How To Massage Your Dog
Remember the lady who taught us how to give our pussies a rub down? She has returned and this time she's brought a dog friend names Henry Wrinkler (!!!) with her. Yes, she's teaching us how to massage our dogs.
While watching this I started to take notes so that I can give my own dog a massage later on, but then I thought to myself, "Why in anal gland hell should I massage that ho?!" I mean, I already put food in his bowl every day. I even have to heat it up a little bit, because he likes it warm. AND I pick up his shit out in public while he secretly laughs at me. AND I'm even extra quiet in the morning while he's sleeping so I won't wake his lazy ass. AND now this lady is asking me to massage him?!
Where is the video that teaches dogs how to massage humans? I could use a massage. Better yet, if my dog learned how to massage people he could get licensed and then go out get himself a job. That way he could contribute to this household. Barking, burrowing and ass sniffing doesn't pay the bills (Ryan Gaycrest doesn't count).
And after all that ranting, you know I'll be massaging my dog's head tonight while singing him rhymey songs. A sucker IS me.
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I used to have a friend who's cat massaged him every mornning. He would get on his back and do that paw thing that cats do and walk up and down his back. Still can't teach my lazy ass cat to do it though.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 11:12pm.
Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 10:47pm.
peaches80,
I sing to my dogs all of the time throughout the day. Ahhhaha. I even play the guitar
, and sing silly lyrics to them. Too silly to repeat EVER. Even anonymously online.
***************************
O that ain't right! I think you should share your puppy songs! I never sang to my doggie cuz, for some messed up reason, he hated music. He just always looked so annoyed by the radio, singing, guitar, whatever. And any wind instrument gave him the totally uncontrollable urge to howl so he hated that even more Ha! Poor guy.
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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
angeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel !!!!
boo !
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox to angel try next time with dadee yankee mine likes it ! ruuuuuuuuuuuumba !
___________________________________________________
Nkwame Nkrumah
"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me."
http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org
Submitted by mcnightmare on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 8:58pm.
i love her theory of doggy musicology - 'sing "amasing grace" to your dog - they love it because of the octave range.'
my dog prefers intervals less than a minor seventh, thank you
*
no real surprise - cats like a heaping helping of dissonance.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
They do have a way of skipping off with our hearts. That is sweet you heat up his food a little! Precious!
ESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE ADORABUBBLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
4EVAH !
___________________________________________________
Nkwame Nkrumah
"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me."
http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org
i gotta take off... be good, folks... or be bad and be good at it!
OT: just for p80... FUZZZBALLS!!!
-----------------------------
"Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows"
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 11:08pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 11:05pm.
ESE, I have to say I have no idea what Snowy meant by that this morning, and I still don't have one now!
Huh? What happened??
Dogs love affection and give back 150%
Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 11:09pm.
@ Peaches
.......................
Speaking of sad animal stories.
Kokoskitten had a link today to an article. While the young woman kitten owner was out of the house, her boyfriend HUNG her kitten with a belt around it's neck and videotaped it. The kitten first moved and struggled, them became lifeless. The boyfriend threw the kitten under front porch thinking it was dead. The woman came home and couldn't find her kitten. Then she found the tape of the kitten hanging and that's how she found out. They got the kitten from under porch and the kitten was still alive!!!!!!
**************************
OMG THANK GOD THAT KITTEH IS ALIVE WHAT A FUCKEN SICKO , DAMN WHERE IS A MACHETE WHEN YOU NEED ONE !!!!!!!!!
i really hate this kind of psychos i mean people like this should go to jail for life becuz later they will do it to kids , old people , i swear there must be something sooooooooooo wrong with this tards that is just not possible to fix , word , i don't hate anyone or anything but this kind of violence is just i have no words ................. just sadness :(
but life has a way to prove you that good will prevail and that behbeh is alive !!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
___________________________________________________
Nkwame Nkrumah
"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me."
http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org
Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 10:47pm.
peaches80,
I sing to my dogs all of the time throughout the day. Ahhhaha. I even play the guitar
, and sing silly lyrics to them. Too silly to repeat EVER. Even anonymously online.
***************************
O that ain't right! I think you should share your puppy songs! I never sang to my doggie cuz, for some messed up reason, he hated music. He just always looked so annoyed by the radio, singing, guitar, whatever. And any wind instrument gave him the totally uncontrollable urge to howl so he hated that even more Ha! Poor guy.
♥ Threadkilla!
"[The informant] is the tit sandwich that visited Hank the other night. It's gonna be hard to listen to anything she has to say" ~ Bubba's thoughts, Lonely Street
@ Peaches
.......................
Speaking of sad animal stories.
Kokoskitten had a link today to an article. While the young woman kitten owner was out of the house, her boyfriend HUNG her kitten with a belt around it's neck and videotaped it. The kitten first moved and struggled, them became lifeless. The boyfriend threw the kitten under front porch thinking it was dead. The woman came home and couldn't find her kitten. Then she found the tape of the kitten hanging and that's how she found out. They got the kitten from under porch and the kitten was still alive!!!!!!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 11:05pm.
ESE, I have to say I have no idea what Snowy meant by that this morning, and I still don't have one now!
o.k.... i'll try to catch her and ask her later.. thanks, though!
OT: "everythingisterrible.com"... yeah, i like that!
-----------------------------
"Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows"
ESE, I have to say I have no idea what Snowy meant by that this morning, and I still don't have one now!
Caramel, it is such a beautiful song. One of my favs of all time.
**********************************************
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 11:00pm.
Peaches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where have you been???
Last week late at night you came, posted "HAHAHAHAHA NALGAS HAHAHAHAHA!!!" on every thread, and disappeared.
What was that about ? Were you high on something? I want some of that! :-)
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LOL!!!!!!
i know hahahahahahahahah ! i was a littleeeeeeeeeee bit drunk , but i am back so much to do last week !
how are you , i hope you are great !!!!
loooooooooooooove lil_ras !
___________________________________________________
Nkwame Nkrumah
"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me."
http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org
Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 10:54pm.
ESE,
Snowy would never call YOU a troll, never! No way! She was probably talking about someone else.
well, i would hope so!
OT: uuummm... nah... kitties!
-----------------------------
"Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows"
Peaches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where have you been???
Last week late at night you came, posted "HAHAHAHAHA NALGAS HAHAHAHAHA!!!" on every thread, and disappeared.
What was that about ? Were you high on something? I want some of that! :-)
parissucks~
I greet every dog too!
And I love your signature. When I got married we put together all the music, and right after "I now pronounce you..." we had Wouldn't It Be Nice. What a song!
Oh dear, my puppy just farted.
I gave her some roast chicken.....
Pheeeewww..... :-(
madam s
LOL i hear ya soooooooooo funny i just do it spontaneously i don't even recall when i started !
but i enjoy her dancing so much she is so funny and i also get heart broken when i hear sad stories about dogs i would adopt like crazy if i had a huge yard , i would have like 10 dogs if i could ( all fat , is my cross to bear !) and yes my meatballs sleep in mah bed !!!!
SMOOCHES TO LIL_ RASCAL AND HER TEACUP BUBBLE OF LUV !!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________
Nkwame Nkrumah
"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me."
http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 10:49pm.
"And No One Got Headbutted" thread
i don't know, maybe i'm being over sensitive
OT: no, really... kitties!!
-----------------------------
"Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows"
ESE,
Snowy would never call YOU a troll, never! No way! She was probably talking about someone else. There was some commenter from PerezHilton, and people were calling her a troll.
I am a huge animal person overall and we had mainly cats when I was a kid. I think there is a real personality difference between people and how they choose between Pack vs. Pride animals (side eye to ESE). I mean... I like cats, and would take them in if necessary and have loved them, but the cats I like are the ones most like dogs, to be honest. There is something about a pack that is warm and inclusive. And something about pride animals where you all live together but there is less responsibility and connection because cats can take care of themselves and are less dependent.
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
ESE!!!!!!!!!
I know you loooooooooooooooooooooove your fuzzballs SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE !
smooches to ESE
___________________________________________________
Nkwame Nkrumah
"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me."
http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org
ESE, what thread,, what time? I was not on very much today......and I don't recall offhand Snowy calling you a troll. I would imagine everyone would have jumped to your defense though- you are an old-timer and consistent poster- and well loved! :)
**********************************************
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
I haz kittehs, they sleep velcroed to me.
I sleep in Oragami mode.
But I would love a couple of doggeh fwends eventually. I really wanna Bernese, wittle BEARS!
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
I believe you madam s....I can't stand to see an abused or neglected animal.
My dog sleeps over at my friend's house on Tues and Fri nights, because he will hang out with her in the morning, while I have be at work very early. I make fucking playdates/arrangements for when I can't be with her! She's a lucky bitch- I'd love to be her.
**********************************************
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 10:42pm.
ESE! Didn't you just ask me one? *winks*
ask away, darlin!
uuummm... did Snowpiece call me a troll earlier today or am i reading it wrong?
OT: you're kidding, right?... kitties rule!LOL!
-----------------------------
"Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows"
peaches80,
I sing to my dogs all of the time throughout the day. Ahhhaha. I even play the guitar, and sing silly lyrics to them. Too silly to repeat EVER. Even anonymously online.
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
My puppy sleeps with me, tucked against my body. She always makes sure that some part of her body touches mine. She is a tiny 4 lbs creature with bulging eyes that follow my every move.
When I sit at my desk in front of my computer, she is on the floor with her head on top of my foot.
Submitted by peaches80 on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 10:42pm.
ESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
YOU NEED TO BE CONVERTED TO DOGEISM !!!!!
my fat cat will eat any dogs soul!.. heeheee!
hi, p80!
OT: no, seriously.. i like cats better
-----------------------------
"Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows"
parissucks,
Traveling in certain countries is BRUTAL. I just want to take home thousands of street dogs. Really.
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
ESE! Didn't you just ask me one? *winks*
ask away, darlin!
**********************************************
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
ESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
YOU NEED TO BE CONVERTED TO DOGEISM !!!!!
LOL!
KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDING !
___________________________________________________
Nkwame Nkrumah
"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me."
http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org
fuck i just realized that is my future like in 20 something years the hell , i already sing to my female dog , not amazing grace mind you but some dumb song from dadde yankee and i clap like an idiot just cuz she starts moving her whole hips like a samba dancer ( her tail is basically a bunny tail !) LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________
Nkwame Nkrumah
"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me."
http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 10:38pm.
hey! you're here.. can i ask you a question?
OT: puppies
-----------------------------
"Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows"
Caramel, I can't go near a shelter- I would burst into tears. I have such a hard time watching the Adopt-A-Pet they show on the news.....
My friends make fun of me, because I physically cannot walk by a dog without saying, "Hi puppy!".
**********************************************
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
madame s~
your stripey, tucked in pal sounds insanely cute!
I just gave my dog Toasty a massage.
Amateur...the fine officers at the VA Dept of Corrections are schooled in the technique of a good doggie rub down.
"Five face animal cruelty charges after one was filmed masturbating a dog."
"If you masturbate your K-9 unit, you'll have greater control over it."
Heeelarious...
http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local-beat/Corrections-Officers-Take-K...
Awww Caramel,
I agree! And my brother used to be a volunteer dog walker. One of my dogs is a shelter dog. I would adopt so many if I could.
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
meh, i like cats(don't you guys dare!LOL!)
-----------------------------
"Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows"
Love love LOVE all the doggie indulgences!
I am a volunteer dog walker at the local shelter, and after seeing dogs come in with intake cards that say "No time" or "Kids lost interest" it is gratifying to hear of all you sweeties who love your best friends to ribbons!
Massages all around!
Ahhaha parissucks,
I have one dog that likes to (mostly) sleep at the foot of the bed, and the other who needs to sleep with her head on a pillow next to me and with the covers pulled up to her shoulders, people-style. She's been wearing a striped shirt recently too which adds to the hilarity when I look over at her.
And I agree... those little faces! And the melty sincere eyes! They are so loving and wonderful. I hear you 200%.
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
Um, the dog got up and ran when she started singing; that's supposed to be a GOOD thing?
**********************************************
Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
My doggie is 15 lbs., sleeps under the covers at my feet......I love to pull her up and lay her head on the pillow next to me though. Her face just fucking kills me- she is my favorite face to look at in the entire world.
**********************************************
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Three dogs allow me to share their bed every night. They weigh a total of, at most, thirty pounds.
*******************************************************
"I haz not seen the dog. Dryerz been makin' barkin' sounds forever."
Submitted by DeeDee on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 9:22pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 9:13pm.
Awwwww! Doggie stories make me miss mah sweet Pepper. (I had to put her to sleep last Nov.)
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:(...Mine's 5 years gone and it still feels like yesterday. He took care of mah behbeh too:)
♥ Threadkilla!
"[The informant] is the tit sandwich that visited Hank the other night. It's gonna be hard to listen to anything she has to say" ~ Bubba's thoughts, Lonely Street
Why does everyone call me TITS? We're on totally opposite ends of this country!
♥ Threadkilla!
"[The informant] is the tit sandwich that visited Hank the other night. It's gonna be hard to listen to anything she has to say" ~ Bubba's thoughts, Lonely Street
Right you are AGAIN MK!!! I kick myself everytime I wake up with a sore back because my 45 lbs dog decided to put his full weight on my lower back and I didn't want to "disturb" him...and tiptoing around while getting ready for work so I don't wake up the little bastard!!
**********************************************
Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
My dogs don't like "Amazing Grace". They are agnostics.
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!