs, a silver bracelet and a pair of friggin Playboy $20 panties that are worth about .99cents.
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I'm going back in January for the 3rd time in a year, and each stay gets longer. Haven't seen your bracelet though.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:23am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:09am.
Typical! Why are men so bad at admitting when they need medical attention! It's still attention, just with more needles and pain and... ok, I see your point now.
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Actually, bad medical care and drug interactions killed my mom, I'll leave my fate on wishful thinking and self-medication. Same end result, more vodka.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
TV~I thought I was over Vegas, but now I know I MUST GO BACK. Like a Vietnam Vet, I gotta go back and get what I left behind.
Namely, my thigh highs, a silver bracelet and a pair of friggin Playboy $20 panties that are worth about .99cents.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:18am.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:15am.
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:04am.
I like the part about how a missing fingernail didn't stop you from going to Vegas. Love a girl that get's her priorities straight.
*********************************************
A missing limb wouldn't keep me from going back to Vegas, I'll just get half a lapdance.
*******************
Or, you could hire one of them one legged strippers and pocket twice as much.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!
MTC, I was bummed about the loss of the finger nail before my 40th B-day trip to Vegas, but it was healed enough that I disguised it with a flesh-colored strip of bandaid, just wide enough to cover the nail.
Otherwise, the UNLIMITED BOOZE in Vegas was enough to enable me to completely forget about my missing nail...and the fact that I was turning 40!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:09am.
Typical! Why are men so bad at admitting when they need medical attention! It's still attention, just with more needles and pain and... ok, I see your point now.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:17am.
After all that confession time I need a bowl and a shot...which are thankfully right here on the table...
***********************************************
Some confession! I spray farted a nurse!!!
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:15am.
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:04am.
I like the part about how a missing fingernail didn't stop you from going to Vegas. Love a girl that get's her priorities straight.
*********************************************
A missing limb wouldn't keep me from going back to Vegas, I'll just get half a lapdance.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
After all that confession time I need a bowl and a shot...which are thankfully right here on the table...
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:04am.
I like the part about how a missing fingernail didn't stop you from going to Vegas. Love a girl that get's her priorities straight.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!
Submitted by Team Valtrex - 2:09am. No brain, no pain.
No shit! I was born with a friggin hernia and lived with it for 17 years! My surgery was supposed to take a half hour and it took over 2 hrs because I had that fucker for so long it had taken up residence and built a Condo in my lap!
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:09am.
Nite Centaurious. Hope all is well healed.
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And it taint a problem.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Nite Centaurious. Hope all is well healed.
Submitted by Shorty on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:04am.
I don't go to the doctor unless bones are sticking out or death is imminent. I walked on an ankle that was broken in 2 places for 2 days before finally being forced to go. No brain, no pain.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Centaurious "I was really scared."
OK, that was scary for you, FOR SURE!
I remember the day I had to go to the Doc to have my finger nail drained of blood because I was drunk two days before and slammed it in a door. The night before I went to the doc I went to WEB MD and looked up “smashed fingernails”. After watching the video I had a full-blow panic attack and had to wake up my husband to rescue me. I was hyperventilating and about to pass out from it! I lost that damned fingernail right before my trip to Vegas!
Happy All Hallows to you too, Centy! Thanks for the giggles!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!
Submitted by Centaurious on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 1:56am.
Well, I'm out.
The big reveal has completely drained me.
*********************************************
Thought you were already drained.
Nite!!!
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
@tristram:In your defense, it's hard to type lying on your stomach
_____________________________
I'm standing! Like Benjamin Franklin.
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Well, I'm out.
The big reveal has completely drained me.
Happy Halloween!
xxoo
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 1:42am.
Hey, I am a dumb fuck, so no offence taken. I'll get right onto that, as soon as I figure out how to use this google thing of which you speak... *pokes random buttons*
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!
Submitted by Centaurious on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 1:51am.
OMFG, I posted the horror TWICE?
In your defense, it's hard to type lying on your stomach.
-----------------
Bring on the Night
@tristram:*advising Free Credit Report guy*
____________________________
The doctor swore it wouldn't leave a scar! Please, please, don't do that to me...
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
TV, (I had the world's first and only penis reduction surgery, but I'm still a huge dick)
I’ve heard about that, and I refuse to pass any judgment…
OMFG, I posted the horror TWICE?
I REALLY gotta lay off the sauce!
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Submitted by Centaurious on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 1:42am.
Satisfied, you pack of jackals?!
........
Boo! I liked TV's story better! Kidding! (not really, TV's story was hella funny!)
No srsly, it could have been soo much worse. I'm glad you got that thing dealt with... before the growth got it's own reality tv series. No really, I really am sorry you had to have to go through that!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!
Shit! No...scratch that. Immediately!
OKAY.
This will be a letdown, but suffice to say, I had a giant abcess on my butt!
It only started two days ago, the infection was spreading like wildfire, it was all the way down my leg and I knew I had to get to ER asap...
The surgery was horribly painful...I was like an extra in "Deliverance," meanwhile, I'm sure there were car crash victims bearing up magnificently behind the other curtains...
I won't be able to sit for weeks!
I'm standing at the breakfast bar even as we speak.
Satisfied, you pack of goddamn jackals?! :)
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Submitted by Centaurious on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 1:42am.
I had one of those on the base of my spine years ago, I waited until I couldn't feel my legs before I got surgery. Afterwards, they inserted a drain and taped my butt cheeks closed with gauze. 3 days later, I go to have the drain removed, the nurse pulls off the tape and gauze, every fart I couldn't let out was released. My face is still red, but I'm sure hers is still brown.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"