Sunday, November 22nd 2009

JLo Goes Down!


If you are in CA, you might have been wondering why that glass of straight-up vodka (I know how you do it) on your table vibrated Jurassic Park-style for a few seconds. Well, it wasn't from a gigantic T-Rex running through your front yard. It was JLo's big ass hitting the stage at the American Music Awards tonight. Yes, bitch went BOOM! JLo's Louboutins threw her off!

During her performance of that "Looweebatons" song, Skeletor's bone polisher busted her ass when she jumped off one of her dancer's back. JLo managed to pick her ass back up, but you know bitches will lose their jobs, health insurance, 401ks, loved ones and worldly possessions over this shit! That stage will be removed from the theater by tomorrow, those sneakers are already a pile of ashes and her dancer will only be able to get a job as a bus boy at Chili's. Everyone will pay for this!

And thanks to the boxing theme, the chorus of shirtless dudes and the massive amounts of sparkle, JLo's performance is the gayest of the night....so far (Glamberace is waiting in the wings). My no-no thanks her.

P.S. - For those of you who don't want to torture yourself by watching the whole thing, JLo's ass hitting the stage is at the 2:40 mark.

Posted by: Michael K


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gf

Jennifer Lopez attempts a big jump and falls down on her ass while performing her new song “Louboutins” at the 2009 American Music Awards at L.A.’s Nokia Theatre on Sunday (November 22). Luckily, the same part of her body that helped her become uber-famous has not only made her millions, it protects her when J Lo falls down on stage. She's just fine. Anyway, she has a hefty insurance policy on that piece of real estate of hers, so if she did need medical attention she wouldn’t need quick personal loans or anything.

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MrPossumsMama's picture

Watch it here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/22/jlo-falls-video-amas_n_367094.h...

She's pretty chunky to be jumping around on stage like that.

Submitted by like-wow on Mon, 11/23/2009 - 2:30pm.

I'm surprised that guy's spine held up.
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lololololol!

MizRo's picture

So goddam funny!! I replayed that part over and over again!

this is my fav j.lo performance, back in her prime. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9fUA_NMzIA

but even then she was like 30. some artist can go on forever, madonna, tina, cher...but some cannot and she is one of them. she should just chill w/ her money and be a mom or open up a dance studio in poor parts of the bronx.

Stan Hooper's picture

I am not medical doctor, but I think JLo hurt her vulva!!

WHACK!! Right on the vulva!!!

=========
"Let's unleash the defense lawyers." Nancy Grace.

Whatever's picture

That sucked. j-ho is such a has-been.

She needs to face it, she's too old for this stuff.

like-wow's picture

I'm surprised that guy's spine held up. J Ho has fat puffy mimi legs now so bitch best cover them up.

She recovered SO quick. Why did she have to ruin all the fun?!
WHY MUST I CRY?!

Mawy's picture

She did well right after the fall. Quick thinking. It still doesn't make up for the horrible song, crappy voice, awful hair and outfit. She really should not be singing. Didn't she make enough money already? She needs to stay out of the spotlight. Not because she's getting older, but because she's very lacking in the talent department. She definitely just wants to stay out there to give her big old ego even more of a boost.
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tinkerbell's picture

OMG T-Rex running through your front yard...you're killing me Michael!!!! LOL!!!!

toni's picture

That was great, the show was really a laugh riot for me. Jlola cant sing, wore a really unflattering outfit and now she cant dance anymore either! Lambert took all the attention off his lousy song, which sounded like a reject from Jesus Christ Superstar, with his shenannigans. Gaga flamed them all.

Bree's picture

I think she recovered well, even though I hated the entire song and the choreography. But even though I'm on the East Coast, I still thought it was part of the routine. If they just left it, I don't think many people would have even noticed.

Snoogle's picture

nevermind

♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
(Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 11/23/2009 - 11:58am)
-I'm rolling my eyes so hard I'm looking out my own asshole. -

Bossy's picture

What? Why would they edit that out? I would want it left in if I were her. I give J.Lo huge props for immediately getting up as if absolutely nothing happened. That's a performer right there. No stumbling, no whining, just finished the show full out. Good for her.

Bree's picture

Apparently, J. Ho made them edit it out in the later showings so only East Coasters saw the initial slip:

http://www.comcast.net/articles/entertainment-eonline/20091123/b155013/

Snoogle's picture

Skeletor will blame the dancers.

♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
(Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 11/23/2009 - 11:58am)
-I'm rolling my eyes so hard I'm looking out my own asshole. -

Bossy's picture

Really appreciate pointing out the exact time of the fall. I had it on mute and still didn't want to go through the whole thing.

This would be even better if it humbled her but it won't. It'll only make her determined to hang on tooth and nail. Some women can continue past 40 with this (Madonna- i'm not a fan but she doesn't look nearly as embarrassing doing this stuff) but Jlo is done. And the boxing theme is cheesy and hill billy ish as one trick pony astutely noted.
Really? Walking down the aisle with a 'The CHAMPION' being repeated? Laughable. She's insane if she thinks she is still a contender in pop music.

her legs look stumpy and she is past it. Go gracefully into the night. I would feel sorry for her if she wasn't such a notorious monster bitch.

aCertainAllure's picture

I'm gonna be completely honest. I don't really watch this Music Awards bullshit. It's not my thing. I'm not a J-Lo fan at all either, but this song actually doesn't irritate my ears. As for the whole boxing theme, it was whatever. If anything should be criticized it should be Adam Lambert's performance! Talk about obnoxious! His singing and show were horrible. Oh, and props to J-Lo for a good recovery on that fall.
================================================
You danced up on me so hard. Your face looked more angel than human. The music pierced through me like an x-ray. Your Mercedes looked more rocketship than car.

Did she just complete a triathalon recently? Her thighs looked really flabby they jiggled back and forth when she danced.. that was way worse than the fall.

Disraeli_Ears's picture

Now, I've got "Part-Time Lover" (Stevie Wonder, right?) stuck in my head...thanks, J-Lo you unoriginal bitch.

This song is awful...but she did recover nicely from the stumble. Those are the only props she gets from me.

=================================================
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?

slutstick's picture

I don't know, I still think her ass is made of rubber - at least partially.

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Submitted by i am a sloth on Mon, 11/23/2009 - 10:33am.

wow, her ass hit the ground hard! it (her ass) has so much padding that she was able to just bounce right back up.

~~*I have a gift for enraging people, but if I ever bore you it will be with a knife.*~~

quick recovery, so good for her.

but she sounded awful and danced worse.

i think she needs people around her who aren't blowing smoke up her ass. friends don't let friends get on stage looking like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
satan in a sunday hat, girl.

the.sack.of.culture's picture

You can't help but picture J-Lo hanging out in New Jersey in her custom-built walk-in shoe closet, playing dress up in her "Loo-batons," name-plate necklace, Christian Dior saddle bag and pink diamond engagement ring, pretending like it's 2000 and she's still on top of the heap. Sad, really.

JakeyGsSexSlave's picture

Fallin' in my Louboutins, fallin' in my Louboutins...

"Elizabeth, how does one suck a fuck?"

i am a sloth's picture

wow, her ass hit the ground hard! it (her ass) has so much padding that she was able to just bounce right back up.

Jlo's fall is symbolic of what has happened to her career.

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Emmatrude's picture

YINS IS JUST JELLIS! J. LO so skinny!

One-trick Pony's picture

I'm sure all of this has already been said here, but ...
1. The boxing motif? Complete with the "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" guy?! Seriously? Rule no. 1: If every hick south of Ohio plays something at her wedding reception, it's NOT cutting-edge.
2. She looked awful. Thing about J.Lo was, she always looked flawless. But the pasted-down hair, the old-lady shorts, the nudie stockings (?!) ... she looked masculine and, even worse, outdated.
3. The song, and the singing, were just pitiful.
4. Say what you will about Gaga, and even Adam Lambert, there are some interesting things happening today in pop music. J.Lo has no place in the landscape right now. She's 40 and should know better.
5. She looked SO pissed after her performance, heading backstage. And her little husband looked like, "Oh, shit. That wasn't good." LOVED it.

i_heart_jack's picture

I didn't see the show, but one of the local TV news shows in Los Angeles just ran the clip of the fall, and confirmed it was deleted for the West Coast.

snowball's picture

Whomever was responsible for this year's AMAs should be taken out and shot.
_______

Think of all the amounts of dick butter, ass jelly, nose dingles, taint cream and pit wine he has produced. (MK)

Were those granny panties she was wearing for her outfit? I swear my nana has a pair.

babybunny's picture

thank God I missed all this trainwreck, fake ass bullshit last night and opted for a good book and sleep....JLOW needs to really hang it up...bitches sound and look is so mid to early 1990's, it is pathetic...she and Lambert are so damn lame..

Stan Hooper's picture

First off, JLO is a bit to "robust" to be walking on top of "immigrant workers" (It reeked of Bruno if you ask me). Then her stubby little legs could not withstand the weight of her ass. Boom, right on her ass. I LOVED IT>

Over the years, JLo looks like she still dancing for "In Living Color". Come off it girl. The dancing and the song were whack.

Hang it up girl. YOU IS A 40-YR OLD MOMMA...Like me :) -- Our dancing days on top of guy's backs are behind us bitch

Thank you JLo for making xmas real special. That performance was a comedic gift.

=========
"Let's unleash the defense lawyers." Nancy Grace.

Jennie from the Bronx looks like she made too many trips to Taco Bell, you know, "outside the bun."

Gawd, her singing was more embarrassing than the fall.

shandiRW's picture

bah, fall was too graceful! ahaha, but will take what i can get!

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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho

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Snoogle's picture

Its funny when other people fall.

♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Mother Superior's picture

She dances like a rump steak in the pan.
As elegant as a potato sack.

GlitterKitty's picture

Jlo and a new song? Is it what 1999 where we care just a teeny bit? yawn.

darlingjulie's picture

First time hearing that song and it really sucks.

Did she piss off one of the fashion queens? Because whoever dressed her and told her that would be a great routine must have a vendetta against her. She looked stumpier than a tree trunk.

And the song fucking sucks. Shows you how far down on the chart of relevance she is. Bitch can't even buy a good song.

Dr. Dick's picture

Thanks Island Girl--that made my morning. Was there a richter scale measurment?