Entertainment Tonight says that Janet Jackson and Colin Farrell had an "intimate" dinner together at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills last week. Colin and Janet were sitting side-by-side in a booth.

No, Janet was not using Colin's pubes to floss her teeth after their meal. No, Colin was not hitting Janet from the back while she was bent over the table. No, Janet was not dipping Colin's peen into blue cheese dressing and smothering it all over her lips. They were just having dinner. But obviously they must be swapping genital jelly, because celebwhores cannot have dinner together unless they are doing sex to each other. Factual.

And Colin's Polish girlfriend just had a baby! Colin should be at home burping babies, not running around town burping vaginas.

Birthday: March 15, 1933
Age: 76
Birth Name: Miguel de Mairena

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 22, 2009
Claim to Fame: Carmen is Spain's official tranny legend. Carmen is a TV star, a chanteuse and has also been known to get down in porn movies.

Where is she now? Carmen is either wrestling tarantulas in her backyard to glue onto her eyelids or she's injecting garden slugs into her lips.
Why is she HS of the Week? Because all of us secretly wish we will be plastic-faced tranny porn stars when we're 76 years-old. It's the truth.

Gawker took us back to 2006 by posting these pictures from someone's Facebook account of Katie Couric celebrating her new job as the anchor of the CBS Evening News by getting all messy on the dance floor. I've always known that Dan Rather could smash lights with his crotch thrusts, but who knew Katie Couric could pop that asshole like it's Groundhog Day!?

Katie is giving FACE, BOOTY, SPAKLE, FACE in all of these pictures. Homegirl definitely has the sweet nectar running through her veins. AND HOW!

I love how she's just backing her junk up to anything in her way. Make it rain dollars, Katie!

Hooray! Suri Cruise has graduated from the bottle. At lunch yesterday, Suri, being the elegant lady of the world that she is, sipped from a fancy wine glass. No need to place a call to CPS, because Suri wasn't drinking wine. Wine messes with her stomach and makes her all Kathie Lee Gifford-like. Suri was just sipping on a little gin with a splash of soda. It's all fine.

Here's more of Suri with her two slaves, Stepford Katie and Isabella, lunching and shopping in NYC yesterday afternoon.

ABC says they received over 1,500 calls from hos complaining about Glamberace getting a crotch full of man face during his performance on the AMAs last night. They would have gotten even more complaints, but ABC washed the faux beej away for the West Coast feed. They also edited JLo's mega ass becoming one with the floor. If I was on the West Coast, I'd send ABC hate mail for keeping me from the best parts of that caca fiesta.

Access Hollywood (via UsWeekly) asked Glamberace what he thought about ABC cutting the man-on-peen action out of his performance for the West Coast viewers. Glamberace cried "Discrimination!" He said, "You know honestly, if I offended some people... it's apples and oranges. I'm not an artist that does things for every single person. I believe in artistic freedom and expression, I believe in honoring the lyrics of a song, and those lyrics aren't really for everybody either. There's a big double standard, female pop artists have been doing things provocative like that for years, and the fact that I'm a male, and I'll be edited and discriminated against could be a problem. People are scared and it's really sad, I just wish people could open their minds up and enjoy things, it's all for a laugh, it's really not that big of a deal."

What does Glamberace expect? This is ABC we're talking about. ABC is a family network owned by Disney. And Disney is the upholder of all things moral. They have a pristine reputation they need to look after. I mean, just look at Miley Cyrus.... Oh, wait......

I take it all back. FUCK YOU, ABC! You fake blow job haters!

Would you motorboat? - Towleroad

And on the other side of the chichis coin.... - Lainey Gossip

Sofia Vergara's sausage strap had its work cut out for it - Hollywood Tuna

The Photoshop Awards: Clauda Schiffer, Helena Christensen and Eva Herzigova get nekkid - Egotastic!

Scrap The Photoshop Award above, because this right here deserves dozens of awards - I'm Not Obsessed

What in the Yummy Mummy hell? - Just Jared

In the words of Tommy Cooze: "Nicole girl, that dress is wearing YOU!" - Popsugar

Shakira looks hot (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

I REFUSE to believe this - Celebitchy

Kitson wants Lindsay Lohan's cookie - Hollywood Rag

This will singe your retinas - Holy Moly!

Oh, so THAT'S who Keenan Thompson reminds me of - Cityrag

News you can queef to: Eva Longwhoria only fucks on the weekend - ICYDK

The Howling is the latest classic to be sent to the butcher - SOW

Jermaine Jackson should let his clay head dry thoroughly before he leaves the house - Socialite Life

(Thanks Dan)

There was a full moon in Chicago last night courtesy of the Bears' wide receiver Devin Hester. Just because he's the wide receiver, doesn't mean any bitch can rip his pants off without asking. DAMN! Romance him a little first by flicking at his nipple or blowing him air kisses. You can't just go around pantsing people without getting an invitation first. Well, unless the pantser's name is Anderson Cooper and the panstee is yours truly. That is the only exception.

In other news, Gay Al Reynolds just announced that he's going to try out for the Chicago Bears next season.

After the jump, is a closer look at Devin's nalgas. Tild your head to the left to see it smiling at you! JUMP!

When pigs fly....they land on Paula Deen's face! Unfortunately, this video doesn't embed (UPDATE: clip above), so you'll have to click on over to watch Paula Deen get hit in the face with a rogue ham. This brings new meaning to the phrase, "Bitch got hit with the swine flu."

While tossing turkeys and hams at an event for the Hosea Feed the Hungry in Savannah, GA, one of the hams busted into Paula's face. Afterwards, Paula was able to laugh about the whole thing, but she was probably a little embarrassed that she didn't catch the ham with her mouth mid-air.

And after all those years of Paula Deen slathering hams with butter, one of them finally fought back for hams everywhere! HAM UPRISING! That ham better clean out its mailbox, because it's about to get a million thank you baskets and medals.

via CBS Atlanta
(Thanks Mark)

Lady CaCa is really trying hard to stay at the top of her tuck game! Homegirl is getting inventive and shit. At last night's AMAs, she tried out a new dick tucking prototype that looked like shorty chaps made out of Ace bandages. It still needs a few tweaks, but at least a tip or a nut didn't pop out. She's well on her way to becoming the greatest tucker who ever tucked.

While I was applauding Lady CaCa's acts of tuckery, Mimi was probably crying a million butterfly-shaped tears on her Hello Kitty body pillow. At first glance, it looks like Lady CaCa is wearing the skeleton of a sparkly alien unicorn!

And in case you missed it, here's Lady CaCa breaking bottles and dancing around like a special needs Velociraptor during her performance of Bad Romance/Speechless.