Hailey Out, Rabbi Shmuley In

Jon Grosselin is no longer using Ed Hardy as his full-time spiritual advisor. Instead, Jon is listening to the mouth belonging to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (but you can call him Rabbi Famewhore). Unfortunately, Rabbi SB has not advised Jon to hide in Balloon Boy's attic and not come out until we tell him to. But Rabbi SB did tell Jon that he needs to drop his girlfriend Hailey Glassman off at the nearest potted plant and leave her the hell alone. According to Extra, Jon has listened to Rabbi SB and has quit Meth Brows.

Some "insider" (*cough*possumhead*cough*) said, "They're taking a break. Jon apparently decided he needed to spend some time on his own." Yeah, on his own in a ditch in Chernobyl.

This is kind of funny since Hailey was on TV the other day queefing about how Jon constantly throws "mantrums," but she can never leave his ass. Hailey should consider herself lucky since she just dodged a douche bullet. Now she can go back to doing anal with potted plants which sounds much more enjoyable than doing anything with Jon Gosselin.

Rabbi BS (on purpose typo) probably has bigger publicity whoring plans for Jon. Don't be surprised if Jon changes his name to Jedidiah and starts hanging around with Ashton Kutcher. Does Ed Hardy make Kabbalah bracelets? They will now.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Splits • The Gosselins

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Submitted by Heilige Bimbam on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:15pm.

Rabbi Boteach??? The same Rabbi who sold Michael Jackson's most intimate secrets which MJ confided in him, for half a million dollars as soon as MJ died? A priest who cannot keep secrets and will stab his best friend in the back for money? Please Jon, stay away from this Rabbi, you have enough problems as it is.

Submitted by Paige123 on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 2:03pm.

What about his kids??? It is to late to use " I need to find myself" that is something you do in your 20's. Not when you have 8 kids to support and a million dollar home.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 9:43am.

your dogs were much better looking than this cunt, you turd with legs.
what I wouldn't give to bitch slap im for what he did to those dogs.

-------------------------------------------------
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke

Submitted by Droppin Kids Of... on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 9:32am.

Hate him; hate her. Next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Droppin Kids Off in the Pool

R.I.P. my baby dog (avatar).

Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 8:39am.

Hailey still had some potted plant in her eye when she decided to put on this outfit.

"See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest."

☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺
Monster Mash

Submitted by A Dodo is Forever on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 8:32am.

Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 7:37pm.

@ angel_i
...................
I agree, Michael K hardly posts anything on Sat. and Sunday. I know he deserves a weekend, but still...

There's hardly any posts at all anymore. From 5-7 pages of posts a day to no Morning Wood and 1-2 pages of posts, 3 MAYBE on a really really good day. Post five usually happens at around 3PM EST. It's the Perez Hilton Effect.

Submitted by A Dodo is Forever on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 8:32am.

Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 7:37pm.

@ angel_i
...................
I agree, Michael K hardly posts anything on Sat. and Sunday. I know he deserves a weekend, but still...

Submitted by Pamela on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 8:30am.

Rabbi Shmuley had a tv show on vh1 for a hot second.

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You're my only friend
You don't even like me

Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 6:18am.

Oh Michael K, why do I get the uneasy feeling that there's always a teensy bit of the anti-Semite in you? Not that the Rabbi isn't high profile (wasn't he with Michael Jackson?)...but the Jedidiah business? I'm a 'lansman' and not even familiar with that name!

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 5:28am.

Submitted by Swallows on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 6:21am.
I'd rather hit possum head than either of these two . . .

careful... bestiality is a crime!

-----------------------------
"Your lips are moving,
I cannot hear.
Your voice is soothing,
But the words aren't clear."

Submitted by Swallows on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 5:21am.

I'd rather hit possum head than either of these two . . .

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 4:33am.

Why do all the sisters - or at least MK - seem obsessed with this truly fugly Ornamental queen?

Submitted by hayles_babes on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 4:21am.

Mantrums..that's hilarious

http://www.hayleycox.com

Submitted by cripbabe on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 1:35am.

geebus, for a young woman with a plastic surgeon for a daddy, that Hailey is one ugly J.A.P. she should at least have him fix her deviated-fucking septum.

Submitted by Steve-O on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 1:03am.

Oh for God's sakes.

Can we please return Meth Brows to her natural habitat?

I.e., a skeezer bar in Jacksonville, FL?

Submitted by putsomestankonit on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 12:56am.

So much for "soul mates".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm a black robot, motherfucker."

Submitted by shandiRW on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 12:32am.

douche! next.
***********************************
"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho

"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK

Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:25pm.

edit oops

Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:16pm.

Ole Possum Head must REALLY be puttin' the screws to this chick.

She's wrapped in a dead beaver.

"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."

Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:12pm.

@teamvaltrex:I'd like to try fucking the brains back into her.
______________________

I'd like to say it ain't brain surgery...but I gotta be honest.

"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:09pm.

Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:59pm.
Jons sleeves are too long and I'd get drunk with her.
********************************************

I'd like to try fucking the brains back into her.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 11:01pm.

I'm thinking Grabbi Smiley Botox lives in LA, not Pennsylvania.

Just a hunch.

"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."

Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 10:59pm.

Jons sleeves are too long and I'd get drunk with her.

Submitted by Shorty on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 10:56pm.

This is the result of the Writer's Strike a while back. Why pay pissy writers when you can pay pissy civilians?

Submitted by BobsBB on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 10:11pm.

Boteach is such a charlatan. He goes around trashing celebs but then cozies up to them. It's nice to see Christians don't have an exclusive license on religious hypocrisy.
_____________________________________________
There's the door, spaceman.

Submitted by peanutbutterNcrack on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:59pm.

LOL....either way, Jon wouldnt need to change his name to Jedidiah since Jonathan and John are both hebrew names

_____________________________________

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life- Brooke shields

Submitted by gnarlyone on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:51pm.

hailey's cute...I want her

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

Submitted by easyaspie2 on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:30pm.

Ya'll this is bullshit. He is pretending to be single so he can do some reality show about chasing tale. Methbrows has his teensy balls in her veiny hands. Her daddy is expecting Jon to marry her, how else did he get him to pay for that cool vacation to France?

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:21pm.

That Rabbi and Kate have a lot in common! They are milking Jon's jizz for fame! Jesus! Jon's jizz is already on that Rabbi's website!!!

=========
"Let's unleash the defense lawyers." Nancy Grace.

Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:05pm.

Submitted by TITS on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:48pm.

FFS, I are the ghost of Amy Winehouse's addiction! (shaddap!)

It came with a shitload of crack, heroin and an unknown assortment of unidentifiable powders. Partyceuticals are in, err, on me!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:57pm.

That being said, I'd still foul her like the sparkplugs in a 74 Pinto.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:56pm.

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:45pm.

Now I know what Sarah Jessica Parker would look like if she was female and had no equine DNA.

******

Haha, Methy is an SJP wannabe.. look, she even brought her own hay!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!

Submitted by TITS on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:48pm.

Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:45pm.

*looks closer*

sorry, clearly the cat is cocooning.

is that were tigers come from?

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
http://tinyurl.com/yfnaxor
.

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:45pm.

Now I know what Sarah Jessica Parker would look like if she was female and had no equine DNA.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:45pm.

Submitted by TITS on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:35pm.

*ffssttt, sscccrrr... scratch*

Is anyone else getting a Wildenstain (typo, stays) vibe from Meth Brows?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!

Submitted by tojo on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:43pm.

Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:28pm.
I'm devastated. I thought this was the romance of our generations. Like Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, but different...

____________________

lol @ "but different"...

================================================
the end...

Submitted by TITS on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:35pm.

Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 9:22pm.

whawaa the FOOK are you wearing?

is that a sheep/cat?

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
http://tinyurl.com/yfnaxor
.

Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:28pm.

I'm devastated. I thought this was the romance of our generations. Like Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, but different...

____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!

Submitted by EmmaG.Frost on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:22pm.

Michael k..you need to stop giving this turd, his cumdump ..and Possum head anymore headlines...they thrive on that mierda!
Emma Grace Frost

Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:22pm.

And in other 'Couldn't give a rat's arse' news...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Booo!

Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 8:15pm.

"Yeah, on his own in a ditch in Chernobyl."

HAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 7:59pm.

Is this proof of some balloon boy stunt that they never really broke up and the season finale of their jacked up show is "Daddy's coming home..." If so, BARF!

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by gia on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 7:55pm.

B..b..b..b..boring!!

Submitted by Sexecution on Fri, 10/30/2009 - 7:51pm.

I'm so conflicted, only one spot open on my Death Pool, which one to pick... Hailey the fame whore wannabe who finally got almost on a reality show by sucking off a mongoloid, but even better, her life is torn apart at such a young age, with zero chance of redemption and no future as even a contestant on the Amazing Race, no reality for you Hailey the wannabe!

Or John who's option will be picked up by TLC to 2013, meaning he has no job no money and contractually can't get his ugly mug on any show, not that any show wants him but he's delusional and thinks America has an interest in a neglectful, fat, hairy, short, dumpy, stupid, barely ever worked to support his kids kind of father who steals his children's living expenses THAT THEY EARNED and he was along for THEIR ride, all that sweet cash gone, young pussy he couldn't possibly ever have had without his kids, who he all but abandoned and stole from. No money, No honey, No future, endless child support and child psychiatrist bills.

Tough call which one to pick for the Death Pool. I'm going with Jon for the WIN!