Sunday, November 22nd 2009

DUH Of DUHS: New Moon Is The #1 Movie At The Box Office

New Moon made a little over $140 million this weekend, giving it the third-biggest opening weekend of all-time behind The Dark Knight ($158.3 million) and Spider-Man 3 ($151.1 million).

On Friday, New Moon also set the record for the biggest single day opening with $72.7 million. AND it holds ANOTHER record for most advance ticket sales.

My guess is that the massive amounts of extra-chunky panty pudding that were produced while watching this mess also broke records. Seriously IN THIS ECONOMY, Swiss Miss should've been on hand to scoop up the millions of gallons of crotch custard off theater floors. They would've been set for the next 10 years.

Unfortunately, my ass didn't get to see New Moon yet, because movie theaters still don't sell pot brownies, absinthe slushies or peyote-laced popcorn at their concession stands.

Here's the rest of the weekend box office. One of the big surprises is that people actually went to go see Sandra Bullock's busted ass Kathie Lee Gifford wig in The Blind Side.

1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon - $140.7 million
2. The Blind Side - $34.5 million
3. 2012 - $26.5 million
4. Planet 51 - $12.6 million
5. A Christmas Carol - $12.2 million
6. Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" - $11 million
7. The Men Who Stare at Goats - $2.7 million
8. Couples Retreat - $1.9 million
9. The Fourth Kind - $1.7 million
10. Law Abiding Citizen - $1.6 million

Source: Box Office Mojo

Posted by: Michael K


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Jaselle_S's picture

Millions of movie goers across the country have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of New Moon the next movie in the Twilight series. Everyone is really into this whole vampire thing New Moon comes out Nov. 20th, and there are already New Moon reviews out. The consensus among critics is that the film – you’ll have to pardon the pun – really BITES. (How am I not supposed to make that joke?) Rotten Tomatoes along some of the really big reviewers have decided that the novelty has worn off, and are giving the film a hiding. If you got payday loans for camping gear to wait days for tickets, it might have been a waste.

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Emmatrude's picture

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Supertramp's picture

And to think that there are people out there willing to pay good money to see Men Stare At Goats. That to me is shocking.

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TheBreakdown's picture

The ONLY movie in the top 10 I really want to see is 'Precious'.

And MAYBE '2012' if they come up with some pot brownies at the concession stand!

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freshfacestripper's picture

the movie was SO BAD! omg...

Vermithrax's picture

Tweeners are out of control.

sonne's picture

Definitely better than Twilight and in the copy I saw (refuse to give them money for twaddle), the audience was laughing which actually made it kinda fun. No screaming but people were appreciating the eye candy and that was fun, lol. Don't think this audience took it too seriously. :)

Cyclone's picture

I saw New Moon movie this morning. It was a big step up from Twilight. Of course it is not Oscar shot but it was enjoyable. I was happy no girls screamed like crazy when the boys was half naked!

Leon L's picture

There's no doubt that New Moon hit the top of the box office list. I think this movie would be next to Harry Potter movies, I think so. This month's movies are truly box office breaking, I’m thinking if Brothers movie would earn money on December the same as new moon earnings. Spoiler alert – the Brothers movie is a remake. But, I'm not wasting any small money loans on the Brothers movie – I'd rather see something original. Yeah, yeah, I know, it has Tobey Maguire, Jake Gyllenhall and Natalie Portman in it, and it looked interesting until I heard it was a remake. Granted, yes, the Brothers movie looks interesting, but come on – how many remakes can they cram down our throats before we say enough? The original was released in 2006, it was Dutch, and the war veteran that returns went to Afghanistan instead of Iraq. Not to mention that so far, Iraq war films haven't been enormous successes at the box office.

MarkyMark7's picture

Who the hell IS it that's thronging in to see Sandra Bullock movies?? Didn't they figure it out after "The Proposal"?

Frost's picture

It's out of control. I went to Blockbuster yesterday and we can't get more copies of decent movies, but we need two dozen DVDs dedicated to mooning over the dirty fuck that plays the main character in this debacle. The "stories" themselves are chock full of Mormon mythos and aging housewife desperation.

Only thing I can agree with is the werewolf kid being tasty.

-------------------------------------------------
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?

jackfreeman039's picture

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Soy's picture

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Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Mon, 06/15/2009
It's like trying to put Herpes in its place, when you're syphilis.

deez's picture

I've got almost 10 years on Taylor Lautner but GODDAMN that kid is all kinds of hot.

I saw the film on the weekend. Thought it was great (and better than the first) however I hated the ending and felt there was something 'missing' from the film. Can't put my finger on it.

In the cinema I was in I had someone woof-whistle and EVERYONE had some sort of out-aloud reaction. It was pretty funny.

Worth seeing.
The only problem with Twilight is the author of the books is a mormon, and therefore has excluded everything vamps are usually known for - sex and violence. Great for kids and teens, bad for us adults.

Go see it.
Team Jaward.

TITS's picture

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Im a Princess's picture

hey, don't hate. $140 million is nothing to laugh at. Means a hell of a lot of people saw it, and liked it. No...it's not some Oscar winner but no one really expects them to me. They are fun!
The books put you in another world...atleast for a little while. So everyone knows the movies could never be as good...but if you love a book and they make it a movie, you want to see it. Esp if it's a book(s)you love.
And hey, I am not some teeny bopper...I'm 33 and yeah, I like the series and am not ashamed to say it. New Moon was not the best movie ever, but far better than Twilight and because of the money this one is making...Eclipse should be even better.

Clarisse's picture

Oh yeah! I was hoping for Christmas spamcake! There goes the site for the next hour...TTFN!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

Supreme Soviet's picture

(shaking arthritic Gen-X fist at youngsters)

Damn whippersnappers! You and your fancy bloodsuckers!

I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception- Groucho Marx

Sensimina's picture

Submitted by louise_brooks on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 6:51pm.

Yeah, the movie was totally campy. The first movie was even more ridiculous because the director went WAY the fuck over the top with trying to give it a
"realistic high school" vibe. I actually saw Twilight without knowing WTF the big deal was - the preview suckered me into thinking it was a real vampire flick. I actually think the first one was an embarrassing travesty because of the director's ridiculousness. Both movies are laughable, but New Moon was more enjoyable. It's not something I'd recommend seeing unless you're into laughing at shit that isn't supposed to be funny. As for everyone acting all superior like "EW who would see THAT?"....don't knock it so hard. Watching the audience's reaction to shit was reason enough to go.

MissJane-

Yeah, I just about poured myself a glass of iced tea and sat down to tell Chris Hansen why I'm such a sicko. Werewolf boy looked good. Rpatz looked gross though, weird since he used to give me the crotch tingles.

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Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

wait a goddamn second!... i'm missing "The Simpsons".... gotta go, folks!

OT: i told ya, i'm missing my cartoons... what do you want from me?!

-----------------------------
"Extra! Extra!
Read all about it.
Pinball Wizard in a miracle cure!
Extra Extra read all about it
EXTRA!"

Sugaroo's picture

Clarisse, bad bunneh! But soo silly.

Leeches are home and want dins. Have a great night, everybody!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.

Centaurious's picture

ESE, i've always loved Ziggy!
_____________________

Opus girl myself, here!

In more ways than one...

OT: You're wack!

_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by Clarisse on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 7:15pm.
ESE,
You know I love you more than my luggage!

as long as you claim me off the conveyor... we're good!

OT: uuuummmm... lemme think on it

-----------------------------
"Extra! Extra!
Read all about it.
Pinball Wizard in a miracle cure!
Extra Extra read all about it
EXTRA!"

Clarisse's picture

Sugar!
GOT IT!!! BAD TO THE BONE!!!

ESE,
You know I love you more than my luggage!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

Centaurious's picture

Hey tojo, or break a toof...
______________________

Well, considering his hygiene, I give him another year till he's forced to consider dentures.

Who could possibly manufacture fanged dentures?

Kirsten Dunst?
_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

Jill-The-Ripper's picture

I was more into Anne Rice's vampires.
My daughter wanted me to take her to see this shit but I was too embarrassed.
(she's 21, she'll get over it)

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by Clarisse on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 7:11pm.
ESE,
Jealousy? I keed!

HEY!... i'm already gettin' my ass kicked by Centy... pick on somebody else!LOL!

-----------------------------
"Extra! Extra!
Read all about it.
Pinball Wizard in a miracle cure!
Extra Extra read all about it
EXTRA!"

little_rascal's picture

@ David Letterman

Would you like some TURNIP pate, dear?
*plays with her blond hair*

tojo's picture

Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 6:23pm.
If RPatz attempted to fang those 3 lardasses in the neck, it'd take him about a week to draw blood.

_______________________________
or break a toof...

================================================
the end...

Clarisse's picture

ESE,
Jealousy? I keed!

Sugar,
Aw, Cleve ain't that bad...unless you like football.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 7:08pm.
ESE, Hmmm...I just noticed you're enamored of the lower case.

i've always loved Ziggy!

-----------------------------
"Extra! Extra!
Read all about it.
Pinball Wizard in a miracle cure!
Extra Extra read all about it
EXTRA!"

Sugaroo's picture

Clarisse! I wish I could but I believe I'm allergic to Cleveland. LOL!

I like their Christmas music. I am a total Yule geek. I go crazy at Christmas.

Did you get the other bun I sent?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 7:03pm.
ESE, depends,
_______________________

TMI, ESE. TMI.
------------------

*bows*... *tips hat*... you win, you win!LOL!

OT: why do i wanna kick this Robert Pattinson guy in the teeth?

-----------------------------
"Extra! Extra!
Read all about it.
Pinball Wizard in a miracle cure!
Extra Extra read all about it
EXTRA!"

Centaurious's picture

ESE, Hmmm...I just noticed you're enamored of the lower case.

ese cummings!
________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

david Letterman- Staff fucker's picture

Stupid fucking movie.

Stupid fucking dude in the movie.

EatYourVeggies's picture

This shit is tragic. People have officially lost their GD minds.

Centaurious's picture

ESE, depends,
_______________________

TMI, ESE. TMI.

OT: Are there any good movies to see right now? I want to catch a flick on Tues, I'll be right near a huge theater.

_______________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

Clarisse's picture

Sugar!
LOL! I liked them too 10 years ago ...but it's the same show/music...seen it once...twice...thrice...this will be #4 ! (but nobody else will take my nephew who was just a little peanut when they first started tourin') If you're in Cleveland on Dec 19th, I'll take you too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 6:50pm.
Well.
You're CONSTANTLY referring to changing your pants!
What's the lag time between the removal of the old and the appliance of the new.
---------------------------------

depends, is there anyone there to distract me in between?

OT: has anyone seen "The Fourth Kind" movie?... i was wondering if it was good

-----------------------------
"Extra! Extra!
Read all about it.
Pinball Wizard in a miracle cure!
Extra Extra read all about it
EXTRA!"

TheJackson4's picture

$140M? No accounting for some people's taste. Rotten Tomatoes aggregate review was only 29%, at least the critics haven't been glamoured by the hype.

Centaurious's picture

Georgie Porgie, NO pudding and pie!

The Man Who Looks at Billy Goats.
_______________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."