Thursday, November 12th 2009

Taylor Swift Won A Lot Of Awards Last Night

Last night's Country Music Awards crowned Taylor Swift as their new princess by giving her a bunch of awards including Entertainer of the Year. Taylor became the youngest youngin' to win the top prize. Unfortunately, Kanye West couldn't attend, but he was there in spirit. And by that I mean every single person who took the stage made a Kanye joke. It's the joke that will roam this earth long after we're all dead. Kanye obviously needs to come and snatch the spotlight off this joke for once and for all. See what I mean? It's an epidemic.

Because Kanye wasn't there to wet queef on Taylor's parade, Wynonna Judd decided to take the helm. When USA Today asked Wynonna what she thought about Taylor winning big, she answered, “You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon. Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once. It’s just too much of a good thing too soon. My thing is, being a home-school mom, I want kids to earn it, and I think some time ... ‘cause mom and I rode in a car for the first year of our career to visit radio stations. There was a making of the star, there was a rising up, and the fans went with us. Now it’s over coffee breaks, the success, almost. You have to play catch up ... It’s like the girl who wins an Oscar and she’s under 20. What do you do from here?

Point taken, Nonna. Wynonna is the spokesbutt for Alli, so that pretty much explains why she has a minor case of the grouches. If you needed to stick a wine cork in your asshole so it would stop leaking runny shit all the time, you would act the same way. Alli effs you up. Look at Nonna! The Alli-induced poo isn't content on just leaking out of her b-hole anymore. It's also starting to seep out of her pores.

While you take a moment to glance through these pictures of Taylor, Nonna and her absolutely breathtaking mother Naomi at last night's awards, I'm going to go and adjust the wine cork in my no-no.

Posted by: Michael K


Taylor is the youngest person ever to win the coveted award. Some of the other CMA Awards 2009 winners were a mix of new talent and standbys – Brad Paisley took home one, Best Male Vocalist, and shared another – Best Musical Event for his guitar duel with Keith Urban, "Start a Band." Swift quickly shed her opener status and shook up the music world with an incredible year that included the best-selling album, a concert tour that sold out almost immediately and, now, a historic night at the CMAs that included becoming the youngest winner of the association's highest honor. The ceremony was broadcast on Veterans Day, and though they weren't taking military loans for troop charities, the CMA Awards 2009 winners should feel good about themselves.

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Taylor Swift is the Britney Spears of country music (I know THAT'S been said before). Swift CAN NOT sing- she's ALL image and NO talent.

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I think she sucks as a singer, but I wouldn't go as far as to say she lacks talent. She writes her own songs, plays guitar. There's talent there. She just needs a vocal coach ASAP.

That said, if she sang and wrote music like that at 25, she would've stayed at some local coffee shop never to have ever landed a record deal. Her appeal is that she does all that at what, 17, when she first came out. The bar is lowered for youthful acts.

islandgirl's picture

I have to agree with Wynonna. And Taylor Swift wouldn't have gotten half of the recognition she has if it weren't for all the Kanye fuckery.

Which leads me to wonder: Why does Wynonna have the neck of a linebacker?

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You're not the only one who just smiled like a farting toddler~~ MK

muffynbear's picture

I refuse to believe that Wynonna is a biological female.

oldpossum's picture

I thought Taylor looked mildly retarded or like a ugly cavewoman. I still think that.
She can't sing for SHIT.

nuff said.

Shorty's picture

TS is a JOKE to country music and will go down in flames soon enough. Winning "Entertainer of the Year" at 20 pretty much destroys a career, just as winning an Oscar at 20 would destroy an actor’s career. If you've won the HIGHEST AWARD there is in your field, where is there to go???

Shorty's picture

HEY, STFU 'Taylor Swift Fan'; “Yay!!! Taylor finally gets her own post. She is the greatest!!! Go eat another bucket of fried chicken Wynonna, you washed up fat pig.”

Really, just SHUT THE FUCK UP “Taylor Swift Fan”. She is FAR from the greatest. You must be in your teens to think that she’s “the greatest". I suppose you only know Michael Jackson as the freak that he died as, not the GREAT musician he was from the 80’s into the 90’s. Taylor Swift is AWFUL ~ she is NOTHING but sexy body and fake blonde hair. MUSIC is not about looks. Go pluck your eyebrows now…and do 2 hours on the treadmill to stay 105 lbs, or God forbid someone call YOU a FAT PIG.

"Seriously, at her age, where is she supposed to go from here? Hollywood?"

Bad timing. She's appearing in "Valentine's Day", an ensemble romantic comedy with Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher (YIKES!), Carter Jenkins, Emma Roberts, Eric Dane, Hector Elizondo, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Joe Jonas (double YIKES!), Julia Roberts, Patrick Dempsey, Queen Latifah, Shirley McLaine, Taylor Lautner (triple YIKES!), and Topher Grace.

Guys, remember, Kanye West humiliated her on stage at the MTV VMA's this year. Let's not get too angry at her. I'm not a fan of her music, but Taylor Swift doesn't strike me as a raging ho-bag as Miley Cyrus. This is a girl I could have a nice conversation with. And at 5'10", you don't wanna fuck with an Amazon.

Taylor Swift Fan's picture

Yay!!! Taylor finally gets her own post. She is the greatest!!! Go eat another bucket of fried chicken Wynonna, you washed up fat pig.

Stay Awesome.

Shorty's picture

Someone mentioned Tanya Tucker. She's the first 'cross over' country star that I remember. In this video she reminds me of Andy Gibb!
"Delta Dawn" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3SfcANH-9A

Andy Gibb http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-xfFqWaK1s

Shorty's picture

Taylor Swift is the Britney Spears of country music (I know THAT'S been said before). Swift CAN NOT sing- she's ALL image and NO talent. I hope she winds up on a reality show about CMA winners who hit rock-bottom. Patsy Cline ("Crazy" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-wJNpWgss8)
is rolling in her grave knowing that Swift won Entertainer of the Year from the CMA. What a douchbag Swift is. Seriously, at her age, where is she supposed to go from here? Hollywood? Just what we want, a NO TALENT blonde bimbo trying to be an actress. She might as well try to get a job on Wall Street...

Bossy's picture

Wynonna may be jealous, like you all claim, but that doesn't take away from the fact that she's right.

moonmaid's picture

Wynonna needs to either fire her stylist or get herself one. That look is downright scary.

No, she's never been a real cute girl, but she could look 100 times better without the giant wig, scary fake tan and makeup and ugly 16 plus shop clothes.

That said, she has an amazing voice. Her mom is very odd.

Taylor just strikes me as very young. Country music likes those young stars, and they always seem to get really washed up looking very fast. Remember Tanya Tucker?

shandi's picture

Just watched the video that was posted of Taylor singing with Def Leppard. WTF??? Why did Def Leppard sing a song with her? Didn't they do a whole concert show together, too? I don't get it. Anyway, her singing was BAD. I think it's her image that is selling.

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

OMG, that was fucking painful. She's a horrible singer. I think she's talented because unlike the other pop tarts she writes her own music and plays guitar, but fuck. There is absolutely no way she could ever get a contract if she sang that badly at 26. Her rise to fame is because she appeals to the tween set.

It must just kill the country music stars to watch her up on stage accepting award after award. The only reason they are giving her all these awards is because her "country" songs are helping country music.

Hockey fan's picture

Wynonna needs to shut the fuck up. Just because she hasn't had a hit in years is no reason to go off on Taylor. Jealous much, maybe?
And as for earning it? The rumor around Nashville for YEARS has been that Naomi Judd (real name Diana Ciminella) would blow anything that moved to get herself and her daughter a record contract. Wynonna (real name Christina) followed along, apparently okay with the idea, as long as it got her famous. Naomi is famous for her revisionist history. Just as psycho is the other daughter, who in Hollywood used to be known as even a bigger whore than her mother...and that's saying something. I wonder what disease one of them will have next week to keep them in the headlines...hepatitis, obesity, depression...jsut wait...it'llhappen. Those three are the worst famewhores ever.

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Guess I'm just cranky today. And every day.

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Sassyfras on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 8:53pm.

Submitted by anony54321 on Thu, 11/12/2009
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That's pretty bad, y'all.
Don't no one care about their ears anymore?

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Sassyfras's picture

Submitted by anony54321 on Thu, 11/12/2009

to say she cant sing is not even quite accurate. it is WAY beyond she cant sing. i dont know words for how much she cant sing.

here, see for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPi5Nxttl98&feature=related

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That clip's good, but I think the video or her singing "Pour Some Sugar on Me" with Def Leppard at the CMT awards tops the cake...she was sooooooo bad. She shouldn't be allowed to butcher a classic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hMxJAfZpjk

How come Taylor Swift is on DListed? Uh-oh, she sucks?

Andraya's picture

I've read many times on magazines and online that some people claim Elvis is Wynonna's real dad. 'Nonna's fans say it's true because "she looks and sounds just like him". I think it's a riot that her fans would think that. She looks great here and looks like she lost a ton of weight, but it truly is sad that she always had to sing beside a mother that looked so much younger and prettier than her own daughter. I saw the Judds front row center in concert when I was in jr. high, they were really good and 'Nonna came up to me and gave me her guitar pick, she was really sweet. Her mom looked just like a ceramic doll in person.

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Few Words's picture

award looks like a crystal dildo by waterford

lovemyboy's picture

I also like Taylor. I like that fact she writes her own music (juvenile lyrics and all) but she can at least write her own stuff and play the guitar. From interviews I've seen she seems really polite and down to earth. I saw her in concert with Brad Paisley and I thought she was pretty good.

She's not my favorite by any means but I don't hate her.

lovemyboy's picture

I also like Taylor. I like that fact she writes her own music (juvenile lyrics and all) but she can at least write her own stuff and play the guitar. From interviews I've seen she seems really polite and down to earth. I saw her in concert with Brad Paisley and I thought she was pretty good.

She's not my favorite by any means but I don't hate her.

daisydaisy's picture

Damn, Winona is nasty looking. I always thought her and Naomi were sisters and she was the older one. Must suck big time to look older than her mother. What's even more disturbing is the fact that Ashley Judd is so cute and smart and Winona looks like a failed experiment. Oh, well..

vivienne's picture

Taylor is a sweet girl but all this 'she is soooooooooo talented BS' needs to stop. I saw this girl perform on the VMA's and she sucked. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought that she may have been shaken up from the Kanye situation. But, then I watched youtube videos of her performance and concluded: THIS GIRL CANNOT SING. Why is it that the top, number 1 singers in the world can't sing for shit? Why is singing no longer a requirement for SINGERS? Damn. It is getting so ridiculous. Plus, I don't see how in the hell her music is considered country. Please, this girl is bubble gum pop all the way. The same things ppl are saying on this board about how amazing taylor is, is the same BS Miley Cyrus fans throw out to defend her. Neither can sing. One just happen to be a slut, so she is the only one that gets called out for it.
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Deb's picture

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAW!!!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Hautie's picture

Keep in mind children that Wynonna and Naomi is a prime example of what happens when you visit Dr. Rey's office one too many times.

Geez, who told Wynonna choosing the Oompa Loompa shade of orange is flattering? Crap.

They both used to be marginally pretty girls. Now they both look like freak shows.

Plus I am still wondering why Wynonna purchased a violet color wig.

Supertramp's picture

Taylor Swift is so cute and talented. I hope she doesn't get polluted by fame.

Granny Frump's picture

Wynonna sure is ruddy.

moomarse's picture

Submitted by Fred Flintstone on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 3:46pm.
I can't help it but Wynonna still looks disturbingly ugly. I mean her mom is pretty hot, her sister is hot but she is fucking ugly. What the hell up with that? She should slap her dad if she knows who it is.

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I think his real name was Wynton Judd. Hey... it would explain a LOT!

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pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK

Wyfatta is just jealous! I love country music and i do like Taylor Swift. I do have to say when she plays live she doesnt come off very well, at least from what i've seen on tv. But anyway, she deserved entertainer of the year because thats just what she is! Her concerts sell out she puts on a great show, hence "entertainer". And its just entertainer of the YEAR, not the century. She just happened to be the best this past year! Jeez

chica robotica's picture

Submitted by Fred Flintstone on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 3:46pm.

I don't think she should be that ugly... it has to be combination of weight and styling.

Fred Flintstone's picture

I can't help it but Wynonna still looks disturbingly ugly. I mean her mom is pretty hot, her sister is hot but she is fucking ugly. What the hell up with that? She should slap her dad if she knows who it is.

rukiddingme's picture

I watched the opening of this show last night and Taylor was waaaaayyyy off key in her opening number.

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angel_i's picture

Submitted by cio_cio-san on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 2:52pm.
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I would tend to agree. For her age, she writes some pretty nice poetry, that one. And my daughter LOVES her. I would barely look at her myself but I know she's been pretty popular in the last two years.

I do think Kanye gave her a boost tho. She could have easily been ignored by a WHOLE BUNCH of people if it wasn't for Kanye's outburst.

And being so young and winning so many awards for what amounts to music that is just ok......well, I call that "prepping the virgin for sacrifice". She's not doing anything SO amazing - I see amazing kids like her all the time but their parents don't go work Nashville for two years to make sure they get seen.

♥ Threadkilla!
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AttentionWhore's picture

Naomi looks like one of those old creepy doll heads, whose eyes open and shut when you tip them D:

Cute girl, her music doesn't have a hint of country in it, they all sound the same basically. George Strait should have won entertainer of the year.

cio_cio-san's picture

anony54321

she's been writing professionally since she was 14. and i don't think it's fair to say that carrie is more talented because she has a stronger voice, i can't stand when "musicians/singers" don't write their own music and get credit for being so talented. You were born with your voice, you weren't born with writing and composing skills.

Yeah she sings about teen love and shit, but that's what she knows. if she sang about anything else, people would say shit about her for singing about something she doesn't know about.

also, it wasn't kanye that made her famous, she had the best selling album of 2008.. meaning she sold more albums than any artist in the world last year. yeah, the kanye stuff made her well known to people who hadn't heard of her.. but she was pretty famous before that.

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Centaurious's picture

Faith Hill and Carrie Underwood, deja vu...

These old bags need to pack it in.

_____________________________
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Green Is Good's picture

Was Wynnona Judd always a dude?

CholaMom's picture

Okay, is it just me or does that award look like the world's biggest butt plug? Subtle commentary on the true meaning of the CMAs perhaps?

Condi the ingrown toenail's picture

I hate country music too, but I admire Swift, especially after her "monologue song" on SNL last week. She's a clever girl, and she obviously has her eyes on something far beyond being a country princess.

I think Wynnona is indulging in a little sour grapes, even though she and the Dixie Chicks are two country acts I can actually stand. Lighten up, Wy! You had your run - now it's Taylor's turn. So she doesn't have your great voice - tastes are different now, and little girls with thin whiny voices are what's popular in music today, even in country. At least Taylor is 20 times more interesting than the ever-dull (but great-voiced) Carrie Underwood.

Meeshie's picture

Coloring your hair purple (Naomi) doesn't look natural especially when you are as bald as Michael Bolton. Wynonna just looks disgusting. She may have lost weight but she is still ugly as a bucket of shit.

putas's picture

y elegantlady on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:26pm.

Agree 100%.Thanks Kanye - he ensured she will be around for a long time. Poor Taylor!
So sick of her already.

putas's picture

Ratface.

And I hate country music. Vomits.