We’ve been saving this one for Thanksgiving time and you should know this story happened last year at a certain Celebrity’s Thanksgiving table. It’s no secret to the guests that came, but we still thought it was pretty interesting/strange and wanted to share it. Last year, this actress who has bragged about her cooking skills in the past, made a great Thanksgiving dinner for her friends and family. The dinner had a theme: Each guest was asked to bring a side dish laced with their favorite recreational drug of choice. The dinner was a hit, and full of crazy antics afterwards. Not Eva Longoria. (BuzzFoto)

Sandra Lee? Obviously! I'm just mad that she doesn't go on her show and teach us how to make tangy crackberries, Vicodin mash with meth gravy and Ecstasy pie.

Which up and coming Twilight actress lied about her background and said she lost her birth certificate so she would qualify for her part? She has told everyone she is adopted and Native/First Nations, but in reality has biological parents who raised her and is most definitely not Native/First Nations. (CDAN)

Well, when you Google "native american Twilight actress," the name Tinsel Korey pops up. So I'll guess her.

This is the fourth time this actress has had her breasts done. The first time was supposed to be a simple enlargement. After kids she had them done a second time. While many women have breasts that don’t match perfectly, hers were so lopsided that she had to wear an insert to even them out. The third time, the breasts were evenly sized, but looked rather cross-eyed if they weren’t taped into position. Now they’re perfect. But don’t expect her to disclose any of this any time soon. She’s had plenty of other plastic surgeries, and still denies, denies, denies she’s ever had any work done. (Blind Gossip)

Demi Moore, Nicole Kidman or Tommy Girl

Let's all celebrate Thanksgiving early by biting into Ric Flair's overcooked ham. And you can wash it all down by drinking up the curdled leche running down his thighs.

Somewhere in the world, Paula Deen is soaking in a tub full of melted butter thanking Cheesus that this was not the ham she was hit with.

Here's more pictures from The Fat Old Turkey Showdown which happened in Australia yesterday.

It's a good thing Miley Cyrus is still around, because how else are little girls going to learn that wearing pants is optional now that the Trannycat Dolls are about to get euthanized.

According to Page Six, Nicole Scherwhateverwhocares is hitting the "ignore" button whenever the other trannycats call. Basically, Nicole wants to be the new Beyonce and the other trannies get the message.

A source said, "It is war. They have broken up for good. None of the other girls are speaking to Nicole, who they believe took the limelight, then went off to do her own thing."

Maybe Nicole realized that she no longer wanted to make superficial bubble gum fart music for strippers and toddlers alike to shimmy to. Nicole wants to go back to making meaningful music with thought-provoking lyrics. You know, the kind of John Lennon-approved music she made with Eden's Crush:

And since 99.999999% of you stopped reading at "Miley Cyrus," I can admit that I actually bought this CD at Sam Goody in broad daylight.

Baby Smiley continued her mission of turning all of us into chola beauties by taking her Sharpie to Sandra Bullock's eyebrows on Lopez Tonight last night. Sandra agreed to the chola makeover, because she said she wanted to become "more Latin." I was waiting for my abuelita's chankla to hit her and George Lopez in the mouth after that was said.

When Sandra came out as "La Nalgona," an oldies song didn't play in my head and I didn't flinch like a hot razor was about to slice my cheek open. You know, Sandra's canvas just doesn't have what it takes to pull off the chola look. Sandra looked more like a deflated Michaela Romanini:

And if you can't look like a chola who can give a ten-week hickey in five seconds, then you might as well look like Michaela Romanini. So Sandra should keep up the makeover.

Below is a clip of Sandra's transformation from a plate of boiled watercress to the homegirl version of Michaela Romanini:

(Thanks to all who sent this in)

Courtney Love packed up her shopping cart and took her acts of crackery from the House of Twitter to her new home at Facebook. Courtney really hasn't missed one beat. Movieline posted a couple of Courtney's horrifically amazing rants about her ex-boyfriend Edward Norton and Brit Brit Spears.

First up is Ed Norton. According to Court, Ed's shit logs have curly moustaches and regularly tie innocent damsels in distress to train tracks. Just smile like this makes sense:

IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn’t have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor but hell purposfully refinance Kim Cobains Property i bought her cash outright, for the 12th time using a phony address due to some fuck up on some Bogus “ART FORM OF THE CH 13” R TODD used, leavng KIM COBAINS PROPERTY REPOS…SESED< “you have an hour to get your things” wtf did Kim Cobain do to YOU… so its best to never tell let alone kiss and trell i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k.

When is Rosetta Stone going to come out with a Courtney Love version, so that most of us can fully understand her crackisms?

If your eye holes aren't filled with barf, continue on to Court's claim that Daddy Spears child touched Our Ladies of Cheetos:

britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO.

Courtney's lawyers, The Offices of Crack and Pipe, aren't going to like this. Although, Court does have it on First had authority, SO she has no reason to be affraid.

And what does Frances Bean Cobain think of all of this?

There you go.

While Oprah was banging wish bones with Gayle King, and St. Angie supervised Maddox's crank calls to Obama, White Oprah was feeding the world with one scoop of microwaved vegetables at a time! And she did it from the middle of her heart. I would say from the "bottom," but I think that part is already occupied by piles of Adderrall and fake tan dust.

At a pre-Thanksgiving luncheon in Port Washington, NY yesterday, White Oprah and her family shoveled deconstructed Hungry Man meals onto the plates of needy people living with Autism. Afterwards they played a fun game of "Are You Smarter Than A Lohan?," and everyone came out a winner. Everyone except the Lohans.

Here's more of future Nobel Peace Prize winner White Oprah with Ali Lohan (who is obviously in the final stages of menopause), some post-op who just got hit in the head with an anvil and the always-lovable Nana Lohan.

When you've seen one music video with an orgy in a run down theater turned club, you've seen them all. And Glamberace's video for "For Your Entertainment" is no exception. Based on his skull-screwing, pussy-bumping, tongue-fucking performance at the AMAs, I figured he would go all out in the video. But I was a wrong.

Watching this was like a bad first date with a hot piece who makes a dried banana peel look like a regular Miss Congeniality. You know, the kind of date where you're sitting there, counting the minutes until the check comes, so you can take him to the back alley and shut his boring ass up by shoving your tongue in his mouth hole. But instead of getting some hot action at the end of the date, he sticks his hand out, shakes it and then gives you $5 for a $12 cab ride home. Time. Wasted.

So that's what this video is like. I sat here waiting and waiting for prostate blowing faggotry. Not a tingle. Not a stir. Not a nothing. He could've at least wrapped a string of anal beads around that snake. Something!

Introducing the 'Catherine the Great' dildo - The Hoople

Runners-up:

Turns out Miley's stalker was after Trace this whole time... - Tweetarded

Pissed off at Jimmy Johnson's four wins, Jeff Gordon flips his Mustang. - NoAnjl

via Crewcial

Nene Anegasaki, a character from the Nintendo DS simulated- dating game Love Plus.

Nene got some virgin nerd to marry her without a prenup and she didn't even have to lick on his wang or show him her pixelated pussy. Take that, Aniston!

This past Sunday in Japan (of course), game user (and virgin forever) Sal9000 married Nene Anegasaki in a real-life wedding ceremony officiated by a real-life priest in front of a real-life audience. Nene gave a short speech. And no, it wasn't weird at all when Sal9000 started giving fellatio to his Nintendo's stylus after the priest yelled, "Kiss the bride!" You should see what he does to he screen. Nintendo should come out with a DS vagina attachment just for Sal.

And even though Nene married the fool, she still gets to mess around with other dudes on Love Plus. Bitch got game...LITERALLY.

In other news, thousands of Twitards just proposed marriage to their Edward Cullen dolls.

via Boing Boing

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